The Topic With Two Fics. [HERO Towers/PG-13/Chap. 3][Life at Master's Dragon School/PG-13-15/Chap. 3 is ready!] I will give reps+points for comments.

[Alice Moonflowyr]

I now have two Fics in the same topic! Cool huh? With the combo of ADHD, a vivid imagination, and an inability to remember details, I need to write everything down. So, I currently have 3-4 fics going, two of which are on here! HERO Towers and LaMDS. Each has it's own little spoiler. And I will attempt to keep up with both of them, if people actually read them. I might even add more! Eventually. But enjoy these two, and please give critisism. I only have two people IRL reading these, and ones my mom.

I will now begin to give out Reps and Points for comments.
1 rep for a decent comment.
300 points for a semi-review.
600-900 for a full-blown review.[spoiler=HERO Towers]Ok. As all of you Fanfic/Creative Writing veterans know, I suck. Bad. After my failed attempt at a yugimonz dooling fiction, I decided to do a different kind. A duel spirit one. This means it's still ygo, which is what I wanted, it's HERO's, which is my fav archtype, and it's really good. Took me a few days of deleting, rewriting, redeleting, etc. I truly believe that this is a major step up from my previous.....hmmm....how to put this......sh*t. So....enjoy!

[spoiler=A little note/forward/preface/introduction]
This is for you nitpicky, duelspirit peeps. While I DO use Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters, the role they play in the story, or how they are in the story, will be in no way connected to any anime or manga, or even the card itself. Their ATK/DEF has no impact, nor does their effect if they have one. The vanilla HERO's, I might use a little bit of description from their.....well, descriptions. (For Example: Avian's [i]Featherbreak[/i], Burstinatrix's [i]Burstfire[/i], etc.)

Also, I created my own Duel Spirit history. Relationships between archtypes, the way the world works, and anything I might bring up in the story that doesnt exactly fit with the Anime/Manga/whatever, thats intentional. As is with personalities. So no whining in that department plz.

OK! With all that out of the way, please enjoy HERO Towers! [/spoiler]
[spoiler=Chapter 1]
I was interrupted from my meditation by a knocking at my door.

“Unless you’re new here, go away!” I yelled. Everyone was supposed to know that they don’t talk to me during meditation unless there is an emergency. Hell, I even went so far as to stick a ‘DO NOT DISTURB’ sign on my door!

“Dude, chill,” came a voice from outside my door.

“Whaddya want Avian?” I asked irritably.

“Boss wants you. Says it’s urgent.”

“Lovely. Tell him I’m on my way.”

Strapping on my basic gear, I headed over to the stairway, and began the long trek up to the top of the Skyscraper. Despite my many protests, the boss still refused to put in an elevator. Something about ‘exercise being good for you’ or something. Yeah. Like we don’t already get enough exercise in our line of work.

…

I walked into the headquarters at the top floor, and sat down.

“Lay it on me Spaceman. What’s so urgent that I need to be called from my precious meditation time?” I said.

Neos was looking out the window, his hands clasped behind his back.

“We have a situation,” he said without turning.

“Big whoop. What’s wrong?” I said. I was already bored, and just sitting in here was making me even more bored.

This time Neos turned around.

“This isn’t a joke Flyboy. The X-Sabers are on the march again. Big pain in the ass.”

“How dreadful. Where exactly are they headed?” Still bored.

“The Ice Barrier Fortress if Avian’s intel is accurate.”

“And this is our problem……how?” I asked. Neos always had the amazing, unique talent to take something already boring, and multiply it tenfold. So, the boring idea of the wimpy ol’ X-Sabers moving toward the almost-impenetrable Ice Barrier fortress, which is waaaay out of our realm of law, was multiplied so I was almost asleep. Now, if someone like Escuradão or Zero was talking, with all their ‘I’m a badass’ this and ‘listen and don’t fall asleep or I kill you’ that, I might be somewhat interested. And scared out of my pants.

Neos slammed his fist on the table (I love making him do that!) and said; “Dammit Flyboy, this is serious! Not only are they racing to get to the Fortress, and away from us, they allied themselves with the Dragunity!”

The Dragunity?! That [i]is [/i]bad. See, the Drags have never, and I mean [i]never[/i] lost a war. Note that when I say ‘war’ I mean two plus sides willingly engaging in conflict. That is to say, they failed once, and that was to take over the Ice Barrier. It’s the last hurdle for them, and Barcha really wants to leap it. But it’s quite high, and comes with an anti-fly if you get what I mean.

“The Drags are with them?” I said, a little too loudly.

“Yes. I would call you a featherbrained moron, but I’m keeping that for when Avian screws up again.”

The only good thing about Mr. Astronaut-dude here is that he is the [i]man[/i] when you need a good insult. Or a stupid nickname. Or a seminar on how to be a proper HERO. Or all the above. You get what I mean!

“Huh. I thought they had more dignity then that.” I said to myself. I’m not so bad myself, am I?

“We cannot fight the Dragunity. If it was just the X-Saber, we would go over there in a heartbeat, and give them the ass-kicking they have deserved for so long. But not with the Dragunity. Just….no. But with allies we might have a chance. [i]Strong[/i] allies.”

“Wait. You mean…..uh…..”

“Yes. You need to fly your meditating behind over to the Shogun.”

“But I thought that they were our enemies too!”

“Rivals. There is a difference, however subtle it may be. But I don’t think they are big fans of the Drags OR X-Saber either, so you might have some luck.”

Ohhh yeah. Adventure time beeyatches.

“When can I go?” I asked, already standing up.

“Whenever you like, as long as it actually happens soon. You have a reputation for…..procrastinating.” he said.

“You oughta see me when I need to use the bathroom after eight glasses of coffee.” I muttered. “No procrastinating there.”

“What?” he asked.

“Nothing. So I can go when I want?”

“Yes. Which probably means it won’t get done till…..what are you doing?” He interrupted himself as I walked over to the window.

“You said I could go when I want. I’m going now.” With those words, I leapt through the window, shoulder first. Breaking the window is so much fun.

…

A lizard the size of a loaf of bread skittered along on his hind legs, slowly approaching a tent. Not just any tent, for amid the khaki tents, this one was bright red.

“Captain Souza….may I come in?” he said, in a slightly chirpy voice.

“Of course Ragigura. Enter.” came a voice from inside the tent.

The creature called Ragigura entered the tent, and said something about a message getting out. A furious howl of rage came from inside the tent, which was almost immediately followed by Ragigura flying out of the tent.

“A message? To WHO?” came a bellow.

“T-the…..HERO’s sir.” came the reply.

A man emerged from the tent and picked Ragigura up by his shirt. “The HERO’s?” he said in a deadly whisper.

“Y-yes Captain.” muttered Ragigura.

The man hurled Ragigura into another tent, from which came a muffled protest. He then proceeded to tear said tent apart, revealing a man in blue armor, sharpening a rather large sword.

…

I loved this part. Free-falling out of the top floor of the frickin’ Skyscraper, with the whole of Hero City beneath you….there are no words. The wind on your face, the feeling of weightlessness….priceless. I decided I should avoid killing myself however, and prepared for flight.

