sanderman Posted March 31, 2010 Report Share Posted March 31, 2010 June Tenshiko and her best friend Rei Feue are dueling a top tag-team pair of duelists, Atlassor Jain and Cronei Timue for the last entry tickets for the legendary MIRROR TOURNAMENT, their opponent currently haves 1900 lifepoints. June and Rei have 3600 lifepoints, so are currently closest to victory! But Atlassor Jain has set up a dangerous combo: He's using the continous spell card Rising Stalagmites, a card that stops the opponent from activating trap cards during the battle phases at the cost for removing 1 Rock-type monster from his field every end phase of his turn!And to maximize the power of that card, he is using Rock Mage, A Level 4 Earth rock monster with a terryfining ability: When a Rock-type monster is removed from play, he ables Atlassor to special summon a Rock-type monster with the same level from his hand or deck! So every of his and Cronei's end phases, he removes a Rock-type monster from the field and special summon a new one from his deck!!He also has Possesed Statue on his field, A LV 6 DARK rock monster with the ability of being the only attackable monster. And that's not all!! On Cronei's field, a gigantic dark time gate is standing, also known as Cronos Cursed Time Gate, a card that can special summon 1 monster from your hand if you don't control any yet! But an even more scary side of that card is that it gains a Cronos Counter every standby-phase! He also has a face-down card and 2 monsters: Timeless mage (1700), and Cronos descendant (1600) two normal dark monsters.Rei only has a Face-down and June has both a monster,Whitewing - Shine The Golden Shield DEF 1800 in defence mode,and a face-down!! It's time for June's Turn!!I'llDraw!! did June yelled passionantly, and her next draw be better a good one! Because their opponents are getting ahead!Cronei laughed disrespectful at her and told her about the third Cronos counter on his Cronos Cursed Time Gate. But i'm not going to get distracted by his dirtytalk! I think i'll get the help of an angel, an angel with lance and shield!!"I Summon Whitewing - Arush The Blue Star in attack mode (Whitewing - Arush the Blue Star ATK 1800 Def 1200 LV 4 Light fairy. Effect: When this card destroys a monster by battle, you can special summon 1 "Whitewing" monster with 1500 ATK or less from your deck. It cannot attack this turn.)Next i'll tune my level 2 Whitewing - Shine the Golden Shield with my level 4 Whitewing - Arush the blue star!! (LV4 + LV2= LV6) WHEN THE SKY IS TEARED APART BY ROARING THUNDER,THE WINGS OF GOLD WILL APPEAR! GET READY, ARMED WITH LANCE AND SHIELD, WHITEWING - SYLVIA THE LIGHTENING LANCE!! (Whitewing - Sylvia The Lightening Lance ATK 2500 DEF 1900 LV6 Light fairy. Synchro/effect: When this card destroys an opponents monster by battle, inflict the difference between this card ATK and the destroyed Monsters DEF to your opponent)Sylvia looked like an angel valkyrie with a long, shiny lance and a Silver, mirrorshield! Her wings are shiny and silver! her long dress moved in the "wind" of the duel. "I'll Attack your Possesed Statue then!!THUNDER SPEAR THURST!Sylvia charged towards the statue of a young woman where an evil spirit is whirling around an taunting June and Rei! "You wish!" Yelled an confident Atlassor! I'm removing the Guardian Statue" from my hand and activating his effect! (Guardian Statue ATK 0 DEF 0Lv 1 EARTH Rock. effect: When a face-up Rock-type monster is attacked, you can remove this card from your hand from play to negate the attack.) Before June's Whitewing Sylvia's Attack broke through, a stone statue rose from the ground and blocked her attack!"Oh no! and now the ability of your "Rock Mage" activates!!" yelled a shocked Rei!"Yes myladies!" answered Atlassor with an arrogant smile on his face!"So with the ability of rock mage, i special summon "Rockfall Golem" in attack mode!(Rockfall Golem ATK 400 DEF 400 LV1 EARTH Rock monster. effect: When this card is special summoned, infict 1000 points of damage to your opponent.) ROCKFALL FISSURE QUAKE!!!!