Encalade Shinamisu Posted April 18, 2009 Report Share Posted April 18, 2009 So, I hath made the RP for it, but it was off track easy, and some poeple who's name i'd like to not mention completely overpowered my storyline and beat the train off the rails... So I'll make a Fan Fic, as my inspiration for this story was the discovery of just how majestic the wolf really is... And now, the prologue to my early storyline...[spoiler=Prologue]~I never thought I'd grow to be older than a millenia considering the death rates of this war. I never thought I'd lose everything I loved, everything I was given, and lose my own family. I am the last of my family. The last of the purest blood of the werewolf now. My mother assaulted after becoming very ill, of old age. She had to die eventually, even immortals fall. She died of unknown reasons, when she fell during battle, at the age of twelve millenia, and 4.8 centuries... The last thing she saw, was the last of her twelve children. I was the fourth youngest in the royal clan. My mother was the first werewolf to live, and she watched over the race for millenia and kept us safe. She had many children with one human, one she loved very much, but his life even as a werewolf was not long because he wasn't born wolf. My brothers and my sisters died as an attempt to assassinate the royal family and turn the heirarchy and race into chaos and war for control. That way most of us will all die off before we fight them, leaving our numbers decimated. I figured it out before the attempt on my mother. I still feel a pain in my heart that I should have saved her and the kingdom, that it's all my fault. My mother said to me once, "You'd make a great leader of the clan. You have strength, courage, and knowledge..." I replied, "No mother, do not speak of such. You will not die, you will continue to live and save our kind." The Vampires attacked days afterwards. Biological experiments. The Ultimate Weapon. The Perfect Human. The alledged "Top of the Food Chain". They destroyed my siblings one by one, and now only Lord Mineku remains. I am the last of the first blood. But my mom was wrong about one thing... I am not Courageous. I ran away right after my mother fell, and the Vampire's screams after being surprised by our Imperial Army Flood strategy could be heard around the forest of Death. I ran there, and planned to... In fact I had no plan, I was just afraid... I do not deserve the name of Werewolf... [spoiler=Death of A Goddess]The Palace was a place of great treasures and was equal in it's mysteries. The palace was created by converted laborers conquered by the Mother Wolf. These converted laborers were weak compared to her might, and created a palace that went underground. It was the undersided Pyramid, and it stretched far into the ground. The palace was located at the edge of Canada, where peace remained. In recent times, they used heat from the lower depths of the earth to create electricity for the palace. It was a secret, and people only of blood and royalty and nobility entered. Someone leaked. A group of twelve vampires sneaked in, while the guards tried to defend the palace, they slipped right through their giant paws. The Vampires climbed in and descended down 12 levels. There, only the Mother and Mineku stayed and their Imperial Guards. Mineku awoke with the coming of their footsteps, as he was almost to wake. He stopped waking around the sametime his mother was awake. He grew distant from her since their last argument. He was the last heir, and he din't want it so. The Vampires hit his room first, and three attacked his guards. It was a three on three match, but he knew the odds were stacked in his favor. He jumped up out of his quarters without converting to his berserker stage, where he was truly a humanoid wolf. For now, he remained mostly wolf and leapt towards his attackers, as did his guards. The guards were strong, but one was hit full blast by a fire blast, emitted from the mind of one of the assassins. Mineku's first target was the same one, as he side-stepped to dodge spear stabs by the guard. Mineku ran towards them at high speed, letting a claw out to gut the vampire. He paced around the second vampire and grabbed it by the legs, tearing both off with success. The third tried a fire blast at him which he swept down mith a massive claw and let a roar rip. In those moments he thought about the nine other presences he detected. He took too much time thinking. The vampire's rose again, putting themselves together with ease. They felt no pain unless it was caused by heat. The third remained on the ground in a mess, bones shattered and so. It would take him a while to be put back together. Mineku's guard layed on the ground, throat ripped right out. Unfortunately, werewolves don't get back up after vital organ removal. In minutes, it seemed like the world stopped. He heard the cries of several vampires in pain. They were trying to put there minds together to create a pressure field and wipe the mother from existence. Mineku was interrupted in his mind spirit by the heavy punch of one of his assassins. "Whatever you are hear for, you won't get it. My mother will not die..."Mineku blurted out unconvincingly. He knew of her sickness. He felt weak with guilt as his mother let her Alpha roar out, a weapon that shook the palace. This must have seemed like an earthquake on the surface. Mineku packed his Alpha roar also, half the power of his mother's but powerful nonetheless. He ran past the parallel piles of ash and reached into the throne room. There his mother lay, after exerting much power, she died of unknown reasons... The remaining four survivors let their cold chill at Mineku, who dashed to one side and breathed fire into their vision... The vampires wailed in surprise as his backup of guards arrived, in what took 2 minutes and 48 seconds. The vampires burned to a giant ash pile... [spoiler=Forest Of Death][spoiler=Mineku's view]It was about twenty four hours after my mother's death that they buried her. The guards of the palace never planned on burying her. I never thought she would die so easily. There was no grand burial. No seven day rites. No notification to the rest of the race that their leader was dead. She was simply put on the very bottom room at the tip of the palace, where the palace stretched farthest into the earth. Mineku left after speaking to her carcass as if she were alive. He had no tears for her, only guilt and slight woe. He ascended up throughout the palace and left, while the guards found a way to make it seem like she was still alive. This would not last long, because on the next full moon, the wolves of all the lands would recieve pain like never before, the pain of her spirit. Mineku walked out unnoticed, as he made the excuse that he needed to attend a meeting, not like he ever really did anyways. The guards and keepers of the palace did not know, that he was never going to return. He sped off into the night, into the largest plot of natural land that he could. Nature's curse, the Forest of Death. The forest was so vast, no human took the time to map it, only few werewolves who kept these in palace archives. Upon entering the forest, Mineku could detect presences. None he knew before, none