Bahamut - Envoy of the End Posted October 20, 2011 Author Report Share Posted October 20, 2011 I haven't even read the entire story yet, yet something motivated me to read Hikari - Lonliness. I think it wraps up Hikari's story nicely. Though I still need to read to the point where she gets BRD. Now to find where I am so that I can get back to reading so that I can eventually finish this story. You should send this to some website devoted to fanfics and have it as a whole, instead of in seperate posts like this. What I have read of the story is just awesome. Realy. Faith in deck... blah blah blah... everyone in fiction gets lucky and gets the right card. Unless they don't. Ok, I'll stop rambeling nonsense now. To the reading! Awesome I'm still getting new readers at this stage. Think you've unfortunately might have spoilered yourself out of some good stuff reading Hikari's end chapter now without full knowledge of her journey, but hey you're the reader, so glad you enjoyed it and I hope it doesn't stuff up your reading the story proper. I'm guessing you're about halfway through arc 2 right now. I'll warn you now the end of arc 2/start of arc 3 is kinda dodgy and regarded as some of the stories weaker moments but patience will be rewarded. Heart of the Cards = Exciting Comebacks Enjoy the rest of the story. Meanwhile, I am still writing Sabin's end story. It's a fair bit longer than Juruo and Hikaris and will have to be a two parter. I probably won't get much done tomorrow because I physically MUST sleep, then I have my last shift before 9 nights off so should get it all done and posted over the weekend. Then its nine days of reading other fics, watching 5D's, and Football Manager (I may occasionally leave my flat too :P) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Not-so-Radiant Arin Posted October 20, 2011 Report Share Posted October 20, 2011 I loved the symbolism with the dog. It's allusions like that that can really make or break a story. I don't know why you named it Loneliness. Despite all of the physical trials that she had suffered throughout the entire story, she wasn't really alone. She had people to help her out and help her get back on their feet. And if that isn't friendship....I don't know what is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aviv: D's Knight Posted October 20, 2011 Report Share Posted October 20, 2011 EPIC, I HAVE SEEN IT. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bahamut - Envoy of the End Posted October 20, 2011 Author Report Share Posted October 20, 2011 I loved the symbolism with the dog. It's allusions like that that can really make or break a story. I don't know why you named it Loneliness. Despite all of the physical trials that she had suffered throughout the entire story, she wasn't really alone. She had people to help her out and help her get back on their feet. And if that isn't friendship....I don't know what is. When the dog first appeared, I didn't think about it being that significant until I got to the end. But when I got there it just felt... sort of right. Plus the hint that it may well have been or may not have been Igaku's dog all along...? She felt isolated due to the inability to touch people, and that it was making her miss out a lot despite having people there for her. Think of Rogue in the X-Men films and how desperate she is to get rid of her 'gift' when she couldn't be with Iceman. She came round to your way of thinking in the end, which helped cure her if you believe Igaku. EPIC, I HAVE SEEN IT. Glad you liked it, although unsure if the seen it has more significance comment than I can read into. By the way gents (and ladies?) any comment on the actual card games? They improved with the up in pace and the change to actual rules? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aviv: D's Knight Posted October 20, 2011 Report Share Posted October 20, 2011 I do like it, it's just, I'm in middle shcool, and I shouldn't even be using this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fusion X. Denver Posted October 20, 2011 Report Share Posted October 20, 2011 You're right, that was a weird duel...Kinda too convenient that Hikari managed to find a healing method NOW rather than the 7 years in between, but it was still a good story. Her peeving the bar off and getting a dog were my highlights and the duel was actually easier for me to keep track of (I always get lost reading Fabled and Lightsworn duels) this time, so good work there.I'm happy for her and can't wait for Sabin's wrap-up. After his, is that all the aftermaths or was there one more? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vector Nightmare Posted October 20, 2011 Report Share Posted October 20, 2011 I read the two chapters, and I must say you've done some excellent work in them. You're still improving as a writer even now, which is a good thing - even though I'd like you to try and not overdo it with descriptions, such as the beginning of Hikari's chapter. I know that it feels compelling to paint colorful, vivid scenes, but I caught myself reading through and being like... 'ok, so has the plot started yet?' There's a middle point in everything. Also, when describing things, you tend to use allegories a whole lot more than aesthetically appropriate. That's all for the technical complaints. Only thing I want to note is that, when Juruo and Dominik were arguing, and Juruo ran off on his D-Wheel, it would've made much more sense to have him just try to get away from the arena, and then Dominik come and force the duel on him. At least, in my opinion, that would have been a preferable option. Also, I wanted Dominik to win, although the way you ended it was also quite nice. Moving on to Hikari's duel, it was also pretty great, and unexpected. The only thing that irked me was the conclusion. She's finally healed of her year-old scars, and the glorious event you give us to celebrate that finale is her hugging a dog? The absence of some tear-jerking embrace with Juruo made me scratch my head in wonder. But also, I liked the concept that she had to travel alone to find a solution for her problems, because otherwise she wouldn't be able to acknowledge the real source of those issues. There was a certain lack of symbolism with her using Destruct Potion to blow up Black Rose, but there's only so much you can do. As you might've guessed, nail-biting anticipation for Sabin's chapter. Also, gonna finally update Dead Zone later today >.> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bahamut - Envoy of the End Posted October 21, 2011 Author Report Share Posted October 21, 2011 You're right, that was a weird duel...Kinda too convenient that Hikari managed to find a healing method NOW rather than the 7 years in between, but it was still a good story. Her peeving the bar off and getting a dog were my highlights and the duel was actually easier for me to keep track of (I always get lost reading Fabled and Lightsworn duels) this time, so good work there.I'm happy for her and can't wait for Sabin's wrap-up. After his, is that all the aftermaths or was there one more? Convenient that in happened somewhere in a 3-6 month period between Juruo and Sabin's chapters you mean? It was also undetermined how long it took Yuma to find Igaku, but presumably not that long. There is no real need for them to all be as bunched up other than build up for WDC, and wanting Hikari's to be the second. Good to know the duels are getting better. Start to think a balanced mix of staples and situational non-meta cards is the way to go for next fic, rather than either extreme. Sabin's chapter will be the last chapter. Ever. Period. I read the two chapters, and I must say you've done some excellent work in them. You're still improving as a writer even now, which is a good thing - even though I'd like you to try and not overdo it with descriptions, such as the beginning of Hikari's chapter. I know that it feels compelling to paint colorful, vivid scenes, but I caught myself reading through and being like... 'ok, so has the plot started yet?' There's a middle point in everything. Also, when describing things, you tend to use allegories a whole lot more than aesthetically appropriate. That's all for the technical complaints. Only thing I want to note is that, when Juruo and Dominik were arguing, and Juruo ran off on his D-Wheel, it would've made much more sense to have him just try to get away from the arena, and then Dominik come and force the duel on him. At least, in my opinion, that would have been a preferable option. Also, I wanted Dominik to win, although the way you ended it was also quite nice. Moving on to Hikari's duel, it was also pretty great, and unexpected. The only thing that irked me was the conclusion. She's finally healed of her year-old scars, and the glorious event you give us to celebrate that finale is her hugging a dog? The absence of some tear-jerking embrace with Juruo made me scratch my head in wonder. But also, I liked the concept that she had to travel alone to find a solution for her problems, because otherwise she wouldn't be able to acknowledge the real source of those issues. There was a certain lack of symbolism with her using Destruct Potion to blow up Black Rose, but there's only so much you can do. As you might've guessed, nail-biting anticipation for Sabin's chapter. Also, gonna finally update Dead Zone later today >.