Are you the funniest person on Earth? (POLL ADDED)

[Pikachu]

Is there a limit on how many jokes can be submitted by one member?

[Nishi-chan]

Nope

[Pikachu]

HOORAY!

 

Now let me remember/find some more jokes...

[Lyfe.]

Lol' date=' yea.

Wanna post a joke, sir?

[/quote']

Mm no thanks, I am good. *leaves*

[JG.]

Why does Naishi start floating when he talks? It's all hot air.

 

Yeah, terrible I know. And Niashi, it wasn't directed at you, I just needed and exampe, it cold be anyone.

[Lyfe.]

You could have used me as an example. Because then I could laugh at you.

[JG.]

Why does Lyfe start floating when he talks? It's all hot air.

 

There ya go xD Also, I know it's terrible.

[Lyfe.]

Hahaha you used me as an example to a terrible laugh. Jokes on you!

 

See? I made you laugh, didn't I? [:l

[Shrekstasy]

So...

 

We was watchin' "Cleopatra" in World Civilizations class.

Cleopatra brought out a large, golden box for Marc Antony.

I said "It's my dick in a box."

[T. Sankara]

So...

 

We was watchin' "Cleopatra" in World Civilizations class.

Cleopatra brought out a large' date=' golden box for Marc Antony.

I said "It's my dick in a box."

[/quote']

 

Funny song, lame joke.

[JG.]

Hahaha you used me as an example to a terrible laugh. Jokes on you!

 

See? I made you laugh' date=' didn't I? [:l

[/quote']

 

Uhh... No?

[Blamonchesix]

The Internet is a series of tubes.

[Lyfe.]

Hahaha you used me as an example to a terrible laugh. Jokes on you!

 

See? I made you laugh' date=' didn't I? [:l

[/quote']

 

Uhh... No?

Uhh... Yes?

 

The Internet is a series of tubes.

Dont be makin fun of my screen saver!

[Blamonchesix]

Hahaha you used me as an example to a terrible laugh. Jokes on you!

 

See? I made you laugh' date=' didn't I? [:l

[/quote']

 

Uhh... No?

Uhh... Yes?

 

The Internet is a series of tubes.

Dont be makin fun of my screen saver!

 

LOL. I wasn't XD

[Lyfe.]

I think you were! Well, that's only on the PC's. Mine for my Mac is all my Album Covers on my iTunes. And one flips at a time and a new one appears. It's epic if you like music.

[Blamonchesix]

I think you were! Well' date=' that's only on the PC's. Mine for my Mac is all my Album Covers on my iTunes. And one flips at a time and a new one appears. It's epic if you like music.

[/quote']

 

Nice. (^_^)

 

 

 

 

This was the first thread I made here at the General Section.

(Might be funny/Might be not. Your choice.)

 

Ways on how to lose weight.

 

Basically, the only thing we need is determination and discipline.

Below is the list of what we can do with our free time equal to the calories we burn every hour

 

Basketball ----------------------------------- 800 calories per hour (cph)

Volleyball ----------------------------------------------------- 500 cph

Gambling -----------------------------------------------------100 cph

Watching: Survivor ------------------------------------------- 60 cph

Watching: Porn ----------------------------------------------- 300 cph

Watching: Porn (No Cuts) ------------------------------------- 950 cph

Watching: Speeches ------------------------------------------ 1 cph

Tennis -------------------------------------------------------- 410 cph

Judo ---------------------------------------------------------- 900 cph

Riot --------------------------------------------------------- 1,000 cph

Table Tennis ------------------------------------------------- 240 cph

Table, Chairs and Party needs ------------------------------- FOR RENT

Web Browsing ------------------------------------------------- 40 cph

Playing a Video Game ------------------------------------------ 540 cph

Walking at the sea shore --------------------------------------- 50 cph

Walking at the side walk --------------------------------------- 350 cph

Walking at the side walk (at midnight) -------------------------- 890 cph

Mountain Climbing --------------------------------------------- 600 cph

Social Climbing ------------------------------------------------ 710 cph

Chat: Internet ------------------------------------------------- 1 cph

Chat: Text Messages ------------------------------------------ 1 cph

Chat: Phone --------------------------------------------------- 1 cph

Sleeping ------------------------------------------------------- 1 cph

Swimming ---------------------------------------------------- 300 cph

Swimming (with sharks) --------------------------------------- 980 cph

Skiing -------------------------------------------------------- 600 cph

Skiing (with avalanche) -------------------------------------- 1600 cph

Cycling ------------------------------------------------------ 210 cph

Running ------------------------------------------------------ 500 cph

Running for public office -----------------------------------1,584.73 cph

Arraignment ---------------------------------------------- 26,250 cph

Lethal Injection ------------------------------------------- 26,251 cph

Chopped walnuts ------------------------------------------ 1/2 cup

Flour ----------------------------------------------------- 1 cup

Margarine ------------------------------------------------- 1/2 cup

Cream cheese -------------------------------------------- 8 oz.

Confectioner's sugar --------------------------------------- 1 cup

Cool whip ------------------------------------------------ 1 cup

Instant vanilla pudding ------------------------------------- 1 ea.

Instant butterscotch pudding ------------------------------ 1 ea.