“Those windows cost money you know!” came the yell. I ignored Neos.

“Sorry! Can’t hear ya!” I yelled back. “Alright. Let’s GO!” I said to myself, and engaged my wings.

My wings are the heart and soul of my gear. Made of lightweight steel, with two turbines to keep me from dropping like a stone, I looked like a frickin Rock n’ Roll angel. At least, I think so. Avian says I look like a very heavy bird, but what does he know. The guy thinks green and white look cool together. I personally like blue and green, which is what I wear.

“Banzai!” I yelled as the turbines started whirring. [i]Ok. The Castle of Mist isn’t far from the Hero City. Only about 25 leagues. Better start going! [/i]I thought to myself. Shien, here I come! [/spoiler]
[spoiler=Chapter 2]
Did I ever mention that I hate being bored? As I flew over the plains in between the Hero City and the mountains, I was very bored. Seriously, there is nothing more boring than flying over flat, featureless [i]grass[/i] with nothing remarkable about it. Thankfully, I only had a couple miles until the mountains. I sighed, and sped on. [i]The turbines are gonna need charging soon…[/i] I thought as I veered off toward a village. [i]Hope they have something to charge these suckers with…[/i]

…

“Yaaaa-hoooo!” yelled the man wheeling around in the sky. He was all in green and feathered. He even had wings.

“Avian, come down here!” Said a woman dressed in bright red Spandex. She also wore a bright gold headpiece, and had extremely long hair that started black and ended white at the last couple inches.

“Comin!” Avian wheeled down towards an arena, yelling as he came down. “Can’t you see I’m busy Burstinatrix?” he asked the woman.

“Oh yes. Flying and yelling around like a moron is [i]very[/i] mature. You looked extremely busy.” She said with a sly look on her face.

Avian pouted and said; “What do you want?”

“Neos called a meeting. Something about the X-Saber.”

“Really? So we get to kick their asses again? Hi-yah! Wa-cha!” He yelled as he started doing poor imitations of martial arts.

“Hopefully, yes. But we won’t get anything done fighting like that. Now come on.” She grabbed his arm and pulled him towards the Skyscraper, with Avian protesting the whole way.

…

Neos sat at the table where Stratos had first been sent out on his mission. Except this time it had almost all the HERO’s at it.

“Can we get this over with? I was busy!” Avian shouted.

“Patience my feathered friend. We will go as quickly as possible.” The reply came from a HERO that looked like a shorter version of Neos.

“Yeah, shut up featherbrain!” This came from a HERO in purple armor, and sparkling with static electricity.

“Quiet down you fools. We actually have a serious problem.” Neos said, and although he sounded stern, he had a hint of a smile playing around on his face. “As I told Stratos, the X-Saber army, led by Souza, has allied with Barcha to overrun the Ice Barrier Fortress. Thankfully, they managed to alert us through Blizzed. Dewloren begs for our assistance.”

“Yeah, that sucks, but can we really take on both the Dragunity Legions AND the X-Saber?” This comment came from a reddish-whitish HERO, whose armor looked more like an exoskeleton of bones.

“No, Necroshade. Not alone that is.”

“So who else is gonna help?” the HERO identified as Necroshade asked.

“I sent Stratos on a mission to the Castle of Mist. He should be able to get Shien’s help there.”

A loud bark of laughter came from the other end of the table.

“….something funny, Wingman?” Neos asked.

The figure stood up. He looked slightly like Avian, except his face had a sort of mask, and his right side was red, and he had a large red gauntlet shaped like a dragons head. “You are so naïve Neos…..You think that the Almighty Shogun will help?” Wingman sneered. “You might as well ask the Dragunity to please surrender, and then dance the waltz. Never going to happen.”

“But…Shien is a great warlord. Why wouldn’t he help?” The short Neos asked.

“Tell me Alius…how many dealings have you had with the Shogun anyways?” Wingman asked softly.

“Um…none.” Neos Alius muttered.

“I thought so. Ever since Shi En became Shogun, and Shinai left, they have become a lot less ‘honorable’ then they appear to be. The lady Mizuho even became an assassin. The Six Samurai have been corrupted.”

“But they are still strong. We will still ask for their help.” Neos reasserted his authority and, motioning Wingman to sit down again, began. “Stratos will hopefully come to us with the Samurai by the time we need it. Until then, we will assist Dewloren however we can.”

“Why can’t Dewloren just release the Spears?” asked a blue HERO with a trident. Well, he didn’t actually say anything. He had no mouth, so he communicated telepathically.

“A halfway-decent question Ocean. See, Dewloren already has released Brionac, and that’s the only thing that’s keeping back the enemy. He wants to keep Gungnir in reserve, and he only will release the third as a last resort.” Neos answered.

Ocean nodded and settled back into his seat, crossing his arms.

“We are going to start doing reconnaissance on the Dragunity and X-Saber camps. I’m putting Alius in charge of that. Escuradão will begin a harder training regimen. And Zero, Gaia, and Nova will be searching for any other possible allies. Now get to work.”

…

A short dragon in bronze armor wielding a small bronze shield roared, and charged another dragon. This one was black with a white chest and red wing membrane. His head was shaped rather oddly, with it tapering to a sharp point at the nose, and outlined in silver. He met the bronze-armored dragons charge, and flew into the air. The other dragon let out a roar and started to fly into the air.

“Phalanx! Darkspear! Get down here!” This voice came from a man with a mask covering his face, and he had what looked like a nine-string whip at his side.

“Aw, Dux!” Shouted the dragon known as Phalanx. “Can’t you see we’re training?”

“No, I see you yelling like barbarians.” Dux replied. “Come on, Leyvaten and Barcha want us.”

Phalanx and Darkspear landed, and grumpily marched with Dux toward a large tent.

…

Inside the tent was a table that could seat about seven people. Except four of them were dragons. A large, armored orange dragon sat in a large ornate chair, running a claw down a huge steel blade about twice the size of your arm.

Next to him sat a yellow dragon with the same armor, and a slightly smaller version of the same blade.

On his other side there was a reddish dragon with silver armor, which looked puny next to the large orange one.

Phalanx sat next to the reddish dragon, with Dux next to him. Next to Dux, there was a woman wearing scale mail and a white-brown skirt. She was twirling a large knife in between her fingers, and a smaller hunting knife hung at her belt.

On the opposite of the large orange dragon sat Souza, still looking furious about what happened earlier.

“Well Souza?” the large orange dragon growled. “YOUR men were put in charge of locking down communication, and what happens? A message gets out. To the Elemental HERO’s no less. What do you have to say for yourself?”

Souza just sat there, looking sullen.

“I demand an answer.” Said the large orange dragon.

“…….I apologize for my neglect. I beg for your forgiveness Major Leyvaten.” Souza muttered.

Leyvaten leaned across the table, and Souza smelled his rank breath in his face. “Your apology is NOT accepted. Those pests will find allies, because they are not stupid. Those allies will be strong, because they are not stupid. And it will be hard to fight against THREE factions of enemies because, once more, they. Are. Not. Stupid.” Leyvaten snarled, nearly spitting out the last four words.

Souza hung his head, and Leyvaten could smell the stench of his fear.