> Well that answered my earlier question about whether the longer build up was better or not. Thanks. Will try to keep getting better. But Juruo wanted to be beaten and punished, or that was what I tried for. Duelling through city streets would have been, well, cool but done. As for Dom winning, as much as I like Dom I couldn't have him go over Juruo, or more to the point SSD. Would have been nice, but Juruo's half away across the world. Can see the gripe with D.Potion, tried to have blowing up Trageodia compensate a bit. Glad duels are getting better in the opinions of you guys. I'm about just over halfway through Sabin's chapter, it's a bit longer than these two. Got my whole day planned out doing other stuff I have to do until about 6-7 this evening before I can sit down and continue, and as you can imagine I want to get it absolutely right (Umbra is helping... sporadically *rolls eyes* ah well he's a busy guy). I will reveal Sabin's chapter is providing opportunities to play with thoughts and situations not accessible to your usual YGO protagonist, and that his opponent(s?) are going to be... interesting... Bout time. :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bahamut - Envoy of the End Posted October 21, 2011 Author Report Share Posted October 21, 2011 Right, here we go. I'm still not finished writing this, but I've been working on this for most of today and now I just want to post something because I'm so frigging pumped about it, even though progress hasn't been swift. I know I've got endless time to do this in but I really want to post it, and you really want to read it from what I gather, so... here we go. No more teasers or anything. The Beginning of the End... [spoiler=Sabin - Purpose]“Ladies and gentleman. Boys and girls of all ages. We welcome you all here at the Sen’nenki no Toride Stadium, and the millions of television viewers tuning in across the Empire, back to finals day here at the First Annual World Duel Championship!!” Sixty thousand voices roared over the announcer, their voices echoing around the cauldron like arena before escaping out into the open sky to be carried by the wind across the capital city. This was the day, this was the moment that so many of them had waited for. Had dreamed off. The biggest duelling event since the re-legalisation of duel monsters seven years ago, after all those years of turmoil and suffering, and those ten days of hell on earth. Since then the Empire had come so far, dragged by its new regime from those dark days onto a bright new path, and this tournament between the strongest duelists in the world was a testament to that progress. And now... it was finals day. Now they were down to the last four. The very best four individuals who had fought long and hard through the qualifiers on both the arena battle fields and the duel circuit encasing them. The first semi-final was already in full swing. The crowd roared once more, a sea of banners and flags of every colour, as one of the duelists – a lanky young man dressed in a strange jacket tailored together with many dark feathers and a matching headdress covering his long black hair, raised his hand above his head, holding it there for a moment as he felt the crowd hold its breath as one, before bringing his arm down to point from the three winged creatures hovering above him to his opponent who was standing across the field from him, unprotected and with only six hundred life points left. “Now Blackwing Armour Master; finish this with a direct attack and send me soaring into the final!” On a mighty beat of wings, one of the bird like warriors above the man’s ahead rose and swooped down, pulling back its talons to inflict that final blow that would see its duelist through to the final, by finishing this opponent who was standing before him with a frustrated scowl on his face, his silver hair fraught and splattered over his sweaty face from the intensity of the fight. He was slightly older than the Blackwing user, but stockier in build and with tanned skin on his arms that were covered in tattoos. And he couldn’t quite believe how he had let himself get into this situation against this loser. “I activate the trap card No Entry!!” Sabin cried, and the crowd screamed in mixed delight and anguish (depending on who they were supporting) as the trap revealed itself. “When this card is activated, all your monsters are changed to defence mode.” The winged beast was repelled and returned to the other side of the field to the fury of the opponent, crossing its arms and furling its wings to indicate the change of battle position (DEF: 1500), as had its compatriots either side of it. “Bah, whatever. So you got one more turn out of it. There’s not much else you can do when you only have one more face down left and no monsters. You’re about to crash land my friend. Turn end.” Sabin sighed deliberately and shook his head. “Oh please, enough with the bad duelist puns. It just makes it more embarrassing when you lose.” The duelist choked in surprise, stunned at his opponents confident demeanour as Sabin drew his card, so casually it was unnerving. “I don’t know. Duelists today are all show and no go” he commented, before pushing his hair back into its slick place. He had been confident in what his top card had been, enough to put his entire faith and his future in this tournament on it, and it had come through for him. “I activate the fusion spell Miracle Synchro Fusion! By removing the Synchro monster Red Dragon Archfiend along with Attack Gainer from my graveyard, I can summon the all powerful Dragon Knight Draco-Equiste!” He grinned at the gasps of awe, the screams of terror, and the wild cries of his fans beginning to believe his comeback was on as from nowhere came a mighty knight with the wings and tail of a dragon, resting a giant lance on the shoulder of his electric blue armour (ATK: 3200). His opponent took a very noticeable step back, but there would be no escape. “Next I activate that one face down; Escape from the Dark Dimension! Red Dragon Archfiend, return to my side and set this duel ablaze with your might!” Sabin’s mightiest creature, the enormous Red Dragon Archfiend, soared through the black portal above him, spitting flames and bellowing furiously as it charged without hesitation at Sabin’s designated target; Armour Master (DEF: 1500). The wretched creature might not be destroyed by battle, but that didn’t matter against his guardian. “Now when Red Dragon Archfiend has finished battle with one of your defence position monsters, he takes all of them out in one blow. Leaving the skies free for Draco-Equiste to swoop in and finish this.” The duelist looked up to see each of his winged comrades engulfed in the flames of Red Dragon Archfiends rage with a sinking feeling of despair, before the dragon knight soared into view towards him, swinging his lance like a sword. The illusion of the blade passed through the duelist; unharmed, but enough to make him faint on the spot. As his life points bar hit zero, the stadium erupted into new levels of delirium as the announcer fought to make himself heard. “That was incredible. Ladies and gentleman, your winner; and the first duelist to qualify for the grand final. He is the scourge of light monsters and master of machines; the once outlaw done good who you’ve all come to idolise. Sabin!” ... “Daddy! Daddy!” The doors to the duelist lounge had barely slid open for Sabin to saunter in when Melody, his daughter, jumped from the plush sofa she had been impatiently sat on twiddling with her long hair or the buttons on her cute summer dress, and hurtled towards him with a beaming smile on her face. Sabin scooped her up mid-run in a spinning motion, much to her delight as she was effortlessly whirled around, before coming to rest in his chest so she could hug him around the neck and nuzzle her head against his with a giggle. Carrying her towards the sofas, the four others waiting for him stood to congratulate him. First Yuma, dressed in her more familiar dark attire, kissed him briefly, before his old friends Juruo, Hikari and Melanc all shook his free hand. They had watched the duel from an area of the stadium reserved for duelists and their families in the main stand above them, and had made their way down to the private lounge whilst he was being interviewed. This large room had been packed earlier in the tournament, but now it was just for those who remained with plenty of refreshments and relaxing features to unwind between matches. In the corner near the doorway, the only other two people in this room where sat across a table from each other in silence. It was not unusual for some of the competitors here to have an entourage, usually mechanics for their runners. Both of them were dressed in matching tight scarlet and silver riding suits and helmets that masked most of their faces; one had their back to the group, whilst the other watched the party with their head rested on their gloved fists in silence. “You made hard to work of that didn’t you mate?” Mel asked cheekily. “If you hadn’t drawn Miracle Synchro just then, you’d have had it.” “Be quiet.” Melody had turned to stare hard at Mel, pouting at the idea that her father was ever in the position where he might have lost. “Daddy is the best. No-one can beat him. So there.” Sabin grinned and rubbed noses with the little girl. “Yeah, that’s right. No silly man in a bird costume can beat your super daddy.” Melody yayed enthusiastically in