Proltvkun Posted January 11, 2017 Report Share Posted January 11, 2017 hello this is my third archetype, with 11 cards (Holy crap i never do archetypes with at least 15 cards O_o!) and i made with an idea that maybe be too op so i have mind open to sugestion/nerfsIf you are Sleepy, the idea is inspirated in your name, so thanks for inspire me. Sleepy have at least the 50% of the credit cause he reworked, reworded, balanced, buffed, and nerfed the cards, i only have the original cards ideas and the archetype idea Lore:This archetype is an representation of the idea that is somebody sleeping, he is quiet, with an deep dream and dont notice your existance.When you start to reduce their life points, he takes it like you are annoying him, and when his patience ends, he rage into you an get his vengance, with an blow on your head (leave your life points in zero), to go back to sleep in peace. Gameplay stile:While you have high lp, the archetype will play in an defensive form, and thanks to defensive effs, during that time the archetype will agroup an great number of monsters, or will have grat combos in hand, but when your lp reach 4000 or lower, the cards gain offensive effects and (like in the lore) they will attack you, get their revenge leaving you on 0 lp.the most number of monster cards have three basic effs:°an defensive eff°an eff that do something and gain 1000 lp or do something more op and pay 1000 lp°an eff while your lp is 4000 or lower Monsters: Sleepy BunnyEARTH Level 3 [beast/Effect] ATK 700/ 600 DEF/ While your LP are 4000 or less, it can attack directly. If it inflicts battle damage to your opponent: You can Special Summon 1 "Sleepy" monster from your Deck or Graveyard. When flipped face-up, apply one of these.-This card cannot be destroyed by battle or by card effects until your next End Phase.-Pay 1000 LP, Add 1 "Sleepy" card from your Deck to your hand. Sleepy CatEARTH Level 4 [beast/Effect] ATK/ 1200 DEF/ 1800Cannot be destroyed by card effects. While your LP are 4000 or less, it gains 800 ATK and can attack twice per Battle Phase. If this card is added to your hand by the effect of a "Sleep" card: Special Summon it. If destroyed by battle or by a card effect, you can apply one of these:-Gain 1000 LP-Pay 1000 LP. Sleepy DogEARTH Level 4 [beast/Effect] ATK/ 1600 DEF/ 1000All "Sleepy" monsters you control gain 100 ATK and DEF for each "Sleepy Dog" on the field or in any Graveyard. While your LP are 4000 or less, this card inflicts piercing battle damage. If this card is destroyed by battle or by a card effect, apply one of these (you can only use this effect of "Sleepy Dog" once per turn).-Pay 1000 LP; Special Summon up to 2 "Sleepy Dog" from your Deck.-Shuffle anyl"Sleepy Dog" from your Graveyard into your Deck, and if you do, gain 1000 LP. Sleepy KoalaEARTH Level 4 [beast/Effect] ATK/ 1000 DEF/ 1000You can Normal Summon 1 additional "Sleepy" monster (you can only gain this effect once per turn). While your LP are 4000 or less, this card gains 500 ATK for each "Sleepy" monster you control. When Normal Summoned, you can apply one of these.-Gain 1000 LP.-Pay 1000 LP; add 1 "Sleep" Spell or Trap Card from your Deck to your hand. Sleepy PandaEARTH Level 6 [beast/Effect] ATK/ 1200 DEF/ 2300Once per turn, during either player's turn: You can target 1 face-up "Sleep" card on the field; that card cannot be destroyed by battle or by card effects once this turn. While your LP are 4000 or less, it gains 400 ATK for each "Sleep" card in your Graveyard. While "Cycle of Sleep - NREM" is on the field, each time you pay LP to activate the effect of a "Sleep" card: You can draw 1 card. You can only activate this effect of "Sleepy Panda" up to thrice per turn. Sleepy TurtleEARTH Level 4 [beast/Effect] ATK/ 0 DEF/ 2000If this card would be destroyed by battle, you can pay 1000 LP instead. Your opponent cannot target "Sleepy" monsters, except "Sleepy Turtle" for an attack. When your LP become 4000 or less: Switch this card's original ATK and DEF. When Summoned or flipped face-up, if your LP are 4000 or less: Switch this card's original ATK and DEF. When this card's ATK changes by its own effect: You can add 1 "Sleep" card from your Deck or Graveyard to your hand. Sleepy TigerEARTH Level 9 [beast/Effect] ATK/ ? DEF/ 0Can be Tribute Summoned by Tributing 1 "Sleepy" monster (from your hand or field) and paying 1000 LP. When this card is Summoned: You can send 1 "Sleepy" monster from your Deck to the Graveyard, and if you do, this card's original ATK and DEF become equal to that card's. Also, this card gains that monster's effect and is treated as that card's name. Once per turn, while your LP are 4000 or less: You can discard 1 card to target 1 "Sleep" monster in your Graveyard; Special Summon it in Defense Position. Spells: Cycle of Sleep - NREM[Field Spell Card]Sleepy" monsters gain 400 ATK and DEF. Once per turn, if battle damage would cause your LP to become less than 4000, they become 4000 instead. Sleep Walking[Equip Spell Card]Equip only to a "Sleepy" monster. The equipped monster can use its effect as if your LP were 4000 or less. Water Bucket Interrupts Your Sleep![Quick-play Spell Card]If you control a "Sleepy" monster: You can have your LP become 4000 LP. The next time your LP would change, your LP become the amount you had when this card was activated instead Traps: Why You Wake Me Up From My Sleep?! [Counter Trap Card]Activate only while your LP are 4000 or less: Discard 1 card; send 1 monster your opponent controls to the Graveyard, and if you do, Special Summon 1 "Sleepy" monster from your Deck in Defense Position. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Proltvkun Posted January 12, 2017 Author Report Share Posted January 12, 2017 bump Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Proltvkun Posted January 13, 2017 Author Report Share Posted January 13, 2017 bump Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sleepy Posted January 13, 2017 Report Share Posted January 13, 2017 I'm gonna give my review in 2 parts.On your previous thread, I had a hard time understanding the cards due to the wording, and the layout of the stats frankly distracted me a lot. This time I am getting that out of the way first. I have a specially hard time reviewing threads with a lot of cards in them.I'll come back to this thread to make suggestions and give opinions, but for now I'm leaving this post here.Keep in mind, I just re-worded them, I did not change any of the effects or suggest anything as of right now. Also, I don't recommend you BUMP your thread like that. If the thread is still on top of the page, it won't make a real difference. [spoiler=Your cards re-worded]Sleepy BunnyEARTH Level 3 [beast/Effect] ATK/ 600 DEF/ 700Cannot be destroyed by battle or by card effects during the turn it is flipped face-up. While your LP are 4000 or less, it can attack directly. If it inflicts battle damage to your opponent: You can add 1 "Sleep" card from your Deck to your hand. When flipped face-up, apply one of these:-Add 1 "Sleepy" monster from your Deck or Graveyard to your hand.