“I think we should kill him where he sits.” Growled the yellow dragon.

“What would we gain from that Mystletainn?” asked the woman

“It would show them just exactly who is in charge here.” Mystletainn said, still angry.

“Militum is right Mystletainn. We would gain nothing from killing Souza, even if he’s an impudent worm.” Leyvaten said. “Leave my sight. I cannot bear the sight of you any longer.” He growled to Souza.

As Souza slowly got up, Phalanx growled at his back; “Gottoms would never have let this happen. You have brought shame on the X-Saber army Souza. Mess up like this again, and you [i]will [/i]regret it.”

The look of rage on Souza’s face showed that if Phalanx was the only one there, he would have drawn his swords and cut him down in an instant. And Phalanx knew it, which was all the more infuriating.

“You’ll get yours, you infernal lizard.” He shouted has he left.

“Now….let’s get down to brass tacks.” Leyvaten said, curling his hands into fists and putting them under his chin. “The Lance of the Five-Headed will arrive in a week. We have one week to whip those stupid humans into shape…………..”[/spoiler][spoiler=Chapter Three]
Landing with a slightly undignified bump, I retracted my wings and headed over to what looked like the local tavern. I walked into the tavern, and as I opened it, all the patrons in it stared at me. It was a tavern unlike what I usually see. The bar area was painted black and green, and made me want to barf. The bartenders were a woman and a boy that looked like her son. The woman looked around thirty, with brownish hair that looked like it hadn’t been brushed in a long time. Her face looked hard, and unforgiving. Like someone who doesn’t tolerate rowdiness in her tavern. The boy had a lighter shade of hair, and it was better cared for. It wasn’t long, and barely touched his forehead. His face looked scared, but determined. He looked like he was ten years old.

“Sir.” said an old man who was sitting at the table to my right. He saluted me, and said; “Praise the Archlord, a HERO. Praise Kristya.” He sat down.

“Uhhh….thank you? I’m just looking for a room to spend the night, and maybe borrow some power to…I’m sorry, why do you need to praise Kristya that I’m here?” Curiosity aroused, I couldn’t resist.

“Winged One, there is a brigand of bandits that has been raiding us for over a week. They block all messages, and take our women and children in the night, and kill the guards with a knife in the back.” The voice came from a small girl near the back of the tavern.

Looking at the old one, I asked; “Do these bandits have a name?”

He looked troubled and said; “Of course.”

“What is it?”

“My son heard them once while he was hiding. He heard a name, Meanae.”

I slammed my fist on the table. Meanae! Where there’s one Dark Scorpion, there’s sure to be others. And Zaloog. Don Zaloog, the Dark Scorpion’s infamous leader.

“Your [i]brigands[/i] are the Dark Scorpions. Best thieves in history. Led by a man named Don Zaloog, they pick on a town, with for the authorities, and vanish. Except this time they blocked a message. Do you have something they need, but haven’t gotten to yet?”

The old one replied again. “We captured one thief. He identified himself as Cliff.”

“Ah. If Zaloog has one redeeming quality, it’s his loyalty. He won’t leave any of his men behind, especially his Trap Remover.”

“Is that how they get past the guards? That man? Don Zaloog?”

“Yes. Cliff gets rid of the guards, Meanae is a watcher, Chick gets in, Gorg is the bodyguard, and Zaloog is a professional assassin as well as a master thief. Meanae also delights in torture.”

The old man shivered and asked; “Can you get rid of them sir?”

“First of all, stop calling me sir. Call me Stratos. Second of all, yes I can, after I get some power in these wings.”

“Yes sir…I mean Stratos. We might have just enough power at the R-Genex.”

“You have an R-Genex station?”

“Aye. They help us with building and such. Used to be bodyguards too, till those cursed Scorpions broke the connection lines.”

I followed him to the R-Genex station, examined it and, determining that there was just enough power to do the job, plugged in the wings.

“Now I let it charge.” I muttered, more to myself than anyone else.

“What will you do while you wait sir?”

“Stop it. And as for waiting…how’s about a beer?”

The old man busted a smile and said; “I like you boy. I like you a lot.”

As we neared the tavern again, I asked what his name was.

He hesitated, then said; “Kagemusha. My name is Kagemusha.”

…

“Let the Council of Ice come to order! ORDER!” a large, white tiger shouted. He sat on a throne-like seat carved entirely out of ice. The table he sat at was ice as well, with everything else ice. Including the very room they were in.

“Blizzed still has not returned. I think we can assume that whoever he chose to go to isn’t coming. Blizzed is dead. May he rest in peace.” This came from a large woman, whose clothing could have been ice. She sat directly to the left of the tiger, in a smaller likeness of his throne.

“Aye Ice Queen. I agree. Sadly, we have no choice but to face the Dragunity and X-Saber alone.”

“Dewloren that is madness! Surely we cannot!” this time, the voice came from the far end of the table, where a man with long, dirty blonde hair was sitting. He had a quiet, serious air.

“Then what do we do Pilgrim? Do we surrender?” Dewloren growled back.

“No, we should get another message out. Send Dewdark. He might make it.” Pilgrim replied, tension in his voice.

Sighing, Dewloren turned to the Ice Queen and asked; “What do you think?”

“Can Grunrard spare Dewdark?” she asked.

“I’m right here.” The man obviously known as Grunrard said. “And yes. I can spare Dewdark, but that’s it.”

“Then I agree on sending Dewdark. Send him west, toward our kin.”

“The Gishki? Why would they help us? As long as we retain the Spears, they will not do anything.”

“Then send him to the King of Fish. They could reach here faster anyway.”

“The Deepsea King Coelacanth? That’s not a bad idea. Grunrard, inform Raiho of this and send Dewdark to the Deepsea King.”

As Grunrard left, Dewloren softly growled; “We must gain allies soon. It is getting to the point where Brionac is not enough to hold off the two armies. Gungnir may soon have to be released from his icy prison.”

“Is it really getting that bad…?” asked a girl next to the Ice Queen.

“It is worse than you think Princess. I only thank the gods that Gottoms is not here.”

“If Gottoms was here, we wouldn’t be in this predicament.”

Dewloren nodded and said “Fair point. Gottoms did not see fit to crush everyone beneath his heels to amuse himself.”

“Dewdark is swift, he will reach the King.”

…

A fire flickered, casting shadows around a crude-looking camp. Muffled sniffling came from a bundle nearby. A man poked it with a stick and said; “Shut up swine! You’re the bait, and we’re the hook. An bait don’t got no right to speak to the hook.”

A howling wind began, and nearly put out the fire. A man with long, purplish hair was stropping what seemed to be a knife. He had his face turned away from the fire, and said; “Gorg! Sit in front of the fire in a way so that the wind won’t blow it out. Too cold for a night with no fire.”

The big man grunted and shifted his position.

A loud wail came from the tent closest to them, followed by a smacking sound and a girl giggling. Gorg grimaced and tried not to listen.

“It aint right, what that girl does to em. Just aint right.” Gorg said in a low monotone.

“Shaddup Gorg. Who knows what they’re doing to Cliff huh? Mebbe their doin worse to him.”

“I don think that’s possible boss.”