agreement, before Sabin set her down and she ran off across the lounge and turned to face Juruo. “Well I think she’s thrown down a challenge to you.” Juruo couldn’t help himself but smile as he activated his duel shield. His semi-final was up next, with the final taking place at nightfall. “Well you know I’ll go all out to take that challenge. You just watch my duel and see what you’re going to be up against.” “Daddy, can you play with me now?” Melody had returned with a large doll, and was tugging at Sabin’s jeans, trying to pull him towards a small dollhouse that they had been able to bring here to keep her occupied. Sabin nodded and took the girls hand. “Sorry mate, but duty calls. I’m sure you’ll be able to cope without me.” Juruo nodded, before passing him and making his way out of the lounge. Hikari gave Sabin one last congratulatory hug, then took Juruo’s hand as he went with Mel following after them. A few moments later and the two suited duelists rose to leave for the arena too. As Sabin looked up from Melody for a second, he caught sight of the one who had been watching them, who threw him a nasty smirk, one of contempt. An odd shiver ran through him as he looked at that person. The moment passed, and they tapped their partner on the shoulder and left, prompting them to follow and leave the family alone. ... Sabin didn’t look the type for it, but playing with Melody was always the highlight of his day. Currently he had her on his shoulders and was galloping around the lounge pretending to be a horse like duel monster, much to her delight, whilst Yuma watched them from the sofa and shared in their laughter. Melody’s energy and exuberance demanded a lot of their attention, enough to have exhausted her for now. So now would be a good time to check up on the match. It would probably be finished by now. Aimlessly, Yuma flicked on the TV on the wall. There was a pause as the screen flashed up with a live feed to the duel field... and all of the colour drained from Yuma’s face. “Sa...Sabin... you need to see this...” “Huh?” Confused, Sabin turned around to see Yuma staring up at the TV screen that he couldn’t see at his angle. She was staring wide eyed at it, frozen in place and panting erratically. He set Melody down, told her to wait there for a moment as she gave him a puzzled look, before walking as fast as he dared to his partner’s side and turning to the screen. The image turned his blood cold. Juruo was lying flat on his back; spread eagled and completely still except for the odd involuntary twitch (LP: 0). His face was screwed up in complete agony, his eyes shut and his teeth gritted to hold back the screams of pain bursting to come out. His clothes were torn to shreds and smouldering slightly, and the limbs exposed were scarred and bloody. His face was completely covered in blood... Gobsmacked, Sabin felt Yuma’s hand tighten around his as the screen panned to his opponent, one of the masked duelists. They were standing with their arms folded and looking down at Juruo’s body with a smug look. Whatever monsters they had used had already disappeared, and the crowd was silent and still. There was a choking noise, and the announcer eventually managed to find his strangled voice. ‘Oh my god, this is horrible! This mysterious duelist from the team ‘Future Sight’, who only came in as a late substitute for their usual duelist, has completely decimated Juruo and left him in a severe medical condition. Even after he summoned Shooting Star Dragon... he could not overpower those monsters... those things...’ “No way!” Yuma jumped at Sabin’s sudden outburst, as the announcer’s voice failed again. “He had Shooting Star out and still got destroyed like that? That’s not... how?” “I don’t know. But we can’t keep this on, Melody is coming over. Switch it off before she sees it.” Sabin did so just in time, the screen that had gone back to Juruo and the medics racing to him as Melody got to them. She had sensed her parents fear, and looked very pale. Yuma picked up and held her, trying to reassure her as she asked what was worrying her, whilst Sabin bolted for the doors. ... When Sabin burst into the medical bay, Hikari and Melanc were already there. Sitting together on the bench, Hikari was doing the one thing that he had never, ever seen her do; crying uncontrollably into Mel’s shoulder. The teenager was blank as a ghost, numbly holding Hikari tight whilst staring at the doors into the room where Juruo was being treated. Sabin approached the doors first, cautiously pressing his ear against it and listening, hearing the frantic movements inside and voices anxiously calling to each other. With a sense of dread he pushed it open just slightly enough to peek through. The doctor and three nurses attending to Juruo were all too busy to notice him watching them; racing around cleaning and stitching the wounds on his arms and chest and bandaging them up, checking the monitors he was wired to, and giving him blood transfusions. Juruo was breathing slowly into an oxygen mask, and he could tell he had been heavily anesthetised to numb the pain. Gulping he closed the door, and slowly sank beside the others. He couldn’t speak, but Mel could tell what he was thinking. “I don’t understand... he had Shooting Star. He kept attacking and attacking, but those monsters still wouldn’t go down. They just kept coming. They overwhelmed him... Shooting Star couldn’t protect him from all of them. But the damage they did... how could they do that to him...?” Mel stopped as his recollection of events out in the stadium prompted an increased level in Hikari’s howling. Sabin nodded mutely, before standing and turning to the door. “Hey. Hey hey hey! You’re not seriously going out there are you!?” “You think I’ll lose too?” Sabin didn’t look at Mel or Hikari, simply stood there with his back to them. His fists were shaking. “I didn’t see what happened, but whatever they did, I won’t let them get away with hurting my friends. Pass that on when he wakes up.” Hikari choked on her tears as she looked up at him, Mel sat there in stunned fright, as Sabin armed his duel shield and pushed through the doors. ... Heading back to the duelist lounge, it was going to be a long hour or two wait before the final. How Sabin was going to spend it, he had no idea. Wandering aimlessly through the back corridors filled with tournament officials, tech guys, the press, he ignored them all as he concentrated on his own thoughts. ‘Maybe I shouldn’t duel. I mean, what if I did lose and I end up in the same condition as Juruo? I’ve got my own pride and my mate to stand up for, but I’ve also got Yuma and Melody’s welfare to think about now. How it’s going to affect them if I end up in hospital on breathing apparatus and stuff? Yuma doesn’t work except for some voluntary hours whilst Melody’s at play-school. Ah hell! Winning this championship would be the dream of a lifetime for me, but there’s so much for me to risk. Far too much...’ So consumed in his thoughts, he barely noticed the people stood in the corridor ahead of him until he’d walked into the back of one of them. Blinking out of his stupor, he looked up to apologise to the suit he had bumped into, and recoiled to see a familiar face turn to him. Dominik scowled at him irritably, before turning back to the other three people. Another man, a techie, was busy with some kind of hand-held card scanning device, frantically passing a range of cards through it and frowning. Past them, and leaning with their backs to the wall and looking most relaxed, were the two members of Future Sight. Sabin watched the techie pass the last card through the machine, shook his head, and turn to Dominik. “Sorry boss, but there is nothing irregular about these cards at all. I’ve never seen them before, but the tests show they are just standard duel monster cards.” Dominik swore in reply. “Told you.” A silky smooth voice of a confident female, one of the masked team members snatched the collection of cards from the techie before Sabin could get a look. With so many duelists involved he had paid no special attention to any of them unless they were his next opponent, but now he did it should have been obvious they were a boy girl combination. She was a bit taller and slimmer in both face and body than her associate, although the tight suit enhanced her figure. The helmet only revealed her nose, mouth and chin, all quite petite and sharply striking. Her partner stood in silence with his arms folded, staring straight past Dominik at the new arrival with a blank unsmiling look. His partner was doing all the smiling as she turned to Dominik. “I assure you that I have no idea why the damage he took was so real. Maybe you should check your own stadium equipment before accusing others with no proof.” “Bah, like hell you do” Dom snorted before rounding on the techie. “There was no need for you to have to duel for your duelist, and I’m telling you there is something suss about those cards.” The techie started gibbering in panic that he couldn’t prove that there was in any way, fearing he might get the bullet for failing to find any problem. Frustrated, Dominik turned from the twosome to Sabin and back, and shook his head. “Whatever, this tournament is over.” “How am I supposed to account for my duelist getting food poisoning from your canteen?” the girl shrugged innocently. “I used his deck in his place, what’s the problem? As for this tournament; how