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Organization XIII

Phantom Roxas

By Phantom Roxas
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Zexaeon Newbie

Zexaeon

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@Nex: I never said Megumi wasn't interesting. I like him a lot. I'm just saying that just because he's a tragic hero doesn't make him the best SE antagonist ever.

 

And I don't agree that Seymour and Golbez are the only villains you can't figure out right away. Like I said, Kuja was rather surprising, as was Jecht, and even Kefka at the very end pulled a little surprise on you. Sephiroth's goal was rather different than what one had expected upon initially playing VII, too.

 

 

Also, those Top __ games of all time are bogus, and I never bother reading them, regardless of who does it. It's always the collective opinion of just a few of the Magazine Editors anyway.

 

And they always seem to think that Classic=Beast. Therefore, Tetris is Beast. Clearly.

 

-_-

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Zexaeon Newbie

Zexaeon

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For now, I'll leave it here.

 

Here it is, with both missing posts in tact and uninterupted.

 

[spoiler=I'm a Spoiler]

 

"Kuja, the Red-Furred Genome,

Had some very shiny fur!

And if Exdeath saw it,

He would say "Durr Hurr Hurr!"

 

All of the other Genomes,

used to laugh and call him gay!

They never expected Kuja,

to try and and all of their Days!

 

Then one foggy Christmas Eve,

Chaos came to say:

"Kuja with your thong so tight,

won't you kill Cosmos tonight?"

 

Then all the villains loved him,

and they shouted out with glee:

"Screw all those ****ing Genomes,

we're your brand new family!"

 

 

 

 

Kuja: *wearing Antlers and a red nose* Please explain to me why I am doing this.

 

Mateus: Simple. I've taken over the North Pole, and now it is my responsibility to deliver gifts to the world. You are to be my reindeer. Surely that is a role you can fulfill?

 

Kuja: I can fulfill any role, don't insult me! But it still begs the question - why are you of all people elcting to deliver gifts to the World?

 

Mateus: *smirk* You'll just have to wait and find out, now won't you?

 

Kefka: Can I wear the hat?

 

Mateus: *glances over and Stares for a moment* ...I suppose.

 

Kefka: ^_^ *Hops into the sleigh with the hat on*

 

Ultimecia: *wearing a sexy Missus Clause getup* Shall we be off then?

 

Mateus: Indeed. *Puts on santa costume*

 

'Twas the Night before Christmas, and soaring through the night,

was a troup of trouble-makers, looking to blight..

 

 

 

At the first house of Christmas, The Angel gave to me,

A sword sticking through Dis Pear tree~

 

Mateus: We have arrived. *pulls the reigns on Kuja, who is flying through the air and pulling the sleigh behind him*

 

Kuja: Don't pull so hard, clumsy oaf!

 

Mateus: *Ignores* Land here, if you please.

 

Kuja: *Huffs and then lands the Sleigh on top of the house. A sign outside reads 'CLOUD'S HOUSE GO AWAY"*

 

Ultimecia: We shall make him eat dis pear.... *holds up a pear*

 

Kefka: oh, is that what we're here for? Sounds like fun~

 

Mateus: Come, down the chimney we go.

 

Kuja: *Stares* We're never going to fit down that thing. And honey, I've been on weight watchers. *Snip snap*

 

Ultimecia: Really? It shows. I wanted to say something, but you know...

 

Kuja: Oh, it's fine, it's fine~

 

Ultimecia: Well you look great.

 

Kuja: Thanks! I think so to-

 

Mateus: Silence! *Flares the Chimney* There. Problem solved.

 

Kefka: *Grin* I need to get me some Smack...

 

 

 

Mateus: *Pokes his head through the chimney* The coast is clear. Go.

 

*And so, the group fell into the Living Room, prepared to loot*

 

Mateus: Kefka, you hit the kitchen. Kuja and I will get the tree.

 

Ultimecia: *Goes Upstairs*

 

Kuja: *Grabs the Tree* Oh, I get it now! We're stealing Christmas!

 

Mateus: *Gives him an “Are you F***ing Serious” look* Nooooo, I Never would have guessed. Sigh. Just take it up the Chimney.