The long-haired man chuckled. “Maybe your right.” He stared at the knife in his hand and, without warning, threw it at Gorg.

Without so much as a flinch, Gorg raised the large club he had at his side, and let the knife sink into the wood of the club.

Laughing softly, the long haired man turned, revealing a scarred face with an eye patch, and yanked the knife out of the club. “Quick as a cat, as always.”

“Your knife won’t taste blood tonight. But tomorrow, it will bathe.”[/spoiler]
[/spoiler]
[spoiler=Life at Master's Dragon School]
[spoiler=Introduction]
I started writing this in 2009. It's based off of a game my friend and me used to play. I noticed that there are a lot of issues in descriptions and details, because of the reason that there are no humans. Only dragons. So, to clear up these issues, I made this.
[spoiler=Anatomy]The major anatomy problem was that readers didnt exactly know whether the dragons were Bipedal or walking on four legs. The awnser is, bipedal. The dragons have six limbs, their legs, arms, and wings. For there arms, I do refer to hands, simply because I cannot think of an appropriate word. A dragons scales also give insight to it's type, orange dragons are usually Fire, green dragons could be Plant, and Wind dragons have a special kind of color. Ice dragons could be silvery, gold dragons are gold, etc. etc.[/spoiler][spoiler=Other]This is to explain the age cycle. A dragon year is the same as 5 human years. This was so I could keep the dragons at age....20 say....and still be old as heck. Dragons live virtually forever, so the 1-to-5 ratio kept me from doing complex ages such as 458. Next birthday, 459. Next, 460. I mean, who REALLY wants to count that long?[/spoiler]Those two things are things I cannot explain, because the dragons already know it, and they have no reason to tell other dragons about something they already know. Without a human or something to explain it to, I had to do this. Now....enjoy Life at Master's Dragon School.[/spoiler]
[spoiler=Chapter One - Silverthorn]
Silverthorn stood outside the Dragon School, shivering with nervousness. It was her first day at Master’s Dragon School, and she was very nervous. The crowd of dragons around her was so big, it rather unbalanced her. She knew she couldn’t stay out there forever though and, taking a deep breath, walked through the open doors.

She barely had time to take in the vastness of the entrance hall before she was swept along with the crowd. She worked her way to the edge, where she bumped into a flame-colored dragon.

“Oof! Sorry, didn’t see you there!” he said quickly, then continued to walk off. Silverthorn stared after him for a few seconds, then shook her head and tried to find the welcome room. If this place even had one.

“You lost miss?” came a deep voice from behind her. Silverthorn turned and saw a very, [i]very[/i] large dragon. Its scales were brown, and shining.

“Uh….kinda, yeah.” She told the dragon.

He smiled and said; “First year eh? Don’t worry. Soon enough, you’ll know these corridors quite well. I’m Master.”

Silverthorn gasped. “THE Master?” she asked.

Master spread his arms and said; “The one and only! Come on, I’ll show you where to go.” Master led her towards a rather large door made of iron, and it opened at a snap of his fingers. “This is the orientation hall for the new dragons. Don’t cause trouble.” He said as he walked away.

…

After orientation was over, which was basically a speech from a teacher about the rules, history of the school, and the student schedule, Silverthorn walked towards her dorm. She was in the North Wing of the school, fifth tower on the right, third floor, second hallway, eighth door on the left. As she opened the door to her cave, she found that it already had all her stuff in it. She yawned and threw herself onto the bed, and slept.

The next morning, she looked at her schedule, and saw that her first class was in Breath Magic. She hurried over to the classroom, and sat down next to a flame-red dragon.

The teacher walked up to his desk at the front and, clearing his throat, began.

“Welcome to your first Breath Magic class! I am Professor Steelscale, and I will be your teacher. Now, Breath Magic is something all dragons should be able to do in one form or another, and it is basically taking your base element, and blasting it out of your mouth.”

The flame-red dragon raised his hand and said; “Uhhh….but if you’re a fire type or something like it…wouldn’t that hurt your mouth?” he asked.

“No. You are essentially immune to whatever magic you are using until you release it. But good question though. What’s your name?” Professor Steelscale asked him.

“My name’s Flamethrower sir.” Flamethrower answered.

“Good name. Now, I want you all to look inside the jar that you will find under your desk.” Steelscale continued.

Silverthorn located the jar easily enough, and found it was filled with water.

“Why does mine have DIRT in it!” shouted a brown-scaled dragon from across the room.

“Each jar has inside it something that can be affected by your type. You are an Earth Dragon; therefore, you have dirt in your jar. Flamethrower over there is a Fire Dragon, hence he has coal. Now, I want you all to imagine affecting whatever is inside your jar in one way or another, and breath on it.”

Silverthorn opened her jar, and stared at the water. [i]Well, I AM an Ice Dragon. So I should imagine freezing it. [/i]Silverthorn pictured the water freezing over, and then slowly breathed out on it. With a crackling sound akin to stepping on frost, the water’s surface froze slowly over.

“Hey! I got something!” she exclaimed.

Professor Steelscale walked over to her desk and leaned over her jar, and said; “Ah! An Ice-Dragon! And a very talented one too, seeing as not many can freeze over three inches of the surface on their first try. Very good! What is your name young lady?”

“S-Silverthorn sir.” She stammered at him.

“Now, now, no need to be nervous! Great job indeed, high marks for you!” Steelscale clapped Silverthorn’s shoulder and headed over to his desk.

“Holy s***!” yelled Flamethrower. He had gone a little too far, and lit his desk on fire. A grey dragon collapsed out of his chair, laughing, when a blue-green dragon showed up and put out the fire. He ended up soaking Silverthorn as well.

“Now, now, it’s alright! That happens every first class with a Fire. Gets a little too enthusiastic! Avalanche, get your ass up and stop laughing!”

The gray dragon apparently known as Avalanche got up and, still giggling, sat down again. “Sorry, sir.” He said. “I was waiting for that. New guys never disappoint!”

Steelscale glared at Avalanche, then turned to Flamethrower and said; “Don’t mind Avalanche. He was held back for 4 years. He’s the infamous school prankster, and thinks this sort of stuff is funny.” Glaring at Avalanche again, he walked back over to his desk.

“Whoa. So that’s Avalanche. I got warned to watch out for him ya know. I thought he was some sorta delinquent, stealing and the like. Although now I think I like him!” Flamethrower muttered to Silverthorn.

After that fateful first class ended, Silverthorn and Flamethrower became friends. Best friends, actually. They even became friends with Avalanche and Evergreen, Avalanche’s partner-in-pranks. Those four had some great times at school together, which is what you’re going to read about…..[/spoiler][spoiler=Chapter 2: Another day, another class. And a tip-off, some whispering, and an unknown scheme.]
Silverthorn had been at the School for a week now, and was quite enjoying it. She had mastered freezing a small amount of water completely, and could also frost stuff over that wasn’t water. Except today, she attended a different class. This time, she walked with Flamethrower and Avalanche over to Evocation class.

As Silverthorn sat down, she noticed that this classroom was very different from the Breath Magic class. There were targets lined up on the far wall, one of which had many scorch marks. On the other side of the room there was a shelf with assorted objects on it. She sat next to a golden dragon, who was deeply interested in a large book in his lap.

