Number iC85: 100 effects

[bumpalumpa]

Taken from a reddit post here: http://www.reddit.com/r/yugioh/comments/3aje97/create_your_own_number_ic_card/csdglak

I thought the idea of having 100 effects was funny, so...

 

 

Effects:

 

1. Draw 1 card.
2. Discard 1 card.
3. Special Summon 1 "Dice Jar" from your Deck in face-down defense position.
4. Roll 100 dice and deal damage to your opponent equal to the total rolls of all the dice.
5. Draw 1 card, then your opponent gains 1000 Life Points.
6. Banish all "Djinn" cards in both player's Main and Side Deck
7. Special Summon up to 7 "Number iC7: Nanananananana" on either player's side of the field.
8. Shake hands with your opponent.
9. Sneeze into your hand, then apply the effect as if you rolled an 8.
10. Draw your last pathetic card, Yugi.
11. Prove that your grandpa's deck has no pathetic cards.
12. Start shivering uncontrollably
13. You win the Duel.
14. Your opponent wins the Duel.
15. Everybody's a winner, and that's what matters.
16. Punch your opponent in the face.
17. With your duels, give everyone smiles.
18. Special Summon 1 "Elemental HERO Stratos" from your binder.
19. Place 1 "Snatch Steal" in either player's hand, Deck, Graveyard, banished zone, side of the field, pocket, Side Deck, binder, or butthole on top of your deck; draw 1 card. You win the Duel.
20. If this card has a "Nekroz" card as Xyz Material, add your Deck to your hand.
21. This card's name becomes "Number 39: Utopia". In fact, everything becomes Utopia.
22. Write another 100 effects for this card, the tape them onto the list.
23. Each player staples the top ten cards of their Deck together. If there are less than 10 cards in a player's deck, they must staple their hand to the cards.
24. Each player reveals all Continuous Trap cards in their Deck. Dump them all into the nearest river.
25. If your opponent has a "Yosenju" monster in their hand, they must pilot a plane to Tokyo, using only the cards in their hand.
26. Play the game in a Graveyard. Neither player stands a ghost of a chance.
27. With a face-up "Catapult Turtle, launch your Dragon Champion toward the nearest "Castle" card.
28. Xyz Summon 1 "Number WTFiC 85: Fearful Four-Dimensional Fractal", using this card as Xyz Material.
29. Lick your Hand.
30. Take your Deck, then start throwing cards everywhere.
31. AIBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
32. Deal 800 damage to your opponent.
33. Special Summon 2 "Cyber Dragon" from your Deck.
34. Special Summon 1 suspiciously sticky "Reeze, Whirlwind of Gusto" from your Deck.
35. This card's ATK and DEF become treated as "ultimate"
36. Double your Life Points.
37. Special Summon 3 "Shapesnatch" from your Deck.
38. Each player declares a Dank Meme. The player with the dankest meme wins the Duel.
39. "Mystical Space Typhoon" are treated as Counter Trap cards.
40. Add 1 Level 4 or lower Warrior-Type monster from your Deck to your hand.
41. Your opponent must buy you a "U.A" deck.
42. Set fire to all FIRE monsters on the field.
43. If there is a WIND monster on the field, place an electric fan next to the field and turn it on.
44. Spit on all WATER monsters on the field.
45. Bury all EARTH monsters on the field.
46. If there is a LIGHT monster on the field, shine a laser beam directly into your opponent's eye.
47. If there is a face-up "Space-Time Police" on the field, banish all DARK monsters on the field.
48. If you control a DIVINE monster, yet your opponent still doubts the existence of God, take their fedora and banish it.
49. Burn every card in both players' possession that was released after the end of Yu-Gi-Oh GX.
50. Add 1 "Charizard" to your hand.
51. Each player rolls a die, then Special Summons that die in face-up attack position. If a player says the words "Duel Monsters", they lose the Duel.
52. Kick the table.