-Pay 1000 LP: Special Summon 1 "Sleepy" monster from your Deck or Graveyard. Sleepy CatEARTH Level 4 [beast/Effect] ATK/ 1200 DEF/ 1800Cannot be destroyed by card effects. While your LP are 4000 or less, it gains 800 ATK and can attack twice per Battle Phase. If this card is added to your hand by the effect of a "Sleep" card: Special Summon it. If destroyed by battle or by a card effect, you can apply one of these:-Gain 1000 LP-Pay 1000 LP. Sleepy DogEARTH Level 4 [beast/Effect] ATK/ 1600 DEF/ 1000While your LP are 4000 or less, it gains 400 ATK, and place 1 Rage Counter when this card declares an attack. During each of your Standby Phases: Inflict 300 damage to your opponent for each Rage Counter on the field.If this card is destroyed by battle or by a card effect, apply one of these (you can only use this effect of "Sleepy Dog" once per turn).-Gain 1000 LP, then Special Summon up to 2 "Sleepy Dog" from your Deck.-Pay 1000 LP: Special Summon up to 2 "Sleepy Dog" from your Deck or Graveyard. Sleepy KoalaEARTH Level 4 [beast/Effect] ATK/ 1000 DEF/ 1000You can Normal Summon 1 additional"Sleepy" monster (you can only gain this effect once per turn). While your LP are 4000 or less, this card gains 500 ATK for each "Sleepy" monster you control. When Normal Summoned, you can apply one of these.-Gain 1000 LP.-Pay 1000 LP: Add 1 "Sleep" card from your Deck to your hand. Sleepy PandaEARTH Level 6 [beast/Effect] ATK/ 1200 DEF/ 2300Face-up "Sleep" cards on the field cannot be destroyed by battle or by card effects, except "Sleepy Panda". While your LP are 4000 or less, it gains 400 ATK for each "Sleep" card in your Graveyard. While "Cycle of Sleep - NREM" is on the field, each time you pay LP to activate the effect of a "Sleep" card: You can draw 1 card. You can only activate this effect of "Sleepy Panda" up to 3 times per turn. Sleepy TurtleEARTH Level 4 [beast/Effect] ATK/ 0 DEF/ 2000Cannot be destroyed by battle. While you control no other cards: You can pay 1000 LP; It cannot be destroyed by card effects until the End Phase. While your LP are 4000 or less, this card's original ATK and DEF are switched. When this card's ATK changes by its own effect: You can add 1 "Sleep" card from your Deck or Graveyard to your hand. Once per turn, when this card is attacked: Add 1 "Sleep" card from your Deck to your hand. Sleepy TigerEARTH Level 9 [beast/Effect] ATK/ ? DEF/ 0Cannot be Special Summoned. Can be Tribute Summoned by Tributing 1 "Sleepy" monster, and discarding 1 "Sleepy" monster from your hand. When this card is Summoned: Its ATK becomes the current difference between both players' LP. While your LP are 4000 or less, this card's ATK instead becomes the difference between your current LP and 8000. If this card is destroyed by battle or by a card effect: Shuffle 3 "Sleep" cards from your Graveyard into your Deck. Cycle of Sleep - NREM[Field Spell Card]"Sleepy" monsters gain 700 DEF. Once per Duel, if battle damage would cause your LP to become less than 4000: They become 4000 instead. Sleep Walking[Equip Spell Card]Equip only to a "Sleepy" monster, except "Sleepy Tiger". The equipped monster can use its effect as if your LP were 4000 or less. Water Bucket Interrupts Your Sleep![spell Card]If you control a "Sleepy" monster and your LP are more than 4000: You can have your LP become 4000, and if you do, you cannot lose LP. Then, during the End Phase, your LP become equal to the LP you had when this card was activated, -4000. Why You Wake Me Up From My Sleep?! [Counter Trap Card]If your LP become 4000 or less: Discard 1 card and banish 2 cards from your Graveyard; Send 1 monster your opponenent controls to the Graveyard, and if you do, Special Summon 1 "Sleepy" monster from your Deck in Attack Position. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Proltvkun Posted January 13, 2017 Author Report Share Posted January 13, 2017 oh, thanks SiS, i donow that SiS ty for rewording them Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sleepy Posted January 14, 2017 Report Share Posted January 14, 2017 Ok, time to post my suggestions and opinions on it.It seems the pattern is the following.A ) Unlocks effect late game (when your LP are 4000 or less)B ) Once per turn, chooses between an effect that costs 1000 LP and an effect without a LP cost. This to further the goal of unlocking effect A.Now let's see... Oh, almost forgot:Si te cuesta trabajo entender lo que escribo, puedes preguntarme sobre detalles y lo puedo traducir al Español y de paso tambien explicarlo un poco mas. Pero este comentario en tu set lo tengo que escribir en Ingles aqui. Asi que si tienes dudas, no dudes en preguntar~ Sleepy BunnyEARTH Level 3 [beast/Effect] ATK/ 600 DEF/ 700Cannot be destroyed by battle or by card effects during the turn it is flipped face-up. While your LP are 4000 or less, it can attack directly. If it inflicts battle damage to your opponent: You can add 1 "Sleep" card from your Deck to your hand. When flipped face-up, apply one of these:-Add 1 "Sleepy" monster from your Deck or Graveyard to your hand.-Pay 1000 LP: Special Summon 1 "Sleepy" monster from your Deck or Graveyard. It isn't per say broken, my suggestion in this one is to tone down the searching or fuse the protection effect. Like replacing the applied effect with no LP cost for the protection clause, and boost it up a bit. I also suggest you swap the Special Summon effect with the adding effect, that way you get Hydrogeddon-like monsters for your battle AND require the flip and LP cost for the better searcher. Not to mention giving the Special Summon effect to the flip would mean you'd be getting a wall regardless of your choice, and that makes it a little mindless if we leave it like that. It'd look something like this: While your LP are 4000 or less, it can attack directly. If it inflicts battle damage to your opponent: You can Special Summon 1 "Sleepy" monster from your Deck or Graveyard. When flipped face-up, apply one of these.-This card cannot be destroyed by battle or by card effects until your next End Phase.-Pay 1000 LP; Add 1 "Sleep" card from your Deck to your hand. Also, I just noticed I made a mistake, after "Pay 1000 LP" there is supposed to be a semi-colon, not a colon. I'll correct that in every entry xD Sleepy CatEARTH Level 4 [beast/Effect] ATK/ 1200 DEF/ 1800Cannot be destroyed by card effects. While your LP are 4000 or less, it gains 800 ATK and can attack twice per Battle Phase. If this card is added to your hand by the effect of a "Sleep" card: Special Summon it. If destroyed by battle or by a card effect, you can apply one of these.