“Hello,” Silverthorn said to him. “My name’s Silverthorn. What’s yours?”

She got no reply, so she tried asking again. When she at last discovered that the dragon was not going to answer her, she huffed and stared around the room a little.

“ATTEN-TION!” A loud voice boomed. “I DEMAND you be quiet IMMIDIATLY!” The voice came from a bright orange dragon, who was obviously their teacher. “My name is Embers. Professor Embers. Now, you all need to shut up and listen. You didn’t come here to learn to talk, you came to learn Evocation.”

It was amazing how fast the room quieted down after that.

“Now. With Professor Steelscale, you learned the fundamentals of Breath Magic. Evocation is a bit more difficult then Breath Magic. You all have a bowl in front of you. I want you to attempt to place something in it using magic.”

Avalanche sighed from across the room, and threw a few pebbles in. Silverthorn didn’t get how he did that, so she tried the same thing that Steelscale told her. Picture what you are going to do, then let the magic flow. Except instead of her maw, she concentrated it on her palm.

As nothing happened, she started to wonder what was wrong. She thought about making a couple ice chunks in the bowl, but still nothing happened.

“Got a problem?” Professor Embers had walked up behind her, and sat down beside her.

“Yeah. I pictured making ice chunks in the bowl, tried to get the flow of magic to go through my palm, and nothing happened!” Silverthorn said, quite frustrated.

“Hmmm….hold on. I’ve seen this sort of thing before. Let me help.” With those words, Embers placed the tips of her fingers on Silverthorns temples. “Interesting….haven’t seen this hybrid for years…”

“H-hybrid?” Silverthorn asked hesitantly.

“Type hybrid. More than one type mixed together. It’s not that uncommon, but if you get two conflicting types you might have a problem. However, your secondary type balances out your first one, while synchronizing with it quite well. Very unexpected.”

“Secondary type?! I didn’t know I had a secondary type!” Silverthorn exclaimed.

“Almost all dragons can master a second type of magic, though not easily. But you were born with this ability, so you will master the two quite easily.”

“Well…that’s good. But what IS my secondary type?”

“That’s the interesting part. You are a Crystal-Ice dragon.”

Crystal-Ice? That was something Silverthorn had never heard of.

“Tell me, do you know both of your parents?” Embers asked. “If you don’t mind my asking.”

“Oh no it’s fine. My father left when I was three. I never knew him, but Mother says he was a strong dragon, and a soldier.”

“Then that’s it. Your father must have been a Crystal dragon. Or a Crystal Ice dragon. But try to get some crystals in the bowl, like topaz or jade or something.”

Silverthorn had no idea what topaz was, but her mother had a large piece of jade in the garden. She thought of a smaller likeness of that piece, and closed her eyes and let the magic flow. This time she could feel it. A heat in her palm, warm and comforting at first, then searing hot like flame. She yelled and stopped. When she looked in the bowl there was a perfectly cut, slightly pulsating, piece of jade.

Embers applauded and told the class; “This is an extremely talented dragon! I haven’t seen a piece of crystal so well cut on the first try!”

“But….why couldn’t I do Ice?” Silverthorn asked Embers.

“Like I said, I’ve seen this before. Your Evocation forte is Crystal, and Ice is your Breath Magic forte. I bet you if you tried to do something with crystals with your maw, nothing would happen.”

Silverthorn left the classroom that day very proud of herself, and with quite a bit to ponder on.

“That was friggin awesome!” Flamethrower said as he walked beside her. “You made a perfect crystal! Wonder if you’ll be able to make diamonds eventually….”

After the class, students had been pelting Silverthorn with questions, and it was starting to get on her nerves. Once Avalanche and Flamethrower shooed everyone away, and led Silverthorn away from the crowd, she felt better.

“Hey, I haven’t seen Evergreen around lately. What’s he doing?” Silverthorn asked Avalanche, who was examining part of the wall.

“Quiet down! None of the teachers know he's gone yet!” Avalanche whispered forcefully.

“Oh.” Silverthorn whispered back. “But then where’d he go?”

“Got a tip-off. Can’t tell you anything else. Gotta run.” Avalanche looked around, and then stole a quick glance back at the wall he was examining before turning and casually walking away.

Silverthorn walked over to the wall and ran her claw along it. She couldn’t find anything interesting, so she shrugged and started to head to lunch.

…

“Pssst! Silverthorn! In the corner!” Silverthorn was just dumping her plate in a large bin when she heard Avalanches whisper from the edge of the lunch room. She looked around, and then walked over.

“What’s up? Why are we in the corner? And what’s a tip-off?” Silverthorn asked.

“One at a time. We’re in the corner because I don’t want anyone to hear. A tip-off is when someone gives you information. What’s up is this. If you want to see history, be in corridor twelve at half-past three tomorrow.” With those words, he trotted off, leaving Silverthorn quite puzzled.
[/spoiler][spoiler=Avalanches little bit of History]
“The hell? Why would he say history?” Flamethrower asked Silverthorn as they walked away from the lunch room.

“Dunno. I might end up going though. Wanna tag along?”

“Wouldn’t miss it. When Avalanche says stuff like that, you REALLY wanna be there.” Flamethrower smiled as he said that.

“Oddly enough, you’re right.”

The rest of the day passed without much else. Flamethrower set his desk on fire again though, and got detention. Luckily, it was only for thirty minutes. As Silverthorn walked back towards her dorm, she passed that same section of wall again. Avalanche was nowhere near and, as curiosity reared its head, Silverthorn nervously looked around, and then felt the wall all over. She couldn’t feel anything at first, but then as she ran her claw through the cracks a second time, she caught on something.

Tugging on it, she heard a click and, with a large rumble, the stones folded back, and back again, until a small corridor was revealed. The stones inside were heavily coated with dirt and moss, and seemed slightly damp. Backing away, Silverthorn reversed the process with a small lever that had appeared, and then ran.

…

“The passage has been opened.”

“Huh. Wonder who coulda opened it; no one knows cept me and you.”

Avalanche and Evergreen stood outside the passageway, which they had opened again, and were talking in hushed voices.

“Did anyone see you testing it?” This came from Evergreen, who was poking his head inside. “Smells in there…”

“Silverthorn ran along right as it closed, but I don’t think she heard anything…”

“Make sure man. Can’t have operation S.M.T. messed up.”

“Yeah…I’ll ask her tomorrow morning.”

…

Silverthorn stretched as she crawled out of her cave. She had a very odd dream where she was in the tunnel she discovered, and she was walking along it, but never came out. It was endless. Shaking off the slight after-terror of the dream, Silverthorn headed to breakfast.

“Whoa…Going somewhere?” Avalanche was right outside the dorm, and had put an arm across the doorway, blocking Silverthorns way.

“What do you want?” Silverthorn sighed. “Hurry up, I’m hungry.”

“You went in the passage.” Avalanche stated. Didn’t ask, merely said.

Silverthorn’s shock was evident on her face. “How did you know?”

“Simple, really. It smelled clearer in there, and the only way that could have happened is if the entryway was open. It has no venting, and the other end hasn’t been open for years. When I first opened it, it was for a few seconds. You had it open for a full minute or so, judging by the smell.”