Milk ------------------------------------------------------- 2 & 3/4 cup

 

Mix the margarine and flour in a mixing bowl. Add the 1/4 cup of walnut. Put in a 9" x 13" pan. Cook in the oven for 15 minutes at 350 degrees. Let it cool down. Mix the sugar with the cream cheese. Add the 1/2 cup of cool whip. Spread it at the cold crust. Mix the 2 puddings with milk. Mix until it becomes a little hard. Spread the cheese mixture onto the crust. Spread the remaining cool whip on top and add the remaining 1/4 cup of walnuts. Put in the refrigerator for about an hour. Eat in bed and watch TV...... mmmmmmmm, delicious! (Repeat 2x then fade)

 

 

 

 

 

I got this from a book. I just roughly translated a part of it and thought it would be nice to share it to someone. I had fun reading it. Hope you did too. (^_^)

[Lyfe.]

I think you were! Well' date=' that's only on the PC's. Mine for my Mac is all my Album Covers on my iTunes. And one flips at a time and a new one appears. It's epic if you like music.

[/quote']

 

Nice. (^_^)

 

 

 

 

This was the first thread I made here at the General Section.

(Might be funny/Might be not. Your choice.)

 

Ways on how to lose weight.

 

Basically, the only thing we need is determination and discipline.

Below is the list of what we can do with our free time equal to the calories we burn every hour

 

Basketball ----------------------------------- 800 calories per hour (cph)

Volleyball ----------------------------------------------------- 500 cph

Gambling -----------------------------------------------------100 cph

Watching: Survivor ------------------------------------------- 60 cph

Watching: Porn ----------------------------------------------- 300 cph

Watching: Porn (No Cuts) ------------------------------------- 950 cph

Watching: Speeches ------------------------------------------ 1 cph

Tennis -------------------------------------------------------- 410 cph

Judo ---------------------------------------------------------- 900 cph

Riot --------------------------------------------------------- 1,000 cph

Table Tennis ------------------------------------------------- 240 cph

Table, Chairs and Party needs ------------------------------- FOR RENT

Web Browsing ------------------------------------------------- 40 cph

Playing a Video Game ------------------------------------------ 540 cph

Walking at the sea shore --------------------------------------- 50 cph

Walking at the side walk --------------------------------------- 350 cph

Walking at the side walk (at midnight) -------------------------- 890 cph

Mountain Climbing --------------------------------------------- 600 cph

Social Climbing ------------------------------------------------ 710 cph

Chat: Internet ------------------------------------------------- 1 cph

Chat: Text Messages ------------------------------------------ 1 cph

Chat: Phone --------------------------------------------------- 1 cph

Sleeping ------------------------------------------------------- 1 cph

Swimming ---------------------------------------------------- 300 cph

Swimming (with sharks) --------------------------------------- 980 cph

Skiing -------------------------------------------------------- 600 cph

Skiing (with avalanche) -------------------------------------- 1600 cph

Cycling ------------------------------------------------------ 210 cph

Running ------------------------------------------------------ 500 cph

Running for public office -----------------------------------1,584.73 cph

Arraignment ---------------------------------------------- 26,250 cph

Lethal Injection ------------------------------------------- 26,251 cph

Chopped walnuts ------------------------------------------ 1/2 cup

Flour ----------------------------------------------------- 1 cup

Margarine ------------------------------------------------- 1/2 cup

Cream cheese -------------------------------------------- 8 oz.

Confectioner's sugar --------------------------------------- 1 cup

Cool whip ------------------------------------------------ 1 cup

Instant vanilla pudding ------------------------------------- 1 ea.

Instant butterscotch pudding ------------------------------ 1 ea.

Milk ------------------------------------------------------- 2 & 3/4 cup

 

Mix the margarine and flour in a mixing bowl. Add the 1/4 cup of walnut. Put in a 9" x 13" pan. Cook in the oven for 15 minutes at 350 degrees. Let it cool down. Mix the sugar with the cream cheese. Add the 1/2 cup of cool whip. Spread it at the cold crust. Mix the 2 puddings with milk. Mix until it becomes a little hard. Spread the cheese mixture onto the crust. Spread the remaining cool whip on top and add the remaining 1/4 cup of walnuts. Put in the refrigerator for about an hour. Eat in bed and watch TV...... mmmmmmmm, delicious! (Repeat 2x then fade)

 

 

 

 

 

I got this from a book. I just roughly translated a part of it and thought it would be nice to share it to someone. I had fun reading it. Hope you did too. (^_^)

Less than that. I be eating Cheez Its at the moment.

[因 Element 因]

Sorry this one is to funny to pass up I will star out all the swears

 

A guy dies whilst making love to his wife. A few days later the undertaker calls her and says, "Your husband still has a hard-on, what shall I do with it?" The wife replies, "Cut it off and shove it up his a**!" The undertaker does as he is told. On the day of the funeral the wife visits her husband for the last time and sees a tear rolling down his face, so she whispers in his ear, "It f*****g hurts doesn't it!"

[Mister Sir]

What do you get when you toss a grenade into a French Restaurant?

 

Linoleum Blownaparte.

[Nishi-chan]

Woe o_O

I'm in Element's sig...

[Dark]

What do you get when you toss a grenade into a French Restaurant?

 

Linoleum Blownaparte.

 

I finally understand that joke. *laughs*

[Jinzo]

Chuck Norris does not eat babies. Babies just want to be in Chuck Norris' stomach.

[Lyfe.]

Chuck Norris does not eat babies. Babies just want to be in Chuck Norris' stomach.

No more Chuck Norris jokes :cry:

 

 

So a man walks into a bar. "Ouch!"

[Guest Morpheous Erebos]

A blond walks through a meadow and see another blond in the flowers in a boat. She screams at her "Look at what you're doing! It's blonds like you who give blonds like me a bad name! If I could swim, I'd go over there and kick your a$$!"

[Nishi-chan]