~The Dark Priestress and the 3 Kyotos (Judges from the Underworld)~ {updated version}

[CinnamonStar]

I didn’t post any cards for a while, so sorry for that (not that it would have disconcerted anyone). These are actually the 4 cards I intended to enter for a contest, but due to some misunderstandings I didn’t post them. However, I still wanted to share them with you and at the same time, this will provide you with a quick preview on my upcoming set (cf signature). They are supposed to be realistic cards, even though they are based on an anime.

 

 

Pandora the Dark Priestress

 

[spoiler=Card Lore]While this card remains face-up on the field, it is treated as a DARK Normal monster. The effect of this card can only be activated when a monster you control other than this card is destroyed and sent to the Graveyard. Send this card to the Graveyard and pay 1000 Life Points to return the destroyed monster to its owner's Deck face-up. The controller of the destroyed card shuffles his/her Deck. If this card is in your Graveyard when a player draws the face-up monster, remove this card from play.

 

 

A/N: This effect is based on Pandora’s ability to wander between the human world and the realm of the dead.

 

 

Griffin Minos - Divine Noble Star

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[spoiler=Card Lore]This card can only be Special Summoned by removing 1 Fiend-Type monster in your Graveyard from play. When this card is in face-up Defense Position , destroy it. When this card attacks or is attacked by an opponent’s monster, you can switch controls of both cards. As long as this card remains face-up on your opponent’s field, it is treated as a Normal monster. As long as this card is on the field, monsters cannot attack during the turn they switch control. When a monster is destroyed, if it is not controlled by its owner, destroy all monsters that have switched control while on the field.

 

 

A/N: This effect is based on Minos’ attack “Cosmic Marionnetion”. I’m not sure about the OCG in the last sentence, though...

 

 

Wyvern Rhadamanthys - Divine Fierce Star

 

[spoiler=Card Lore]This card cannot attack during the same turn that it got Tribute or Special Summoned. The original ATK and DEF of this card become the ATK and DEF of the card used for the Tribute or Special Summoning of this card + 700. If you remove each Spell and Trap Card you control from play, this card cannot be destroyed by any Spell or Trap Cards. This card is destroyed and removed from play after it attacks or is attacked by an opponent’s monster (Damage calculation is applied normally).

 

 

A/N: “Greatest Caution” says hi.^_^

 

 

Garuda Aiacos - Divine Superior Star

 

[spoiler=Card Lore]As long as this card remains face-up on your field, it is treated as a DARK Normal monster. The effect of this card is activated when this card battles a monster whose ATK is higher than this card’s ATK. Discard 2 cards from your hand to negate the Attack of your opponent’s monster and send it to the Graveyard (Damage calculation is applied normally). When your opponent Special Summons the monster which is sent to the Graveyard by this effect, Special Summon 1 of the cards you discarded to activate this effect.

 

 

 

 

I do not claim ownership over the images used for these cards. I digged them up on or while running a google search.

[Lord Ursus]

Nice. You should probably find some better pics, though. I love the effects, except for the first one, wich i thind underpowered, also there are some OCG errors.

 

Heres the OCG errors:

 

On the first one, i can't see the "s on either side of her name in the effect. You could also simply write "this card".

 

Number 2: It should say Defense, not Defence. It confuses me alot too.

 

Let's take a look behind card number 3: Tribute Summoned is now called Advance Summoned.

I also think you should write plus, instead of +.

 

Last one: You wrote "from hand" you should write "from your hand"

 

Here is a suggested version of the second line:

When this card battles a monster whose ATK is higher than this card’s ATK, (effect here)

 

O.

[Guest Star]

Interesting cards.

 

Some OCG Errors.

 

9/10

[Mr. Judgment Dragon]

I think these pitures have been used before. Cant really be bothered looking at the OCG. Anyway, for the cards I give you 7.5/10.

[CinnamonStar]

@ Goldshine Dragon: I know the pictures have been used a lot before, but most people didn't know that they were taken from this anime.

 

~The improved version is up.~

[aaronpoe1988]

Not bad, darling, not bad.

 

I'm currently running Yubel; I'd try Garuda Aiacos, guarenteed.

 

7.3/10

 

~Poe

[Yogg-Saron]

Looks great!

OCG error is tiny.

Great pictures.

[Kocrow17]

Pandora

"While this card is on the field, it is treated as a DARK Normal Monster. When a monster you control (except this card) is destroyed and sent to the Graveyard, send this card to the Graveyard and pay 700 Life Points to return the destroyed monster to its owner’s Deck face-up. If this card is in your Graveyard when a player draws the face-up monster, remove this card from play."

 

Lowered the Life Point cost to 700 and changed it to the card returns to its owner’s deck, just in case you’ve taken control of an opponent’s monster. These are all just suggestions, so change and don’t change what you want^^.

 

 

Griffin Minos

I think the last two sentences should read:

“As long as this card is on the field, monsters cannot attack during the turn they switch control. When a monster is destroyed, if it is not controlled by its owner, destroys all monsters that have switched control while on the field.”

 

 

Wyvern

Where are you removing the Spells/traps from?

 

 

I hope this helps^^!

[CinnamonStar]

Thank you Kaze-kun. I knew my OCG was a bit off here, to say the least, but I kind of liked the effects and wanted to put them into practice.

Your suggestions about the Pandora card make sense, but I'm not sure about the Life Points cost. I might reduce it to 1000, but 700 would seem a bit low for me. Regarding the other part, I will change it into returning the card to its respective owner's Deck, though.

I didn't know how to explain the last part of Minos' effect, but the rephrasing seems much better to me.

In Wyvern's effect the Spells and Traps have to be removed from your side of the field, which, according to the new OCG, is called "each Spell and Trap Card you control" now.

Thanks for rephrasing some parts.^_^

[Kocrow17]

No problem^^. Glad I could help.

[Lucas Maximus]

Nice cards, Raven.

 

Your OCG is a little off, but Kaze put you right there.

 

Good job. ;)

 

8.5/10

[Atomix]

Very cool ^_^

 

~ Atomix

[「tea.leaf」]

Not too bad.

[CinnamonStar]

No constructive criticism, comment or rating?

Thank you nevertheless, but folks, please try to be precise and tell me what I can do to make these better.^_^

 

EDIT: I updated the cards, so thanks to Elsandero for modifying the pictures and to Kaze for rephrasing some parts of the effects.

[Parting Shot]

Methinks the first sentence of Wyvern should be more like this: "This card cannot attack during the turn it is Summoned." Got is not correct OCG in this context :P

 

Otherwise, Kaze noticed all the major errors. Pretty good ;)

 

overall - 13.22/13.69 ^_^