Silverthorn tried hard to keep a straight face. Avalanche was held back for [i]years[/i] and here he was, demonstrating his mastery of a very difficult tracking technique!

“Surprised? I can do quite a bit, but I really don’t WANT to advance. The harder classes take up more time, time that could be used for more….interesting…things.”

“Ok, yes, I did open it. Now can I go eat? I’m quite hungry by now.”

Avalanche moved his arm and said; “Yeah, fine. Just don’t mess with things you don’t know about. But if you disobey me, which I know you will don’t give me that face, follow these rules. One, under no circumstances do NOT go into any passageway that you don’t know where it leads. This school has some pretty nasty stuff hiding in it, and not all of it is friendly. Secondly, try not to get caught. The punishment is quite severe. Thirdly and lastly, don’t hesitate to ask me or Evergreen for other tips. Meet Evergreen up at lunch today, he’ll give you a small piece of parchment that says “Homework” on it. It will actually be a map of all the basic secret passages that me and him found. Basic stuff like getting to classes quicker and general sneaking around. But don’t use them too much. Anyway, go eat.” Avalanche walked off, and started whistling.

Thus started Silverthorn’s career as an Ark.

After Silverthorn retrieved her map, she found that the envelope had a letter as well. She read it.

[i]Welcome to the Arks Silverthorn! As you might know, I run a circle of….schooldragons….called the Arks, who are basically my partners-in-almost-crime. We use the abundance of secret passages in the school, which teachers claim don’t exist, and discover others. You’re current rank is Noob. We have a meeting tonight at midnight, where you will be formally inducted and introduced to the other members. Show if you want to join. In the meantime, I give you a list of ranks for you to pursue at your leisure.[/i]
[i] NOOB; A newbie to the group. How many: Too many to put on this paper.[/i]
[i] TUNNELCRACKER: The next level up. How many: Still too many.[/i]
[i] NOVICE EXPLORER: The third level. How many: About ten currently.[/i]
[i] EXPLORER: The fourth level. How many: Maybe seven? They are usually up to their own thing, and don’t show up to the meetings much.[/i]
[i] Passage Finder: Highest rank. How many: Three. Me, Evergreen, and Nightwind. You’ll meet him soon. [/i]
[i] Peace,[/i]
[i] Avalanche.[/i]

“Ha! That’s pretty funny.” Even as those words came out of her mouth, Silverthorn was planning on how to escape tonight for the meeting.

She tried to get through her classes quickly as possible, and ran to pick up Flamethrower. It was three o clock.

“What time are we supposed to be there anyway?” Flamethrower asked.

“Thirty minutes time. C’mon, run!” Silverthorn dashed off to Corridor Twelve.

When she reached it, Flamethrower huffing and puffing behind her, she smiled. It was 3:25.

“Five minutes until ‘history’ happens…” Flamethrower muttered.

The minutes passed slow as snails, and when three-thirty arrived, nothing happened.

“Huh? Where is he?” Silverthorn said.

Flamethrower was about to throw in the towel when Avalanche tore down the corridor, arms pumping and going fast as possible.

“Nice to bump into you guys!” He yelled. He had a look of glee on his face, like he had just stolen…

“No freaking way.” Flamethrower said, jaw dropping. “NO FREAKING WAY!”

“Yes freaking way, he has MASTERS TEDDY BEAR!” Silverthorn collapsed with laughter as Master almost flew down the hall in pursuit of Avalanche.

“Get back here you pathetic excuse for a dragon! I’ll have you expelled for this you soft-scaled bastard!” As Masters oaths got more and more colorful, Flamethrower and Silverthorn picked themselves up off the floor and slowly walked away, giggling the whole time.

“Daaamn. Avalanche has guts!” Silverthorn said.

“You know that’s right! It’s the dream of every dragon to snag his teddy bear. He has a freaking fetish for it.” Flamethrower told her.

“Why am I not surprised?”

…

The story was kept secret, so of course it was all over the school within a matter of hours. Avalanche had become even more of a celebrity, and people were talking about getting a statue of him on the school grounds. No matter how much people pressed him, he wouldn’t tell where he had hidden the teddy. Although, it soon got out that he didn’t know, because he handed it off to Evergreen. Evergreen was threatened with expulsion, but he still didn’t budge. “They can’t expel me, cus then they’ll never find out where it is!” He said.

As Master got increasingly nervous, he resolved to shut himself in his office until he got the bear back. Not only did this cause problems, it saved him from mocking. So he got both ends of the deal.

Nightwind, as it turned out, figured out how to take it in the first place and didn’t tell anyone how.

Silverthorns life just got a little more interesting, as she decided that night to join the Arks. She put her letter and map in a bag, and got ready to go.
[/spoiler][/spoiler]

[Alice Moonflowyr]

Nobody?

[Alice Moonflowyr]

Bumpity Bump.

[AsianGuy1137]

Well it's a little too soon to judge this fanfic, but so far, there doesn't seem to be too much appeal for people to read it. Most good fanfics start out with an interesting story or just fast-paced action to captivate the reader's attention followed by a duel of some kind for the YuGiOh aspect. I personally think the intro seems a little rushed with almost little to no exposition to setup the story while the main plotline seems to unfold without giving the reader much of a reason to care for the characters. Maybe a little introspective narration to at least introduce the characters will help.

[Alice Moonflowyr]

Hmmm....what do you mean 'introspective'?

[Alice Moonflowyr]

Next chapter is up, if anyone cares.

[Alice Moonflowyr]

*sigh* bump.

[Alice Moonflowyr]

BUUUUMP!

[Reinforce]

They sound interesting enough to me, you keep posting them and I'll keep reading them when I have time. I don't review the stories I read though so don't expect a review from me about them.

[Alice Moonflowyr]

Awwww....But I like reviews! At least tell me what you think about them! :/

[Reinforce]

They are ok stories, not the best I've ever read but not too bad either, and I like the yugioh one better than the dragon one.

[Catterjune]

Do the two stories combine into one big overly long narrative that is enriched because it has two seperate parts, creating one story that is greater than the sum of it's parts? If not... why are they in the same topic?

... I'll read it later, maybe.

[Alice Moonflowyr]

I figured I'd stick em all in the same topic so if people feel like it, they can read both without a whole lot of page changing/loading.

HERO Towers is a ygo fic obviously, whereas LAMDS is original, and based off of a game a friend and I used to play.

[Alice Moonflowyr]

Still updating this. Even though I only have *checks* one, possibly two, readers.

*sigh* Figures that no one gives a f***.

[Alice Moonflowyr]

Bump.

[Alice Moonflowyr]

STILL BUMPING.

Five chapters total. Still writing. Even though I have NO F***ING READERS.

Hows that for dedication YCM?

[Darth Revan of the Sith]

I couldn't understand the YGO one sorry.

As for the Dragon one I was thoroughly pleased with the intricate universe you placed with the dragons. However I felt the plot was rushed and albeit campy. Not to mention afew grammatical errors but no biggy. In general I love the monster school genre and the way you presented it was downright interesting. I will be following this topic when you make more dragon chapters

[Alice Moonflowyr]

[quote name='Cronus' timestamp='1332037207' post='5875972']
I couldn't understand the YGO one sorry.

