The Ark

[Hobbes96]

this is to make up for my last fan fic which nobody reads anymore. I had some good critique on my last fanfic, as well as some tips on how to make it better. I hope this ff comes out well enough. enjoy.

[spoiler=Chapter 1]

A cold wind blew across the barren plain. A foot deep of snow made it difficult for anything to walk. If there was anything. And there was. A boy trod heavily through

the ice. He was doubled over because of the wind an his fingers and nose were red in the cold. The frost nipped at him, seeming as if any minute, he might die of cold.

Here, days like this were common, and people hardly ever left their houses that were carved into the frozen earth. If anyone left their houses, it was to buy food from shops almost as barren as the land, or to attend the funeral of someone who froze to death outdoors. And it seemed that the next death would be that of this young boy.

He stumbled and lay in the snow for several seconds, but he fought himself to stand once again, as he was driven by something other than to deliver the important package. The small, stuffy package was wrapped in brown paper and wrapped with a thin leather string. The strange thing about the package was the heat it radiated in the frozen tundra.

His instruction were simple.

"Once you are thirty miles out of town, open the package and bury it under the snow."

These were strange orders for Kado. Usually, he was asked to deliver packages, not bury them.

"I think that this is thirty miles" whispered Kado, the steam from his breath turning to mist before him. He untied the leather binding the parsel. He turned the paper package around in his hands. He began unwrapping the paper. Inside of the little package was a stone - actually more of gem. It appeared to be an amber egg-shaped stone.On the back of the stone was scratched one word: ARK

"Ark?" said Kado turning the stone over once again, but the wind started blowing and the stone started glowing. Kado gasped as the stone glared like the sun.

And Kado fell backwards onto the frozen ground. His eyes shut with the stone clutched in his fingers. The snow blew harder covering Kado's body, stone in his hands.

"ARK"

 

[ragnarok1945]

still too early to tell, but it's a good start for a fic

[Hobbes96]

thanx. I usually don't get replies this nice.

[ragnarok1945]

I don't try to criticize, even for fics I don't understand. however, I need more to see where this is going

[Hobbes96]

Actually, Critique is good.

just not flaming

[ragnarok1945]

I know what you mean. Should I expect another chap soon so I can better understand the fic?