53. Flip the table.
54. Be the table.
55. Special Summon 1 credit card or "Nekroz" monster from your wallet.
56. If any player has a Spell/Trap card in their position, their Manliness Points become 0.
57. Castel ;)
58. All "Yuzu", "Rin", and "Serena" cards become treated as "Ruri." Special Summon 1 "Raidraptor" monster from your Extra Deck.
59. Reveal 1 pair of spotted underwear for each "Ojama" monster on the field.
60. Pay 800 Life Points; add 1 "Qliphort" card in your Deck to your hand.
61. With all the powers of Chaos, place 1 "Seventh" card from the depths of entropy on top of your Deck. It becomes the Draw Phase of your next trun.
62. Slap yourself.
63. Change your opponent to face-down Defense Position.
64. Reveal a 6-dimensional superdupercube, then roll it and tear through the very fabric of the universe.
65. Cough really hard.
66. Spend quality time with your kids instead of playing card games.
67. Fart.
68. Turn off all the lights in a mile radius.
69. Special Summon 1 Xyz Monster from your Extra Deck in face-down attack position, then attach 1 "Dark Magician Girl" to it as Xyz Material.
70. Flip 500 coins.
71. Calculate the probability of you rolling this 71 times in a row.
72. Stab a knife through your Deck.
73. All monsters are replaced with "Upstart Goblin"
74. Special Summon 100 "Kuriboh" from wherever the hell you please. Stick 2 in your opponent's eyes
75. Congratulations for reading this far!
76. You're the 1,000,000th viewer! Click here to claim your prize.
77. Special Summon 1 "Elder Entity Norden" from your Extra Deck.
78. Each player must mimic the pose of a human-shaped card in their possession.
79. Kiss your opponent.
80. You gain Life Points equal to the current year.
81. If today is your birthday, flip a coin. If heads, this card gains 50 ATK.
82. Go to bed, then return to the Duel.
83. Hand your opponent $5. You can ignore the rules for the rest of the duel.
84. Stop the duel. Dance.
85. If you have Dino DNA, you win the Duel.
86. "Satellite Cannon" can only be destroyed by "Elemental HERO Neos" or Dinosaur-Type monsters.
87. Stop writing effects.
88. Screw it, I'm tired, roll again.
89. Roll the zoccihedron, come on.
90. Pull out a dictionary and read its entire contents.
91. Novels are now applicable card effects.
92. Each player must duel on a vehicle. If a player crashes, they lose the duel.
93. Take a shower, you smelly mofo.
94. Players with anime card sleeves lose 1000 Life Points.
95. Complain about your opponent's Deck.
96. Create an entirely new type of cards. With magic.
97. Throw a ton of Common cards on the floor, including "Hungry Burger" and "The Six Samurai- Yariza". Taunt your opponent for using trash cards that suit them perfectly.
98. For the rest of the Duel, all monsters summoned from the Extra Deck must be accompanied by a really chunni summon chant.
99. Discard one card that contains a "B" word.
100. You lose the Duel, Match, Tournament, Day, and Life.

 

EDIT: for some reason the lines split up 

[GarlandChaos]

I lost it at the "Add your deck to your hand" effect. XD

[TF2_The_Scout]

Effect number 100:

 

You lose the...life.

 

How do you lose the life?

Also, #84 needs to specify what kind of dance and for how long.

[Trebuchet MS]

Zocchihedron is a bit too uncommon. (Or you can label a golf ball...) Just d% (aka 2 d10s) to work out the effect.

[mariofreak12]

#67: Fart

 

Farting on command is a pretty talented technique. That is one I could not fulfill.

[En-Treaux_Pea]

I like how "Special Summon 1 suspiciously sticky "Reeze, Whirlwind of Gusto" from your Deck" is also number 34.

[Htamret]

You win at joke cards. Nobody can top the ludicrousness of this card. So does the list come with the booster pack/deck or what? Either way, I don't think anybody can top this. Pack it up folks, we're done here.