As for the Dragon one I was thoroughly pleased with the intricate universe you placed with the dragons. However I felt the plot was rushed and albeit campy. Not to mention afew grammatical errors but no biggy. In general I love the monster school genre and the way you presented it was downright interesting. I will be following this topic when you make more dragon chapters
[/quote]Actually, it isnt rushed. The main plot has yet to be revealed.

Why couldnt you understand the YGO one?

[Darth Revan of the Sith]

[quote name='Dworkin' timestamp='1332037334' post='5875978']
Actually, it isnt rushed. The main plot has yet to be revealed.

Why couldnt you understand the YGO one?
[/quote]
I don't know much about YGO anymore

[Alice Moonflowyr]

Oh. It doesnt really hinder it that much does it? My MOM can understand it and she don know jack about YGO.

Added next LaMDS chapter!

[Darth Revan of the Sith]

NO! NOT MASTERS TEDDY! D:

[Alice Moonflowyr]

[quote name='Cronus' timestamp='1332041425' post='5876139']
NO! NOT MASTERS TEDDY! D:
[/quote]XD I assume the chapter was to your liking?

[Bahamut - Envoy of the End]

Okay, so I've read the opening two chapters of both:

Hero Towers

- The Heroes don't seem very... heroic. In fact a lot of them are acting like a bunch of tools a lot. Fine different characters need different personality but some of them, well if I were Neos I must have been pretty desperate to hire them. Every time anyone speaks, I find them annoying.

Dragon School

- It's all very lovey duvey and not a lot is really happening, other than some new girl dragon discovering she's the new Hermione Granger.

Sorry, I'm not overly excited by either

[Alice Moonflowyr]

[quote name='Verz Bahamut' timestamp='1332359873' post='5882467']
Okay, so I've read the opening two chapters of both:

Hero Towers

- The Heroes don't seem very... heroic. In fact a lot of them are acting like a bunch of tools a lot. Fine different characters need different personality but some of them, well if I were Neos I must have been pretty desperate to hire them. Every time anyone speaks, I find them annoying. [b]I'm not gonna have ALL of them be a stereotypical Hero-dood. No. But this story is supposed to be comedy in the beginning, and gets more serious later on. Chap. 3 shows Stratos being heroic, and Chap. 4 when I post it will show him being a badass. And the HEROs are going to go help a nation that is about to be crushed, even though they dont technically HAVE too. I'd say thats pretty darn heroic.[/b]

Dragon School

- It's all very lovey duvey and not a lot is really happening, other than some new girl dragon discovering she's the new Hermione Granger.
[b]Hermione Granger. Thats the comparison. She's just rather talented thats all. As for not a lot happening, that changes soon enough. The first couple chapters are explaining/introducing characters. Along with some side-plots and comedy. [/b]
Sorry, I'm not overly excited by either [b]Ah, well. Cant please everyone. But if you keep reading, I hope you change your opinion when you read the next chapters for them. If you only read the opening 2, then you arent gonna get much out of em. :3[/b]
[/quote]

[Catterjune]

The way I "review" stories is by summarizing a story and then random unorganized thoughts afterwards.

The point of summarizing a story is for the writer to understand what I, as a reader, understood or took away from the story. If something is said that goes against his intended idea, the writer should not go about trying to save face or explain it away. Rather, they should edit their fic, eliminate portions that emphasize a less desireable trait, and emphasize a more desireable one.

If I make talk about myself for a second because I'm such an egotistical ass, when I wrote my own story I was told that sidekick character of Lucas Prescott seemed to be far too stupid and useless in comparison to the cold and calculating Catherine Gibbs. This was mostly due to her backhanded compliments and often insults on him, as well as his general ineptitude. I decided to tone down on the insults as well as make the character less childish.

But enough about me, let's get to the story:

Hero Towers

Chapter 1:
So we're introduced to some surly guy, most likely an Elemental Hero. I'm assuming he's E-Hero Stratos, because he's called 'Flyboy' and there was already an E-Hero Avian. Stratos seems to come across as rude and rather crass, ready to cut straight to the point.

I like the way Stratos speaks. The colloquial diction as opposed to making thing boring, like he's speaking out a text book. I mean, it doesn't arise organically but it's better then the alternative of being boring as hell or having Neos and Stratos(?) break character by discussing this solely for the benefit of the audience.

So yeah, Stratos is summoned to Neos's office and told the X-Sabers and the Dragunity's have teamed up to take down the Ice Barriers. He's then told to go to visit the Six Samurai's (I assume?!) to help them reinforce the Ice Barrier.

The first major annoyance I see is the dialogue. I mean, it reads like a play written by someone who insisted his work not be turned into a play. Dialogue is interesting and all, somewhat, but at least a faint bit of... IDK. The story seems a tad rushed. Not that the story is moving too quickly, but that it seemed you had a deadline to push this story out or something for some reason so you hurried to present a half-formed story. I don't suggest you put "said Neos" "I said" after every few line of dialogue, but maybe show what they're doing, or maybe show a tone to their voice as they speak? "He spoke, emphasizing every word as though I were deaf or something". Stuff like that.

So then we get a scene break, and we're with the X-Sabers I assume. Ragigura tells him the bad news, that the E-Heroes are onto their scheme (I'm guessing?) and X-Saber Souza is enraged.

It's a weird as hell scene though. For the entire first half of the chapter we're in first person, in Stratos's head and then we suddenly dive into third person for the X-Saber's camp. It just seems needlessly weird. Why suddenly switch perspectives, then switch back? I mean, it's not an unheard of thing or anything, it's just needlessly weird. Either omit the scene and portray it some other way or change the whole thing to third person.

So then Stratos continues exactly where we left off, and it's further confirmed he's Stratos. He flies off to his next adventure and the chapter ends.

Chapter 2:

So Stratos continues flying off towards Six Samurai-ville, and then we cut to Avian and Burstinatrix.

... Like I said earlier, sudden shifts in perspective are weird and sloppy. I don't think I further need to emphasize it, but whatever. Avian and Burstinatrix are going to meet with Neos, which is weird because Avian's the one who told Stratos to go for a meeting in the first place.

So the real E-Heroes get to work without Stratos around and have their meeting. I assumed they did it without Stratos because Stratos is a dumb retarded person, but it seems Avian is equally as childlike and un-serious as Stratos so what the hell?

The more I think about the scene the more confused I get. It seems Neos is (one of?) their leader(s?), so it seems weird he'd send the reckless and carefree Stratos for a mission of such importance. The other E-Hero fusions were also sent off to find allies too, but why Stratos?

"There's an asteroid headed towards Earth, so we've assembled a crack team of the best superheroes to stop it. Superman, Batman, Wonderwoman, Green Lantern. Oh and Bob the Janitor. Alright, let's do this." It just seems stupid as hell to trust the biggest, dumbest, least responsible idiot in the room to go on the hardest and most important mission.

