endlord(s) (need help with OCG)

[Chaosix]

so this is an archetype that someone made during the archetype maker game, but i cant completely make the OCG, and i also want feedback before a make the entire archetype.

 

 

 

 

Endlord des lumières

light

level 12

fairy

2000 atk/2000 def

You can only control 1 face-up "endlord des lumieres". the special summon of this monster cannot be negated. Cannot be special summoned, except by its own effect. Once per turn you may banish this card (from your hand), and pay 2000 life points, if you do, after 2 of your turns, you may special summon this card. When this card is special summoned, you may destroy up to 3 cards on the field.

[Dova]

Cannot be Normal Summoned/Set. Cannot be special summoned, except by its own effect. The special summon of this monster cannot be negated. You can only control 1 face-up "Endlord Des Lumieres". Once per turn: You can banish this card (from your hand), and pay 2000 life points; Special Summon this banished card at the start of your second Main Phase after this effect's activation. When this card is Special Summoned: You can destroy up to 3 cards on the field.

 

We try to use can instead of may. Remember to use colons and semicolons! There's a neat piece on OCG in the Advanced Singles section. Changes made are in bold. I assume you wanted it to only be Summonable by its own effect. If not, take out the first sentence.

 

I can't comment on this card too much, as it's not too powerful on its own. Perhaps post the idea as whole? But yeah, it does seem to be pulled from the prompt, and if you make more, I could see where this would go.

[Trebuchet MS]

"Endlords are high-level monsters have a timer on them, and after a certain amount of time has passed, you get a whopping effect, like massive effect damage, or a free, no-restrictions summon from your deck! They can combine into a Fusion monster with a win condition not unlike Final Countdown. They are based off the various gods of death and/or the apocalypse throughout the world. For maximum effectiveness, use Pyro Clock of Destiny to speed up the cards and Wall of Revealing Light to slow your opponent down!"

 

Well, this is one way to do it, giving them a "suspend" effect to go with the time-delay things. Be mindful - due to the strange ways in which Pyro Clock of Destiny works, this card won't interact properly with it unless the effect explicitly reads "turn".