Dark Posted February 11, 2011 Report Share Posted February 11, 2011 It is my absolute displeasure to announce that Valentine's Day is in four days. Valentine's Day is often denoted with an air of love, which gives it quite a positive connotation. As the FSM wills it, I will attempt to change that. You, on YCM, are of all types. Some are white, some are black, some are blue, and some are red (and are probably watching NASCAR while reading this). You come from all religions: some believe in the god whose "g" is capitalized, some believe in the god who sounds quite a lot like ALAkazam, some believe in the most glorious god of them all, [s]Amaterasu[/s] the FSM, and some don't believe in a god at all. And some aren't sure if they believe in a god because they think they are smart because they attempt to trick out religion because they think that if they note that a god can exist but don't necessarily believe in one at the moment means they are going to heaven no matter what but I am fortunate to say this is a lie and you agnostics are going to hell so pack your bags because we aren't in Kansas anymore. You come from all ages: some are relatively three years old (or act like it, at the very least), while some are upwards of eighty (Crab, I'm looking at your profile). However, because the FSM decrees that I must change the connotation surrounding Valentine's Day, I must target all people, old and young, stupid and intelligent, black and white, brown and yellow, Pastafarians and not Pastafarians. This is quite a daunting task, and because I have not the time nor the patience to complete such a task, I will do what all religious people do, [s]read a passage from my holy book[/s] try something and say that my god will send me to heaven because I at least tried. This passage is not for the weak-hearted, and it is not for the unintelligent, knocking many people on YCM right off the list of targetted people. However, despite the lack of intelligence on YCM, I must say that if you are unintelligent but THINK you are intelligent, do read on just to find the truth about yourself. Valentine's Day, first and foremost, is one of the stupidest, most overrated holidays to ever exist. Notice how the largest celebrator of Valentine's Day is America. Any striking resemblance you see? America is the most capitalistic country I can think of (well, except for maybe China...), and time and time again I see advertisements (or hear them) on the television or the radio. "Guys, you are running out of time to buy your special someone that perfect gift. Buy flowers from 1-800-KIS-SASS!" "Guys, buy your genuine, German vibrators here, for that special someone in your life." "Go out and buy some chocolate, lazy piece of crap." But no one realizes what this is doing to us. Our economy is bad, and is almost in shambles. With an unemployment rate of over 9%, how can anyone expect us to buy gifts for some retard that we probably don't care about? Flowers cost twenty bucks for twenty-four goddamn roses that will wilt anyways; vibrators cost fifty bucks and I'm probably going to get banned for even mentioning that (kids, do NOT use Google); and chocolates cost seven dollars and will be eaten anyway. Besides, if you give your girlfriend chocolate, no matter how skinny she may be, she will accuse you for trying to make her fat. Corporate America is a huge dick (pun... intended?), and are charging us thousands of dollars to buy stupid goods for stupid people that we don't even give a damn about. Capitalism has never worked, and I believe that all capitalists should die because of this hideous holiday. I'd rather live in a communist society where we all equally share the women in society! But people who work in the government get the women 6 nights a week, and the rest of the population have to decide who gets the women that one leftover night. Okay, so maybe communism isn't that smart, either... Speaking of women, let's allude back to the fact that we are on YCM of all websites. Answer a simple question? Are you dating someone? If you answered yes, your blatant lie is revealed and you should stop making yourself look cool on the internet, when in actuality you are probably an overweight nerd who has sixty pimples on [b]his[/b] face (sorry Crab and Pika and past-Larxene and all other self-claimed girls, you don't exist) and couldn't get a girl if your life depended on it. If you answered no, then what is the point of this holiday? Despite whether I have had previous relationships or not (if I said yes, you would assume I was lying, and if I said no, I would be blatantly lying), I currently am single, and somewhat feel your pain. Unfortunately I actually have "friends" (new term for you? I thought so), so I will actually be doing something on Monday when you will be sitting at home, presumably in your stereotypical "mom's basement" eating fried chips and drinking soda. However, since we all share the fact that we are not in a relationship, what is the point of this holiday, if I may ask again? Is it to make us feel bad that we do not have a girlfriend we can rape every night (sorry Sanchez, I apologize that you were busted)? Is it to make us mourn that other people are so much more socially active and are actually attractive to women? Tell me, is the point of this holiday to make us sad on the inside? More suicides happen on Valentine's Day than any other