So anyway, then we cut to the Dragunity and the X-Sabers. Dragunities are pissed that X-Sabers let the cat out of the bag. Seems like a weird scene though. Chastizing your allies is a surefire way to lower morale, and lowered morale is the last thing you want to do if you want to win a war. In any case, putting aside the whole "how did they find out?" question for right now, what exactly was the Dragunity's Plan? Team up with X-Sabers and take down Ice Barriers. So now... what is there plan? Continue with plan A? Then why were they complaining? I figured there'd be some kind of last second strategy switch. "Since the E-Heroes are off looking for allies, now would be the perfect time to attack Skyscraper 2 - Hero City." Or maybe some kind of hidden truce, like... they let the X-Sabers charge in to Ice Barrier and get slaugtered by the E-Heroes, Ice Barriers, and Six Samurai, and while they're distracted they send their best men from Team Dragunity to take over Castle of Mist and Hero City. I mean, yeah your plans got leaked, but better to find out a day in advance then... on the battlefield.

Chapter Three:

So Stratos finally arrives at... a town as opposed to Shien's Castle of Mist like he was supposed to? Whatever. He meets an old man who tells him that the Dark Scorpions are ruining things in town. Stratos and the old man leave to get Stratos's wings refueled or something? Then they go back to the bar for some reason. Whole scene just seems stupid and unnecessary. Go to a bar, go to a Genex station or w/e, go back to the bar. Just seems like a waste of a scene to have Stratos need a battery recharge, go somewhere, then go back to exactly where he just was 4 sentences earlier. I know you're trying to play it like it's all mysterious or something, but you could have just revealed Kagemushu as a Six Samurai guy and then have he and Stratos reach an agreement. You know.. move the plot forward?

So anyway, then we cut to the Ice Barrier monsters and they're forming up their own plan to contact the Gishiki and Deepsea King or w/e his name is. And that's weel get before another scene jump.

Now we're at Don Zaloog's camp, and Don and Gorg are talking about something. Meanae the Thorn or w/e is doing something to someone. Gorg reminds Zaloog that even though he won't be hurting anyone today, he'll get to murder people tomorrow.


And... that's about it?

Random Unorganize thoughts:

- Switching from first person to third person is really, really bad. I mean... usually. The outside scenes don't really add much to the main story of Stratos's journey to see the Six Samurai. They don't contribute to the plot, and you can read much of the first 3 chapters completely ignoring the not-Stratos scenes.
- The dialogue, as said earlier, feels like a play from a guy who specifically went out of his way not to make a play, but didn't know the finer points of how to tell a story.
- Most of the "characters" (other then Stratos) are completely devoid of... well, character. I say this a little too often, but in one of my favourite reviews of anything, ever, that Plinkett guy doing his review of Star Wars Episode 1, he asks some people to "Describe a character without saying what they wore or what their role in the movie was. Decribe them to your friends like they aint never seen Star Wars." (Paraphrasing). So for stuff like Han Solo, they got stuff like "he's suave and a charmer and a lady's man, a loveable rogue" and for C3PO they said stuff like "he's prissy, uptight, effeminate" and so on, yet for Qui Gon Jinn and Queen Amadala they all just completel drew a blank. But basically yeah. If you find at the end of a story your readers can't describe a character, that character probably had a really bland and/or non-existant personality. And like... Burstinatrix, Neos, and a bunch of other people here seem to have absolutely nothing in terms of personality, or very little. The only one who does is Stratos.



Life at Master's Dragon School

Chapter One - Silverthorn:

I know this was written in 2009, but I'm completely imagining this as a My Little Pony-style fanfic, replacing Ponies with Dragons. And this is coming from someone who's only realy seen two episodes of Friendship is Magic (the first two).

So anyway, we meet Silverthorn who seems a tad intimidated by all this. She stutters from time to time when speaking, and is apparently an ice dragon. She goes to a school to... learn to be a Dragon I guess? I dunno. Seems like MLP + Harry Potter, replacing all the characters with Dragons and, presumably, removing all elements of plot. A "slice of life" style story, but removing most of the things that make a story, conflict, resolution, climax.

So anyway, they're in class now and they breathe... whatever they breathe. Water, Fire, Air and Dirt. Fuckin' magnets. But anyway, then the dragons become friends. Okay.

... So anyway, in our first chapter... nothing really happens. Then we go on to violate "show, dont tell" by just flatly stating that all the not-adult Dragons become friends. Whatever.

Chapter 2: Another day, another class. And a tip-off, some whispering, and an unknown scheme:

So anyway, now Silverthorn, Applejack and Rainbow Dash are in Evocation class, where they learn how to do magic to summon stuff. This is somehow different from Mouth Magic where they learn how to do magic to summon stuff. Anyway, Twilght Silverthorn learns that she's a Crystal Ice Dragon, meaning she can summon Crystals as well as Ice. She proceeds to do exactly this.

Later on, we find out some asshole named Evergreen has been missing, which is weird because we (as an audience) haven't even met him yet so why should we care? So the story continues and Silverthorne's getting food when Avalanche tells her he'll tell her a story, just not right now.

Avalanches little bit of History:

So Twilight Sparkle finds the Chamber of Secrets, and is then caught by Pinkie Pie. Avalanche tells Silverthorn he's aware that she opened the Chamber of Secrets because... well IDK. Apparently he operates a club called the Arks which are a bunch of dragons who explore the secret passageways of the school. They're broken into 5 ranks, assuming that each rank is better then the other. So anyway, he figures out Silver did it because I don't know why. Why not assume one of the Arks did it? After all, there's apparently "too many to list", and the largest group that does have numbers is 'about ten', so logically that means the other two groups are at least 11. 11, 11, 10, 7, and 3. That's at least 42 people who knew about secret passages in the school. Why not assume one of them did it? Just seems like a dumb thing to assume.

So anyway, Twilight Thorn is now an official member of Ark... or something? Then the headmaster/principal's teddy bear gets stolen. The end.

Random Unorganized thoughts:

- This story seemed to have the exact opposite of a problem as the first one. Hero Tower has a decent-ish premise and an okay-ish story/plot thing, but terrible characters. Meanwhile, Master Dragon School has passable-ish characters but a shitty story/plot. Nothing interesting is happening, and the few things that do seem kind of interesting are glossed over. I mean, I gloss over details myself when writing, but that's usually because I'm focusing on a story. Here... I don't know what the focus is.
- The few semblances of a plot seem to be very hastily put together. Like... you introduce a character in one sentence and never get back to him, Evergreen. He's apparently someone within Silverthorn's circle of friends but all we know is that he exists.
- Overall the story and the characters were terrible. Like I said earlier, there's no plot, blatant violation of "show don't tell", and it's just terrible put together. The characters are bland, but not overtly bland in that I could at least attribute something to their name. Silverthorn = New Girl. Master = Wise, older, teacher dragon. Avalanche = Asshole Prankster. Flamethrower = Some kind of jerk or something. On the other hand, all I can say about the Dragunities or Ice Barriers is that they exist and that's about it.

tl;dr - They're both bad stories, but bad for different reasons. If I had to choose, I'd say Master Dragon is significantly worse then Hero Tower, but that's like saying I'd rather swallow a handful of (metal) nails instead of a handful of [i]rusty[/i] metal nails.