Depthcrawler

[Atypical-Abbie]

A name which would be a pretty cool death metal band name. A Rank 10 with an an effect that works against monsters Special Summoned from the hand and Extra Deck, as well as a re-direction effect. It's also Aqua-Type/DARK, which is somewhat unique.

 

2 Level 10 monsters
This card's effects can only be applied/resolved while it has Xyz Material. Monsters your opponent  controls that were Special Summoned from the Extra Deck and hand cannot attack and their effects cannot be activated, also they lose 500 ATK and DEF. During either player's turn, when another card or effect is activated that targets this card: You can target 1 Spell/Trap Card you control that would be an appropriate target for that card/effect; that card/effect now targets the new target. During each of your End Phases: Detach 1 Xyz Material from this card.

[ÆƵ–]

That OCG looks awfully funky. Perhaps I could try and fix it?

 

 

2 Level 10 monsters
Monsters your opponent control that were Special Summoned from the hand or Extar Deck cannot attack, also they lose 500 ATK and DEF. Monsters your opponent control that were Special Summoned from the Deck, Graveyard, Banished Zone, or field gain 500 ATK and DEF. During either player's turn, when a card or effect that targets this card is activated: you can target 1 Spell/ Trap Card you control that would be an appropriate target for that card/effect; that card/effect now targets the new target. During your End Phase: detatch 1 Xyz Material from this card. While this card has no Xyz Materials, negate its effects.

 

Now then, a probably small review

 

This thing, being Rank 10, is really only summonable by trains or a custom Archetype that can spit out 10s. Since trains are more of an aggro deck, this card doesn't really seem to fit. The stats are good for its level, and the effect is interesting, but overall the card is a bit lack-luster since it has top compete with other rank 10s for space in the extra that would go for trains playstyle better. Perhaps you could have the target switch be on anything you control, or even further, anything on the field at all?

[Azuriena]

That OCG looks awfully funky. Perhaps I could try and fix it?

"This card's effects can only be applied/resolved while it has Xyz Material" is valid; see existing examples in the TCG/OCG such as Tiras; your PSCT suggestion does not replicate the result of the original card. You spelt "Extra Deck" wrong. "Monsters your opponent control that were Special Summoned from the Deck, Graveyard, Banished Zone, or field gain 500 ATK and DEF" can just be "Special Summoned monsters your opponent controls that were not Special Summoned from the hand or Extra Deck." (Also, the "Banished Zone" is not a thing.) "That targets this card" should be placed after "is activated". The first word following a colon should be capitalised (there are 2 cases here). "Spell/ Trap Card" should be "Spell/Trap Card".

 

Everything else you changed should be valid (there are 2 cases here). 1 of them changes the way the card works, by switching the effect to affect monsters rather than the player. IMO this is better, but it's still no longer solely a PSCT issue, so it's up to OP's discretion. (For the record, the other case is the mandatory detach effect's activation conditions.)

 

In addition, Depthcrawler should state "face-up monsters" for monsters Special Summoned from a location. And "During your End Phase: Detach ..." / "During each of your End Phases: Detach..." should be "Once per turn, during your End Phase: Detach ..."

 

Obligatory comments on the card because of AC: The card itself expands the Rank 10 toolbox, but Number 81 should reign supreme. Its effects are kind of niche, and not especially effective against the most prominent Extra Deck monsters, Rank 4 Xyz Monsters (apart from S39, really). In response to Kitty's suggestion, there isn't much reason to make it a better Cairngorgon (both by having a bigger body / having a better retargeting effect, on top of its additional effects, and in spite of requiring Material) even if it is a different Rank.

[Dokutah]

"This card's effects can only be applied/resolved while it has Xyz Material" is valid; see existing examples in the TCG/OCG such as Tiras; your PSCT suggestion does not replicate the result at all. You spelt "Extra Deck" wrong. "Monsters your opponent control that were Special Summoned from the Deck, Graveyard, Banished Zone, or field gain 500 ATK and DEF" can just be "Special Summoned monsters your opponent controls that were not Special Summoned from the hand or Extra Deck." (Also, the "Banished Zone" is not a thing.) "That targets this card" should be placed after "is activated". The first word following a colon should be capitalised (there are 2 cases here). "Spell/ Trap Card" should be "Spell/Trap Card".

 

Everything else you changed should be valid (there are 2 cases here). 1 of them changes the way the card works, by switching the effect to affect monsters rather than the player. IMO this is better, but it's still no longer solely a PSCT issue, so it's up to OP's discretion. (For the record, the other case is the mandatory detach effect's activation conditions.)

 

In addition, Depthcrawler should state "face-up monsters" for monsters Special Summoned from a location. And "During your End Phase: Detach ..." / "During each of your End Phases: Detach..." should be "Once per turn, during your End Phase: Detach ..."

 

Obligatory comments on the card because of AC: The card itself expands the Rank 10 toolbox, but Number 81 should reign supreme. Its effects are kind of niche, and not especially effective against the most prominent Extra Deck monsters, Rank 4 Xyz Monsters (apart from S39, really). In response to Kitty's suggestion, there isn't much reason to make it a better Cairngorgon (both by having a bigger body / having a better retargeting effect) even if it is a different Rank.

 

 

That OCG looks awfully funky. Perhaps I could try and fix it?

 

Now then, a probably small review

 

This thing, being Rank 10, is really only summonable by trains or a custom Archetype that can spit out 10s. Since trains are more of an aggro deck, this card doesn't really seem to fit. The stats are good for its level, and the effect is interesting, but overall the card is a bit lack-luster since it has top compete with other rank 10s for space in the extra that would go for trains playstyle better. Perhaps you could have the target switch be on anything you control, or even further, anything on the field at all?

