Realization of my Unreality

[HORUS]

I'm sure that nobody cares about this and there will be very few replies but I'm going to go ahead and accept the tl;dr's and recognize those who respond genuinely to understand in some way how i feel.

 

 

 

 

Ever come to a realization that how you have been acting simply isn't you?

 

I've had a startling revelation in the last hour that will change my life forever.

 

Today, I had a bunch of friends over to watch The Omen. About 19 people showed, including some exchange students from Singapore, Austria, and Latvia. I had met the Latvian and Austrian before and they are really nice and fun, to say the least. But lately, I've been feeling so strongly for the Latvian girl. She speaks English well and is really nice and today while we were watching the movie I was thinking of things so far away from the movie. I began to think about how I've regarded life and emotions and so many things.

 

I realized that I have been pushing down everything inside of me and concealing it with false concepts. I've campaigned for so long that everyone should be real and act like they know they should, but suddenly i realized that it was I who needed to drop the facade.

 

My feelings of contempt and hatred and so many other feelings left me and I felt such a revolution. A full 180 degree turn. I lost completely my thoughts of anti-emotional society.

 

I was seized with such emotion that I couldn't help myself but move my hand to the girl's hand and she and I clasped hands. I felt so relieved of all my anxieties, my distrust; all of my previous life had vanished.

 

I don't know what happened, but at this time I am feeling so good that I cannot express my feelings. I don't even know what I'm feeling but I know i have never felt this way before.

 

I've made such a change that I cannot believe my own feelings.

 

 

 

I hope that my feelings stay this way. This is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me.

[Larxene]

Emotions are so confusing :/

 

For the most part my emotions are faked x3

[HORUS]

Emotions are so confusing :/

 

For the most part my emotions are faked x3

 

That's one of the points i'm trying to get across.

 

I realized that I've been faking so much and it's unhealthy to do so.

[Larxene]

Well, in real life anyway I hide my emotions

 

The way I act on here is more like how I really am x3

 

I just don't trust people all that much so I refuse to show any real emotions

[Zack Blaze]

I Think what you are feeling is love

[Pikachu]

Love can change your life sir.

Congratulations, you have advaned to the next step of life!

[Zack Blaze]

I Wish I knew what love felt like...

[Skuldur]

You are in love

 

ah love :)

[MarbleZone]

Yes.

 

You're finally living, mate, congratulations. ;P

 

Seriously though... anyone who insists on believing emotions are pointless, avoidable and unwanted and that all that matters is rational thought probably never experienced any kind of life away from their computer anyway so they build that frail shield around them... and it's kind of sad.

A well-known member of YCM (who is apparently banned now), when once confronted with a "then why do you keep on living" question, answered something along the lines of "meh, I just enjoy thinking". I felt sad for him when I read that, he honestly believe he was being special and enlightened for saying it.

 

Anyway... I honestly hope you settle for this new perspective (and the girl, mind. :P).

[Benraino]

Congrats Kramer.

[Cyber Altair]

tbh I don't think anyone irl knows me for the real me. I fake a lot of stuff mainly my attitude and most of the time it really isn't me yet I feel forced to follow it every single day. I understand what your through, good job =)

 

Oh, is she hot?

[bury the year]

Hey, if YCMaker's God, and Static's Buddha, who the eff are you now?

[Cyber Altair]

Jesus.

[Larxene]

Jesus maybe? x3

 

EDIT: Damn, CA beat me to it

[Skuldur]

nope he's Tom Jones

[「tea.leaf」]

I'm emotionless, on average, unless you count contempt and irritation.

 

Although, I do have a spot in my heart saved for her, and only for her.

[Willieh]

The only emotions I feel are anger, happiness, and occasionally love. But most of the time I just blend these all together to get a feeling of indifference.

 

But I've managed to rid myself of depression, sorrow, or overall sadness all together. Instead, I get angry.

[Cyber Altair]

lol, anger and sadness are just the same to me.

 

I just can't seem to get rid of my pity emotion, then again I like it.

[Akira]

I've learnt through personal experience that suppressing emotions is a very bad thing to do- as stupid as some people say it sounds, it is a fact that they will build up inside you like a cancer unless you release them. I'm glad you managed to show your true feelings and I hope that in doing so you have opened the path for more and better things to come ^^

[Death Metal]

Emotions cloud your thoughts. If I feel something, I let it out. Unless it's anger or hate then I bottle it up and save it for when I need it =/

 

As for the way I act. Well I don't fake, what you see is what you get and if you don't like it then you can jump off a f**king cliff.

[Wyhe]

So you've found love,eh.

 

In my opinion,it is only a temporary joy that will fade over time,so cherish every moment as if it were the last.

[HORUS]

tbh I don't think anyone irl knows me for the real me. I fake a lot of stuff mainly my attitude and most of the time it really isn't me yet I feel forced to follow it every single day. I understand what your through' date=' good job =)

 

Oh, is she hot?

[/quote']

 

She's good looking but not necessarily hot. But for some reason I don't even feel any sexual thoughts for her. I just love her.

[Mr. Best Male 2008]

The chick I like hates me D:

 

Because I'm an ass.

 

Anyways.

 

Kramer, stop using big words.

[Father Wolf]

lolz emotions and women.

[The_Prince_of_Death]

What you felt was love or compassion. You can either keep it and change, or dump it and go back to the way things were before the feeling. It's your choise on what you feel/do. You make your own decisions and change your destiny.

 

Read the rest at your own will (in the spoiler right here):

I only feel: hatered, sadness, a little fear, and very little love(in this order). Some people do fake their emotions and some don't. I have faked my emotions sometimes. What I don't get is why we have them. I can never forget my past. I don't care about the future that much because the life is short, and I don't plan to be here for long except until after I graduate high school. When you find something that changes your life around do whatever you want with it. I have found something that would devistate the world, but I keep it a secret from everyone around me. I have found the true reality last year, and plan to never tell what it is like because no one will believe (in) it. And belive me the true reality is great and it sucks because it opens your mind to everything.

 

No offence if anything goes against your religion.