 

Kefka: *From Kitchen* Ooh! He's got SMACKS cereal!

 

Ultimecia: *Comes downstairs* I shoved a Pear down his throat. We should go.

 

Mateus: Right then. Away!

 

And so it was, amidst jeering cheers,

That the Quartet escaped, leaving behind Tears.

 

 

 

At the Lion's House of Christmas, The Angel Gave to me,

Two TURTLE doves,

and a sword sticking through Dis Pear Tree.

 

Squall: *Sleeping peacefully until his phone starts to ring* Ugh... *slams hand on phone and slowly answers groggily* Hello?

 

Cloud: Squall.

 

Squall: I'm sleeping. What the hell do you want?

 

Cloud: Ultimecia just shoved a pear down my throat and then ran down the stairs. I think I heard other people down there too.

 

Squall: So go check it out...?

 

Cloud: I don't want to. My Christmas might be ruined if I do.

 

Squall: ....Come again?

 

Cloud: Tifa used to make me watch all these Christmas Specials. And I think that Ultimecia is trying to steal Christmas. But unlike in the movies, I won't be able to just get over that by singing some stupid song.

 

Squall: So what the hell do you want me to do about it?

 

Cloud: They'll probably hit your house next. Maybe you can Rough Divide them or something?

 

Squall: ...and let me guess, get your stuff back?

 

Cloud: It'd be appreciated.

 

Squall: "Not Interested."

 

Cloud: Screw you.

 

Squall: You would.

 

Cloud: *****

 

Squall: Such language.

 

Cloud: *Hangs up*

 

Squall: *Goes to sleep, staring at a wall*

 

 

 

You know Exdeath and Garland and Golbez and Cloudy,

Sephy and Ulti and Kefka and Gabby,

But the one, most pretty of them all....

 

 

Mateus: That was quite the success.

 

Kefka: *Riffling through the bag of loot* Ohohohohoho, absolutely!

 

Ultimecia: I shoved a Pear down Cloud's throat. That's all I care about.

 

Kuja: Still, you could have told me what we were doing! I felt used during the first part of this trip!

 

Ultimecia: You're pulling a sleigh that we're all riding in. You don't still feel used?

 

Kuja: ....You'd best watch what you say next. Or the earrings are coming off.

 

Ultimecia: Bring it, girlfriend!

 

Mateus: Now now, enough of this. This is exactly what they want us to do - fight amongst ourselves.

 

Kefka: Who's they?

 

Mateus: Hell if I know.

 

Kuja: Aha! Our next house!

 

Mateus: *Smirk* Yes. Let's land here, then.

 

 

The stockings were hung by the Chimney with Care,

But come Morning time, they wouldn't be there.

 

 

 

At the third House of Christmas, The Angel gave to me,

Three Cycle Men (Garland: You're finished!)

Two TURTLE Doves

And a Sword sticking through Dis Pear tree!

 

Kefka: *Looking at a Photo* Ohhh, isn't this precious...

 

Kuja: *Stealing gifts* What have you got there?

 

Kefka: Ah, it's so sweet... MAKES ME WANNA PUKE MY GUTS OUT! *Smashes the photo on the ground, laughing*

 

Kuja: *Plucks the photo up* Ah, a picture of the girl and her precious Onion. How adorable.

 

Ultimecia: *Goes Upstairs*

 

Mateus: Enough chatter. There's more to be done.

 

Ultimecia: *Comes back downstairs* I Put hot Turtle Soup on her face.

 

Mateus: *Stares* ...Are you trying to ruin this for us?

 

Ultimecia: How do you mean?

 

Mateus: If you keep waking people up, it doesn't help us.

 

Ultimecia: True... But I just couldn't resist.

 

Terra: *Comes running down the stairs* Ah! You four! GET AWAY!

 

Mateus: Meddlesome. *Thunder Crests*

 

Terra: Ah! Ooh! Ooh! Ah! Ooh! Ah! Ah! Ooh!

 

Kuja: Quickly, up the Chimney!

