Dark Posted January 2, 2009 Report Share Posted January 2, 2009 You added some extra, un-needed text, but someone already pointed that out, and you already fixed it. Underpowered, I can assume. It's underpowered to Summon it, normal when it is Summoned. There should be a card in the set that somewhat protects it from getting attacked. Overall, pretty nice. 8.5/10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iKiller Posted January 2, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 2, 2009 The set is still to come ;) And once Summoned, if you can protect it for one or two turns, it can gain ATK easily, and eliminate your opponents Life Points AND Monsters. Summoning is tricky, but after that, it's a blow away! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~ P O L A R I S ~ Posted January 2, 2009 Report Share Posted January 2, 2009 OCG: This card cannot be Normal Summoned or Set. This card can only be Special Summoned by Tributing 1 face-up Level 8 or higher DARK Spellcaster-Type monster you control. Once per turn during your Main Phase 1, Special Summon 1 "Hatchling Token" (Dragon-Type/FIRE/Level 1/ATK 1000/DEF 800) in Defense Position. These tokens cannot be Tributed for a Tribute Summon. You can Tribute 1 "Hatchling Token" you control to destroy 1 face-up card your opponent controls, inflict damage to your opponent equal to this card's ATK, and have this card gain 1000 ATK. Errors: -Specify the type of Summon, I'll assume that you're thinking of the most popular effect Summoning, Special Summoning, and add in the fact that it can't be Summoned except for Special Summoning by adding in this starting sentence: "This card cannot be Normal Summoned or Set." -2 -Add "you control" for the whole Tributing a Level 8 or higher DARK Spellcaster thing. -1 -When you're using "Once per turn during your ____ Phase", there is no comma after "Once per turn", just a comma after the phase. -1 -"Hatchling Tokens" cannot be used as a Tribute for a Tribute Summon (or Set).="These tokens cannot be Tributed for a Tribute Summon." I know you were referencing the Hobby League Scapegoat, but Metabo Globster and Fires of Doomsday, which were released after the HL05 Scapegoat, are errata'd as I've stated. -2 -The second last sentence is an effect triggered by the cost, and should go with the other effects triggered by the cost, see the fix above for details. -2 12/20 Name: Uncap the T in the. Words like "the", "of", "from", etc do not have their first letter capped in card names. As for Dementontz, it's a little on the silly side. 3/5 Picture: The "out-of-border" thing might look nice, but it's unrealistic. It looks kind of odd and blurred in and around the guy's neck. 12/15 Effect Quality: This sort of effect needs the card to have 0 ATK, not ?. Cards that have ? ATK are cards that immediately boost once they hit the field. This is just a card which starts at 0, and it has an optional way of boosting the effect, yet it should still have 0 ATK. I don't think it has much point as a Tuner, since if you're Tributing a Level 8 or higher DARK Spellcaster for it (which is already better than most Synchros), and then taking all that work to get this Tuner and making a Synchro Summon out of it, you'll've just wasted cards, since this is the only use it has as a Tuner, I really doubt that it should be a Tuner. 12/20 Balance: I'm calling this underpowered, you already know why. The Summoning req. I'd suggest a Level 8 or higher DARK monster or a Level 6 or higher Dark Spellcaster, but a Level 8 or higher Dark Spellcaster is somewhat ridiculous, especially since DMoC's banning. 15/20 Originality: The card edits are new, black writing and out-of-border, but lengthy Token effects have been done before and have been a part of YCM for a long time. Not to mention Konami's even done some, such as Goka. 9/10 Details: Set ID is good, circulation is good, it's all realistic. Except for that sticker, it isn't a gold sticker, it's a Yellow sticker, I'd crop one off of a card if I were you. Even if it were a gold sticker, only 1st Edition and LIMITED EDITION cards have 'em. 8/10 TOTAL: 71/100 Can see you put some effort in, but there're some things you'll have to improve or the judges'll burn you for 'em every time. ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A●O●J Posted January 2, 2009 Report Share Posted January 2, 2009 The picture popping out of the card is cool. Like how the Duel Master and Pokemon cards do that also. I had difficulty thinking about the effect but it seems to be balanced enough. I don't like the picture it looks sort of corny and not very yu gi ohish. But thats just my opinion. 8/10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iKiller Posted January 2, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 2, 2009 OCG: This card cannot be Normal Summoned or Set. This card can only be Special Summoned by Tributing 1 face-up Level 8 or higher DARK Spellcaster-Type monster you control. Once per turn during your Main Phase 1' date=' Special Summon 1 "Hatchling Token" (Dragon-Type/FIRE/Level 1/ATK 1000/DEF 800) in Defense Position. These tokens cannot [b']be Tributed for a Tribute Summon[/b]. You can Tribute 1 "Hatchling Token" you control to destroy 1 face-up card your opponent controls, inflict damage to your opponent equal to this card's ATK, and have this card gain 1000 ATK. Errors: -Specify the type of Summon, I'll assume that you're thinking of the most popular effect Summoning, Special Summoning, and add in the fact that it can't be Summoned except for Special Summoning by adding in this starting sentence: "This card cannot be Normal Summoned or Set." -2 -Add "you control" for the whole Tributing a Level 8 or higher DARK Spellcaster thing. -1 -When you're using "Once per turn during your ____ Phase", there is no comma after "Once per turn", just a comma after the phase. -1 For All The Above - Look At The Newer Version -"Hatchling Tokens" cannot be used as a Tribute for a Tribute Summon (or Set).