(LP Rei and June 2600)"I End my turn..." said June silent! "They are countering all our moves perfectly, and they are just waiting to get enough Cronos Counters, they may be arrogant and disrespectfull, but they're great duelist" is June thinking.Cronei put his hand on deck and closes his eyes. He then slowly draws the top card! DRaw!! His eyes slowely glided to his drawn card, and he smiled:" First, my Gate gains its fourth counter, second i summon "Time-ring Ghost" in attack mode! (Time-ring Ghost ATK 1500 DEF 2000 LV4 DARK fIend. Normal monster.)"Now's the time to activate my trap card: Cronos familair magic ( Cronos familiar magic normal trap card: Tribute any number of normal monsters, then for each monster tributed, put 1 Cronos Counter on a face-up Cronos Cursed Time Gate.)"I tribute my 3 monsters and place 3 Cronos Counters on my gate! (7 counters on Cronos Cursed Time Gate)Rei looked bravely at the time gate, but realised that Cronei is going to do something amazing with it!" Now i'm removing 7 counters from my gate and activating its effect!! I special summon "Cronos, The Time Ruler" from my hand, deck or graveyard!! Oh GOD OF TIME, FOLLOW THE SHINING PATH LAYED FOR YOU, MAKE YOUR WAY TO THIS DUEL, SO THAT TOGETHER WE MAY WIN!! TIME GATE OPEN! COME FORTH CRONOS, THE TIME RULER!!!Suddenly, the seven stones in the door started shining, while it slowely opened, a gigantic being came out of it! (Cronos, The Time Ruler ATK 3300 DEF 3300 LV 10 DARK Fiend. effect: This card cannot be normal summoned or set, this card cannot be special summoned exect by Cronos Cursed Time Gate. During each players Main Phase 1, you can remove 1 normal monster from your Graveyard from play, if you do your opponent cannot activate the effects of monster cards and all his/her monsters effects are negated. During your end phase, destroy this card if you don't have a face-up Cronos Cursed Time Gate on your side of the field.)Cronos was a gigantic demon-mage-human-god creature, and Cronei's ace monster! Cronei's happiness was very easy to see, he was so happy that he got his ace monster to the field."Now i'll use the special ability of Cronos, i remove Timeless Mage from my graveyard, so all your monster effects are blocked!"BEWITCHED TIME SEAL!!Cronei was also a very clever duelist! He knew that Whitewing - Shine the Golden shield, a monster in June's graveyard, could protect a monster from being destroyed by removing it from play! But thanks to Cronos, that Strategy failed!"Now Cronos, Time to deal some damage! Attack Sylvia with TIME FREEZE SHATTER!!!!!!!(LP June and Rei 1800)"I end my turn with that!" did Cronei said with his overconfident smile. Will Rei turn this duel around?? Read it next time in YUGIOH FANFIC, REVENGE OF THE MIRROR DUELISTS! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Des ＨＥＲＯ Posted March 31, 2010 Report Share Posted March 31, 2010 The thing is you still need to have all the chapters or parts as you say into ONE THREAD! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sanderman Posted March 31, 2010 Author Report Share Posted March 31, 2010 The thing is you still need to have all the chapters or parts as you say into ONE THREAD! i made one!! please read and rate!! XDhttp://forum.yugiohcardmaker.net/thread-196699.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weather Report - Stand Posted March 31, 2010 Report Share Posted March 31, 2010 I don't care HOW many chapters you link to in one thread, YOU NEED TO STOP MAKING EXTRA TOPICS FOR THIS HORRIBLE-LOOKING STORY AND POST IT ALL IN ONE THREAD. THEN YOU ASK SOME NICE ADMINS TO DELETE YOUR PREVIOUS TOPICS. Just look at some of those stories with 40+ chapters and see how they do it! And by the way, I'll probably really read your story after I stop seeing constant spelling and grammatical errors. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sanderman Posted April 1, 2010 Author Report Share Posted April 1, 2010 I don't care HOW many chapters you link to in one thread' date=' YOU NEED TO STOP MAKING EXTRA TOPICS FOR THIS HORRIBLE-LOOKING STORY AND POST IT ALL IN ONE THREAD. THEN YOU ASK SOME NICE ADMINS TO DELETE YOUR PREVIOUS TOPICS. Just look at some of those stories with 40+ chapters and see how they do it! And by the way, I'll probably really read your story after I stop seeing constant spelling and grammatical errors.[/quote']Man you are really a nice person!first of all 1 am new to Card Maker and second for the grammatical errors, english is not my usual talking/writing language! And if you see an error, just tell it and ill fix it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Des ＨＥＲＯ Posted April 1, 2010 Report Share Posted April 1, 2010 Not what I was meaning.What I was saying was all the story in one thread,you can even have spoilers in it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sanderman Posted April 1, 2010 Author Report Share Posted April 1, 2010 Not what I was meaning.What I was saying was all the story in one thread' date='you can even have spoilers in it.