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My First Card


PokeDaSmot

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[center][font="Century Gothic"][color="#000000"][img]http://img88.imageshack.us/img88/6690/432835.jpg[/img]

Transcendent Wolf Ookami-Sama

DIVINE

**********

[Divine-Beast / Effect]

This card cannot be Normal Summoned or Set. This card can only be Special Summoned by banishing 3 Level 4 or higher monsters you control. If this card attacks a Defense Position monster, inflict piercing Battle Damage to your opponent. When this card destroys a monster by battle: Place 1 Divine Counter on it. Once per turn: You can remove 2 Divine Counters from this card; Double the ATK of 1 of your monsters with the lowest Level, except this card, you control until the End Phase. When this card is destroyed: Banish it and Special Summon 1 Level 4 or lower monster from your hand or your Deck.

ATK / 3000 DEF / 1500

Tell me what you think.

:lol:[/color][/font][/center]

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[quote name='Master White' timestamp='1308341143' post='5290731']
Dang good OCG, a quick touch-up

Use "can", not may, special summoned= Special Summoned light=LIGHT

Maybe a little OP'd or Up'd, not sure, but nice for a 1 star card....

.92/1 =92% = B+
[/quote]

[font="Century Gothic"][color="#000000"]Thanks, making those changes as we speak.[/color][/font]
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[quote name='Back Scratcher!' timestamp='1308341373' post='5290738']
Piercing and banishing? I think you mean deals damage to the opponent and sacrificing
[/quote]
He's using New OCG just to let you know....

Banishing=Removing from play
Piercing is the term for difference in battle damage cards....
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[quote name='Back Scratcher!' timestamp='1308341373' post='5290738']
Piercing and banishing? I think you mean deals damage to the opponent and sacrificing
[/quote]

[font="Century Gothic"][color="#000000"]Take a look at the new OCG rules bud: http://forum.yugiohcardmaker.net/topic/250644-konami-new-card-grammar-rules/.[/color][/font]
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Beast Warrior with LIGHT? aiming for LightSworns? or what?

Effect is simple but useful. 2850 is bit too much, lower it around 2500.

graveyard=Graveyard, level=Level, This card cannot be Normal Summoned or Set at the first sentence
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[quote name='Maha Guns' timestamp='1308357641' post='5291283']
Beast Warrior with LIGHT? aiming for LightSworns? or what?

Effect is simple but useful. 2850 is bit too much, lower it around 2500.

graveyard=Graveyard, level=Level, This card cannot be Normal Summoned or Set at the first sentence
[/quote]

[font="Century Gothic"][color="#000000"]Thanks, made those changes.[/color][/font]
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This card cannot be Normal Summoned or Set. [u]This card can only be Special Summoned by banishing 3 Level 4 or higher monsters [b]you control[/b].[/u] If this card attacks a Defense Position monster, inflict piercing Battle Damage to your opponent.[b]When this card destroys a monster by battle: P[/b]lace 1 Divine Counter on it. Once per turn[b]: You can remove[/b] 2 Divine Counters from this card[b]; D[/b]ouble the ATK of [b]1[/b] of your monsters with the lowest Level, [b]except[/b] this card, [b]you control[/b] until the End Phase [s]of your turn[/s]. When this card is destroyed[b]: B[/b]anish it and Special Summon 1 Level 4 or lower monster from your hand or your Deck.
[color=blue]
-Underlined part I'm not sure how to change because I still haven't seen any semi-nomi monster with the new grammar.
-The rest is, since you are using the newest OCG, you need to use colons and semi-colons too.
-Some capitals I made weren't wrong in your version, but I changed them that way because they started different things now after those colons/semi-colons.

Seems a tad hard to Summon but its all good. Card would be overpowered if it didn't have those Summoning conditions.
Its a splendid job for a new member's first card. Keep it up.

[/color]
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