 

i can't lie that i smile a bit reading this since i don't find any flaw on its wording...especially since the maker happen to be the 1 in charge of an active thead about OCG/PSCT (just look at its sig)

although to be fair minority of the fixes have a bit logic behind it.... but its not the logic that this card is intended

 

as for the card:

it punish the popular play-style of Pendulum and Extra Deck heavy deck in general. a global 500 cut is quite standard and quite worrying in right situation. its has a battle protection for again, pendulum and extra deck monster and alternative Cainrgorgon kind of target protection (something that i personally like) it can be use to trigger on field Special Schedule in respond of destruction effect in Trains (which kinda the only deck this card can call home) to further setup 81 or 35 to go tandem with this card. its also basically a Zaborg with Decarine or a quick search with Ruffian which is nice

 

2500/3000 stat it both nice but not to over bearing its still small enough to be steam-rolled by Normal Summon Deck (mostly Monarch) or Dragon/Felgrand (which the only recent deck i can think for a while that can combat this card + getting boosted)

[Atypical-Abbie]

Made some changes to the card.

[Azuriena]

The retargeting effect can be problematic if a card effect is activated that targets multiple cards, especially those involving first and second targets. Something along the lines of "During either player's turn, when a card or effect is activated that targets this card: You can target 1 Spell/Trap Card you control that would be an appropriate target for that card/effect instead of this card; that card/effect now targets the new target instead of this card" might be better.

 

One more thing to note is "another card or effect" rather than just "card or effect" is probs not needed, because this effect is not as flexible as Cairngorgon in choosing new targets. That is, you can't target Depthcrawler to infinitely activate its effect anyway.

[Atypical-Abbie]

The retargeting effect can be problematic if a card effect is activated that targets multiple cards, especially those involving first and second targets. Something along the lines of "During either player's turn, when a card or effect is activated that targets this card: You can target 1 Spell/Trap Card you control that would be an appropriate target for that card/effect instead of this card; that card/effect now targets the new target instead of this card" might be better.

 

One more thing to note is "another card or effect" rather than just "card or effect" is probs not needed, because this effect is not as flexible as Cairngorgon in choosing new targets. That is, you can't target Depthcrawler to infinitely activate its effect anyway.

Well, it's meant to only re-direct its own target, not the others. Maybe there's something I'm not getting, but I don't see the different in your text compared to mine too much. As for what you said below, yeah I suppose that's true, but I can't be bothered right now.

[Azuriena]

Well, it's meant to only re-direct its own target, not the others. Maybe there's something I'm not getting, but I don't see the different in your text compared to mine too much. As for what you said below, yeah I suppose that's true, but I can't be bothered right now.

"That card/effect now targets the new target" can imply that the card effect now targets the new target only, even if it targeted 2+ cards originally. For card effects that do different things to different targets, this can be a problem. It really doesn't imply what you say it does, especially because the target you target with Depthcrawler doesn't have to be an appropriate target for Depthcrawler. That is, if a card effect targets Depthcrawler and another card, and has different conditions for each target, Depthcrawler can choose a target that would be an appropriate replacement for the other card targeted, and not itself, according to its current wording.

 

Going over the card:

 

2 Level 10 monsters

This card's effects can only be applied/resolved while it has Xyz Material. Face-up[1] monsters your opponent[2] controls that were Special Summoned from the hand[3] or[4] Extra Deck cannot attack,[5] they cannot activate their effects[10], also they lose 500 ATK and DEF. During either player's turn, when a[6] card or effect is activated that targets this card: You can target 1 Spell/Trap Card you control that would be an appropriate target for that card/effect instead of this card[7]; that card/effect now targets the new target instead of this card[8]. Once per turn[9], during your End Phase: Detach 1 Xyz Material from this card.

 

[1] Only face-up monsters can be considered to be Special Summoned from the hand/ED. See Nekroz monsters, also this is the same concept as effects that negate the effects of cards on the field.

[2] You have an additional space inserted.

[3] The hand is usually mentioned before the Extra Deck.

[4] "And" would imply each monster needs to be Special Summoned from both locations.

[5] Separate with commas rather than random use of "ands," "alsos," and/or "buts." This is recent/updated usage AFAIK, but it's nice. First example to look at from the top of my head is Kozmo Lightsword. Phantom Knights' Fog Blade as well.

[6], [7], and [8] Explained.

[9] Recent/updated usage. See newly reprinted Ligntsworn monsters.

[10] I missed this one; it's more appropriate considering how everything else is formatted (that is, it affects the monster). See Odd-Eyes Meteorburst. For the record, flanked by those commas was originally "their effects cannot be activated".

[Atypical-Abbie]

"That card/effect now targets the new target" can imply that the card effect now targets the new target only, even if it targeted 2+ cards originally. For card effects that do different things to different targets, this can be a problem. It really doesn't imply what you say it does, especially because the target you target with Depthcrawler doesn't have to be an appropriate target for Depthcrawler. That is, if a card effect targets Depthcrawler and another card, and has different conditions for each target, Depthcrawler can choose a target that would be an appropriate replacement for the other card targeted, and not itself, according to its current wording.

 

Going over the card:

I suppose that's true, I'll change it later.

 

For your things about my card, these seem rather nit-picky and none of what you have said is something that's important. I'm glad to take interest in proper PSCT, but the user isn't going to notice, what you have said is not worth me changing at this moment.

[Azuriena]

I suppose that's true, I'll change it later.

 

For your things about my card, these seem rather nit-picky and none of what you have said is something that's important. I'm glad to take interest in proper PSCT, but the user isn't going to notice, what you have said is not worth me changing at this moment.

Authenticity is important (I'm a user too), also it aids readability/productivity. I didn't mention any of that because they were a priority, but they're definitely valid contributions.