Light that Blinds --PG 15 reccommended...--

[Careless Whisper]

--Disclaimer, I just to post this, I feel this is more proper for this.. I know I already have a fan-fic, but this is actually a complete story

-Also, this is meant to be told from voice, not read from a piece of paper... you'll see why as you read.....--

 

 

Light that Blinds

 

--Before I begin my story, I must ask that you do not speak while I speak. I wish to have complere silence while I yell you this story, for I warn that every word is true.

--Upon a midnight in the little road of Stratolament St., there were two teenagers of mischief roaming the night, looking for trouble. There was me, and my best friend, Ricky Grank, who always knew how to enjoy a time when we were unsupervised.

--At the end of our street, there lay an abandoned building known to us as the "Caretaker's Head." Being the arrogant and trouble making teens we were, Ricky and I decided to explore this "haunted house" and see what was inside it. It was a stupid idea, biggest mistake of our miserable lives, but despitefully, we strolled the street, laughing maniacally and imagining what mystery could lie inside the house.

--Now, if you have seen this house known what was truly inside, you'd turn back at this point. I had never seen a more disturbing property.

--Such a sight it was to see such ruined and decayed, blackened sidings. The fence gate, front door, and window covers all were stained with so much corrosion and rust that they seemed impossible to even attempt to stand, yet they were straight and closed shut anyway.

--When we wretched open the fence gate, it tore off its own hinges and smashed with a loud, ear-renting pang onto the side walk, yet to our surprise, it did not wake any of the neighbors. Pressing and considering this situation, we continued along the mushy and swampy black lawn, which annoyingly squelched with each step, until we finally reached the front door, which thankfully did not fall as we slowly opened it, but it still let out a loud, andiant screech, which still did not wake a single sleeper, though, it was loud enough to.

--I took this eerie feature into consideration as Ricky and I stepped as quietly as we could into that nightmare.

It was dark, too dark even for our flashlights apparently, because they both went into darkness at the same second as we both set out feet upon the loudest floor creak we've ever heard. It could have masked out an entire shuttle launch, yet still not wake a sleeper. Either they were all deeply and heavily asleep, or something evil was at hand.

--I could tell that Ricky couldn't see either, because I heard a series of loud noises and thuds beside me that told e my own friend had tripped over something he couldn't possibly see.

--I, being smart in my opinion, stood still in the darkness for seceral minutes until a window shudder wierdly flew open on its own to spread a bathing moonlight to reveal the secrets within the black.

--It looked surprisingly like my own house from the inside. In fact, everything was exactly the same. I puzzled this, could we have stepped into some teleportation field that I did not see or know about and it teleported me safely home? No, I only wished of that, for something else must be working its devilish hands into this mystery.

--The bench we normally laid our shoes on was there, wooden and piled with random junk that looked nothing like shoes at all, or anything natural in anny matter. To our right, came the entrance to a loving room like area, set up just like my house, with a small computer desk and couch and lap right beside it. To our left, lay a room with a long table upon it, piled with more random junk, this room must be the equivalent to my dining room. Something abnormal, however, was the fact that everything that was in the correct place was heavily polished and dusted, like someone, or rather something had been living there and taking extra care of its home, like it had nothing else to for for its entire life time, if said inhabitant had a life.

--Ricky stepped in front to lead the way, and as we made journey though the front hallway, I managed to steal a glimpse behin us look once more the foor, which miraculously had been closed, I don't even remember closing it, unless Ricky had done it himself and done so quite silently. I managed to spot an object at the foot of the foor, the object Ricky must have tripped upon earilier. I nearly sickened when I saw that a freshly severed leg, freely bleeding and at the eginning of decay, lay upon the floor/ I stared at the leg with a troubling manner, until something else came to me.