exactly do you think you’re going to explain cancelling now to everyone watching?” She was making no attempt to hide the glee in Dominik’s predicament seeing as nothing could be held against her. “After all the build-up and excitement for this tournament, after all the significance put on the hope and pride you promoted and that those people feel, you’re just going to tell them you’re calling it off after one little... accident?” Slowly she turned to Sabin, her smile broadening slightly. “How is Juruo by the way?” “He’ll live” he replied icily. “You won’t.” The girl chuckled quietly to herself at his reaction. “My, aren’t you confident. Obviously you weren’t paying much attention while I was out there destroying your friend; much like my protégée Bane here is going to destroy you in the final now he’s feeling a bit better.” Sabin vaguely felt his knuckles clench as she stepped towards him and put her face up against his. Her visor shielded her eyes, but he could guess well enough there would be sick pleasure in them, as she lowered her voice to a whisper. “You are all that stands between me and my destiny. When we win, everyone will be touched by my power, and everything will change for this city. Maybe you should do what’s best for that lovely wife of yours, and get out while you can? She’d be so upset to see anything... unfortunate... happen to you out there. But then... what if something unfortunate was to happen to her... because you couldn’t protect her...” The girl paused and gasped as a thought seemed to strike her suddenly. “Or your pretty little girl...” Sabin lost it. Rational thought abandoned, he threw his fist at the girl’s helmet, but never came close to meeting his target. Her partner seemed to have been expecting such a move, and before Sabin could connect he found himself blindly shoulder tackled into the wall by the masked enforcer. Incensed more than he had ever been in his life, Sabin planted his fist into the top of the man’s helmet, achieving nothing more than bruising his own knuckles. It took a full minute, and several more swings at the guy restraining him before Dominik, the techie, and several passing securities managed to pull them apart. The masked boy withdrew with his hands up as soon as Sabin was restrained, whilst his partner just laughed at them all. “How touchy you are. Do your family know about these anger issues you have? I can just imagine the look on your little girls face if you were arrested for...” The sentence was not completed. Sabin might have been held back by Dominik and two securities, but that wasn’t going to stop him from one last attack, and spat straight in her face. The shot splattering across the lower half of her helmet, and some of her exposed cheek. In thunderous silence she slowly wiped the spit off her face, matching Sabin’s furious glower. “I’m going to enjoy watching your pain as Bane dissects you... Bit... by... bit...” she said, before turning to her still silent partner. “We need to prepare you. Let’s go.” With that she turned on her heel and strode off. The boy waited a moment, taking one last look at Sabin and the officials, giving them the same strange blank look, before he followed after her. Two securities followed them to make sure there would not be further trouble, and only when they were out of sight was Sabin released. Numb with anger, he turned to Dominik, whose authority would have the final say. He looked stressed, perhaps even a little frightened, as he struggled to decide on what he should do. He made his final decision with a resigned sigh. “She’s right; it is too late to call this off. Just make my life easy for me Sab. Wipe the floor with them.” ... The autumn night fell over the city. Thousands of spotlights around the roof shone down and illuminated the stadium for the crowd. The thousands were buzzing in a foreboding way, a feeling of trepidation still hung over them after the last semi-final. In the area in the middle of the starting straight reserved for tournament officials and duelists family, Dominik, Melanc, Yuma and Melody were all sat together, the little girl in her mother’s lap and tightly squeezing her hand. Try as they all had, getting her to not watch daddy perform had been an impossible task. She had worked out that something bad had happened to Juruo, and had cried a lot having jumped to the worst ideas and then had to be calmed down, but she was adamant her presence was critical to support daddy. Yuma kept her tight in her arms, kissing her on the forehead to soothe them both. Meanwhile Hikari had stayed below. The doctors had finished and Juruo was stable now, enough to permit her being at his side. He was still barely conscious and heavily drugged, hardly able to acknowledge her presence as she sat beside him and took his hand. A small TV had been bought to his bedside so she could stay with him, yet still watch her old friend fight for them and support him. Silence fell over the crowd as the lights went out, and the announcer’s voice echoed over the tannoy. “Ladies and gentleman, this is the moment you’ve been waiting for, the World Duel Championship Grand Final!” The roar was mutedly unenthusiastic. “And what a final match we have in store between these two duelists. Both sides have agreed that this match will be fought on the track in a turbo duel, and the stakes will be as high as the speed. I’m sure this match will go down in history. Introducing first, a resident of our own fair capital city, the first qualifying finalist. He is the silver haired maverick, the tough scrapper who you’ve all come to love. Sabinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn... Kreigerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!” Rows of silver fireworks exploding either side of the track heralded the entrance of Sabin as he shot out of the stadium garage. His racing runner had been designed exclusively for him, based on his Red Dragon Archfiend. Done in its colour scheme, the dragon’s jaws were incorporated into the front guard of the thick wheels, a massive rear spoiler representing a fanned wing for nimble movement, and the engine roared with all the fury of an enraged beast. Sabin did a lap to the starting position, not acknowledging the crowd that was screaming and cheering for him until he got to the grid, stopping and looking up to try and pick out his party in the darkness. He knew he wouldn’t be able to until the lights went up, but he waved in the vague direction anyway before readying himself. “And his opponent, Sabin will be taking on one half of the team entered as ‘Team Future Sight’. Their duelist has been extremely aggressive all the way through the tournament, and even when he went down for the semi his partner was even more destructive with that vicious assault leaving young Juruo Daisuke in hospital. Does the same fate await Sabin? Well we’re about to find out as here they come. He is the silent rage, the apostle of mayhem known as Baaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnne!” Team Future Sight’s entrance had no pyrotechnics and other dramatics. Rolling smoothly out on their shared runner, a quad bike that was a bulky, compact machine; shorter in length but taller and wider than Sabin’s runner; and of matching colour scheme to their suits. It growled impressively, aided by the crowds near silence, as Bane drove straight to the starting grid on the outside of Sabin. His partner was pressed against his back quite intimately as he pulled up, caressing his shoulders before dismounting from the back and strutting across Sabin as she made for the pit garages where she would observe the duel (throwing him a wicked grin as she passed, and being met with a furious grimace made her even happier). As she climbed the wall and into her position, Sabin could finally concentrate on his opponent. He had watched the exchange between them, still in complete silence. It was difficult to decipher anything from him when only a little of his face was exposed, but he didn’t seem to share in her sick pleasure. Sabin revved his engine to calm himself more than anything. “Alright Silent Bob, it’s just you and me now your mistress has let you off the chain. I don’t expect you to tell me what you’re planning, but you worked together to hurt my friends and you threatened my family. Now I’m going to make you pay for it.” The masked rider looked at him for a moment. “You are truly clueless... You have no idea of the nightmare you’re about to enter...” Sabin sat in stunned silence as the voice of the duelist Bane echoed in his mind. The man’s voice had quivered with fear as he said those words, but something was very wrong, and very very familiar. “You? I know you!” He couldn’t think why as the duelist looked away, but he knew he was right. He had no idea why, but his breathing had quickened, as had his heartbeat as he fought to fight through his rapidly increasing fear for the connection. “Why do I know you? Talk to me damn it! What the hell is going on?” Without warning the crowd roared, and with a mighty bellow the quad bike flew off the line. While Sabin had been distracted, the lights had gone green, and the race had begun. Shaking himself into action Sabin set off in desperate chase, but Bane had already reached the first corner, and had drawn his opening hand... The final was on. More tomorrow... