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The joke thread.


Luna Diviner

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right where do i start

why did the boy drop his lollipop? Cause he got hit by a truck

why did the girl fall off a swing? Cause she had no arms

Why does beyonces song go to the left to the left? Cause black people have no rights

 

Whats funnier than a dead baby? A barrel full of dead babies

Whats funnier than that? The one live baby eating its way out

 

Whats worse than micheal jackson baby sitting your kids? The Mcanns taking them on holiday

Whats worse than that? Letting them stay in a Youth Hostel in Jersey

 

Whats goes round and round clawing at the glass? A baby in a microwave

 

What sits in the corner getting smaller and smaller? A baby with a cheese grater

 

Whats blue and screws grandmas? Hypothermia

 

Whats the difference between smarties and muslim extremeists? Smarties dont blow up in the tube.

 

Thats just for starters

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I know so many jokes i could tell, some rude, some not so rude.

Ok, just a random joke from me:

 

An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.

 

The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"

 

The stewardess replied: "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!

 

I will most probably post a different joke in this thread everyday for well, forever. ^_^

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Whats red, white, and goes around around around... a baby in a blender.

 

Whats more gross than 12 dead babies nailed to 1 tree... 1 dead baby nailed to 12 different trees.

 

Whats better than being in the special olympics... Watching them.

 

Sorry to anyone that fineds my jokes horrible and distastefull... not really

 

Why is 6 afraid of 7... because 7 8 9!!!

 

youwintheinternet.jpg

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What's brown and sits on the piano?

Beethoven's last movement.

 

Uh, OK. There's these three guys walking on the beach, a spic, a white guy, and a black guy. So they find this pot, rub it, and a genie comes out. The genie says, "You can wish for whatever you want." So he asks the Mexican what he wants, and he says "I want all my people in America to be happy and free, and in Mexico." So the genie goes poof. It's done. Then he says to the black guy, he says to the n****r "What do you want?" and the n****r says, "I want all my n****r brothers to be back in Africa, and happy and free and everything." So the genie goes poof. And they're all back in Africa. So he says to the white guy, "What's your one wish?" And the white guy says, "Wait, you mean to tell me that all the spics and n****rs are out of America?" The genie goes yeah, and the white guy says, uh, "I'll have a Coke, then."

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What's brown and sits on the piano?

Beethoven's last movement.

 

Uh' date=' OK. There's these three guys walking on the beach, a spic, a white guy, and a black guy. So they find this pot, rub it, and a genie comes out. The genie says, "You can wish for whatever you want." So he asks the Mexican what he wants, and he says "I want all my people in America to be happy and free, and in Mexico." So the genie goes poof. It's done. Then he says to the black guy, he says to the jabroni "What do you want?" and the jabroni says, "I want all my jabroni brothers to be back in Africa, and happy and free and everything." So the genie goes poof. And they're all back in Africa. So he says to the white guy, "What's your one wish?" And the white guy says, "Wait, you mean to tell me that all the spics and bastards are out of America?" The genie goes yeah, and the white guy says, uh, "I'll have a Coke, then."

[/quote']

epicly OLD!

it was on the Boondock saints

and dont use the N word >.< its just not cool here

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Lol, now that was funny.

 

Here my joke, i think!

Daddy pee on himself:

Once there was 3 person, mom(kate), dad(bob), and a son(junior) sitting in the car and driving to grandma(Bob mom) and they got long away to go. they final hit the road but Bob forgot to buy apple juice for his son, but they pull over and bob open the trunk and see if he didn't forget, in cooler and there no juice and he grab junior cup and take a leak in it. Later after he done taking a leak in the cup and handle them to junor. Then they hit the road again, and junior notice that not a apple juice, then junior threw his cup at his dad while stopping at the Gas station, while kate was getting the apple juice in the store and got in the car and drove off, and she asked, "What that Smell, honey".

he said "NOTHING" then they final arrive at his mom house...

 

After few min. later he was taking a shower and he said "I better not do that again".

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What's brown and sits on the piano?

Beethoven's last movement.

 

Uh' date=' OK. There's these three guys walking on the beach, a spic, a white guy, and a black guy. So they find this pot, rub it, and a genie comes out. The genie says, "You can wish for whatever you want." So he asks the Mexican what he wants, and he says "I want all my people in America to be happy and free, and in Mexico." So the genie goes poof. It's done. Then he says to the black guy, he says to the jabroni "What do you want?" and the jabroni says, "I want all my jabroni brothers to be back in Africa, and happy and free and everything." So the genie goes poof. And they're all back in Africa. So he says to the white guy, "What's your one wish?" And the white guy says, "Wait, you mean to tell me that all the spics and bastards are out of America?" The genie goes yeah, and the white guy says, uh, "I'll have a Coke, then."

[/quote']

epicly OLD!

it was on the Boondock saints

and dont use the N word >.< its just not cool here

True on both accounts, but there are things like censors anyway. Oh, and that was copypasta anyway. I would never use the word aloud.

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What's brown and sits on the piano?

Beethoven's last movement.

 

Uh' date=' OK. There's these three guys walking on the beach, a spic, a white guy, and a black guy. So they find this pot, rub it, and a genie comes out. The genie says, "You can wish for whatever you want." So he asks the Mexican what he wants, and he says "I want all my people in America to be happy and free, and in Mexico." So the genie goes poof. It's done. Then he says to the black guy, he says to the jabroni "What do you want?" and the jabroni says, "I want all my jabroni brothers to be back in Africa, and happy and free and everything." So the genie goes poof. And they're all back in Africa. So he says to the white guy, "What's your one wish?" And the white guy says, "Wait, you mean to tell me that all the spics and bastards are out of America?" The genie goes yeah, and the white guy says, uh, "I'll have a Coke, then."

[/quote']

epicly OLD!

it was on the Boondock saints

and dont use the N word >.< its just not cool here

 

Since when?

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What's brown and sits on the piano?

Beethoven's last movement.

 

Uh' date=' OK. There's these three guys walking on the beach, a spic, a white guy, and a black guy. So they find this pot, rub it, and a genie comes out. The genie says, "You can wish for whatever you want." So he asks the Mexican what he wants, and he says "I want all my people in America to be happy and free, and in Mexico." So the genie goes poof. It's done. Then he says to the black guy, he says to the jabroni "What do you want?" and the jabroni says, "I want all my jabroni brothers to be back in Africa, and happy and free and everything." So the genie goes poof. And they're all back in Africa. So he says to the white guy, "What's your one wish?" And the white guy says, "Wait, you mean to tell me that all the spics and bastards are out of America?" The genie goes yeah, and the white guy says, uh, "I'll have a Coke, then."

[/quote']

epicly OLD!

it was on the Boondock saints

and dont use the N word >.< its just not cool here

 

Since when?

like the ever

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