-Gain 1000 LP-Pay 1000 LP. So it is a 2000 ATK double attacker that cannot be destroyed by card effects This would be pretty cool with "Ties of the Brethren" or "Inferno Reckless Summon" in this deck full of Beast Level 4s with low original ATK, especially if one wanted to make a troll field-destroying deck with "Torrential Tribute", "Needle Ceiling", "Dark Hole", and similar cards.The self-Special Summon effect is pretty solid, especially giving you an 1800 DEF wall in combination with Sleepy Bunny, and potentially protecting you the same while thinning your deck, which is always a plus. The effect when destroyed is also pretty neat. You either heal some LP to keep paying for other effects, or lose 1000 if you really need to unlock the "4000 LP or less" effects. It would obviously be a stronger effect if it did something for that cost, but the rest of the card is already so well rounded in my opinion, that it is fair that it just takes away the 1000 LP to no effect. Having a choice is always a good thing, especially when the archetype revolves around that condition. Good job xD Sleepy DogEARTH Level 4 [beast/Effect] ATK/ 1600 DEF/ 1000While your LP are 4000 or less, it gains 400 ATK, and place 1 Rage Counter when this card declares an attack. During each of your Standby Phases: Inflict 300 damage to your opponent for each Rage Counter on the field.If this card is destroyed by battle or by a card effect, apply one of these (you can only use this effect of "Sleepy Dog" once per turn).-Gain 1000 LP, then Special Summon up to 2 "Sleepy Dog" from your Deck.-Pay 1000 LP; Special Summon up to 2 "Sleepy Dog" from your Deck or Graveyard. This can pretty much outclass Sleepy Cat in the the ability to Special Summon. I have a couple issues with this one. The "pay 1000 LP" option is pretty much always going to be better. Not only does it have all the capabilities of the "gain 100 LP" option, but it furthers your Deck's unlockable effects. There is also the Rage Counters, which to be honest are a bit random here. It is a weak effect if it needs to be unlocked (4000 LP or less) and attack, then survive until your next turn, just to start up with an extra 300 damage. Too much work. Even if it becomes 2000 ATK, it is not quite enough. This card seems to aim to be a beater, with dogs being bigger than bunnies or cats so it makes sense. I suggest you ditch the part where it needs counters to burn, and change the ATK boost to itself to an overall ATK boost for your archetype. Probably have one of those two be the unlock (4000 LP or less) effect, and the other be a regular one just to give the card something to do. My other suggestion is that you change the "pay/gain 1000 LP" effect options so that the choices are more balanced in respect with one another. As it is right now, by the time you want to gain LP, it'll be later in the duel and you will not have 2 Dogs in your Deck, and when you want to lose LP to get closer to 4000, it'll be as soon as possible early game so that option Summoning "from the Deck or Graveyard" makes it fully superior. Oh, and up the original ATK a little bit. My suggestion would look along the lines of: ATK 1900All "Sleepy" monsters you control gain 100 ATK and DEF for each "Sleepy Dog" on the field or in any Graveyard. While your LP are 4000 or less, this card inflicts piercing battle damage. If this card is destroyed by battle or by a card effect, apply one of these (you can only use this effect of "Sleepy Dog" once per turn).-Pay 1000 LP; Special Summon up to 2 "Sleepy Dog" from your Deck.-Shuffle anyl"Sleepy Dog" from your Graveyard into your Deck, and if you do, gain 1000 LP. ^one of them recovers your LP and recycles your dogs at the cost of fattening your Deck (keep in mind that the one being destroyed is not included because it hasn't touched the Graveyard yet, it'll only help you do it with the copies that were already there) OR pay LP to swarm.Also, the first dog is 2000 ATK, but the other two will boost your side by 300 ATK each so both will be 2500 ATK and become a little harder to take down. If you manage to have all 3 on the field, the 3 of them will be 2800 ATK each, which is almost like having 3 Blue-Eyes White Dragons on the field.The unlock effect will then make them all pierce through Defense Position monsters.What do you think? Sleepy KoalaEARTH Level 4 [beast/Effect] ATK/ 1000 DEF/ 1000You can Normal Summon 1 additional "Sleepy" monster (you can only gain this effect once per turn). While your LP are 4000 or less, this card gains 500 ATK for each "Sleepy" monster you control. When Normal Summoned, you can apply one of these.-Gain 1000 LP.-Pay 1000 LP: Add 1 "Sleep" card from your Deck to your hand. A little weird that a Koala has even more ATK but I'll take it as it taking a long time to digest the leaves (4000 LP or less) as the flavor. It is 1500 ATK on its own, and can have up to 3500 ATK. It is alright. Double Summon is gonna be effective. I like. If I had to suggest something, I recommend the effect that searches be only for "Sleep" Spell or Trap Cards. You already have about enough to search the monsters with, and this card being a Stratos on-Summon with a double Normal Summon ability means you'll be using it a lot. It doesn't need to search you another Koala to Summon and then search again. Other than that, it's fine. It'd look like this (basically almost the same).You can Normal Summon 1 additional "Sleepy" monster (you can only gain this effect once per turn). While your LP are 4000 or less, this card gains 500 ATK for each "Sleepy" monster you control. When Normal Summoned, you can apply one of these.-Gain 1000 LP.