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Not-so-Radiant Arin Posted October 21, 2011 Report Share Posted October 21, 2011 Damn it, Matt! You and those perfectly timed Cliffhangers...... Some very tense action building up. I would love to see the intense Duel Action that is going to happen. The cards are Temporal Machines. I just know it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vector Nightmare Posted October 21, 2011 Report Share Posted October 21, 2011 Huuuh? Something this big coming up this late? I certainly didn't see that coming. For Juruo and Hikari those chapters were more like closure - their grand adventure was over, and now they just had to face their final, personal demons in order to move on. For Sabin it's more like a new plotline has sprouted out, though it will probably tie off to some earlier events. I don't know how I feel about it. On one hand, it's epic because it's, y'know, Sabin being awesome and all. On the other hand, so far, it doesn't bring the same sense of conclusion that the others did. So in the end it's bound to leave us craving for more >.> ah well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bahamut - Envoy of the End Posted October 21, 2011 Author Report Share Posted October 21, 2011 Damn it, Matt! You and those perfectly timed Cliffhangers...... Some very tense action building up. I would love to see the intense Duel Action that is going to happen. The cards are Temporal Machines. I just know it. Huuuh? Something this big coming up this late? I certainly didn't see that coming. For Juruo and Hikari those chapters were more like closure - their grand adventure was over, and now they just had to face their final, personal demons in order to move on. For Sabin it's more like a new plotline has sprouted out, though it will probably tie off to some earlier events. I don't know how I feel about it. On one hand, it's epic because it's, y'know, Sabin being awesome and all. On the other hand, so far, it doesn't bring the same sense of conclusion that the others did. So in the end it's bound to leave us craving for more >.> ah well. I'm sure you'll both appreciate that I'm limited in what I want to say here. Well actually I want to say everything now and I'm bouncing around my living room trying to contain my energy. As you might have seen in my status' that I posted trying to get advice on length and stuff, this is long... probably going to be longer than the final chapter of the story proper... and in the next section that I've almost finished it is an absolute blitz of bombshells, there were at least four very creditable contenders for the moment I could have ended this part on. Of course I'm going all out to finish on a high, as well as other things. Sabin hasn't really got 'personal demons he needed closure on' like Hikari and Juruo, his life with Yuma and Melody is pretty sweet (and I will say I love this situation that Melody has presented; writing about a guy who is now a husband and father and that impact. Who'd have thought that eight months ago when we first met him?) It's interesting reading the thoughts of you guys and Umbra who volunteered to proof read this much (he isn't any further than you now). Think I'm going to go to bed now, before spending my whole Saturday dedicated to writing the rest of this. I've got a fair bit done, hopefully the big finish will be big and do Sabin the justice he was perhaps screwed out of in the story proper, because thats another motivation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aviv: D's Knight Posted October 22, 2011 Report Share Posted October 22, 2011 nice Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bahamut - Envoy of the End Posted October 22, 2011 Author Report Share Posted October 22, 2011 Appreciate the comments, they were interesting, and they made me happy. Because you're all wrong. No-one's got it. :) Part 2 up in the spoiler below. Boom..... Boom..... Boom..... [spoiler=Sabin - Purpose Part 2]“Duel!” Pushing his runner as hard as he could, Sabin raced around the first bend and onto the back straight, cursing himself for his costly loss of concentration as he honed in on the back of his waiting opponent. He somehow doubted his opponent had intended for that to happen, although the duelist who was competing under this Bane character and whose first words had sounded so disturbingly familiar to him had taken full advantage of his mistake and taken the lead, earning himself the right to the opening move that was so crucial. Sabin’s deck offered him five cards which he placed into the hand slot on his left armguard. The balance of spells and traps was decent if not great, but he was so woefully short of muscle it made losing the first corner even worse. In the blur of the crowd, he knew his family and friends would be watching this duel anxiously, except for the one friend laid in a hospital bed below. Somewhere ahead of him, the scarlet clad rider accepted his sixth card, and the crowd swelled in readiness. “I’ll start by setting one monster in defence mode.” The reverse side of a horizontal card appeared roughly by the quads back left wheel. “Then I’ll place one more card face down. Turn end.” ‘Ah great, I thought he’d do a bit more than that. Now it’s my turn and I still don’t know what I’m up against.’ Sabin’s predicament wasn’t help by drawing a speed spell that he couldn’t use this turn, as his Standby Phase saw both competitors gain their first speed counter (sp 1). ‘Guess there’s only one way for me to find out then, and that’s by diving right in on the attack.’ “I summon the Ally of Justice Garadholg in attack mode.” A familiar ally from all those years ago, the amber plated battle droid emerged to Sabin’s left, laser cannons charged and ready (ATK: 1600). ‘Now let’s see who you are hiding behind this mask’. “Garadholg blast that face down monster away.” The Ally readily obliged, unleashing its barrage of electromagnetic bullets from the palms of its suit. Sabin expected the face down trap to activate at any second, but Bane made no movement to try and stop his attack at all. Undeterred the shots closed in on the hidden monster, and just a second before they landed the reverse card flipped itself over, to reveal what for the seconds glance he got looked like a small ball of flame unfurling into... something or other. There was a panicked shriek, before the flash of the explosion prevented him from seeing anything more. The crowd cheered as the two duelists chased each other around the second corner, and the monster had been successfully destroyed. Sabin had landed the first blow. But as he reached for his deck, Bane didn’t seem to mind at all. “When Flamvell Poun is destroyed in battle and sent to the graveyard, I’m allowed to add any monster with two hundred defence points from my deck to my hand” he declared emotionlessly. “I choose to add Flamvell Firedog.” “Flamvell!?” As they barrelled down the main straight and passed the starting point again, Sabin’s mind went blank. His body wouldn’t respond as he sat stunned in the seat of his runner, letting the gap between them increase as his foot came away from the accelerator without him realising. As they passed the pit lane, he turned his head completely without thinking, just out of some compulsion, and caught sight of the mysterious, malevolent girl leaning against the barrier watching them, grinning wickedly at him. A few detached words echoed around his head, just a few offhand words of casual conversation he had heard a little over seven years ago, at the memorial of the allies he had once lost. ‘I’ve met someone recently... Only had a few dates... Hoping it is going somewhere...’ “You gotta be kidding. Raesir?” The duelist ahead of him turned slightly in his seat, and lifted the visor covering his face. Revealing the blue linear tattoos over the eyes that looked almost dead now, flecks of flattened orange hair sticking out from under the helmet, and a thinned, unsmiling, haunting face of a man looked consigned to a dreadful fate. It was Raesir. Continuing to circuit without paying any attention to the world around them, to the thousands watching them silently stare down, Raesir opened his mouth to speak. It took him three attempts just to manage a few words. “Yeah. Took you long enough.” With his identity confirmed, Sabin had a very surreal feeling. A very strange one where several pieces of a mystery have fallen into place, only to make absolutely no sense and be blown apart again at the same time. Shaking himself out of his stupor Sabin accelerated again, Raesir made to no attempt to maintain his distance as he pulled alongside him. “Raesir? What the heck are you doing here?” There was a pause as Raesir considered his response. “Competing for the World Duel Championship, what else?” “Oh knock that off, you know what I meant. What’s with you and your woman? All her talk of changing this city and the people here, and doing what you did to Juruo and I don’t know how many others. That’s all just so you can win a championship is it?” Raesir bowed his head as a refusal to respond, flaring his temper. “You make no sense being here. You’re not good enough to get so far in this tournament, and you’re certainly not good enough to beat Juruo like that. Even if you chickened out and your mistress fought him for you, she still admitted to using your deck, you’ve got nothing that can touch Juruo.” Raesir responded with a sigh, and looked out to the open track. Whilst they had been talking they had almost completed a