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Darth Revan of the Sith Newbie

Darth Revan of the Sith

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[spoiler=Death by job title]Three guys were on a trip to Saudi Arabia. One day, they stumbled into a harem tent filled with over 100 beautiful women. They started getting friendly with all the women, when suddenly the Sheik came in.

"I am the master of all these women. No one else can touch them except me. You three men must pay for what you have done today. You will be punished in a way corresponding to your profession."

The sheik turns to the first man and asks him what he does for a living. "I'm a cop", says the first man. "Then we will shoot your penis off!", said the sheik.

He then turned to the second man and asked him what he did for a living. "I'm a firemen", said the second man. "Then we will burn your penis off!", said the sheik.

Finally, he asked the last man,"And you, what do you do for a living?"
And the third man answered, with a sly grin, "I'm a lollipop salesman!"[/spoiler]
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byak Newbie

byak

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A man and his young wife were in divorce court, but the custody of their children posed a problem.

The mother leaped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she brought the children into this world, she should retain custody of them.

The man also wanted custody of his children, so the judge asked for his justification.

After a long silence, the man slowly rose from his chair and replied...

"Your Honor, when I put a dollar in a vending machine and a Pepsi comes out, does the Pepsi belong to me or the machine?"
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Grunt Issun Newbie

Grunt Issun

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[quote name='=Evangelion=' timestamp='1292713167' post='4862887']
No, nothing here is even mildly funny, everything is just horrible. Something has to be seriously wrong with the sense of humor here, since I can't get a single laugh out of here.
[/quote]
*Not meaning any disrespect* What is your sense of humor? Post a joke you've laughed at, if you can.
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byak Newbie

byak

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:huh:

During a good manners and etiquette class being held for young children, the teacher says to her students:

"If you were courting a well educated young girl from a prominent family and during a dinner for two you needed to go to the toilet, what would you say to her?"

Mike replies: "Wait a minute, I'm going for a piss."

The teacher says: "That would be very rude and improper on your part."

Charlie replies: "I'm sorry I need to go to the toilet, I'll be back in a minute."

The teacher says: "That's much better but to mention the word ''toilet'' during a meal, is unpleasant."

And Little Johnny says: "My dear, please excuse me for a moment. I have to go shake hands with a personal friend, whom, I hope to be able to introduce to you after dinner."
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Jack of All Spades Newbie

Jack of All Spades

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So they named a street A. Soviet Lane. They had to change it though.
Because no one crosses A. Soviet and lives...

A: KNOCK KNOCK!
B: Who's there?
A: KGB!
B: KGB wh-?
A: *slap B in face* We'll ask the questions here, you muppet!

[quote name='Cornholio' timestamp='1292542917' post='4857935']
So a Dyslexic guy walks into a bra......
[/quote]
HEY! Dyslexians have fleeings, too!

[spoiler=ATHLETES IN HEAVEN]Tiger Woods, LeBron James, and Tom Brady are sent to Heaven to be seated near the Holy Father. Of course, because all these men are sport legends, God chooses who sits next to Him based on a speech.
Tiger Woods steps foward, looks at his feet and says "Almighty Father, although I have cheated on my spouse, I believe that repentation i and forgivenes is the path to take." Suddenly, Tiger Woods was seated on the left hand of the Father.
LeBron James steps up confidently and says, "God, I know I have yelled at my teamates, but I believe I can overcome it by friendship and teamwork." Suddenly, LeBron James is seated at the right hand of the Father.
God then asks Tom Brady, "And just what do YOU believe in, Tom?"

Tom replies, "I BELIEVE you're in my friggin' seat!"[/spoiler]
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Kizzi Newbie

Kizzi

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[quote name='=Evangelion=' timestamp='1292672822' post='4861437']
What's the site with the lamest of senses of jokes, based on a particular thread inside it?
[spoiler=Obvious answer]YCM.[/spoiler]
[/quote]

What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby?
You take your boots off before you jump on a trampoline.

What's the difference between Santa Claus and Jews?
Santa goes down the chimney.

What's the difference between a ton of coal and a ton of Jews?
The Jews burn for longer.

What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew?
You take the pizza out of the oven.
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JadenxAtemYAOI Newbie

JadenxAtemYAOI

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A farmer walks out to his farm and sees all 100 of his cows are dead. he writes a suicide note and drowns himself. The oldest son sees the note and goes to kill himself. A mermaid comes out and says, if you screw me 5 times. I'll bring back everyone that died on the farm. The oldest son fails with 3. The middle son sees the note and goes to kill himself. The mermaid says, if you screw me 10 times. I'll bring everyone that died on the farm. He fails with 8. The youngest son sees the note and walks down to the lake. The mermaid says, if you screw me 20 times. i'll bring back everyone that died on this farm. The youngest son asks, why not 100 or 200? The mermaid asks, can you do that? The youngest son replies, how do you think all the cows died?
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Kizzi Newbie

Kizzi

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[quote name='tonymann' timestamp='1292953248' post='4871022']
Whats worse than a dead baby? A trashcan full of em.
Whats worse than that? There is a live one at the bottom.
Whats worse than that? It eats its way out.
Whats worse than that? It goes back for seconds.
[/quote]

Did I start a dead baby joke trend?

[quote name='Canine' timestamp='1292969440' post='4871794']
God, this is what YCM finds funny? Go figure, this is YCM I'm talking about.
[/quote]

Nice sense of humour you have there.
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Grunt Issun Newbie

Grunt Issun

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So a blind guy is going to his normal bar, and his dog somehow makes a wrong turn, and he ends up walking into a womens bar. He goes up to the counter and asks for a beer, after 15 minutes of waiting he shouts out "Anyone wanna here a blonde joke?" suddenly the bartender says "Sir, I'm a blonde who is a proffesional boxer, the woman next to you is a blonde with a black belt in karate, and the woman on the other side of you is a blonde with the weight lifting record of this state, now tell me, do you REALLY want to tell that joke?" after a minute of thinking, the man replys, "No, not if I have to explain the joke three times
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Xazeon Newbie

Xazeon

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Posted
[quote name='The Unwritten Law' timestamp='1292883685' post='4868692']
That's the purpose of anti-jokes. A joke whose punchline is actually depressing rather than funny.

For example:

Why did the blonde jump off a bridge?

Because she had no self-esteem and wanted to end her life.
[/quote]

Is it bad that I laughed?
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