OH MY GOD IT'S THE LONGEST EFFECT EVER [Eternal Maze]

[DARKPLANT RISING]

[center]Every once in a while I post this here to get feedback. One of my classic and personal favorites. Also IDK about OCG here since it's too long.

[b]Eternal Maze[/b]
[img]http://img31.imageshack.us/img31/7481/115072.jpg[/img]
[spoiler=Effect]This card cannot be activated unless the number of cards on both players' fields are the same. This card's activation and effects cannot be negated by any means, regardless of where this card's effect was activated from. This card cannot be destroyed or removed from the field except by its own effect. While this card is on the field, Field Spell Cards cannot be activated or Set. When this card is activated, destroy all other cards on the field, and send the hand of both players to the Graveyard. Card effects cannot be activated against this card's effects. Both players draw 5 cards, show them to the opposing player, then flip cards from the top of his/her deck until a monster that can be Special Summoned and is not Divine-Beast is flipped, and Special Summon it. Return all the other cards to the appropriate deck. Activate the following effects depending on the Type of the flipped monster:
Aqua-Increase your Life Points by 2000.
Beast-If the summoned monster would attack, its damage is inflicted twice.
Beast-Warrior-If the summoned monster destroys a monster by battle, the destroyed monster’s controller selects and discards 1 card.
Dinosaur-Increase the summoned monster’s ATK by 1000.
Dragon-During battle between the summoned monster and a Defense Position monster whose DEF is lower than the ATK of the summoned monster, inflict the difference as Battle Damage to your opponent.
Fairy-Until “Eternal Maze” is removed from the field, your opponent must reveal all cards in his hand.
Fiend-Your opponent gains 2000 life points, and you draw 2 cards.
Fish-Special Summon 1 LV 4 or lower Fish-Type monster from your Graveyard.
Insect-Special Summon an Insect-Type monster from your deck with the same ATK as the summoned monster.
Machine-Special Summon 1 Machine-Type monster from your Graveyard that has 500 or less DEF.
Plant-Until “Eternal Maze” is removed from the field, the monster your opponent summoned cannot attack, be tributed, or be used as a Fusion/Synchro material.
Psychic-Pay 1000 Life Points. Select 1 Psychic-Type monster in your Graveyard and Special Summon it.
Pyro-Inflict 1500 damage to your opponent.
Reptile-Halve the ATK and DEF of the opponent’s monster Special Summoned by the effect of “Eternal Maze”.
Rock-You can flip both monsters Special Summoned by the effect of this card into face-down Defense Position.
Sea Serpent-Remove from play 1 Field Spell card in your Graveyard. Your opponent discard 2 cards.
Spellcaster-Until “Eternal Maze” is removed from the field, each time a Spell card is activated, select 1 Spell/Trap card your opponent controls and destroy it.
Thunder-The summoned monster can attack directly. If its ATK is higher than 1800, it must halve its ATK during the Damage Step to do so.
Warrior- Select 1 Monster Card in your opponent's hand and send it to the Graveyard. If your opponent has no Monster cards in his/her hand, randomly discard 1 card from his/her hand.
Winged-Beast-Select 1 Spell/Trap Card in your opponent's hand and send it to the Graveyard. If your opponent has no Spell/Trap cards in his/her hand, randomly discard 1 card from his/her hand.
Zombie- Discard 1 card. Special Summon 1 Zombie-Type monster from your Graveyard.
As long as this card remains face-up on the field, each time this card's controller would take battle damage, place 1 "Maze Counter A" on this card, and each time the player that doesn't control this card takes battle damage, place 1 "Maze Counter B" on this card. Maze Counter As and Maze Counter Bs cannot be removed from this card. Each time you or your opponent would attack, depending on the Attribute of the attacking monster, activate the following effects:
LIGHT-Increase the attacking monster’s ATK by 100 for each LIGHT monster in your Graveyard.
DARK- If the attacking monster destroys the attack target during this turn by battle, select and remove from play up to 3 cards from either player's Graveyard.
WIND-Destroy 1 Spell/Trap card on the field except "Eternal Maze".
EARTH-Before attacking, shuffle all face-up monsters on the field. Randomly select one of them, and destroy it. Then, return all monsters to their original positions. If the attacking monster or the attack target is destroyed, the attack is automatically negated.
FIRE-Destroy any monster that battles with the attacking monster, at the end of the Damage Step.
WATER-If the attacking monster destroys the opponent monster by battle, gain 1000 Life Points.
Each time a monster on the field is destroyed by battle, the controller of the monster destroyed by battle flips a coin two times. Depending on the results, activate the following effects:
Two heads-Inflict 800 damage to your opponent.
Two tails-Take 800 damage.
First heads, second tails-Inflict 400 damage to both players.
First tails, second heads-Both players gain 500 Life Points.
During your 3rd End Phase after activation, destroy this card. When this card is destroyed by its own effect, you roll a die for each Maze Counter A on it, and your opponent rolls a die for each Maze Counter B on it. Depending on each of the results, both players activate the following effects:
1-Inflict 1000 damage to your opponent.
2-Inflict 500 damage to your opponent.
3-Send the top 5 cards of your opponent's deck to the Graveyard.
4-Send the top 5 cards of your deck to the Graveyard.
5-Destroy 1 card on the field.
6-Randomly select 1 card in your opponent's hand and discard it.[/spoiler]