second lap in which neither had played anything. Watching the two finalists drive around like they had further unsettled the crowd as they approached the pit garages again. Some troublesome youth booed and shouted for someone to play something. A cold prickle of dread ran down Sabin’s spine as he watched Raesir swallow, before bowing his head and speaking even more shakily than before. “I’m sorry. You should have walked away when you had the chance. Now I have no choice... except to destroy you...” The sudden roar of a wounded, enraged beast made him jump out of seat as Raesir revved his machine’s engine, unleashing its full power and shooting forward. “Now end your turn, and prepare to enter a nightmare with no escape!” Unnerved, but undeterred, Sabin accelerated after him whilst snatching the two traps from his arm guard. “Not before I place two cards face down. Now let’s see what you’ve got.” [spoiler=Summary - Round 1]Raesir (sp1): Front Row: - Back Row: Face Down. Hand: 5 LP: 4000Sabin (sp1): Front Row: Garadholg Back Row: Face Down x2 Hand: 3 LP: 4000 In the crowd Yuma, Melody and the others watched on as Sabin ended his turn as they took the bend, and Raesir (having jumped to the same conclusion as Sabin had on the basis of his deck) drew his next card. Although not especially religious, Yuma couldn’t help but cross herself. “Come on Daddy” Melody shouted; certain that Sabin would hear her over everyone else. “Prepare yourself. I summon Flamvell Firedog; in attack mode.” A large bloodhound born from molten magma ran beside the duelist as he heaved and recklessly span the quad round to face Sabin, dangerously swerving left and right and losing enough speed for Sabin to reclose the gap. He could tell he was ready for something; the way his body was tensing and heaving with erratic volatile breathing and his eyes boring into him in wide-eyed panic; he was psyching himself up for something. Something big. The same something that had put Juruo in a critical condition. ‘I can do it now. I’m in position to do what she told me and unleash it, and there’s nothing Sabin can do to stop me. I have to do it for her. I have to... but... it’s Sabin. He and Juruo saved me. He’s got his family in the stands. What she wants me to do will... oh so what, it’s what she wants and I believe in her. I said I would do anything for her that she asked of me... I can’t go back on that...’ Sabin continued to watch as Raesir fought with himself, the waiting and the silence was killing him. Half a lap and Raesir was clearly distressed, on the verge of losing his mind as his quad swayed even more erratically. ‘No, we went through this; I have to..... I’ve committed myself to her and its too late for me to go back now. I have to do it.... but everything she said seems so wrong... especially after what happened to Juruo, all that power used to hurt people...... I don’t know what to do....’ They were on the home straight again, and as they passed the pits Raesir looked across in desperation for his partner. She was still leaning there, frowning at him. Raesir sighed as he made his decision, and took another card from his hand. ‘Forgive me... I can’t go through with this...’ “Now since there are fewer than three monsters in your graveyard, I can special summon the tuner monster Neo Flamvell Origin from my hand. I then tune Origin with Firedog to Synchro Summon. Born from the crushing forces of the fiery earth, rise Flamvell Uruquizas.” Sabin blinked as the fiery demon appeared from the flash of light. “Now attack Garadholg.” “I activate the trap card Power Frame. This negates your attack, then it equips to...” “I activate Flamvell Counter” Raesir interrupted Sabin to his dismay. “By removing Poun from my graveyard, your trap is negated and destroyed.” Subconsciously Sabin slowed to avoid the explosion as Garadholg was smashed by the flaming fist of Uruquizas, but nothing untoward seemed to happen. He felt a small electric jolt in his arm as his life points dropped a little, the same as he had all tournament before (LP: 3500). “I activate my second face down, Damage Condenser. By discarding one card from my hand, I can summon any monster from my deck whose attack points are less than or equal to the damage I took. I summon Genex Ally Chemistrer.” A small bot armed with guns attached to two canisters of liquid appeared before him (ATK: 200). “When it destroys a monster, Uruquizas gains three hundred attack points” Raesir continued, turning his runner back the right way around (ATK: 2400). “I place one card face down and end my turn.” ‘Geez, his behaviour is way off, even for him. Uruquizas isn’t a big deal, but what does worry me is the way he’s swinging from depressed to psycho and back again so fast he’ll break his neck. The way he’s hesitating over his moves, I dunno, it’s like his heart is not really in it. Whatever the case I had better end this as quickly as possible before anything happens.’ Drawing his next card with this plan in mind, the result was as good as he could have hoped for. “I summon Genex Ally Duradark.” The cybernetic warrior soared out beside him, powered by rocket boosters in its arms and legs (ATK: 1800). “Next I activate the speed spell Vision Wind/url], summoning a level two or lower monster from my graveyard. I choose my discarded Tuningware.” Another small machine appeared on the opposite side of the two Genex machines. “Synchro Summon!” “...Red... Dragon Archfiend?” Raesir gulped ahead of him. “Actually, I have something else in mind that can do a bit more damage right now” Sabin said as he reached into his extra deck, his monsters splitting into stars above his head and sending the crowd berserk. “I tune my three monsters to summon the most powerful weapon in the Genex arsenal. Genex Ally Axel, in attack mode.” From the light emerged a silver plated machine of humanoid figure, powering itself along beside Sabin on its wheeled limbs like a speed skater (ATK: 2600) “Now when Tuningware is sent to the graveyard for a Synchro summon, I get to draw one card. Which I’m immediately going to discard to activate Axels’ effect. Once a turn, I can summon any of the level four machine types in my graveyard to the field, and their attack power is doubled until the end phase. Garadholg returns, primed and ready to blast Uruquizas away.” The amber droid appeared and fired (ATK: 3200), destroying the flame demon in a large explosion. Somewhere on the other side of the blast, Raesir groaned in pain (LP: 3200). This was his chance. “Now Axel can attack you directly!” The rockets powering Axel ignited as the warrior shot forwards for the critical attack, rapidly gaining on the unprotected duelist, and almost immediately Raesir moved to activate his face down. Sabin cursed himself for not knowing better, and resigned himself to picking Axel up and sending him to the... CLANG! Sabin jerked his head up in amazement at the reverberating clash of metal smashing into metal, followed by the collective gasps of the crowd and the prevailing yell that out-voiced them all. For some crazy reason Raesir had pulled out of his trap, allowing Axel’s roundhouse kick to smash into the back of his runner and land huge damage, enough for the resultant shock to make him roar in pain and slump over the handlebars of his runner, weaving dangerously (LP: 600). Hanging back to avoid his precarious driving and too astonished to accelerate regardless, it took Sabin a moment to respond. “O...k then. I end my turn, at which point Garadholg is removed from play.” “I...” Raesir began. Head hung, his voice was extremely weak. The quad slowed down, allowing Sabin to close the gap in behind him again. The sound of the engine quietened as the flame wielding duelists erratic driving finally stabilised, though perhaps he was more focused on his cards as he entered his turn than his driving. Or perhaps neither at all... “I...” He was reaching to his deck with a trembling hand. Sabin glanced down at his cards, only Axel - however powerful - was on the field alone and unprotected. But if he could just get through to his next turn he would have enough speed to have the chance to finish this match immediately. If he could hold on for one turn... “I...” Something flashed in the corner of the eye of both duelists, causing them to glance up. A sign on the inside of the track at the start of the corner had flashed up with a message. ‘TFS: Pit.’ Bewildered Sabin looked back at Raesir, and watched as his opponent’s runner continued to slow and drifted towards the inside of the track. Cruising past him on the outside he gasped; Raesir had let go of the controls of his runner, yet it was continuing to steer itself towards the pit lane entry. Raesir looked up at him as he passed by, and for the split second of eye contact Sabin could see one thing; complete and total fear. “I’m so sorry...” Before Sabin could respond he had flown by onto the home straight, whilst the quad pulled into the pits. ... Perched on a garage crew seat, Raesir’s partner continued to operate the small handheld control she was using to steer the runner in. As it stopped in front of her she switched it off before sauntering over to her downcast partner. He was slouched over the front and looking anywhere but at her, not reacting as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and pressing her head against his. She could feel him shivering. “You’ve let me down Raesir” she whispered in his ear as she held him. “I’m sorry Suzero... I couldn’t...” he stuttered desperately. “Ssh... ssh ssh...” she interrupted him gently, stroking his arm to soothe him. “Oh Raesir, after everything we’ve had together, after everything I did for you. After you devoted yourself to me, swore yourself to me, and then we make it here to the finals together.... you let me down.” Her tone turned slightly harder before she paused, Raesir was still faintly mumbling excuses into her chest as she held him. Somewhere at the start of the home straight Sabin was still circulating, searching for his opponent. “I shall have to take my destiny back into my own hands now. As for you my dear...” There was a swift motion as she pulled away, followed by a muffled, retching choke. Raesir ‘s body jerked violently as his senses exploded in shock, his hands shooting to his neck as he tried to scream, only for it to be silenced by a torrent of blood that was spat out instead. The passing Sabin, and sixty thousand spectators watched in horror as the girl grabbed poor Raesir by his far shoulder and in one motion pull him off the runner, letting him fall to the floor in a crumpled, shaking, bloody heap before dropping the small silver knife she had concealed with the position of her hand beside him. She stared down at him in disdain for a moment, before swinging herself up onto the runner and roaring out of the pits without another glance. ... Initial mute shock gave into screams of terror throughout the stadium. Many people cried as they registered what they had just witnessed, others were sick on the spot. Many parents who had bought their families today tried to usher their young children out without looking at what had happened, whilst the young adult bracket were receiving or making calls to the world outside to share their horror. Yuma was sat frozen with one hand covering her mouth and the other wrapped tightly around Melody, who couldn’t work out what was happening and was asking ‘Mommy, why are people crying?’ Beside her Mel was trying to support her despite his own urge to be ill, while Dominik jumped from his seat and grabbed his phone, shouting into it at the technical team. “For god’s sake get medics down there now, and get the operating systems offline. This is ending now.” “I’m trying sir, but we can’t shut it off” came the panicked response. “The computers have locked themselves down. We can’t shut any of the duel simulators off, and we can’t open the gates around the track to get any other vehicles out there...” It barely registered in Dominik’s mind that at that moment he dropped his phone. ... Back on the track, and Sabin was being caught up by the girl he had just seen slash Raesir across the neck. Who had put Juruo in a critical condition. As much as he wanted to fight her earlier for what she’d done to him, seeing someone this determined and dangerous enough to just do that to her own ally now setting her sights on chasing after him genuinely chilled him inside. He was angry too, a part of him screamed at him to avenge his friends. The old him certainly would take her on for this in his rage, regardless of his own safety. But as she got closer and closer through the corner, his eyes suddenly caught sight of his wedding ring, and all his explosive mixture of fear and anger quelled. ‘Calm down. My safety is not mine to throw away anymore. This is out of hand, so just escape her and let trained guards deal with it. For the girls’ sake.’ Shifting up a gear he looked for the exits as the duelist continued to gain on him, but as she got closer she eased off a bit; seemingly deciding on being content just to be chasing after him and keeping their speeds level. Puzzled he continued to look for an exit. His heart sank as he saw people fighting to open the barriers making up the wall of the track, and failing to get in. He was trapped. Trapped with a psycho who had threatened his family, and may possibly have killed two of his friends. Shaking, Sabin shouted back at her “You! What the hell did you do that to Raesir for!? Didn’t he mean anything to you!?” The girl sick grin simply broadened. “Raesir never meant anything to me. He was just a means to get me here and keep myself undercover. But now he’s chickened out and tried to lose this duel, he has outlived his usefulness like no more than a sacrificial pawn in chess. He might survive long enough to see me destroy you, just like I did your friend, for I am the queen and I am about to take the last remaining piece and fulfil my destiny.” “Why do people take this game so far?” Sabin muttered to himself. He could see armed guards swarming around outside the track but still unable to get in. So he had no choice, but maybe that suited him. He still hated the idea of endangering himself with Yuma and Melody watching, and what he had seen had scared and enraged him. But there was also his sense of justice and courage beginning to slowly re-emerge having fled for a moment. He would fight against anyone who threatened people, stop them from hurting anyone else. Gripping the handles tightly, he steadied himself. “Well I might be the last piece left able to stop you and whatever your so called destiny involves, but I’m a pretty destructive one and after what you’ve done I’m going to make sure you’re bought to pay for it.” “Go ahead and try. It makes it much more fun” the duelist cried in response. Reaching to her deck, the one she had put together with Raesir’s cards and her own, she felt something inside her stir. Some ever-present rumbling, constantly there inside her soul for a long time, and now it was almost ready to break out and reveal itself to the world. “When you arrive in hell, know that Suzero Maina sent you! Draw!” [spoiler=Summary - Round 2]Suzero (sp3): Front Row: - Back Row: Face Down. Hand: 3 LP: 600Sabin (sp3): Front Row: Axel Back Row: - Hand: 1 LP: 3500 ‘Wow, Raesir really did hold back from following my instructions’ Suzero thought as she studied the cards already in her hand, before looking at her new one. “One of my favourites. I summon Tour Guide from the Underworld.” A red haired girl in black conductor’s uniform appeared beside her (ATK: 1000). “When Tour Guide is normal summoned, I can then summon a level three fiend type monster straight from my deck. However I can’t use it for a Synchro summon and its own effects are negated.” A familiar three eyed fiend appeared from the resultant gap, indicating her choice was Sangan. “Next, because I have four speed counters, I can activate the speed spell Summon Speeder to bring out a level four monster from my hand. I choose Summoner Monk, and use his effect immediately; discarding one spell card from my hand to summon Flamvell Grunika from my deck.” An old man in robes and a dragon like creature joined the rapidly multiplying forces chasing around the track like a pack of wolves. “Then I activate the trap that Raesir so thoughtfully left for me, Call of the Haunted, to resurrect Flamvell Firedog from my graveyard.” “That’s what that was?” Sabin blurted, glancing over his shoulder at the five monsters suddenly on his tail. “Raesir could have bought Uruquizas back and protected himself with that.” “Like I said, that weakling turned on me and tried to throw the duel” Suzero continued, before switching the duel runner into auto-pilot, and sliding her thin arm into a wrist attachment just below the full duel blade of the runner running parallel to her. The gauntlet clamped around her arm and the whole duel disk lifted away as she let go of the handles on her duel runner, and to the awe of everyone watching stood upright on the seat with the machine following the track itself. As she stood tall, a dark aura surrounded her entire body. She felt the rumbling inside her reach new heights, heard roaring in her ears, sensed her body surge with her suppressed power about to burst forth. Her maniacal voice rang out across the arena. “But at least his last action wasn’t wasted bringing back his pathetic Synchro monster. Now you will witness my true form. Xyz Summon!” The spirits of all five of Suzero’s monsters transformed into lights of red, black, blue and purple; shooting upwards in two interweaving spirals. “I overlay my two level three monsters, and my three level four monsters, to herald in the demise of this city and bring forth my future...." "Unleash!" "The!" "Numbers!” From the epicentre of each summoning came an explosion, each sending a pulse of black energy that rippled around the stadium. For a few seconds, Sabin and the spectators were forced to shield their eyes from the blasts before the world disappeared in a veil of heavy blackness that dulled every sense and consumed everything, a sensation Sabin thought he had felt somewhere once before. Below the main stand in the medical pain, Hikari broke her transfixed gaze from the small TV set as she felt Juruo’s hand tighten around hers. He was tense, almost like he could feel Sabin was in danger despite being out under anaesthetic. The veil lifted in a few moments, and when Sabin looked back to see what had happened, he became vaguely aware that the monsters behind him had changed into something new. They didn’t really register with him straight away. Neither did the increased screaming, or the stampede of people running for the exits to the stadium. He was entirely transfixed instead on the terrifying true form of the opponent cackling maniacally from the runner behind him. Suzero