-Pay 1000 LP; add 1 "Sleep" Spell or Trap Card from your Deck to your hand. Sleepy PandaEARTH Level 6 [beast/Effect] ATK/ 1200 DEF/ 2300Face-up "Sleep" cards on the field cannot be destroyed by battle or by card effects, except "Sleepy Panda". While your LP are 4000 or less, it gains 400 ATK for each "Sleep" card in your Graveyard. While "Cycle of Sleep - NREM" is on the field, each time you pay LP to activate the effect of a "Sleep" card: You can draw 1 card. You can only activate this effect of "Sleepy Panda" up to thrice per turn. Card is completely fine in my opinion. It needs the archetype's unlock (4000 LP or less) to have the ATK boost, and the ATK boost is more tame than one would think since cards don't seem to stay too much in the Graveyard or add up very quickly. Then the drawing effect requires another card's presence to work, and even if it didn't, the paying effects of "Sleepy" monsters so far are reactive. You can't really spam or even consistently trigger them up. I doubt players will be maxing out on that "thrice per turn" part. It only is left with the protection effect most of the time, and if that's the case it kind of deserves to have something going for it. On paper it even might be a little too defensive or require a little too much setup, but it's not bad enough that people wouldn't try it out. I recommend though, that it instead targets 1 card for protection similarly to Stardust Spark Dragon, and I say this after having just read Sleepy Turtle (it'll make more sense one you see what I wrote for Sleepy Turtle). It'd look something like this (with this change it can also now defend itself once).Once per turn, during either player's turn: You can target 1 face-up "Sleep" card on the field; that card cannot be destroyed by battle or by card effects once this turn. While your LP are 4000 or less, it gains 400 ATK for each "Sleep" card in your Graveyard. While "Cycle of Sleep - NREM" is on the field, each time you pay LP to activate the effect of a "Sleep" card: You can draw 1 card. You can only activate this effect of "Sleepy Panda" up to thrice per turn. Sleepy TurtleEARTH Level 4 [beast/Effect] ATK/ 0 DEF/ 2000Cannot be destroyed by battle. While you control no other cards: You can pay 1000 LP; It cannot be destroyed by card effects until the End Phase. While your LP are 4000 or less, this card's original ATK and DEF are switched. When this card's ATK changes by its own effect: You can add 1 "Sleep" card from your Deck or Graveyard to your hand. Once per turn, when this card is attacked: Add 1 "Sleep" card from your Deck to your hand. This one is hard to properly word. The unlock (4000 LP or less) effects in the entire archetype so far are usually continuous conditions that start taking effect when you meet the condition of having 4000 LP or less. They never "activate". This means that the effect that triggers when the turtle's ATK and DEF are swapped is not worded correctly. Frankly speaking I have no idea how to word it since that one has no other choice but to be a trigger effect. It is also clearly meant to be used as a quick effect every time the player jumps back and forth between having more than or less than 4000 LP. In a sense I do like the concept behind this card. It is a decent wall, and can become an even better wall by risking having nothing else on board.Though by the same coin, it can easily stall with minimal investment until you meet your deck's unlock requirements (4000 LP or less), and that doesn't sound right. Why is this a Beast-Type? It's a turtle xDIt isn't likely that this card will be attacked unless it gets its effect negated so the last searching effect is kind of pointless, especially because it can't be destroyed by battle, making it even less likely to be attacked. My suggestions are:-Make its protection have a constant cost instead of a permanent "can't be destroyed" clause. That will encourage your opponent to want to destroy it. 1000 LP sounds about hefty enough to make it happen, and would go with the rest of the archetype's pattern/theme. Not only that but making it tank multiple times per turn like this will finally give you a member of the archetype that can get you draws with the effect of Sleepy Panda.That is if you do go ahead with my suggestion on Sleepy Panda that is. The trick is to never target the Turtle with Panda's effect, unless you want to have a free protection shot at no LP cost, which can happen. -Give it an barrier effect similar to "Magician's Valkyria" or "Dupe Frog" from the real life game. It'd look something like: If this card would be destroyed by battle, you can pay 1000 LP instead. Your opponent cannot target "Sleepy" monsters, except "Sleepy Turtle" for an attack. When your LP become 4000 or less: Switch this card's original ATK and DEF. When Summoned or flipped face-up, if your LP are 4000 or less: Switch this card's original ATK and DEF. When this card's ATK changes by its own effect: You can add 1 "Sleep" card from your Deck or Graveyard to your hand. ^That's the only way I could word the searching effect. Even so, I wasn't able to word something that could make it so that having more than 4000 LP returns it to normal, at least not without potentially erasing bonuses like Dog's boost... For now, I think it is better this way anyways to prevent abuse, and because this is the single most broad searcher of the archetype, being able to search anything. Sleepy TigerEARTH Level 9 [beast/Effect] ATK/ ? DEF/ 0Cannot be Special Summoned. Can be Tribute Summoned by Tributing 1 "Sleepy" monster, and discarding 1 "Sleepy" monster from your hand. When this card is Summoned: Its ATK becomes the current difference between both players' LP. While your LP are 4000 or less, this card's ATK instead becomes the difference between your current LP and 8000. If this card is destroyed by battle or by a card effect: Shuffle 3 "Sleep" cards from your Graveyard into your Deck. Not really a big fan of this card in particular. It cannot be Special Summoned, it basically Tributes the other monster from your hand and requires you to still only Tribute "Sleepy" monsters for its easy Summon, and it is really just a big beater, and the other "Sleepy" monsters can pretty much manage without it. What is more, the ATK boost isn't very consistent either. If both players are low enough, it might have somewhere around 900 ATK, and if you go under 4000 ATK, that's when it then becomes outrageously big with potentially 5000+ ATK. Even so, very much just a beater. Doesn't really work with the archetype, and rather it becomes a solo boss for a LP deck.The recycling effect is counterproductive for the deck outside of Sleepy Dog...The suggestions I'd make on this one would pretty much turn it into a completely different card so I'd say just over-write it all. In my opinion they don't really need a boss, but if I had to give them something, it'd be something along the lines of:Can be Tribute Summoned by Tributing 1 "Sleepy" monster (from your hand or field) and paying 1000 LP. When this card is Summoned: You can send 1 "Sleepy" monster from your Deck to the Graveyard, and if you do, this card's original ATK and DEF become equal to that card's. Also, this card gains that monster's effect and is treated as that card's name. Once per turn, while your LP are 4000 or less: You can discard 1 card to target 1 "Sleep" monster in your Graveyard; Special Summon it in Defense Position. ^That would help fill in the Graveyard faster, help you search cards more easily, and even might come in handy to duplicate effects you might want faster access to. Cycle of Sleep - NREM[Field Spell Card]"Sleepy" monsters gain 700 DEF. Once per Duel, if battle damage would cause your LP to become less than 4000: They become 4000 instead. I