DELTA ATTACKKKKK!!!

[osatsuki11]

finally... here it comes >>>>

 

another here >>>>>

soon i shall create more,you can dicuss about imgs and any other things...(......)

 

Someone... is here...???

[Sleepy]

I think there is only 1 "Delta" monster or 2 at most in the real life game. It wouldn't hurt to change it to "Delta" card instead ;D that way you can do it with Spell and Trap Cards too.

 

Card looks balanced to me. You use this card (-1), you discard 1 card (-1). You draw 2 cards (+2). In theory you don't loose any cards, you speed your Deck a little, you stop your opponent's attacks for 1 whole turn, and it has a cost. I'd say its awesome. AND its damage and not "pay", so you can make some combos or actually make Black Feather Dragon useful.

 

Not bad for a new member ;D

 

OCG(Official Card Grammar... basically errors while writing the effects):

Activate only when your opponent declares an attack[insert period and space here]. Discard 1 "Delta" monster. Draw 2 cards.[insert Space Here] Negate the attack and end the Battle Phase. Also While this card is in your Graveyard, you take 500 points of damage during each of your Draw Phases (only 1 "D.E.L.T.A. Defensive D.R.A.W.!!!" can activate this effect per turn).

[osatsuki11]

is it better??? uhh??? i was thinking of a " Cyber Dragon" tranform in a "Cyber Delta Dragon".what did you think about this???

 

here comes another delta cards that can "SIMPLY" destroy the opponent's mirror force(s)

 

please reply>>>>

[Wave_Sine]

Due to the way you're spelling the Archetype's name, I'd suggest changing references to "Delta" to one of the following:

"D.E.L.T.A"

"D.E.L.T.A" or "Delta"

 

With the first, the effects only target the cards you've made. With the second, the effects can target the cards you've made and any other "Delta" cards that may exist already.

Without the change, your cards will only effect the "Delta" cards that already exist, and not any "D.E.L.T.A" cards you make.

 

Next, as it appears the first card's OCG has been taken care of sufficiently, your next card needs help.

Fixes in bold:

This card cannot be Normal Summoned or Set.[space]This card can only be Special Summoned by sending 3 "D.E.L.T.A." or "Delta" cards you control to the Graveyard.[space]All "D.E.L.T.A." and "Delta" monsters you control gain 400 ATK and DEF.[space]I this card is destroyed, Special Summon a "Guardian Token"(Fairy-Type/LIGHT/Level 4/0 ATK/2000 DEF) in Defense Position to each of your unoccupied Monster Card Zones.

 

Wasn't sure what level the tokens were supposed to be, but 4 seemed like a good starting point. Change it if you think it should be something else.

 

This card's name, "Black Saint - King of the D.E.L.T.A." doesn't fit its Attribute or effect.

 

In my opinion, this card is slightly OP'd, as the tokens generated can be used for anything from Tribute Summons to Synchros. Also, the tokens' names should have something to do with the overlying Archetype, so "D.E.L.T.A. Guardian Token" might work better.

 

Finally, the artwork. The picture for your "Black Saint - King of the D.E.L.T.A." is simply the art for "Commander Gottoms, Swordmaster" inverted with MSPaint or something. Please, go out and find art that isn't just an invert or an existing card. Sites like "DeviantArt" can be a great resource. You could also draw your own.

The art for your other card is also an invert, but I'm not sure which card's art is is an invert of.

 

Effects: 7/10

Art: 2/10 without fix.

 

Overall so far: 4.5/10

 

[edit]You posted before I finished typing my reply to your first two cards, so addendum:

 

Your anti-Mirror Force card is slightly situational, and the OCG needs help. The art is "Radiant Mirror Force" flipped vertically and colors inverted. Otherwise, okay card.

[FTW (For The Wynn)]

Not too awful bad for a noob, but I rate seriously no matter who it is, so be ready

 

Pic: 6/10 I'm not a huge fan of inverting images of cards that already exist, and there are quite a few on YCM that feel that way, except that they'll go way off on it. Just a word of caution. Plus they're not the best images you could've chosen (the first one seems a little blurry).

 

Template: 8/10 Normal Template (This is the standard template, there are others floating around such as Jazin Kay's and Max Darkness's)

 

OCG: 8/10 Some grammatical mistakes and a few OCG mistakes (i.e. putting a space after periods, graveyard=Graveyard, etc.)