--I heard it before I could even bring my own mind away from the horribly dismembered leg; it was loud and ugly, like two bones bones crackling with pressure until finally snapping, burning, and then falling like needles onto a steel floor. I snapped my attention to the front of my passage only to see Ricky, waltzing deathly backwards, slowly and sickly. He passed me and I could see more terror than I gelt by the sight of the severed leg. His eyes were burning from the inside-out, his hair had turned to sucj an ashy black that it was nearly impossible to see without the moonlight glazing into his horribly mutilated appearance, making him look like a terribly burnt ghost with that pale skin, that looked whiter that mild. Not a sound cme from his mouth, not a single twitch of change came to is petrified expression, and I turned away as I saw him strting to fall backwards, dead and spread-eagled onto his back, his scarred resting place. When I turned, I saw that someone had joined me, but not to comfort my now most tragic lose.

--At first, it started off as a fog of blackened smoke and steam than felt hot at its haze. When the fog cleared, a mean stoof before me, hunched over and menacing.

--His placid, yellow eyes stared into my wide open ones, barely visable under his gruesomely tarnished, bloodstained, terribly scarred, and blacken burnt skin. His long, midnight black cloak billowed wth the dark smoke that still rippled and lurked around his legs, and he held an anciant looking lantern, and he aimed its windowpane directly at me, looking me directly and hately into my eyes.

I heard something issue from his mouth, but I could not understand the murmur, for suddenly, his lantrern flashed a striking like into my wide-opened eyes, and everything turned to hell.

--I feel the pain first in my head, as if something were burning my very mind just like it must have done to Rickt; my sight blacked with a curtain of burning hot darkness as the light had burning my eyes to ash.

--My only reaction is to run the exact opposite directiom of which of I was standing, for I knew the door was that way. It was harder than it should have been, becasue it seemed as though all the random junk that were sitting upon the bench and dining room table had flown into the hall to prevent my passage, making it feel like I had stumbled into a pot of never-ending bear traps and bee hives, with pain issueing into my arms and les and I knew I must wrench myself though the maze before my mind is completely burned to crisp. I had to get outside, back into the cold to cool off my burning mind.

--I threw myself nlindly through the unseeable heap of mess that guarded the door until I finally crash into a wooden like surface, the blood pumping, trying to reach my white hot brain. I was running out of time, I knew I would surely die like Ricky did or get out soon. So, I felt around the wooden surface until I grasped a cold and metallic object, which I twisted, hoping for my dear life for it to be the door knob.

--How I had such luck was a complete mystery to me, for the object swung into my direction like a door, causing me to fall backwards painfully into the kuck pile behind me. I quickly stood up as best I could in a hurry and ran forard, to feel the relieving rush of cold air fill my lungs and cool my mind, but I did not stop running. I heard my feet squelch noisily with each paddle that told me I was on the lawn, until I crashed hard over something unexpected, and hurled into a harder surface. I lay there, pained in my head, wanting nothing more than a cat-scan and some rest, I closed my eye lids over my now blinded eyes, waiting for someone to spot me dreaming of that horrible vision and now unable to wake for hours.

[Jovi Siagian]

A little bit hard to be read.

[knucklesx]

A little bit tiring...but its ok

[Careless Whisper]

.. Meh.. I spend about 5 days on this short story, but I get those types of comments.. which both say the same thing basically.. just worded differently...

 

anyway, Thanks for commenting. anymore comments?

[Raelen]

Correct spelling errors and divide into paragraphs. These things alone should make it much easier to read. Nice descriptive sentences!

[Jovi Siagian]

.. Meh.. I spend about 5 days on this short story' date=' but I get those types of comments..

[/quote']

 

Of course you do. Use quotation mark when someone talks. Add more spaces.

[Careless Whisper]

Okay.. I did separate it into paragraphs, but not the way you think. I separated them by using 2 dask marks at the beginning, to show indention.

 

Also, there is barely any dialog, so quotation marks are hardly used... Also, I will look over the entire thing later on today to fix all the spelling mistakes.