day in February, but no one has ever delved into that issue. All this day causes is suicide, and for the few people (not on YCM, of course) who are in a relationship, they go in to a room and nine months later- bam! a baby pops out. But then the woman tries to get an abortion because she claims her condom ripped and then a preist comes from the local church and stones her to death, the appropriate death as said by the Bible. But then again, the Book of the FSM is so much more accurate about these things. If you are part of the small society on YCM that actually is in a relationship with someone, or are just a really good liar (the second is more probable), the lot of us hope you die a horrible death, which, if you read DARK'S VOCABULARY in my signature, implies that I am telling you either to "go die in a fire" or to "go die in a hole". Valentine's Day is not a day of happiness and joyous celebration, but rather a day of mourning, suicide, and abortion. Is this what we want to celebrate in Black History Month, the month with the fewest days because the white man wants to play down the importance of African-Americans? Is this what we want to celebrate only 45 days into the new year? No. And this year, I hope you realize the horrors of Valentine's Day. Please check your local listings for areas near you where you can stone happy couples (hopefully to death), and make sure to have a totally unpleasant holiday. Good day. [spoiler=And if all that text just wasn't enough...] Please leave a comment below indicating: 1.) Any times you laughed during this thread, if at all. 2.) Any logic flaws I may have had in my argument. 3.) Any flaming you would like to direct at me. 4.) Anything else about the thread that you probably spent sixty minutes thinking up just to show that I missed something in my not-claimed-to-be-totally-exhaustive-list of things to to comment about. 5.) How low your IQ is.[/spoiler] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gospel. Posted February 11, 2011 Report Share Posted February 11, 2011 [IMG]http://i251.photobucket.com/albums/gg296/ar_rag/Random%20Stuff%20That%20Makes%20Me%20Smile/imagesqtbnANd9GcS64h8-8Yg83ffFcWDEmpm9hfTKjKMYMUX7WWMmLwE8gkOyRkVZhQ.jpg[/IMG] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tourmaline Posted February 11, 2011 Report Share Posted February 11, 2011 It actually didn't start as such a stupid holiday, though. Black history month is America's fault, too. Or mostly, at least: Whatever: Why would you even care about how other peoples' lives are? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacoby746 Posted February 11, 2011 Report Share Posted February 11, 2011 1. No 2. Not as far as I read (the first sentance) 3. "tl;dr" 4. I've read collage papers shorter than that 5. Somewhere between 0 and 200. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark Posted February 11, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 11, 2011 [quote name='Horrific' timestamp='1297386961' post='5001871'] [IMG]http://i251.photobucket.com/albums/gg296/ar_rag/Random%20Stuff%20That%20Makes%20Me%20Smile/imagesqtbnANd9GcS64h8-8Yg83ffFcWDEmpm9hfTKjKMYMUX7WWMmLwE8gkOyRkVZhQ.jpg[/IMG] [/quote] Wasn't a tale. I apologize for your lack of intelligence, but I can do nothing to fix it. I offer my most sincere apologies. [quote name='Hinagiku Katsura' timestamp='1297387556' post='5001896'] It actually didn't start as such a stupid holiday, though. Black history month is America's fault, too. Or mostly, at least: Whatever: Why would you even care about how other peoples' lives are? [/quote] You just... don't get it. [quote name='Jacoby746' timestamp='1297387716' post='5001903'] 1. No 2. Not as far as I read (the first sentance) 3. "tl;dr" 4. I've read collage papers shorter than that 5. Somewhere between 0 and 200. [/quote] Let me narrow that range down for number five. [i]Somewhere between 20 and 50.[/i] That seems a lot more appropriate for you. Furthermore, I am unsure of what a "collage paper" is. It a collage placed onto a paper? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tourmaline Posted February 11, 2011 Report Share Posted February 11, 2011 Nah, yoi're just trolling and spreading your mad. ^^ Good luck, though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark Posted February 11, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 11, 2011 [quote name='Hinagiku Katsura' timestamp='1297387935' post='5001907'] Nah, yoi're just trolling and spreading your mad. ^^ Good luck, though. [/quote] Unfortunately "trolling" is not the best word to describe what I am doing, since you obviously do not know the definition of "trolling", but it is probably the closest you can get without going through extensive thinking, which I know you cannot handle. "Speading my mad" isn't very grammatically correct, although you are correct- in a sense. I am not expressing my anger, but I am rather exposing the lies that are hidden around Valentine's Day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tourmaline Posted February 11, 2011 Report Share Posted February 11, 2011 "Yoi're" was wrong, as well. I blame auto-correct. Also, "speading" isn't correctly spelt, either... But you're correct about Valentines Day. Th more modern meaning seems like a bad method of making money off the people who buy te act for companies. Although that's what they always do. Also, there's no point in trying to insult people who cannot comprehend you well enough. Really. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheComposer Posted February 11, 2011 Report Share Posted February 11, 2011 *opens book* Now it's time for TheComposer to decipher this thread in a few words. "I hate Valentine's Day because I get sad when I see other people with girlfriends on Valentine's when I don't, so I'm making this thread to denounce it." *closes book* While i don't particularly like Valentine's, it's never going to die out to couples, so I really don't see why you went through the trouble of making this thread when no one's going to listen to you. And yes, I did read the entire thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark Posted February 11, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 11, 2011 [quote name='TheComposer' timestamp='1297388664' post='5001934'] *opens book* Now it's time for TheComposer to decipher this thread in a few words. "I hate Valentine's Day because I get sad when I see other people with girlfriends on Valentine's when I don't, so I'm making this thread to denounce it." *closes book* While i don't particularly like Valentine's, it's never going to die out to couples, so I really don't see why you went through the trouble of making this thread when no one's going to listen to you. And yes, I did read the entire thing. [/quote] I have never once expressed my sadness that Valentine's Day exists; I simply want to expose the evils surronding it and maybe stone a few happy couples. Is that so bad? :/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twig Posted February 11, 2011 Report Share Posted February 11, 2011 I smiled but never really laughed...I can't afford to spend 60 minutes looking for logic flaws and witty comments. Actually, I haven't taken an IQ test, but it would probably be low. Now that's out of the way, why not have Valentine's Day? I don't really know much of the history of holidays, but I celebrate them anyways. Why not have Halloween? Why not have St. Patrick's Day? [img]http://i38.photobucket.com/albums/e110/Goddess552/Pokemon%20Pics/wynaut.gif[/img] High schoolers have sex and abortions everyday. Loners are always crying over being lonely. Valentine's Day just increases the thought. I don't mind Valentine's Day. Holidays are holidays. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tentacruel Posted February 11, 2011 Report Share Posted February 11, 2011 Too tired to read now, I'll get around to getting through it later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yasu Posted February 11, 2011 Report Share Posted February 11, 2011 1.) Didn't laughed, sorry. 2.) No need to, it's a joke after all. 3.) Nope. 4.) First 2 paragraphs felt somewhat unnecessary. 5.) Don't know/not relevant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saturn of Elemia Posted February 11, 2011 Report Share Posted February 11, 2011 Congratulations, you hate Valentine's Day. Welcome to the club, pal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fusion X. Denver Posted February 11, 2011 Report Share Posted February 11, 2011 My IQ would be low, as I constantly demonstrate my lack of common sense. As for Valentines Day, I hear where you're coming from. Personally, I don't mind Valentines Day, nor do I care for it. I've never really had a girlfriend so I don't know what it's like to spend that day with a girl. If I HAD a girl, I'd probably be right with those other guys trying to make their girls happy despite the commercialism (I don't think you mentioned that, but VD is kinda commercialized, right?) because I'd try anything to make her feel happy and special :/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mehmani Posted February 11, 2011 Report Share Posted February 11, 2011 Valentine's Day is a day allocated for those in love, so why not have a "reverse" Valentine's Day? We could celebrate sarcasm, bigotry and lulz. It would be great fun. I call 15th February. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renzoku Kira- Posted February 11, 2011 Report Share Posted February 11, 2011 Did I laugh no because you act like a crazy Christian who wants to force religion down peoples throat. Now listen before you act like you know something about sports, sex, and ages of consent 17 is the legal age in that case so you can just STFU about that one(http://www.avert.org/age-of-consent.htm) there is the link that proves me right, and look at the Vatican on there legal age 12. So in your mind everyone on YCM lies except yourself. Valentines Day just started out by a priest who helped marry couples in Rome during the we hate Christians era. Dark has a life everybody, but wait hasn't he been here 3 years and have 20K post............oh yeah thats right. Don't sit there and call out people on this site not knowing a single one of them personally. You should be stoned for writing this article. Calling people not intelligent just proves you are a ass. Plus Dark you think Sanchez raped his GF who is 17 yet New York allows sex at the age of 17. You think VD is all about people getting gifts, but its just about people wanting to have one night of the year on which they can show people how much they care for them. Also saying people have no life, yet you took the time to write this whole thing so once again congrats on proving yourself not intelligent because you keep making ground then it falls out from under you. Dark go ahead find a way to prove me wrong on this by saying I am not intelligent....