 

*The Four Escaped!*

 

Terra: *Collapses* I mustn't ruin... everyone's hopes...

 

Kefka: *Outside, with face pressed against the window* Hopes aren't worth DIRT.

 

Terra: Ah! A stalker! GET AWAY!

 

And thus did the troop steal off into the eve,

Only after stealing everything would they leave...

 

You're a mean one, Mister Emps.

You really, are a, Swine!

You're as friendly as a Spider, you're as pleasant as A Muk,

Mister EeeeeeeeeeeeeMPS!

I wouldn't touch you with your, Six and a half foot pole!!!!!

 

 

 

At the Fourth house of Christmas, The Angel gave to me,

Four Calling Birds (Kuja: Tra La La La!)

Three Cycle Men ("You're Finished!")

Two TURTLE Doves

And a Sword sticking through Dis Pear Tree!

 

*Kuja lands the sleigh softly atop the next house*

 

Kuja: Aha! Zidane's house at last!

 

Mateus: Surely this one holds some personal merit for you.

 

Kuja: Of course it does! I'll weave a ballad of thievery into the very air of his home, and will allow him to sing his song of despair come the dawn!

 

Ultimecia: Ooh, poetic.

 

Kuja: Why thank you.

 

Ultimecia: Don't mention it.

 

Mateus: *Flares the Chimney* Shall we?

 

Kefka: *Eating his SMACKS* This will be titillating.

 

*Inside the House*

 

Zidane: *Hiding behind the couch* Didja hear that Bartz? Santa must be on our roof!

 

Bartz: Yeah! I totally heard it! We're gonna see him! *Also hiding*

 

Tidus: *Also also hiding* I've always wanted to see Santa!

 

*Mateus, Ultimecia, Kefka, and Kuja come down the chimney*

 

Bartz: Hey! That's not Santa!

 

Kefka: Ooh! They're awake!

 

Kuja: What are you three doing up!? And here, no less.

 

Zidane: We were having a slumber party! But never mind that, what have you done with Santa!?

 

Mateus: *Chuckle* The fat red one? Oh rest assured, he's safe and sound. For now.

 

Tidus: You fiend! *takes out sword*

 

Ultimecia: Not so fast! *Sends three Knight's Axes sailing for Tidus, stopping them just short of his throat as Zidane leaps out with daggers aloft, prepared to strike*

 

Mateus: *Releases a Flare into the air, stopping to block Zidane's path*

 

Kefka: Ahahahahahahah! Traaaa, laaaaaa, laaaaaa! *Fires off some Ultima bursts, wrecking up the living room and sending Tidus and Zidane flying*

 

Bartz: *Leaps out of the way just in time, throwing out a Reel Axe, only to have it deflected by Flare Star from Kuja, sending Bartz flying to land in a heap on top of Zidane and Tidus* Ow...

 

Mateus: Stay put. *Thunder Crests the three of them*

 

Ultimecia: And we'll be going. TIME! *Freezes time for them, as she and the other three begin looting the house*

 

Kefka: Well, THIS is an odd tree...

 

Exdeath: VOID.

 

Garland: Rawr. *Hanging around Exdeath in impossible contortions so that he looks like a sash*

 

Kuja: Never mind how it looks, just stuff it into the bag with everything else!

 

Kefka: *shrugs, stuffing them like so*

 

Ultimecia: What should we do about them? *Gestures at the frozen heroes, trapped in the Crest*

 

Mateus: Reverse time on their memories. Cloud's and Terra's, too, if you can.

 

Ultimecia: Psssh, please honey, I'm in a fan-fiction right now. I can do anything I want. Watch this. *Magically conjures a Girrafe out of nowhere* See?

 

Mateus: Fair point. But let's try and at least pretend we're bound by canon?

 

Ultimecia: Fine... TIME! *Wipes some memories because I say she can*

 

Kuja: Now, let us be off!

 

Kefka: Up the chimney! Through the night! Let's rob them all of fun and delight!

 

Kuja: *Lightly applauds*

 

*And off they went!*

 

Tidus: Ugh....what happened?

 

Bartz: I feel empty.

