Jump to content

My first uinon

kevin7653

By kevin7653
in Realistic Cards

Recommended Posts

kevin7653 Newbie

kevin7653

Posted
Posted

i made this card for a contest hosted by future paradise before you start to yell at me for some ffects(like what happened last time)so anyways i want contruuctive critism and ocg fixes

[img]http://img15.imageshack.us/img15/263/218546j.jpg[/img]

Lore:
This card can be special summoned by tributing 500 life points.When this card is destroyed by a card your opponent controls you may equip this card to a face up DARK type monster.When this card is equipped to an monster raise it's ATK and DEF by 500.In the 2nd End Phase that this card was destroyed send the equipped card to the graveyard and raise the owner of that cards life points by 500 and shuffle this card into it's owners deck.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Astolfo Newbie

Astolfo

Posted
Posted

Kind of UP'd but ok I guess. Nice and balanced. But take off reshuffle into deck.
OCG: You may pay 500 life points: Special Summon this card. If this card is destroyed by a card your opponent controls: You may equip this to a face-up DARK-attribute monster you control. If this card is equipped to a monster: Raise the monster's ATK and DEF by 500. On your 2nd End Phase after this card was destroyed: Send this card to the graveyard; Raise the player that controlled the monster's life points by 500.


Nice job Kev. 9/10 Also, typical union effect is
Once per [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Turn"]turn[/url], during your [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Main_Phase"]Main Phase[/url], you can [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Equip"]equip[/url] this card to a __________ [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Monster_Card"]monster[/url] you [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Control"]control[/url] as an [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Equip_Cards"]Equip Card[/url], OR [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Unequip"]unequip[/url] it and [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Special_Summon"]Special Summon[/url] it in [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Face-up"]face-up[/url] [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Attack_Position"]Attack Position[/url]. While equipped to a monster by this [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Effect"]effect[/url], that monster _____________. (A monster can only be equipped with 1 [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Union_Monster"]Union Monster[/url] at a time. [b]If the equipped monster would be [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Destroy"]destroyed[/url], this card is destroyed instead.[/b])
Bolded is optional. But just look at Unions on YGO Wikia for help. Good job. 9/10

Link to comment
Share on other sites
kevin7653 Newbie

kevin7653

Posted
  • Author
Posted

well llike i said it was for a contest if you want i can show you the requirments thanks every body i will fix all the ocg and pm it in

fxed
[img]http://img72.imageshack.us/img72/9782/218546i.jpg[/img]
Lore:
DARK-attribute monster you control. If this card is equipped to a monster: Raise the monster's ATK and DEF by 500. On your 2nd End Phase after this card was destroyed: Send this card to the graveyard; Destroy the equipped card and raise the player that controlled the equipped monster's life points by 500.

these are the requirments for my contest wich is reason for some effects:
Make & PM a [b]Fairy-Type Union Monster [/b]that destroys [b]DARK [/b]monsters you and your opponent control, but at the same time increases your Life Points.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Sleepy Mentor

Sleepy

Posted
Posted

[quote name='kevin7653' timestamp='1323962481' post='5708500']
Lore:
DARK-attribute monster you control. If this card is equipped to a monster: Raise the monster's ATK and DEF by 500. On your 2nd End Phase after this card was destroyed: Send this card to the graveyard; Destroy the equipped card and raise the player that controlled the equipped monster's life points by 500.

these are the requirments for my contest wich is reason for some effects:
Make & PM a [b]Fairy-Type Union Monster [/b]that destroys [b]DARK [/b]monsters you and your opponent control, but at the same time increases your Life Points.
[/quote]

-Even though for Types, the word "Type" must be added, for Attributes it is a bit different. You just need to write [b]DARK[/b].

-I'm being picky with OCG on this one, but cards usually say [b]"can"[/b] instead of [b]"may"[/b]. The only cards that wrote "may" are from waaaaay back when the first Yugioh only had like 6 different packs in existence.

-Same with [b]"raise life"[/b]. You usually say [color=red]X[/color] player gains [color=red]X[/color] Life Points.

Let me see if I can re-word it.

[quote=Effect]
You can Special Summon it by paying 500 Life Points. If it's destroyed by your opponent, you can equip it to a DARK monster you control instead. While equipped, the equipped monster gains 500 ATK/DEF. During your 2nd Standby Phase after this card was destroyed, destroy the equipped monster and this card, and the equipped monster's controller gains 500 Life Points.
[/quote]

I think it's a bit underpowered. Instead of waiting for an imminent but slow destruction, I think it could have a different effect that is not so much of a drawback. Something like:
[b]You can destroy this card to destroy the equipped monster and have a player gain 500 Life Points.[/b]
It would serve as a combo that changed the equipped monster to an opponent's monster so you could destroy it if you want, or it would have one of your monsters gain a bit of extra ATK without it harming you. Just a suggestion of course.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Sleepy Mentor

Sleepy

Posted
Posted

I with the OCG cleared, I must say the card is underpowered.
by the way, I was wondering.
Did you purposely leave out the usual Union Effects?
-Protecting the equipped monster from destruction by destroying the Union instead.
-The part that only allows for 1 Union to be equipped to each monster at a time.
-The part that lets you either equip or unequip the Union on the field once per turn during your Main Phase.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Sleepy Mentor

Sleepy

Posted
Posted

[quote name='kevin7653' timestamp='1324132040' post='5712448']
do i need those eefects i better add them quick

do i need those eefects i better add them quick wait how does it go

do i need those eefects i better add them quick wait how does it go
[/quote]

Those effects have so far been included in all Unions without exception in the real game, but I think simply having the subtype "[b]Union[/b]" in there already makes it a Union and gives it access to Union support cards, so they are not needed if you think they are not. It really depends on what you think it's balanced for this card.
The first Union Monsters only protected from destruction by battle. The newer ones protect from any type of destruction, which is an example that the mechanic is flexible to your needs.

If you DO want to add those effects after all, here's an example:
It was the bigger union image I found.
[img]http://images.wikia.com/yugioh/images/f/ff/YDragonHeadDP2-EN-C-1E.jpg[/img]

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Sleepy Mentor

Sleepy

Posted
Posted

[quote name='kevin7653' timestamp='1324223407' post='5714931']
what would you think if i added an effect that doesn't let any other equip cards equip to the equiped card while equiped
[/quote]

That depends.
So far all Unions have that effect already in the actual game.
If you are going to just add it without changing anything else, don't do it. As I said before, card is already underpowered as it is.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...