recommend 2 things:1 ) Decrease the amount of stat gain, but have it also affect ATK, something like 300 or even 400 would make the trick.2 ) That "once per Duel" effect could afford to be "once per turn". It only works if you are over and go under, and doesn't completely prevent the damage nor does it prevent further damage during that turn. Plus, it is perfect for the deck's control. It'd look something like this:"Sleepy" monsters gain 400 ATK and DEF. Once per turn, if battle damage would cause your LP to become less than 4000, they become 4000 instead. ^I also messed up in my previous post's correction, that second effect is probably better as a continuous effect.The card looks a little bit barren but it might be better in practice. Sometimes simple effects can be good ones. Sleep Walking[Equip Spell Card]Equip only to a "Sleepy" monster, except "Sleepy Tiger". The equipped monster can use its effect as if your LP were 4000 or less. The "except Sleepy Tiger" is kind of pointless. Sleepy Tiger's unlock (4000 LP or less) effect is strongest when your LP is low anyways, so it would be pretty much a waste to equip Tiger with this card. That said, I do hope you change Tiger... That card's not right xDOther than that, I like this equip a lot. Water Bucket Interrupts Your Sleep![spell Card]If you control a "Sleepy" monster and your LP are more than 4000: You can have your LP become 4000, and if you do, you cannot lose LP. Then, during the End Phase, your LP become equal to the LP you had when this card was activated, -4000. This card is kind of bad.... You are giving away 4000 LP. The archetype doesn't really need it in my opinion. The constant 1000 LP costs plus the damage from your opponent will eventually get you there on its own. It sounds like a Quick-play Spell Card, but it isn't one, and ultimately your LP gets a minus 4000, which is awkward. I think it should be a Quick-play Spell Card that makes your LP 4000 exactly, and doesn't prevent damage or anything, and instead your LP turns back to what it was at the End or when you receive damage. It'd look something like this:[Quick-play Spell Card]If you control a "Sleepy" monster: You can have your LP become 4000 LP. The next time your LP would change, your LP become the amount you had when this card was activated instead. Why You Wake Me Up From My Sleep?! [Counter Trap Card]If your LP become 4000 or less: Discard 1 card and banish 2 cards from your Graveyard; Send 1 monster your opponent controls to the Graveyard, and if you do, Special Summon 1 "Sleepy" monster from your Deck in Attack Position. Looking back, this card's mandatory timing is way too restrictive, and banishing 2 cards from your Graveyard is such a random-looking cost... especially when the discard is already good enough. Even more so when the deck already has problems filling up the Graveyard and one of the members wants extra cards in the Graveyard. Its own archetype getting in its way.The "attack position" part is also both contribution to making it all more aggressive and worse if you wanna, say... combo with Turtle.Maybe something along these lines:Activate only while your LP are 4000 or less: Discard 1 card; send 1 monster your opponent controls to the Graveyard, and if you do, Special Summon 1 "Sleepy" monster from your Deck in Defense Position. It was a fun read altogether.This archetype gives me ideas. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Proltvkun Posted January 16, 2017 Author Report Share Posted January 16, 2017 First, really thank you for do this, it means a lot to me. Ok, time to post my suggestions and opinions on it.It seems the pattern is the following.A ) Unlocks effect late game (when your LP are 4000 or less)B ) Once per turn, chooses between an effect that costs 1000 LP and an effect without a LP cost. This to further the goal of unlocking effect A.Now let's see... Oh, almost forgot:Si te cuesta trabajo entender lo que escribo, puedes preguntarme sobre detalles y lo puedo traducir al Español y de paso tambien explicarlo un poco mas. Pero este comentario en tu set lo tengo que escribir en Ingles aqui. Asi que si tienes dudas, no dudes en preguntar~ Sleepy BunnyEARTH Level 3 [beast/Effect] ATK/ 600 DEF/ 700Cannot be destroyed by battle or by card effects during the turn it is flipped face-up. While your LP are 4000 or less, it can attack directly. If it inflicts battle damage to your opponent: You can add 1 "Sleep" card from your Deck to your hand. When flipped face-up, apply one of these:-Add 1 "Sleepy" monster from your Deck or Graveyard to your hand.-Pay 1000 LP: Special Summon 1 "Sleepy" monster from your Deck or Graveyard. It isn't per say broken, my suggestion in this one is to tone down the searching or fuse the protection effect. Like replacing the applied effect with no LP cost for the protection clause, and boost it up a bit. I also suggest you swap the Special Summon effect with the adding effect, that way you get Hydrogeddon-like monsters for your battle AND require the flip and LP cost for the better searcher. Not to mention giving the Special Summon effect to the flip would mean you'd be getting a wall regardless of your choice, and that makes it a little mindless if we leave it like that. It'd look something like this: While your LP are 4000 or less, it can attack directly. If it inflicts battle damage to your opponent: You can Special Summon 1 "Sleepy" monster from your Deck or Graveyard. When flipped face-up, apply one of these.-This card cannot be destroyed by battle or by card effects until your next End Phase.-Pay 1000 LP; Add 1 "Sleep" card from your Deck to your hand. yeah, seem correct in the archetype, and like the change that you do, but when i say sleep, is an spell/trap, when i say sleepy, is an monster, srry if it confuse you Also, I just noticed I made a mistake, after "Pay 1000 LP" there is supposed to be a semi-colon, not a colon. I'll correct that in every entry xD Sleepy CatEARTH Level 4 [beast/Effect] ATK/ 1200 DEF/ 1800Cannot be destroyed by card effects. While your LP are 4000 or less, it gains 800 ATK and can attack twice per Battle Phase. If this card is added to your hand by the effect of a "Sleep" card: Special Summon it. If destroyed by battle or by a card effect, you can apply one of these.