 

Zidane: And sad.... look! Our stuff is gone!

 

Bartz: Santa.... robbed us?

 

All Three: Baw~

 

 

We wish you a crummy Christmas,

We wish you a crummy Christmas,

We Wish you a Crummy Christmas,

And a Highly Evasive New Year!

 

 

At the fifth House of Christmas, The Angel gave to me,

FIVE GOLDEN RINGS (Mateus: Ha Ha Ha HA!)

Four Calling Birds (Kuja: Tra La La!)

Three Cycle Men (Garland: You're Finished!)

Two TURTLE Doves

And a Sword sticking through Dis Pear Tree!

 

Ultimecia: What are you up to?

 

Kefka: Just riffling through this bag... *Rummaging through some of the stolen loot* What are we going to do with all of this, anyhow?

 

Mateus: Why, toss it off a ravine, of course. And then set it aflame.

 

Kefka: <3_<3

 

Kuja: Ah~ The next house is there!

 

Ultimecia: Terrific. Let's land.

 

Mateus: *Grinning wickedly*

 

Kefka: Ohohoho...I'll bet I know who's house THIS is!

 

*After a Flare, down the Chimney they went!*

 

Kefka: I'll get the Kitchen. I'm all out of SMACKS.

 

Ultimecia: I'll get the presents~

 

Kuja: That leaves US with the tree.

 

Mateus: Indeed. *Smirk*

 

Twas quite a large tree, in fact, nay, more!

Why the tree couldn't even be fit through the door!

It was decorated with jingles, jongles and jangles,

The Emperor even spotted a few shining rectangles!

 

The clown swept the Kitchen, in and out in a flash,

Why he even took out the last can of Super Hash.

The witch took the presents, the gifts and the bows,

and up the chimney with them she rose.

 

The actor had his end of the tree inside,

And on his way up he went, waiting on the other side.

while the Emperor struggled and pushed and shoved,

He heard a slight sound, though not the coo of a dove.

 

Quickly putting on his hat and shimmering white beard,

he turned toward the stairs to see who was here.

And who should he see, dressed in a night shirt of blue,

other than Firion the Rebel, who was from Final Fantasy Two!

 

"Santa?" he asked, his words groggy and meek,

"Why are you taking our tree?" he asked, his eyes starting to leak.

But The Emperor, so crafty and wise,

was an expert of cooking up last-minute lies.

 

"My dear boy," he said, in his kindest voice,

"I'm taking the tree because I have no other choice!

A light has gone out, you see, right here-"

And The Emperor snapped a bulb, just to make his point clear.

 

"I want to bring a happy Christmas to all!

So I will fix this light, so your mood doesn't fall!

I'll take it to my workshop, and be done in a jiff,

so go on back to bed, and your gifts will be swift!"

 

And Firion smiled, his sleepy eyes full of glee,

In his sleepy state, gullible as can be!

And so he gave Santa a hug, and got a pat on the head,

And grabbed a cup of water, heading off to bed.

 

With the lowly worm gone, happy as a pup,

The Emperor turned back around, and stuffed the tree up.

 

Kuja: What on earth took you so long?

 

Mateus: Just taking care of some business, that's all.

 

*And thus, the group flew away~*

 

 

 

At the Sixth House of Christmas, The Angel gave to me,

Six Golbezes Praying,

FIVE GOLDEN RINGS (Mateus: Ha Ha Ha HA!)

Four Calling Birds (Kuja: Tra La La!)

Three Cycle Men (Garland: You're Finished!)

Two TURTLE Doves

And a Sword sticking through Dis Pear Tree!

 

Kuja: Ah, the Simpleton's home.

 

Ultimecia: Hmmm, but he was already with Zidane, and Bartz.

 

Mateus: Jecht is likely still home.

 

Kefka: And the saps'll probably have stuff inside to take anyway! Heeheehee, let's take their hopes way and destroy it all!

 

Kuja: Hmm. That brute will be problematic if he catches us.

 

Ultimecia: I don't want to get Jecht PAWNCHED.

 

Mateus: Not to worry. I anonymously sent him some booze as a "gift". He'll be passed out drunk by now.