="These tokens cannot be Tributed for a Tribute Summon." I know you were referencing the Hobby League Scapegoat, but Metabo Globster and Fires of Doomsday, which were released after the HL05 Scapegoat, are errata'd as I've stated. -2 Thanks for this info, I'll take this in on board :D -The second last sentence is an effect triggered by the cost, and should go with the other effects triggered by the cost, see the fix above for details. -2 Actually, the order is allowed, Summoning Conditions --> ATK/DEF (If "?") --> Other Effects (Clumped Together) 12/20 Name: Uncap the T in the. Words like "the", "of", "from", etc do not have their first letter capped in card names. As for Dementontz, it's a little on the silly side. Lol, names don't matter in cards, it could be whatever I want it to be, I could call him "DemeNTONTz" if I wanted to, and it'd be allowed. As for the holo, I messed up :'( And I know it's on the 'silly side', but it's unique :D 3/5 Picture: The "out-of-border" thing might look nice, but it's unrealistic. It looks kind of odd and blurred in and around the guy's neck. 12/15 If I wanted it to be realistic, I wouldn't do it like that. This 'out-of-border' idea is to show it's my card :P Effect Quality: This sort of effect needs the card to have 0 ATK, not ?. Cards that have ? ATK are cards that immediately boost once they hit the field. This is just a card which starts at 0, and it has an optional way of boosting the effect, yet it should still have 0 ATK. I don't think it has much point as a Tuner, since if you're Tributing a Level 8 or higher DARK Spellcaster for it (which is already better than most Synchros), and then taking all that work to get this Tuner and making a Synchro Summon out of it, you'll've just wasted cards, since this is the only use it has as a Tuner, I really doubt that it should be a Tuner. Wow, never thought of it like that, I guess it should be 0 ATK. As I said before, it's also part of a set, the /Tuner is needed, it goes perfectly with my card concept. 12/20 Balance: I'm calling this underpowered, you already know why. The Summoning req. I'd suggest a Level 8 or higher DARK monster or a Level 6 or higher Dark Spellcaster, but a Level 8 or higher Dark Spellcaster is somewhat ridiculous, especially since DMoC's banning. It's not exactly a real card (yet :D), so nevermind that. It's a high level, as I mentioned earlier, in my set, it'll give more boosts later on, the requirement will have 2 Level 8 DARK Spellcasters in it, and aswell as cards like "Noisy Gnat", you have help. Same as Tuner, there are many Level Up type cards in the set (or will be). 15/20 Originality: The card edits are new, black writing and out-of-border, but lengthy Token effects have been done before and have been a part of YCM for a long time. Not to mention Konami's even done some, such as Goka. Thanks! I practice my card edits frequently, these are usually what get me good results :D 9/10 Details: Set ID is good, circulation is good, it's all realistic. Except for that sticker, it isn't a gold sticker, it's a Yellow sticker, I'd crop one off of a card if I were you. Even if it were a gold sticker, only 1st Edition and LIMITED EDITION cards have 'em. I know, but I forgot to add that, I didn't originally because the YCMaker here makes it really unrealistic. Shuttup about what I said earlier that I wasn't trying to make it realistic! I'm confused! Lol. 8/10 TOTAL: 71/100 Can see you put some effort in, but there're some things you'll have to improve or the judges'll burn you for 'em every time. ;) 71 is still good compared to some cards. I suppose I'd better get my card skills better before I finalize my set -.-" And, judges love me! *cries* You're useful :D Look at the newer version though. +Rep! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DiGGDaGG Posted January 2, 2009 Report Share Posted January 2, 2009 Card's name is Tribute to Demented?? :twisted: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iKiller Posted January 3, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 3, 2009 Card's name is Tribute to Demented?? :twisted: No, I just came up with the name randomly. However, I was browsing YCM at the time, so I could have gotten the idea from his name. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrimalFear Posted January 3, 2009 Report Share Posted January 3, 2009 I think it might be slightly UP but good card 8/10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iKiller Posted January 3, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 3, 2009 How is it underpowered? Just because of the Summoning Conditons? If so, wait until my set -.-" And how can I make it a 10/10? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
narutojunkii Posted June 19, 2009 Report Share Posted June 19, 2009 I like it! To all those who don't just keep it 2 yurself! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacikus Posted June 19, 2009 Report Share Posted June 19, 2009 New version is better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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