-Gain 1000 LP-Pay 1000 LP. So it is a 2000 ATK double attacker that cannot be destroyed by card effects This would be pretty cool with "Ties of the Brethren" or "Inferno Reckless Summon" in this deck full of Beast Level 4s with low original ATK, especially if one wanted to make a troll field-destroying deck with "Torrential Tribute", "Needle Ceiling", "Dark Hole", and similar cards.The self-Special Summon effect is pretty solid, especially giving you an 1800 DEF wall in combination with Sleepy Bunny, and potentially protecting you the same while thinning your deck, which is always a plus. The effect when destroyed is also pretty neat. You either heal some LP to keep paying for other effects, or lose 1000 if you really need to unlock the "4000 LP or less" effects. It would obviously be a stronger effect if it did something for that cost, but the rest of the card is already so well rounded in my opinion, that it is fair that it just takes away the 1000 LP to no effect. Having a choice is always a good thing, especially when the archetype revolves around that condition. Good job xDThanks, is maybe the better done card cause is the first card that i made.Sleepy DogEARTH Level 4 [beast/Effect] ATK/ 1600 DEF/ 1000While your LP are 4000 or less, it gains 400 ATK, and place 1 Rage Counter when this card declares an attack. During each of your Standby Phases: Inflict 300 damage to your opponent for each Rage Counter on the field.If this card is destroyed by battle or by a card effect, apply one of these (you can only use this effect of "Sleepy Dog" once per turn).-Gain 1000 LP, then Special Summon up to 2 "Sleepy Dog" from your Deck.-Pay 1000 LP; Special Summon up to 2 "Sleepy Dog" from your Deck or Graveyard. This can pretty much outclass Sleepy Cat in the the ability to Special Summon. I have a couple issues with this one. The "pay 1000 LP" option is pretty much always going to be better. Not only does it have all the capabilities of the "gain 100 LP" option, but it furthers your Deck's unlockable effects. There is also the Rage Counters, which to be honest are a bit random here. It is a weak effect if it needs to be unlocked (4000 LP or less) and attack, then survive until your next turn, just to start up with an extra 300 damage. Too much work. Even if it becomes 2000 ATK, it is not quite enough. This card seems to aim to be a beater, with dogs being bigger than bunnies or cats so it makes sense. I suggest you ditch the part where it needs counters to burn, and change the ATK boost to itself to an overall ATK boost for your archetype. Probably have one of those two be the unlock (4000 LP or less) effect, and the other be a regular one just to give the card something to do. My other suggestion is that you change the "pay/gain 1000 LP" effect options so that the choices are more balanced in respect with one another. As it is right now, by the time you want to gain LP, it'll be later in the duel and you will not have 2 Dogs in your Deck, and when you want to lose LP to get closer to 4000, it'll be as soon as possible early game so that option Summoning "from the Deck or Graveyard" makes it fully superior. Oh, and up the original ATK a little bit.yeah, i think when i do this card, that maybe can be obsolete in long duels, and rage counter seems bad but i do it cause when i do it i dont have so much ideasMy suggestion would look along the lines of: ATK 1900All "Sleepy" monsters you control gain 100 ATK and DEF for each "Sleepy Dog" on the field or in any Graveyard. While your LP are 4000 or less, this card inflicts piercing battle damage. If this card is destroyed by battle or by a card effect, apply one of these (you can only use this effect of "Sleepy Dog" once per turn).-Pay 1000 LP; Special Summon up to 2 "Sleepy Dog" from your Deck.-Shuffle anyl"Sleepy Dog" from your Graveyard into your Deck, and if you do, gain 1000 LP. ^one of them recovers your LP and recycles your dogs at the cost of fattening your Deck (keep in mind that the one being destroyed is not included because it hasn't touched the Graveyard yet, it'll only help you do it with the copies that were already there) OR pay LP to swarm.Also, the first dog is 2000 ATK, but the other two will boost your side by 300 ATK each so both will be 2500 ATK and become a little harder to take down. If you manage to have all 3 on the field, the 3 of them will be 2800 ATK each, which is almost like having 3 Blue-Eyes White Dragons on the field.The unlock effect will then make them all pierce through Defense Position monsters.What do you think?i think that is perfect, and you do an very well work on this deck, and i are very anxious to probe this cards XD. Sleepy KoalaEARTH Level 4 [beast/Effect] ATK/ 1000 DEF/ 1000You can Normal Summon 1 additional "Sleepy" monster (you can only gain this effect once per turn). While your LP are 4000 or less, this card gains 500 ATK for each "Sleepy" monster you control. When Normal Summoned, you can apply one of these.-Gain 1000 LP.-Pay 1000 LP: Add 1 "Sleep" card from your Deck to your hand. A little weird that a Koala has even more ATK but I'll take it as it taking a long time to digest the leaves (4000 LP or less) as the flavor. It is 1500 ATK on its own, and can have up to 3500 ATK. It is alright. Double Summon is gonna be effective. I like. If I had to suggest something, I recommend the effect that searches be only for "Sleep" Spell or Trap Cards. You already have about enough to search the monsters with, and this card being a Stratos on-Summon with a double Normal Summon ability means you'll be using it a lot. It doesn't need to search you another Koala to Summon and then search again. Other than that, it's fine. It'd look like this (basically almost the same).You can Normal Summon 1 additional "Sleepy" monster (you can only gain this effect once per turn). While your LP are 4000 or less, this card gains 500 ATK for each "Sleepy" monster you control. When Normal Summoned, you can apply one of these.-Gain 1000 LP.-Pay 1000 LP; add 1 "Sleep" Spell or Trap Card from your Deck to your hand.k, seems well, and i like it. Sleepy PandaEARTH Level 6 [beast/Effect] ATK/ 1200 DEF/ 2300Face-up "Sleep" cards on the field cannot be destroyed by battle or by card effects, except "Sleepy Panda". While your LP are 4000 or less, it gains 400 ATK for each "Sleep" card in your Graveyard. While "Cycle of Sleep - NREM" is on the field, each time you pay LP to activate the effect of a "Sleep" card: You can draw 1 card. You can only activate this effect of "Sleepy Panda" up to thrice per turn. Card is completely fine in my opinion. It needs the archetype's unlock (4000 LP or less) to have the ATK boost, and the ATK boost is more tame than one would think since cards don't seem to stay too much in the Graveyard or add up very quickly. Then the drawing effect requires another card's presence to work, and even if it didn't, the paying effects of "Sleepy" monsters so far are reactive. You can't really spam or even consistently trigger them up. I doubt players will be maxing out on that "thrice per turn" part. It only is left with the protection effect most of the time, and if that's the case it kind of deserves to have something going for it. On paper it even might be a little too defensive or require