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scanty&Kneesocks Posted February 11, 2011 Report Share Posted February 11, 2011 "Corporate America taking advantage of everyone and overcharging for Valentines" - agreed. "Huge scam" - agreed "Nobody has a girl/boyfriend" - uhh... "Valentine's day is the worst holiday." Ok why'd I rep this? Dark you have good points, but the last like 3 paragraphs are un-needed and is just you raging. Nothing is wrong with valentine, people scamming people; yes, but not valentine. I don't particularly like valentine myself (why love someone especially for one day when you can just love them everyday ?/logic fallacy?/ ) The main thing I see about Valentine is that it's suppose to be a day that you put aside all your difference even if mid argument to realize, despite what happened that you love eachother and that you should never forget that. So I agree that Valentine is a scam, stop raging and belittle the holiday and the people who celebrate it or are happy couples. Stone happy couples? Seems like someone is just jealous about couples. (True or not, stop making it seem that way)."Corporate America taking advantage of everyone and overcharging for Valentines" - agreed. "Huge scam" - agreed "Nobody has a girl/boyfriend" - uhh... "Valentine's day is the worst holiday." Ok why'd I rep this? Dark you have good points, but the last like 3 paragraphs are un-needed and is just you raging. Nothing is wrong with valentine, people scamming people; yes, but not valentine. I don't particularly like valentine myself (why love someone especially for one day when you can just love them everyday ?/logic fallacy?/ ) The main thing I see about Valentine is that it's suppose to be a day that you put aside all your difference even if mid argument to realize, despite what happened that you love eachother and that you should never forget that. So I agree that Valentine is a scam, stop raging and belittle the holiday and the people who celebrate it or are happy couples. Stone happy couples? Seems like someone is just jealous about couples. (True or not, stop making it seem that way). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seta Posted February 11, 2011 Report Share Posted February 11, 2011 [quote name='Jacoby746' timestamp='1297387716' post='5001903'] 1. No 2. Not as far as I read (the first sentance) 3. "tl;dr" 4. I've read collage papers shorter than that 5. Somewhere between 0 and 200. [/quote] You, yeah you. Don't tell me you're over 10. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catman25 Posted February 11, 2011 Report Share Posted February 11, 2011 [s]2. More of a mechanics flaw, but you spelled "priest" wrong. ;D[/s] I agree with you on a lot of your points. But it's a holiday. A lot of people don't like Christmas. But there's a lot of people that do, and they're the ones that are gonna keep it alive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Revan of the Sith Posted February 11, 2011 Report Share Posted February 11, 2011 @Dark You have trully been blessed by his noodly appendages... Valentines Day is a horrible and Idiotic Creation... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renzoku Kira- Posted February 11, 2011 Report Share Posted February 11, 2011 They made a Saint into a holiday. All the guy did was have illegal wedding that isn't deserving of a holiday. It just says lets celebrate a criminal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lonk Posted February 12, 2011 Report Share Posted February 12, 2011 Corporate America brings out the sharper fishing hooks by promoting capitalism on holidays. Easter, Halloween, Christmas and Valentine's Day are such examples. While it is common for people to buy gifts on special occasions, Large retailers and businesses take advantage of holidays and highly increase the price. Like you said, they even raise the price much higher when the economy is doing poorly. This shows that Corporate America has a giant lust for riches and, with the prices they set, is no different from theft. I hate capitalism as all companies focus hard on how they will pick their customers' pockets. Capitalism affects every aspect of everyone's life, such as in media. One infamous example is open endings in some video games. Creators of games like Halo and COD deliberately put them there just to keep us waiting for 1-6 years until they release a sequel which goes off from where the game ended. That is one major reason I don't like those games. We need to definitely need to change our economy to a socialist economy so that the Middle Class will benefit much more greatly than in an economy where the rich takes everyone's savings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacoby746 Posted February 12, 2011 Report Share Posted February 12, 2011 I was kidding in my first post (sorry about the spelling). But on a serious note, I don't really care about valentines day that much. I just celebrate my friend's birthday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larxene Posted February 12, 2011 Report Share Posted February 12, 2011 tl;dr version: Dark raging because he doesn't have a girlfriend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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