Lazer Yoshi Posted August 9, 2008 Report Share Posted August 9, 2008 A poem/story by Yoshi"Girl, when I met you, my mind went crazy. We are perfect. You broke my heart but glued it back together. Each time we meet I want to just scream a happy word. We may not have been meant to be together, but I want you to know I love you. If you wish to leave, okay. If you want to stay, okay. Put the past behind you, and live life with me. Life may be bad, and your mind is saying No to me, but as long as we are together, our hearts of nightmares will be replaced with hearts of gold. Your mind still says No, but your heart is the one you should trust."This is my life right now... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CeDeFiA Posted August 9, 2008 Report Share Posted August 9, 2008 Your life is a Poem? xDAnyway, this sounds like a Good and Touching poem, i'm guessing it took you 3 minutes to write? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Best Male 2008 Posted August 9, 2008 Report Share Posted August 9, 2008 Were is the spleen eating and puppy kicking? Every good poem must be brutal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lazer Yoshi Posted August 9, 2008 Author Report Share Posted August 9, 2008 I just shouted my heart out... This is how life is... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CeDeFiA Posted August 9, 2008 Report Share Posted August 9, 2008 Were is the spleen eating and puppy kicking? Every good poem must be brutal. By brutal they meen accedentally slicing your hand open while trying to pick a rose :? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lazer Yoshi Posted August 9, 2008 Author Report Share Posted August 9, 2008 ^ Thats the poem about Emos :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JoshIcy Posted August 9, 2008 Report Share Posted August 9, 2008 lol I feel everything that you were trying to express. But to play Devils Advocate, your format really distracts from the intent ya? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lazer Yoshi Posted August 9, 2008 Author Report Share Posted August 9, 2008 ^ Um, english please? XD I know how you feel Icy, Ive read your poems, you buried Stephen King :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CeDeFiA Posted August 9, 2008 Report Share Posted August 9, 2008 ^ Um' date=' english please? XD I know how you feel Icy, Ive read your poems, you buried [b']Stephen King [/b]:P Yeah, 10,000 leages under the ground. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Best Male 2008 Posted August 9, 2008 Report Share Posted August 9, 2008 ^ Um' date=' english please? XD I know how you feel Icy, Ive read your poems, you buried [b']Stephen King [/b]:P Yeah, 10,000 leages under the ground. You mean like Football Leagues? Or Baseball? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lazer Yoshi Posted August 9, 2008 Author Report Share Posted August 9, 2008 I think he means Soilders :lol: But Krow, did you think the story was OK? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JoshIcy Posted August 9, 2008 Report Share Posted August 9, 2008 Leagues is a form of distance used in water.... And what I mean is that the way that you show your thoughts isnt done well, it distracts itself from the message... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Best Male 2008 Posted August 9, 2008 Report Share Posted August 9, 2008 I think he means Soilders :lol: But Krow' date=' did you think the story was OK?[/quote'] Of course. But you lack brutalness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lazer Yoshi Posted August 9, 2008 Author Report Share Posted August 9, 2008 Hey, Im a nice guy, cant be brutal. It'll ruin my ego XD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CeDeFiA Posted August 9, 2008 Report Share Posted August 9, 2008 Yeah, whoever loves Yoshi can't be mean! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Death Metal Posted August 10, 2008 Report Share Posted August 10, 2008 It was good but the ending should be more like this. "Then one day I shot her in her putrid head." Until then the story gets a 8.75/10. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lazer Yoshi Posted August 10, 2008 Author Report Share Posted August 10, 2008 Well, I love her, and she loves me, but.... she's not sure about our relationship :( I couldnt shoot her, unless she turned into an enemie in Resident Evil 4, well, OK Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Best Male 2008 Posted August 10, 2008 Report Share Posted August 10, 2008 Well' date=' I love her, and she loves me, but.... she's not sure about our relationship :( I couldnt shoot her, unless she turned into an enemie in Resident Evil 4, well, OK [/quote'] SHOOT HER. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lazer Yoshi Posted August 10, 2008 Author Report Share Posted August 10, 2008 ^-_- ..... You dont have a relationship, huh? XD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Best Male 2008 Posted August 10, 2008 Report Share Posted August 10, 2008 ^-_- ..... You dont have a relationship' date=' huh? XD[/quote'] Yes I do :/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Death Metal Posted August 10, 2008 Report Share Posted August 10, 2008 ^-_- ..... You dont have a relationship' date=' huh? XD[/quote'] Yes I do :/ With me ;) *wink* *wink* but lazahman you can join us too it's an open relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Best Male 2008 Posted August 10, 2008 Report Share Posted August 10, 2008 ^-_- ..... You dont have a relationship' date=' huh? XD[/quote'] Yes I do :/ With me ;) *wink* *wink* but lazahman you can join us too it's an open relationship. Lawl. Never change your sig, keep it as COB. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Death Metal Posted August 10, 2008 Report Share Posted August 10, 2008 ^-_- ..... You dont have a relationship' date=' huh? XD[/quote'] Yes I do :/ With me ;) *wink* *wink* but lazahman you can join us too it's an open relationship. Lawl. Never change your sig, keep it as COB. Ok for another day but then it goes to Kataklysm (spelt right?). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Best Male 2008 Posted August 10, 2008 Report Share Posted August 10, 2008 ^-_- ..... You dont have a relationship' date=' huh? XD[/quote'] Yes I do :/ With me ;) *wink* *wink* but lazahman you can join us too it's an open relationship. Lawl. Never change your sig, keep it as COB. Ok for another day but then it goes to Kataklysm (spelt right?). Yes you spelt it right. BACK ON TOPIC. Before we get another thread locked :p Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Death Metal Posted August 10, 2008 Report Share Posted August 10, 2008 ^-_- ..... You dont have a relationship' date=' huh? XD[/quote'] Yes I do :/ With me ;) *wink* *wink* but lazahman you can join us too it's an open relationship. Lawl. Never change your sig, keep it as COB. Ok for another day but then it goes to Kataklysm (spelt right?). Yes you spelt it right. BACK ON TOPIC. Before we get another thread locked :p Agreed XD Anyways the poem was great but, as KA said, lacked broootalness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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