the dream world 13+

[blackhawk29]

[align=justify] Chapter 1-The Man

 

I was sitting at my desk as usual, when the teacher introduced us to a new girl Mary Rose. She reminded me of a person I’ve known all my life. Her name was also Mary but her last name was Lily not Rose. This girl even looked like her, brown eyes, favorite color was purple, and she had freckles across the bridge of her nose. I walked up to this girl; weirdly she sounded like her, and asked ‘Did I meet you before”

 

“No, at least I don’t think so” she replied. At that very moment a giant black hawk, with razor sharp talons and a high-pitched call grabbed her by the shoulders and flew off. I ran after her and the horrific bird through the halls. Very soon the walls and floors were losing color and things grew black. The only thing I saw was a menacing figure in the distance. Whoever it was wore a long black cloak with strange markings on it, and had a voice like a low growl of a tiger, intimidating to all. He or she was obviously concealing a knife in his or her cloak sleeve. This person did not move or talk only stood there.

 

“Who are you?!” I asked furiously. “Where is Mary” The stranger only stood there saying nothing. I yelled this over and over, but this man said nothing and did nothing like a tiger about to pounce. Quickly the man waved his hand and the bird was there sitting with Mary, who couldn’t speak at all. The mysterious person gestured for the bird and Mary to move toward him. The man unraveled his cloak and reveled the man’s hidden dagger, and in one swift movement he trusted the blade between Mary’s shoulder blades and through her chest. Blood splattered on my face and leaked from the wound dripping on the floor. She fell lifeless and cold and the man stood there laughing a laugh that was cold and unhearted. I formed a fist with my hand and ran at this fool who deserved a fist to the side of his or her head. But before I could the man had already struck me in the chest hard with his right foot, and I was knocked out cold.

 

Hours later I woke up in my normal school hallway, it was all color but Mary was still on the ground. I went over to feel her pulse, I touched her wrist to feel the pulse but sadly there was none, and she was still bleeding. People came over and saw all of this; I knocked, checking her pulse and her being dead. That day we had a funeral. Everyone was crying and I didn’t understand how that encounter was real.

 

After everything was over and all the people left, I strolled up to her gravestone still, hard to believe what I saw. Reading the gravestone I saw the words “Murdered by Blake Intergrant” that was my name.

“How is this possible, I was knocked out and a person with a black cloak killed her?” Just then a man in a black cloak appeared the same that murdered Mary. Without hesitation I struck the person in the head with my right foot, stepping forward and turning, hitting him with the heel of my foot, knocking him to the ground. It also revealed his face, he had black hair, blue eyes and had a weird mark under his eye, a red triangle, and he looked exactly like me besides the red mark. He started malefic laughing. He walked toward me slowly and threw a knife directly at me.

“Ahhh!” I screamed in fear, waking from a horrific dream.

 

 

Chapter 2- The Dream

 

“Ahhh!” I screamed in fear, waking from a horrific dream. At that point my mom walked through the door.

“What’s the matter?” she asked. I sat up and told her nothing was the matter and it was just a dream but it felt more than a dream, it felt real and dangerous. The girl reminded her so mush of Mary. I got up and gotten ready for the day, but it didn’t feel right it felt strange.

 

I walked into school and saw all my friends I didn’t feel like telling them about the dream, they wouldn’t care anyhow. I walked to my desk, and sat down, taking my books out for Science class for first period. Then my teacher stood in front of the class and announced-

“We have a new student. Her name is Mary Lily.” Just then a twelve year old girl stood up from a desk and said with excitement “Hello everyone I hope we will be great friends!” She looked over at me eyes wide in amazement. She started walking but I couldn’t understand why, she looked so familiar.

“Hey Blake, you remember me don’t you?” she asked. I just sat there wondering who she was, but I couldn’t figure out who she was. Ten minutes passed without a word, but then I knew.

“Your Mary from Kindergarten aren’t you?” I asked. She looked at me strange. I looked at her confused, moments passed but it felt like hours until she finally said-

“No. You’re that guy, from that dream I had, last night” Then I knew who she was she was Mary Rose from that dream. We both knew what each other were thinking “How is this possible?” We each know each other through a dream were we both died, but how it was only a dream. We looked at each other awestruck.

“Blake, Mary! Get in your seats!”My teacher yelled. Quickly Mary left as fast as she came, leaving me in questions about her and about that dream. The day went as usual Science, Math Writing or Reading, lunch, Gym and math again, but it was full of questions with no answers, like always.

 

Chapter 3 The Girl

 

“Ahhh!” I screamed for mercy. I was being attacked by some, THING! This thing wore a purple robe, I couldn’t see his or her face, and it was carrying a large weapon, a pole of some sort, with three pieces of sharp metal on the side like three reaper scythe blades on one. Running I stumble and fall.

 

“You’re dead!” this thing roared in a low tone, “Come here. It won’t hurt a bit” I got up from my stumble and grabbed a rock. With all my force I chucked the rock right at the thing, knocking the hood off of its head. The person was Mary from the school day, and dream from the night before, but still she was trying to kill me. Running at her (she was standing up from being knocked down) I stopped suddenly twisting my body I turned and brought my foot up so that after the twist my foot made contact with the bridge of her nose and sent her crashing into the ground. She got up again except this time her nose was full of blood. The blood dripped down her nose and down her face until it splashed to the ground.