 

Kefka: Ohhheeehee! An ingenius plan~!

 

Ultimecia: How convenient. A large Chimney for once.

 

Mateus: *Flares it anyway*

 

*And so the troop came down, peaking about,

For if Jecht were alerted, there would surely be a bout!*

 

Jecht: Zzzzzz..... c'mon, Golbez, loosen up a bit, and have another drink.... zzzzzz.... Ha! Can't even hold yer liquor.... zzzzzzz.... Boy, you eatin' right? I'ma bop you one... donchu touch my alcohol....

 

Kuja: *Shakes his head* Honestly, not an ounce of grace.

 

Ultimecia: Looks like he only has a few presents.

 

Kuja: I'll check upstairs~ *Floats off*

 

Kefka: What a shabby tree...

 

And shabby it was, that tree of the drunk,

For it was naught but some twigs, though it smelled of funk.

 

Kefka: I want to dance suddenly.

 

And dance he did, the clown with his laugh,

He danced enough for two men, and a half.

 

Mateus: *Flares the Tree* Enough of that.

 

Kuja: *Comes down the stairs* I found some presents and forced them into the bag. Let us be off!

 

Jecht: ....Zzzzzz..... Hey dere, perty lady... come over here... I'm the Great Jecht, ya know...

 

Ultimecia: *Stares longingly and gulps*

 

Kuja: Fight it, girl. You don't need no man in yo life. *Z-Snap*

 

Ultimecia: Girlfriend, you right. I ain't nevuh gonna have no man holding me down. *Rocks head in a circular motion*

 

Mateus: ...Right.

 

Kefka: Ahahahah! I can't stop laugin'!

 

Jecht: huh!? *snaps up* WHOZZERE?!

 

Ultimecia: Cheese it! *Throws down a smoke bomb*

 

Jecht: *Blinking* Musta been my imagination. *Conks out*

 

 

Kuja: *On the roof* Well, that was certainly a close call.

 

Mateus: You all fear that man far too much.

 

Ultimecia: I saw you running just as fast as we were.

 

Mateus: Not for fear - I just didn't have time to waste. We still have more work to do.

 

And thus did the troop fly off with a shiver -

Bravado or not, Jecht made them quiver!

 

Now you may be wondering, dear friends, as to what,

Is the cause of this venture, so enjoy this scene cut.

 

Kefka is a clown with no zest for Hope,

Some would say that this makes him a dope.

But he simply has not the understanding or will,

For Magitek made him simply want to kill!

 

"Destructing is what makes life worth living!"

The Clown is vexed by the concept of giving.

So he rides through the night, thinking only of fun,

Which means destruction, and making others run.

 

Ultimecia, the time-woman is a magical Witch,

She also just happens to be a real huge B****.

An ideal world is what she truly craves,

"Christmas is pointless. I'll give it a grave."

 

Can she understand the concept of joy and love?

Of simple pleasures from others, or hope from above?

We can only question, and perhaps make a wish,

That Ultimecia might find this most lovely dish.

 

Kuja, The Genome, is scorned by so many,

Understanding, Family, he does not have any.

At least none whom he could deem worthy enough,

Of his magnanimous presence, his magnificent loft.

 

But deep inside he is lonely, so completely alone,

And wants nothing more than a true place to call his own,

But scorning others, he takes out his wrath on the land,

"If I can't be happy, then nobody can!"

 

Now The Emperor, the man who craves absolute power,

Has little reason to his actions, his whim of the hour.

Some say that his mind is not quite right,

Others say his High Heels might just be too tight.

 

But the real, most important problem of all,

Is that The Emperor's heart was ten sizes too small.

And Black as the ace of spades, I might add,

Though at least he looked totally, completely fab.

 

 

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Jacoby746 Newbie

Jacoby746

Posted
Posted

I got RE: CoM 2 weeks ago. I've beat both stories, and I think that Vexen was the hardest out of all of the bosses.

 

I liked Riku's story better because of the fact that you don't have to worry about making the right deck and you usually don't sleight spam due to lack of sleights in reg. mode.

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