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Jet Blade Dragon


Hexanort

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129512jy8.jpg

[spoiler=lore]If this card battles a Defense Position monster whose DEF is lower than this card's ATK, inflict the difference as Battle Damage to your opponent. Once per turn, by discarding 1 card from your hand, destroy 1 Spell and Trap Cards on the field. You can Special Summon this card from your Graveyard by Releasing 2 Dragon-Type monster you control.

 

 

pic:

http://www.wizards.com/global/images/duelmasters_coolstuff_creatures017_picMain_en.jpg

 

please rate

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Bump only after 24 hours have passed... you have been warned.

 

Secondly, the card is really nice. It's well-balanced, and I like the picture (though the name's al little corny -- fitting though -- and you could use to zoom in on the actual figure of the dragon... it took some searching before I found it's head.)

 

Of course, there are always things to fix. Your effect is the main one. It can be cut into three parts:

1. If this card battles a Defense Position monster whose DEF is lower than this card's ATK, inflict the difference as Battle Damage to your opponent.

 

2. Once per turn, by discarding 1 card from your hand, destroy 1 Spell and Trap Cards on the field.

 

3. You can Special Summon this card from your Graveyard by Releasing 2 Dragon-Type monster you control.

 

In #1, change "...Battle Damage to your opponent." into "...Battle Damage to your opponent's Life Points." For #2, "...destroy 1 Spell and Trap Cards" should be "...destroy 1 Spell or Trap Card".

And then, in #3, the correct OCG is not "Release", it's "Tribute". Unless you're writing in Japanese (and I can clearly see the text is in English...), you shouldn't use "Release". It's a YCMaker's way of trying to bolster his or her superiority, but all it's doing is degrading the overall card quality by making it less realistic, and more confusing for us stupid people trying to read. Change that.

And finally, switch effect #2 with effect #1. They should go in order of when they can activate. You only activate effect #1 in the Battle Phase, but if you Summoned this monster during the Main Phase 1, you could use it's effect #2 before using it's effect #1. Effect #3 is fine where it is...

 

Overall, good job! I like the looks, I like the technique, but your writing isn't so good. If you work on that, and keep this overall level of creation efficiency, you'll be on your way to a pro-quality set! :mrgreen:

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