a little too much setup, but it's not bad enough that people wouldn't try it out. I recommend though, that it instead targets 1 card for protection similarly to Stardust Spark Dragon, and I say this after having just read Sleepy Turtle (it'll make more sense one you see what I wrote for Sleepy Turtle). It'd look something like this (with this change it can also now defend itself once).Once per turn, during either player's turn: You can target 1 face-up "Sleep" card on the field; that card cannot be destroyed by battle or by card effects once this turn. While your LP are 4000 or less, it gains 400 ATK for each "Sleep" card in your Graveyard. While "Cycle of Sleep - NREM" is on the field, each time you pay LP to activate the effect of a "Sleep" card: You can draw 1 card. You can only activate this effect of "Sleepy Panda" up to thrice per turn.oh, i dont have that idea, seems better that the Ultimate tanky card than defend all cards and when i say it seem too op, thanks for have that great idea. Sleepy TurtleEARTH Level 4 [beast/Effect] ATK/ 0 DEF/ 2000Cannot be destroyed by battle. While you control no other cards: You can pay 1000 LP; It cannot be destroyed by card effects until the End Phase. While your LP are 4000 or less, this card's original ATK and DEF are switched. When this card's ATK changes by its own effect: You can add 1 "Sleep" card from your Deck or Graveyard to your hand. Once per turn, when this card is attacked: Add 1 "Sleep" card from your Deck to your hand. This one is hard to properly word. The unlock (4000 LP or less) effects in the entire archetype so far are usually continuous conditions that start taking effect when you meet the condition of having 4000 LP or less. They never "activate". This means that the effect that triggers when the turtle's ATK and DEF are swapped is not worded correctly. Frankly speaking I have no idea how to word it since that one has no other choice but to be a trigger effect. It is also clearly meant to be used as a quick effect every time the player jumps back and forth between having more than or less than 4000 LP. In a sense I do like the concept behind this card. It is a decent wall, and can become an even better wall by risking having nothing else on board.Though by the same coin, it can easily stall with minimal investment until you meet your deck's unlock requirements (4000 LP or less), and that doesn't sound right. Why is this a Beast-Type? It's a turtle xD (the archetype is beast type, and i dont made the same mistake that i do with the octopus)It isn't likely that this card will be attacked unless it gets its effect negated so the last searching effect is kind of pointless, especially because it can't be destroyed by battle, making it even less likely to be attacked. My suggestions are: -Make its protection have a constant cost instead of a permanent "can't be destroyed" clause. That will encourage your opponent to want to destroy it. 1000 LP sounds about hefty enough to make it happen, and would go with the rest of the archetype's pattern/theme. Not only that but making it tank multiple times per turn like this will finally give you a member of the archetype that can get you draws with the effect of Sleepy Panda.That is if you do go ahead with my suggestion on Sleepy Panda that is. The trick is to never target the Turtle with Panda's effect, unless you want to have a free protection shot at no LP cost, which can happen. -Give it an barrier effect similar to "Magician's Valkyria" or "Dupe Frog" from the real life game. It'd look something like: If this card would be destroyed by battle, you can pay 1000 LP instead. Your opponent cannot target "Sleepy" monsters, except "Sleepy Turtle" for an attack. When your LP become 4000 or less: Switch this card's original ATK and DEF. When Summoned or flipped face-up, if your LP are 4000 or less: Switch this card's original ATK and DEF. When this card's ATK changes by its own effect: You can add 1 "Sleep" card from your Deck or Graveyard to your hand. ^That's the only way I could word the searching effect. Even so, I wasn't able to word something that could make it so that having more than 4000 LP returns it to normal, at least not without potentially erasing bonuses like Dog's boost... For now, I think it is better this way anyways to prevent abuse, and because this is the single most broad searcher of the archetype, being able to search anything. its supposed that you have to leave an review, you do all my work for me >:V, but i like if you do that so well and you deserve AT LEAST 50% of the credit of making the deck. Sleepy TigerEARTH Level 9 [beast/Effect] ATK/ ? DEF/ 0Cannot be Special Summoned. Can be Tribute Summoned by Tributing 1 "Sleepy" monster, and discarding 1 "Sleepy" monster from your hand. When this card is Summoned: Its ATK becomes the current difference between both players' LP. While your LP are 4000 or less, this card's ATK instead becomes the difference between your current LP and 8000. If this card is destroyed by battle or by a card effect: Shuffle 3 "Sleep" cards from your Graveyard into your Deck. Not really a big fan of this card in particular. It cannot be Special Summoned, it basically Tributes the other monster from your hand and requires you to still only Tribute "Sleepy" monsters for its easy Summon, and it is really just a big beater, and the other "Sleepy" monsters can pretty much manage without it. What is more, the ATK boost isn't very consistent either. If both players are low enough, it might have somewhere around 900 ATK, and if you go under 4000 ATK, that's when it then becomes outrageously big with potentially 5000+ ATK. Even so, very much just a beater. Doesn't really work with the archetype, and rather it becomes a solo boss for a LP deck.The recycling effect is counterproductive for the deck outside of Sleepy Dog... The suggestions I'd make on this one would pretty much turn it into a completely different card so I'd say just over-write it all. In my opinion they don't really need a boss, but if I had to give them something, it'd be something along the lines of: Can be Tribute Summoned by Tributing 1 "Sleepy" monster (from your hand or field) and paying 1000 LP. When this card is Summoned: You can send 1 "Sleepy" monster from your Deck to the Graveyard, and if you do, this card's original ATK and DEF become equal to that card's. Also, this card gains that monster's effect and is treated as that card's name. Once per turn, while your LP are 4000 or less: You can discard 1 card to target 1 "Sleep" monster in your Graveyard; Special Summon it in Defense Position. ^That would help fill in the Graveyard faster, help you search cards more easily, and even might come in handy to duplicate effects you might want faster access to. yeah, the