 

Originality/Creativity: 7/10 I'll prob rate higher when I figure out if you mean it to be D.E.L.T.A or if it is in fact Delta (huge difference). If it has nothing to do with 'Delta' don't refer to them in your cards. If it does, change D.E.L.T.A to Delta to make things easier to sort out. Either way, when this is done, it'll be pretty original/creative.

 

Playability: 6/10 As it stands, these would be pretty poor to play ATM because of how little support they have. Create more and I'll rate higher, prob 8/10.

 

Overall: 35/50 Good :) especially for a beginner. Follow the advice your given by everyone (as long as it's constructive) and you'll go far.

[osatsuki11]

thanks, i will see what can i change OK???

 

uhhh where i can "make" imgs???

 

after that... it appears that i was dropped in the floor...

 

my idea was to create cards inverted so like these cards has been "convercted,infected" or something like that i can call "D.E.L.T.A" or "Delta" in this case...

[osatsuki11]

I Summon Cyber Delta Dragon!!!!!!!

 

[Sleepy]

thanks, i will see what can i change OK???

 

uhhh where i can "make" imgs???

 

after that... it appears that i was dropped in the floor...

 

my idea was to create cards inverted so like these cards has been "convercted,infected" or something like that i can call "D.E.L.T.A" or "Delta" in this case...

 

If you want to have some different images you can use for cards that aren't originally cards, you can go to a section of tihs forum called "Showcase". In there, you can find some image archives and interesting stuff.

You can pretty much get them from anywhere. I personally don't do cards often because I like to draw most of the pics and it takes time. Some recomend a site called DeviantART to get images. Its like a gold mine lol.

 

Good luck.

I think I messed up writing "Delta" instead of "D.E.L.T.A." somewhere in the correction I wrote ^-^" sorry about that.

 

As for the cards.

Its not very wise to make cards that counter specific cards only. In real life, there was an anti for Dark Hole, Raigeki, Monster Reborn and Harpie's Feather Duster, but they were just used for fun because it was epic to actually use them xD

If you think about it, Mirror Force is limited to 1 per Deck. Meaning you have only 1 chance per Duel (pretty much) of using your card IF your opponent actually has the card, IF they even draw it during the Duel, IF you draw this card in time and not 5 or 6 turns after Mirror Force has already been used. Its pretty easy to miss the chance and make this card pretty much useless in your Deck. Not to mention its specific for your Archtype.

Putting all that aside, lets say you get to do it, this is next.

Your card is actually underpowered. For a card to be standard use, you must picture other people wanting to use it if it was real. Cards that stop Mirror Force are a lot. The list includes:

-All cards that destroy it while its face-down without having to attack (Mystical Space Typhoon, Heavy Storm, Breaker the Magical Warrior, Fortune Lady Windy, the Frost Monarch, Dust Tornado, Kuraz, Kaius, Raiza, Dark Armed Dragon, Judgment Dragon, Chaos Emperor Dragon, Snipe Hunter)

^All those and much more will make you loose 1 card at most for destroying 1 card.

-All cards that prevent it from activating (Jinzo, Trap Stun, Cold Wave, Mirage Dragon, Pitch-Black Warwolf, Royal Decree, lots of Ancient Gears)

-All cards that protect monsters or protect themselves at least (Stardust Dragon and most of its forms, Prime Material Dragon, Hardened Armed Dragon, My body as a Shield)

-All Counter Traps that can negate it (Solemn Judgment, Trap Jammer, 7 Tools of the Bandit, Dark Bribe)

 

The discarding 2 cards is too much of a cost compared with all the above, and the 2 cards are specific (your archtype). Its nice that it can't get responded to, but other anti cards usually revert the effect for free. Its hard enough to get to use it. Your card just negates its activation and destroys it. It only works with Mirror Force, and it has a 2 card cost.

I'd say for a Mirror Force counter, it should be free and make your opponent's Attack Position monsters get destroyed instead of yours, at the very least.

 

 

For a bigger suggestion, it would be better to make some anti-destroying effect in general instead of a Mirror Force only.

 

I'll come and talk about the others later. Sorry if the post sounded a bit negative ^-^" just my thoughts.

[Pyroflame154]

A card should be made to counter Mirror Force like Night Black Mirror Barrier. Mirror Force gets annoying when you are about to win.