Guest Jimbob2998 Posted December 21, 2014 Report Share Posted December 21, 2014 Hello, I love YuGiOh since I was 4 and I discovered this website a few days ago. I have since created several cards, somewhat linked to each other, and I wanted to know what you guys think (any advice will be greatly appreciated.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NitroX Posted December 22, 2014 Report Share Posted December 22, 2014 What kind of support are you after, I mean archetype support? I'm new on this site as well. On bearbearian, if you are increasing his defense, revise the statements to this. 'When Normal Summoned/set, increase this monster's defense by 100 for each monster in the graveyard.'. Spirit of Purity, I'm guessing discard than removed from play dark monsters. And nice immunity effect on field elf warrior! Its a bit lengthy in time though. But very creative all the same! I hope I don't sound rough.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flash Flyer - Sakura Posted December 22, 2014 Report Share Posted December 22, 2014 This is one of the reasons we ask that you refrain from posting OCG fixes unless you know what you're doing. Also, it'll help if you explain why some changes should be made. Anyway, the only way Field Elf's effect is even going to trigger is if you Pendulum Summon it, or by a similar card effect. Remember that you cannot Normal Summon monsters in face-up Defense Position unless it states you can. (Superheavy Benkei is an exception, due to its wording allowing it to be NS'd in face-up Defense). Otherwise, it's a small wall to block your LP (or some Xyz/Synchro fodder), though keep in mind effect removal circumvents it. In most cases, you won't attack with this card anyway and even then, it's not worth sacrificing its attack for three turns; remove the last effect. Spirit of Purity is heavily reliant on you running a DARK Deck, and depending on the situation, either the burn will be sufficient enough OR not worth losing a chunk of your hand. Stat-wise, 2600/2200 on a L6 is quite high; I would reduce it to 2300 ATK at the most. Bearbarian is one of those cards that increase by odd amounts. On a normal basis, values are generally divisible by 100. Given the design, unless in late game (which a good amount of monsters should be in your Grave); it's mostly as a L5 2000 beater; which by modern standards, isn't quite high enough. I recommend changing it to an offensive effect (raise its ATK instead; considering its DEF won't be high enough to block stuff in the long run anyway). I'd also recommend making the boost a round number, like 100 or 200 per monster. It feels cleaner and will have a better impact. With that said, here are the OCG fixes with the suggested fixes. I would advise reading Zaziuma's OCG guide in Advanced, for an idea of how to write it properly. Field Elf "If this card is Summoned from your hand in Defense Position, your opponent cannot target this card for attacks for 2 of their turns. This card cannot declare an attack or be Tributed for 3 of your turns." Spirit of Purity "When this card is Summoned: Banish all DARK monsters in your hand; your opponent takes 300 damage for every card banished by this effect." Bearbarian "This card gains 200 ATK for every monster in your Graveyard." --- Also, DO NOT post your cards as attachments (meaning upload them to your post) Instead, just left-click them in the card maker to generate an IMG code; copy/paste those codes into the thread. That's how you're supposed to post cards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NitroX Posted December 22, 2014 Report Share Posted December 22, 2014 ....sorry... I'm not the best to criticize, if there's a way of doing it, mind show it to me? In the bear I thought she's raising def, the elf one was a bit too lengthy on immunity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flash Flyer - Sakura Posted December 22, 2014 Report Share Posted December 22, 2014 In terms of CnC, basically say something related to the card's effect/design and you're fine. If you make any suggestions, it helps to say why those changes should be done; lends more reasoning to your suggestion. Not going to push you like how the Advanced section is structured (although I've been in there for quite a while now that I tend to grade on that standard even here), but just follow the above. Your comment's fine though. As for Bear, it is raising DEF, based on what the effect says. However, as already mentioned, it's a very slow gain (especially off of base 500) and would probably be better off bolstering that 2000 ATK. OCG is a pain to write for newer members, yes; though you all will learn how to write it correctly in time. The first one was a bit of a hassle to write, even for me [not perfect at it, but more/less adept enough to write it properly]; however I wrote it incorporates the original intent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NitroX Posted December 22, 2014 Report Share Posted December 22, 2014 Thanks. I'll go ahead and keep those tips. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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