...prblm?

And yeah, it was made for fun.[/center]

[Ieyasu Tokugawa]

Winged-Beast = Winged Beast

[Mecha Love]

*Open mouthed shock horror with absolutely nothing in his mind because that effect was so long that if it was released then the writing would be dots!*

[Icy]

Topic Stuck. This card is the definition of AoC and Ridiculousness.

[TheGenuine]

Holy Sh!t i don't see any oCG errors and very balanced Whole Sh!t perfect long effect card

Over-doer

[unbreakerable]

[attachment=32008:images.jpg] HOLY SH!T!

[jexabu]

[quote name='Elemental Dragon' timestamp='1302617116' post='5133086']
*Open mouthed shock horror with absolutely nothing in his mind because that effect was so long that if it was released then the writing would be dots!*
[/quote]
It doesn't even work if you try to fit the effect in. no image pops up and it says an error occured.

[Shocked]

OMG WTF FTW !!

[DRAPHINIX]

First i lolled at the picture of the card think it was a joke, then i saw the spoiler thing.
Then I pressed it and was like, 'OMFG, nah lol tl;dr'
Lol jokes, great card, clearly it is has unique effect.
Also i have to say that this was every released as an actual card it would be most likely be banned, because people could not be bothered reading it and it'll make duel up to 10 times longer, just my thoughts.
But seriously, as i said before, great card.

[ragnarok1945]

first time I've ever seen an effect that long

all the types, all the attributes, all the coin flip results, dice roll results

I get the feeling if that was a real card they have to sell magnifying glasses to go with it

and yet for all of that, there's no imbalance on it, so it gets 9.9/10

[Niv-Mizzet]

Reminds me of MTG card Wall of Text. Otherwise, actually useful card. If you could be bothered to read the whole effect. Which I doubt. 5 minutes of lols either way, great card.

[~>Grovyle<~]

[quote name='jexabu' timestamp='1302648496' post='5134061']
It doesn't even work if you try to fit the effect in. no image pops up and it says an error occured.
[/quote]
Actually, it does work, just takes about five minutes to take it in. Just so everybody knows, if you put its effect in the card maker, you can't see any of it. Only a slightly darker effect box. I lol'd at the effect on the card, and then I opened the spoiler.

[Dmzi the Dark Shadow]

[i]damn[/i], that is long

[DARKPLANT RISING]

[quote name='Dmzi the Dark Shadow' timestamp='1302740135' post='5136434']
[i]damn[/i], that is long
[/quote]
That's the point.

[TaintedXNeko]

[quote name='Darkplant' timestamp='1302770321' post='5137183']
That's the point.
[/quote]
i propose that you split up the "Oh long johnson" effect into smaller cards and idk make em eternal maze 2 3, continious spells?

[Joe G.]

WTF this card is amazing. Love it . I'm still laughing xD

[The Sleeping Dude]

EPIC!!

[Stan Alda]

894 words. I hope you're proud of yourself.

I'm serious, I hope you're proud; this is pretty damn impressive.