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On Halloween....


Static

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On Halloween, walk to the nearest pub and step up to the bar, but do not sit down. Ask the bartender to get you a beer for yourself and another "for the Tweedie." Without any hesitation, the bartender will spin around and slam a red button on the wall. Warning sirens will blare over the sound system, and the lights will slowly dim. A disco ball will lower from the ceiling and shine on, showering the room in specks of light. Any tables or chairs in the establishment will begin to violently shake, and launch towards the walls, taking out anything in their path. Thirty seconds after the button is pressed, a faint sound will be heard. As the volume rises, you will recognize the sound as "Copacabana" by Barry Manilow. Once the chorus hits, the front doors of the establishment will swing open, and a young man on roller skates will enter, his long hair fluttering in the wind. He'll skate towards the bar and pick up his frosty beverage, raising his bottle towards you in approval.

 

As he takes his first drink many more skaters will enter, gliding around the floor in a large circle. As the man finishes his beer, he will take you by the hand and guide you through the circle of rollerskaters. As you reach the center, you will be taken by one or two members of his entourage and hoisted up on their shoulders, and the man will be lifted by another two members. They will spin both of you around and around for what will feel like an eternity, and the song will eventually fade, as well as the lights. For a few seconds of complete darkness, the lights will return to normal, with all chairs, tables and customers back in their original places. As you look towards the door, you will see a faint group of people riding off into the sunset, led by the man with large hair.

 

Congratulations.

 

You have just met the Tweedie.

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