Guest JoshIcy Posted June 14, 2008 Report Share Posted June 14, 2008 Time of ParadiseTears of the Land,Weeping for what has been lost,Seeking shade in its last refuge,Wondering how lost has come, Advancing Time,Crushing those below,Never a chance,To stop and smell the view, Hindering those lost,Forever and Remain,Given a chance they never had,Yet to time to use it, Cities upon Towns,Skyscrapers dwindling the old,Enviornment growing weary,Never to see itself again, Trees now a figment,Grass a memory,Lush green meadows a thing of the past,But a word left in a Book, Born in a place without time,I learned to enjoy,To appreciate and care,Total Equality one and the same, Yet now I explore,This land called time,With no tools or craft,I am lost without a guide....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Ruby Posted June 14, 2008 Report Share Posted June 14, 2008 i likes...but, is it about Hawaii XD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JoshIcy Posted June 14, 2008 Report Share Posted June 14, 2008 Yeah lol... Had the sudden urge to write a poem like this.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arekku_Koro Posted June 14, 2008 Report Share Posted June 14, 2008 I wish I was as deep as that..... Simply beautiful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JoshIcy Posted June 14, 2008 Report Share Posted June 14, 2008 Lol its easy, just be yourself and speak your mind. Learn your words and its smooth sailing ;) and thanks ^_^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Careless Whisper Posted June 14, 2008 Report Share Posted June 14, 2008 Like I said in PM, this poem caused reminded me of the day Elly had asked me out, thus why I bumped my memory thread. I shall give it a 10/10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RickiMinaj Posted June 14, 2008 Report Share Posted June 14, 2008 marvelous Beauty in my eyesight10/10Love is so tragic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JoshIcy Posted June 14, 2008 Report Share Posted June 14, 2008 Thanks Haku ^_^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bloodrun Posted June 14, 2008 Report Share Posted June 14, 2008 wait is this suppose to be a song or a poem? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Purple Dinosaur Posted June 14, 2008 Report Share Posted June 14, 2008 Don't you need the same number of foots per vers? Even if it's required, for a poem, it's really inspiring! Great Work! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JoshIcy Posted June 14, 2008 Report Share Posted June 14, 2008 Poem lol... and i like 4 lines per stanza, gives the eyes time to rest ;) But if it sounds like a Song, by all means work it into one... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yasu Posted June 14, 2008 Report Share Posted June 14, 2008 Beatiful... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coolmoo Posted June 15, 2008 Report Share Posted June 15, 2008 10/10is just very buetiful and very loving also tragic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JoshIcy Posted June 15, 2008 Report Share Posted June 15, 2008 Thanks both of you :( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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