[/quote']Oh thats wat you mean, im sorry!(im new to all of this) so i type whole my story in one part?? But i don't know how to copy/paste on apple computer... (im using my new apple computer for all of this...) I'l try to do it!! thanks for helping me!!XD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weather Report - Stand Posted April 2, 2010 Report Share Posted April 2, 2010 I don't care HOW many chapters you link to in one thread' date=' YOU NEED TO STOP MAKING EXTRA TOPICS FOR THIS HORRIBLE-LOOKING STORY AND POST IT ALL IN ONE THREAD. THEN YOU ASK SOME NICE ADMINS TO DELETE YOUR PREVIOUS TOPICS. Just look at some of those stories with 40+ chapters and see how they do it! And by the way, I'll probably really read your story after I stop seeing constant spelling and grammatical errors.[/quote']Man you are really a nice person!first of all 1 am new to Card Maker and second for the grammatical errors, english is not my usual talking/writing language! And if you see an error, just tell it and ill fix it! ...Well, I feel badly for saying all of that now. This being your second language is a good, viable excuse, and you didn't react as violently as almost everybody else does. Now I feel like a crappy person. But yeah, being new to the forum isn't as good an excuse. There are a lot of examples laying around for you to see and figure some stuff off of, and I've seen several people asking about how to make spoilers. But anyways, honestly the story is pretty average for YGO stories: linear and uninteresting. You've gotta raise the stakes! Make it more dangerous! Have more in-depth characters and characterization! Make a story about card games feel at least slightly more serious than it sounds like it would! IMPROOOOOOVE and you shall win. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaisu Posted April 2, 2010 Report Share Posted April 2, 2010 YEAH! Like Wild West Bob(R.I.P).. Also, english is my second language, and I can use it perfectly. I can spell/read/write better than the average 14 year old, and I'm 10. Seriously. You're new to the card maker? Apart from cheesy and names and an overused plot, my story was long, lengthy, and all in one thread. *sigh* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sanderman Posted April 3, 2010 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2010 I don't care HOW many chapters you link to in one thread' date=' YOU NEED TO STOP MAKING EXTRA TOPICS FOR THIS HORRIBLE-LOOKING STORY AND POST IT ALL IN ONE THREAD. THEN YOU ASK SOME NICE ADMINS TO DELETE YOUR PREVIOUS TOPICS. Just look at some of those stories with 40+ chapters and see how they do it! And by the way, I'll probably really read your story after I stop seeing constant spelling and grammatical errors.[/quote']Man you are really a nice person!first of all 1 am new to Card Maker and second for the grammatical errors, english is not my usual talking/writing language! And if you see an error, just tell it and ill fix it! ...Well, I feel badly for saying all of that now. This being your second language is a good, viable excuse, and you didn't react as violently as almost everybody else does. Now I feel like a crappy person. But yeah, being new to the forum isn't as good an excuse. There are a lot of examples laying around for you to see and figure some stuff off of, and I've seen several people asking about how to make spoilers. But anyways, honestly the story is pretty average for YGO stories: linear and uninteresting. You've gotta raise the stakes! Make it more dangerous! Have more in-depth characters and characterization! Make a story about card games feel at least slightly more serious than it sounds like it would! IMPROOOOOOVE and you shall win. Well thanks! :) violent comments never do anything good anyway!and about the story, it is going to be more exiting(i promise!!)Oh and if you have some good ideas for making the story better, please tell me! XDPS: there is a full thread version of my fanfic already!YEAH! Like Wild West Bob(R.I.P).. Also' date=' english is my second language, and I can use it perfectly. I can spell/read/write better than the average 14 year old, and I'm 10. Seriously. You're new to the card maker? Apart from cheesy and names and an overused plot, my story was long, lengthy, and [b']all in one thread[/b]. *sigh* OH another nice person! well if your ego is so big! please add it in an attachment! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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