My First Three Cards

[Yami Game Master]

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These are my first three cards that I have made, so I would love to recieve feedback from some more seasoned members.

Thanks! - Yami Game Master

 

Stymphalian

 

Art Link: http://img43.exs.cx/img43/9075/a5pgame536.jpg

 

When this card is Normal Summoned successfully, by discarding 1 card from your hand, no Trap Cards can be activated. When this card is Normal Summoned, inflict 500 damage to your opponent for each face-up Spell and Trap Card on their side of the field.

 

Angelic Retribution

 

Art Link: http://img100.echo.cx/img100/5273/untitled1tq.png

 

Activate only during your opponent's Battle Phase. Inflict 300 points of damage to your opponent for each monster that has attacked this turn. While there are no monsters on your side of the field, the effect of this card cannot be negated.

 

Adept Witch

 

Art Link: http://s49.photobucket.com/albums/f258/tassidar_87/Anime%20Girls/?action=view&current=Darkmage.jpg

 

When this card is successfully Summoned, roll a six-sided die. Remove from play an amount of cards from the top of your Deck equal to the result of the die roll. Until your second Standby Phase after this card was successfully Summoned, you can activate any Spell Cards that were removed from play with this card's effect. During your second Standby Phase after this card was successfully Summoned, remove from the game all cards that are removed from play by this card’s effect.

 

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[Lord Smeagle]

I would change Adept Witch's effect to when she's Normal Summoned only, and I think Stymphalian's pic is a bit iffy...PG-13 warning, perhaps?

 

Other than that, these are good. 9/10.

[Pink]

Cool Cards, Can't Wait To See More From You In The Future!

[Shiranui]

Pretty surprising for a 1 star. Good job. 9/10

[.Gideon.]

Thats great for your first cards, I can't see any OCG errors, effets r well balanced

 

8/10 nice job & keep up the good work

[Spire]

I don't like the pics, but I can't find any OCG mistakes. Very good for a new member, 8.5/10.

[Yami Game Master]

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Thanks for the comments.

 

 

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[Sleepy]

first card: by discarding 1 card from your hand, no Trap Cards can be activated (for how long can't traps be activated :? ?)

on your side of the field = on your field

 

When this card is Normal Summoned, inflict 500.....(dont have to write it twice in the card ;)... just put ..."and" )

 

second card: while there are not monsters on your side of the field. = If you don't control any monsters. (I think >_<" )

 

i like the pic of the third card better :)

overall..... 9/10 good start :D

some of the things I wrote aren't really errors.. just old OCG ;) now that I look at it...

[OMGAKITTY]

Excellent start. And you have art credit! I'm so happy.

Definitely +repping you after my review here is done.

 

1st card: Great name, great pic.

When this card is Normal Summoned successfully, by discarding 1 card from your hand, no Trap Cards can be activated. When this card is Normal Summoned, inflict 500 damage to your opponent's Life Points for each face-up Spell and Trap Card on their side of the field.

The underlined part: It's not clear how long the Trap ban lasts...you need to clarify. Just this turn? Until the card is destroyed?

 

2nd card:

This card can only be activated during your opponent's Battle Phase. Deal 300 damage to your opponent's Live Points for each monster that has attacked this turn. While there are no monsters on your side of the field, the effect of this card cannot be negated.

 

3rd card:

When this card is successfully Summoned, roll a 6-sided die. Remove from play an amount of cards from the top of your Deck equal to the result of the die roll. Until your second Standby Phase after this card was successfully Summoned, you can activate any Spell Cards that were removed from play with this card's effect. During your second Standby Phase after this card was successfully Summoned, remove from the game all cards that are removed from play by this card’s effect.

 

That's a really weirdly worded effect...

Underlines are things I think need to be reworded, but don't know how.

 

Still, these are fantastic cards for a newbie. I'm so happy to see newbies that actually know what they're doing. Keep it up.

[jabberwock]

good cards

8/10

[legendhiro]

these are the best first three cards i've seen come out of a new member in a long time. 10/10.

[santaseve]

Here is a card that i made. Hope you like it:

[Lord Smeagle]

Hey, Santas, post that in your own thread and I'll rate it.

[N00B Hunter]

The first card is overpowered (it's"princess of tsurugi" x 2 with protection). This would be limited if you're lucky... Not surprising for a 1-star.

 

You're next one isn't very useful either. Most turns consist of a maximum of 3 attacks and an average of two. (Oh no! 600 Life Points!?! How did you DO that?!)... I mean, seriously.. You didn't put this in a set, so there's no excuse for that, and this is a pitiful single. Not useful. But you're a 1-star so it's fine.

 

The last card is balanced and useful, though. It might get semi-limited, but the potential of this card seems very good.

 

So the balance of the first is off, the usefulness of the second is off, but I really love your writing and pictures (2nd one is a little off though..). Good job there :mrgreen:

 

For a new addition to the site, you're doing very well. However, it makes me wonder.. Even "Dj Osiris" wasn't as skilled as you. Is this "Chaos Master Yddisac" or "Supreme Grandmaster" in another guise? Or maybe "Stardust".. Meh. Time will tell I suppose.

 

Keep it up!

[╬「Selatcia」╬]

As the above said, these are impressive for a new member.

 

1st pic I've seen before (Not sure if it's overused though)

 

OR: 8/10

NR: 9/10