 

“Why can’t you stay down?” I asked angrily but forming a crane style stance, by putting my right foot in front of my left a couple feet apart so my legs have length for kicking. My hands were curled so that if I punch my wrist would make contact instead of my fingers. I ran at her once more, hoping she‘d stay down this time, I jumped up and soared down striking her with the heel of my foot and knocking her to the floor. My foot was still on top of her when I twisted my body sending my other foot smashing the side of her ribcage with the front of my shoe’s toe. I jumped away knowing she would stay down, but the same figure from my dream appeared in a dark mist. He [who was also me but wasn’t] picked up Mary, well the evil Mary, and placed her under a tree. Mary miraculously healed the damage done to her ribcage and nose and stood.

“As if one was bad enough” I thought hastily I ran from them steadying my heart rate so I didn’t have to stop. I looked back and both of them were gone, so I stopped. Then the two appeared right in front of me, there cloaks flowing in the wind, they had each a different weapon. Evil me had a tiger claw gauntlet, it had a three long blades coming from a oval-shaped gauntlet, and one coming from the handle. Evil me had one tiger gauntlet on each hand; while Evil Mary had tiger hook Sai. Unlike the Evil me, it was two-pronged, but there were three blades curving into a handle like hooks and had a handle like that of a sword, but had a defensive hand guard on it. These weapons were obviously made of steel, and handles were made of hard rock so they wouldn’t break. I checked it over and over in my mind, I couldn’t win. They walked toward me each of them had a creepy murderer smile, full of deathly instinct. Stopping they hugged and the Evil me’s head turned and his hand lifted up, pointing both of them did this.

 

In unison the both screeched the words “Time to Parish now stop running and face the dirty rotten truth.” Bewildered I just stood there, astonished and scared. They took their weapons and bringing them over their heads and sliced through the air like it was butter, but I dodged to the rest and formed my hands into a crane beak by taking my four fingers and forming them into a triangle, the placed my thumb under them and struck the evil me in the stomach with my knee and flipped over him by placing my hand on his back and twirled my feet around and striking Evil Mary in the face with my foot and dropped of the Evil me’s back and struck my foot to the side of his Achilles heel making him fall to the ground in pain. Pain coursed through out my body, but I didn’t know why. I looked down and I saw two hooks straight through my abdomen, I turned and it was Evil Mary with her Tiger hook Sai thrusted in my stomach, blood poured from the wound, I fell to the ground hard and in massive pain.

“Why?” I uttered in a small and faint whisper so soft you could barely hear it, but all they did was smile that creepy smile they always smile.

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Tell me what you think

i am aware its not a fanfic, i didnt know where to post it

[Weather Report - Stand]

I only skimmed it and maybe found... five, maybe six words spelled correctly and used in the correct case. Should I care enough to read it?

[DARKPLANT RISING]

"Ahhhhh". Very intersting way to start off a chapter.

I don't get why it's 13+, or dreamy. I was in for something more inappropriate, seems I came here wrong.

 

Also, a lot of things are weird.

'Slicing air as though it was butter'? That means, you have tho shove though air in a very awkward fasion because it's literally like you're in a sea of butter.

Maybe you copied from a fantasy that said something about blades cutting though shields (or something of that sort) like butter. But thing is, butter is harder to cut than air.

[blackhawk29]

"Ahhhhh". Very intersting way to start off a chapter.

I don't get why it's 13+' date=' or dreamy. [s']I was in for something more inappropriate, seems I came here wrong.[/s]

 

Also, a lot of things are weird.

'Slicing air as though it was butter'? That means, you have tho shove though air in a very awkward fasion because it's literally like you're in a sea of butter.

Maybe you copied from a fantasy that said something about blades cutting though shields (or something of that sort) like butter. But thing is, butter is harder to cut than air.

 

i tried to find a simile to work here, i guess it didnt work XD

and its says a Dreamy Fanfic because its a dream, and its 13+ because of the vilance in the later chapters

[DARKPLANT RISING]

"Ahhhhh". Very intersting way to start off a chapter.

I don't get why it's 13+' date=' or dreamy. [s']I was in for something more inappropriate, seems I came here wrong.[/s]

 

Also, a lot of things are weird.

'Slicing air as though it was butter'? That means, you have tho shove though air in a very awkward fasion because it's literally like you're in a sea of butter.

Maybe you copied from a fantasy that said something about blades cutting though shields (or something of that sort) like butter. But thing is, butter is harder to cut than air.

 

i tried to find a simile to work here, i guess it didnt work XD

and its says a Dreamy Fanfic because its a dream, and its 13+ because of the vilance in the later chapters

 

Ummmmmmm...

Is this really violent? No one would seriously think this is gory.

And also, in fantasies and stories, the defination of "gore" is...

 

Gore

A situation or scene in which violent, bloody or murdurous happenings occur. Mainly used to add suspence, a mysterious feeling, or sorrow.

 

The ending is a bad end, as I can see.

On the other hand-

What is the concept of this story? It all depends on there. Should it be a sad mood, I would let it go, but if you wanted to make it a happy one, I can say it is weird.

 

Also, "dreamy" is when something is when:

"Lacking spirit of liveliness".

[Dr. Cakey]

Handy tips include proper use of commas, breaking paragraphs after lines of dialogue, and spelling "Finally" correctly in your sig.

[DARKPLANT RISING]

Handy tips include proper use of commas' date=' breaking paragraphs after lines of dialogue, and spelling "Finally" correctly in your sig.

[/quote']

 

I think that's due to some GFX'er.