he recognized. They smelled of sweet burning flesh as most vampires do, but one of them had a different smell. They didn't fit in. They were distant from the others. But they also seemed to have power in the group. Mineku was interested by others he has not met, but he continued on without stop. His heart was to heavy for socialization. He continued to dig up forest earth as he ran at a low speed. He took in the features of the forest drenched in moonlight. Tree ensued upon life, creatures doing what they could to survive. The ground below taking hits from his claws and the soft reflection of the moonlight from the ground and around. Life observed him also, as if it knew what he truly was and what he was really like, like they knew him since birth. He wished so, that there was something to speak to, somebody who he could console in. Then, he heard soft thumping noises. The smell hit him again, and it caused him to speed forward. But, he wasn't thinking right. He couldn't concentrate. He was taking way too much in. His mind was full of thoughts. Heavy thumping now. Something was catching up with him, but his body told him to move slower. He wanted to run, but had no will to do so. Then it hit him. The unique smell was his last thought, as he was hit by something extremely heavy. It would have broken all the bones int his body had he not been 1248 years... His body could take the blow, but a series of others followed. He wasn't being killed, because they could have dissected him by now. What were they doing? His eyes saw nothing but flashes of the same beatiful forest he loved, and then all black...[/spolier] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nexev Posted April 18, 2009 Report Share Posted April 18, 2009 Awesome, does Roscuro appear, he is one of the cooler characters in my opinion, he is a arcane vampire after all. Maybe he should be the first antagonist as he is a vampire. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Encalade Shinamisu Posted April 18, 2009 Author Report Share Posted April 18, 2009 How do you rate it so? And Roscuro will appear, I shall use the name, but he will be based on your personality. If anyone wants me to include a name for their character and make a personality, just post here. I can make room for more people involved. This series is going to be with a science twist, a magic twist, and political twist, you'll see the politics soon... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nexev Posted April 18, 2009 Report Share Posted April 18, 2009 I'll give it a 7/10 until an actual chapter shows up (where it will no doubt go up), right now it has a good premises but I can make pages of those and when I get to the actual story I draw a total blank. You might be simaller so I will wait to see if you can mantain your fanfics awesomenss to continue. Why it's rated highly is because your character shows doubt, as long as this doesn't go overboard it leads to major character development, you are actually developing your character Before you even start. Also it is pretty detailed and the story is easy to understand, an important thing in the beginning. If you need help you know who to pm (and no it's not Zexaeon, he's busy with the YCManga). In case your wondering I'm referring to me. Regardless pm me a base plot and I can add some characters for it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Encalade Shinamisu Posted April 18, 2009 Author Report Share Posted April 18, 2009 Thanx... ^_^I had the whole story in mind already, but I'll PM you a summary of it. I just decided to do it because this is the one thing I haven't done on YCM yet... =/ So now I'm just trying this out, because my teachers say I have a creative mind, it's just that I'm extremely lazy... So I'm using this site as a motivation... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nexev Posted April 18, 2009 Report Share Posted April 18, 2009 Simillar story here but I'm less lazy and more unable to complete my stories. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phantom Roxas Posted April 18, 2009 Report Share Posted April 18, 2009 It's not bad; a couple cliche's here and there, but if it's a Werewolf vs. Vampire Fanfic, I'll be looking forward to more. Some names would have been nice aside from Lord Mineku. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Encalade Shinamisu Posted April 18, 2009 Author Report Share Posted April 18, 2009 Of course, later plot, except the mother, her name is lost to time... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Encalade Shinamisu Posted April 18, 2009 Author Report Share Posted April 18, 2009 Update! Ch 1 release! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Encalade Shinamisu Posted April 18, 2009 Author Report Share Posted April 18, 2009 Update! Ch 1 release! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Encalade Shinamisu Posted April 18, 2009 Author Report Share Posted April 18, 2009 Update! Ch 1 release! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davok Posted April 19, 2009 Report Share Posted April 19, 2009 The palace was located at the edge of Canada Win. xD Anyway, it's good, but the formatting could still be better. Also, the pauses in order to explain information in between action disrupts the flow of the story. Unveil your information at later points in the story, don't tell your reader everything at once in a battle scene. It draws the focus away from the actual battle itself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Encalade Shinamisu Posted April 19, 2009 Author Report Share Posted April 19, 2009 k. thanks... Always the great writer Davok. Now only if you can stopp the curse of the block... ^_^And Canada is win. The most peaceful country on earth... XD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davok Posted April 19, 2009 Report Share Posted April 19, 2009 k. thanks... Always the great writer Davok. Now only if you can stopp the curse of the block... ^_^And Canada is win. The most peaceful country on earth... XD Not exactly, since it still sends guys to the war in Afghanistan, but mostly just as peacekeepers. ^_^ Anyway, can't wait to see more. It seems like an interesting story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Encalade Shinamisu Posted April 19, 2009 Author Report Share Posted April 19, 2009 It'll be up tommorrow. I try to do this daily now, but after monday, I'll be in jamaica till friday. Then I'll be full of energy. Unless I decide to write on my itouch [way too much time to type...] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nexev Posted April 19, 2009 Report Share Posted April 19, 2009 Isn't ironic that the most peaceful place that isn't Switzerland is the home of a bloodthirsty war with beings from our nightmares? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Encalade Shinamisu Posted April 19, 2009 Author Report Share Posted April 19, 2009 whatever, Canada=win. Nuff said. Now I need more people to read this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Encalade Shinamisu Posted April 19, 2009 Author Report Share Posted April 19, 2009 Forest of Death Chapter is up! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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