idea seem well and i will test it, and if this card is well i will do this change to tiger Cycle of Sleep - NREM[Field Spell Card]"Sleepy" monsters gain 700 DEF. Once per Duel, if battle damage would cause your LP to become less than 4000: They become 4000 instead. I recommend 2 things:1 ) Decrease the amount of stat gain, but have it also affect ATK, something like 300 or even 400 would make the trick.2 ) That "once per Duel" effect could afford to be "once per turn". It only works if you are over and go under, and doesn't completely prevent the damage nor does it prevent further damage during that turn. Plus, it is perfect for the deck's control. It'd look something like this:"Sleepy" monsters gain 400 ATK and DEF. Once per turn, if battle damage would cause your LP to become less than 4000, they become 4000 instead. ^I also messed up in my previous post's correction, that second effect is probably better as a continuous effect.The card looks a little bit barren but it might be better in practice. Sometimes simple effects can be good ones. yeah, it really fine aand seem better than the old one good job XD Sleep Walking[Equip Spell Card]Equip only to a "Sleepy" monster, except "Sleepy Tiger". The equipped monster can use its effect as if your LP were 4000 or less. The "except Sleepy Tiger" is kind of pointless. Sleepy Tiger's unlock (4000 LP or less) effect is strongest when your LP is low anyways, so it would be pretty much a waste to equip Tiger with this card. That said, I do hope you change Tiger... That card's not right xDOther than that, I like this equip a lot.thanks!Water Bucket Interrupts Your Sleep![spell Card]If you control a "Sleepy" monster and your LP are more than 4000: You can have your LP become 4000, and if you do, you cannot lose LP. Then, during the End Phase, your LP become equal to the LP you had when this card was activated, -4000. This card is kind of bad.... You are giving away 4000 LP. The archetype doesn't really need it in my opinion. The constant 1000 LP costs plus the damage from your opponent will eventually get you there on its own. It sounds like a Quick-play Spell Card, but it isn't one, and ultimately your LP gets a minus 4000, which is awkward. I think it should be a Quick-play Spell Card that makes your LP 4000 exactly, and doesn't prevent damage or anything, and instead your LP turns back to what it was at the End or when you receive damage. It'd look something like this: [Quick-play Spell Card]If you control a "Sleepy" monster: You can have your LP become 4000 LP. The next time your LP would change, your LP become the amount you had when this card was activated instead.yeah, i dunno how to do this card, i only know the idea, and writte eff trying to do something like that, thanks to do the idea for me XDWhy You Wake Me Up From My Sleep?! [Counter Trap Card]If your LP become 4000 or less: Discard 1 card and banish 2 cards from your Graveyard; Send 1 monster your opponent controls to the Graveyard, and if you do, Special Summon 1 "Sleepy" monster from your Deck in Attack Position. Looking back, this card's mandatory timing is way too restrictive, and banishing 2 cards from your Graveyard is such a random-looking cost... especially when the discard is already good enough. Even more so when the deck already has problems filling up the Graveyard and one of the members wants extra cards in the Graveyard. Its own archetype getting in its way.The "attack position" part is also both contribution to making it all more aggressive and worse if you wanna, say... combo with Turtle.Maybe something along these lines: Activate only while your LP are 4000 or less: Discard 1 card; send 1 monster your opponent controls to the Graveyard, and if you do, Special Summon 1 "Sleepy" monster from your Deck in Defense Position. yeah, seems right, i do the banish cost cause maybe it can be too op, but if you say that is right i trust you, and the defence position is an good cost for the OP eff It was a fun read altogether.This archetype gives me ideas. ty, that is very important to me, Sleepy-Sempai (XDXDXDXDXD) (is a joke (¿maybe?)) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sleepy Posted January 16, 2017 Report Share Posted January 16, 2017 [spoiler=About the "Sleep" vs "Sleepy" Name]The word "Sleep" exists within the word "Sleepy" so "Sleepy" cards are part of the "Sleep" archetype.Whenever you say "Sleep" Spell/Trap Card or "Sleepy" monster.You are mentioning all Spell, Trap, and Monster Card types. If it already contains all types of cards, and if "Sleep" cards already have "Sleepy" cards as part of it, then the shortest way is the way I have it. If you wanna mention both kinds you are just making it longer. In other words:All of your cards are "Sleep" cards, but only your monsters are "Sleepy" cards.Also, all "Sleepy" cards are "Sleep" cards because one of the words is already inside the other. Whenever you only mention "Sleepy" cards/monsters, I left it as that.Whenever you only mention "Sleep" Spell/Trap Cards, I left it as that.Whenever you say "Sleep" Spell/Trap Cards AND/OR "Sleepy" monsters, you are basically just saying "Sleep" cards and it already encompasses both. In the real life game, there is an archetype with a similar characteristic: the "Spiritual Beast" archetype, which is divided between "Ritual Beast Tamer" monsters and "Spiritual Beast" Monsters. They also have a card called "Spiritual Beast Tamer", which is both a "Ritual Beast Tamer" and a "Spiritual Beast" at the same time.but to encompass them all they usually just say "Ritual Beast" and just like that it includes all the members of the archetype.Your archetype works pretty much in the same kind of way. - - - - - - - - - About the turtle:Yes all the archetype is formed by Beast-Types xDbut the flavor is kind of weird. I guess I can imagine a turtle with a lot of hair/fur on its body haha. - - - - - - - - - Nah, I don't need credit. I just worked off of your idea and what I wrote is just suggestions. You should take what you yourself think is gonna work, but ultimately, this is your creation. - - - - - - - - - xDNo problem. Glad you liked my review. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Proltvkun Posted January 17, 2017 Author Report Share Posted January 17, 2017 nonono you deserve at least 50% of the credit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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Proltvkun Posted February 8, 2017 Author Report Share Posted February 8, 2017 bumpmaybe this will be my last post on ycm, cause this site is getting me bored, and i star to like do other things, like play video games. in any case, see you later!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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