was standing on her auto-piloted duel runner as a completely different being. The scarlet and silver suit had evaporated away leaving her almost entirely naked except for her duel disk, some jet black shorts and narrow band tightly wrapped around her chest around her like film and enhanced her now sickly pale skin. Her helmet had vanished too; freeing several twisted braids of black hair that would reach down to her heels had they not be flying around in the rush of the wind so wildly. Her thin face looked young and like it had once been pretty, but the twisted smile with sharpened teeth and the dead black eyes transformed it into something wicked. But none of these things were the worst feature of her form. The worst thing was that every part of her exposed pale skin, including her face, was covered in bold symbols of numbers scrawled across her. As this alien being chased him around the stadium with her two new monsters either side of her, the image choked his words. “Who...? What the hell are you?” The symbol covered face lowered to look at this small human, the black eyes staring through him, into his soul and chilling it. Her words were harsh and dark. “I am the first of what’s to come. The source of the contagion that is about to be unleashed onto this city, and everyone will be consumed by. All that remains is to defeat the last defender, and prove that my new order is superior to all. Prepare yourself.” I have no idea why the spoilers stop working halfway through that, they just do. Now before you comment... [spoiler=Notes]Matt used Baton Pass. :P Now I imagine someone, mostly likely Saber, is going to cite me for introducing a new villian in the penultimate chapter. But that is half the purpose of this; to get my eye in with Xyz and promote the next fic, which as far as I'm aware will be one of the first on this site to do Xyz/Numbers in a predominant way (well that's the plan). That doesn't mean Sabin is playing second fiddle to Suzero, oh no, this is about him as well. Like I said, his life since Armageddon hasn't had much hassle other than the odd sleepless night and nappy change. It was suggested that Prens Hirzslar could return for this, but that was kinda of a small plot so much so I'd imagine most of you won't remember who he is. So rather than redigging up the past, I wanted to look to the future with this tournament and moving on from this, making this Armageddon's last hurrah before closing the book... er, locking the thread. In case you wondered, Suzero Maina (very) roughly translates from Japanese as 'Number Minus Zero'. And because I am incapable of any original thought, when I created her true form I suddenly reminded myself of a Dr Who villian who had a similar thing going on. So I guess a deep old memory was resonsible for that. For those struggling to picture Suzero, said villian is in the spoiler. Just replace the symbols with random 1234567890.[spoiler=pic]http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?q=doctor+who+the+satan+pit&um=1&hl=en&sa=N&biw=1440&bih=761&tbm=isch&tbnid=HVfaryvRT0CiaM:&imgrefurl=http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b0074fpm&docid=pAyBYrphzLZSuM&imgurl=http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/images/episode/b0074fpm_640_360.jpg&w=640&h=360&ei=YiejTp_LAczusgbSm5TgAg&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=474&vpy=158&dur=2540&hovh=168&hovw=300&tx=198&ty=91&sig=102233289612669916064&page=1&tbnh=83&tbnw=148&start=0&ndsp=28&ved=1t:429,r:2,s:0 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aviv: D's Knight Posted October 22, 2011 Report Share Posted October 22, 2011 EPIC! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fusion X. Denver Posted October 23, 2011 Report Share Posted October 23, 2011 Aha, so your new fic will be taking place in the same universe as Armageddon?This Sabin story's friggin awesome. I didn't expect Juruo to be almost killed like that, neither did I see Bane being Raesir coming.The suspense in the air is palpable and...I don't know what else to say, sorry. OH, the duel itself is going alright. I'm betting it's about to get way more intense.Looking forward to the conclusion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bahamut - Envoy of the End Posted October 23, 2011 Author Report Share Posted October 23, 2011 EPIC! As much as I appreciate the gesture, one word posts are generally frowned upon. Don't get yourself cited by the mods for spam. Aha, so your new fic will be taking place in the same universe as Armageddon?This Sabin story's friggin awesome. I didn't expect Juruo to be almost killed like that, neither did I see Bane being Raesir coming.The suspense in the air is palpable and...I don't know what else to say, sorry.OH, the duel itself is going alright. I'm betting it's about to get way more intense.Looking forward to the conclusion. No, it won't be. The next fic will actually be set in this/our/the real world, roughly 50-60 years or so into the future. II believe this is what's known in the comic industry as a crossover, where guys like Superman and Batman fight together. I am frankly astounded no-one saw that one of the two would be an old character of some kind, even if didn't realise it would be Raesir. Surely someone from the end of the 1st part got sus to it being him or Luca (was never going to be Luca btw, I've put him through enough. As for the mention of Suzero he remembers, a conveniant accident seized upon). The duel itself is finished, it's been difficult to sort out due to AOJ's being very unspammable in going into Synchro's and not really knowing what to do with Suzero's deck to start with, plus lack of motivation. But I'm happy with the end result. Just typing it up now. Will try to get it up tonight before I go to my mates to play FIFA, watch WWE Vengeance and have a laugh, but as I only started writing it at 11 this morning (nearly four hours ago) and have to go at 9 (in six hours) it probably won't be possible). Edit: Yeah, its not going to be possible to get this finished tonight. Or tomorrow since I always have 1000 things to do on a Monday. And I want to make sure its perfect, so patience might be called for (I know thats going to be frustrating given where I've left it, but please, it'll be up when its right). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aviv: D's Knight Posted October 23, 2011 Report Share Posted October 23, 2011 Sorry., I ussually post from my iPad at 11:00 because I have to compete with my two older brothers and mom/dad for the computer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vector Nightmare Posted October 23, 2011 Report Share Posted October 23, 2011 Numbers, eh? Can't say I dislike it, especially since it ties in with Dominik's 'filler' chapter earlier. In fact I like this. A lot. Eh, I guess there were only so many times Raesir could cheat death before he finally kicked the bucket. Poor dude. I was actually thinking Bane was an old character since part 1 where you mentioned he seemed familiar (in stories, noone ever seems familiar without being familiar, or extremely related to someone familiar), except my mind was on Hirz. Ah well. I'm not gonna whine about the new enemy, partly because she (her concept) was foreshadowed a bit in Dominik vs XYZ, and partly because I love crazy murderous villain chicks. I'm wondering whether she'll keep using Raesir's main deck, or if she has a deck of her own. I can't wait to see which Numbers she'll unleash, and how Sabin will fight back. Savior Demons will probably make a cameo especially since its skill is well-suited to fighting the Numbers. I suspect the final ace being Scar-Red Nova, of course. But the stuff in between is what I'm really looking forward to. Technically, I'd complain that dividing a line of dialogue into three one-word parts to produce emphasis is something taken from the spoken word that has no place in the written one. But that UNLEASH THE NUMBERS part was so well-written and well-timed that it actually made me shiver a little bit when I read it, so I'll let it slide >.> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bahamut - Envoy of the End Posted October 23, 2011 Author Report Share Posted October 23, 2011 Sorry., I ussually post from my iPad at 11:00 because I have to compete with my two older brothers and mom/dad for the computer. No worries, just don't get yourself into trouble with it. (Mind you I doubt any mods look in this thread anyway). Numbers, eh? Can't say I dislike it, especially since it ties in with Dominik's 'filler' chapter earlier. In fact I like this. A lot. Eh, I guess there were only so many times Raesir could cheat death before he finally kicked the bucket. Poor dude. I was actually thinking Bane was an old character since part 1 where you mentioned he seemed familiar (in stories, noone ever seems familiar without being familiar, or extremely related to someone familiar), except my mind was on Hirz. Ah well. I'm not gonna whine about the new enemy, partly because she (her concept) was foreshadowed a bit in Dominik vs XYZ, and partly because I love crazy murderous villain chicks. I'm wondering whether she'll keep using Raesir's main deck, or if she has a deck of her own. I can't wait to see which Numbers she'll unleash, and how Sabin will fight back. Savior Demons will probably make a cameo especially since its skill is well-suited to fighting the Numbers. I suspect the final ace being Scar-Red Nova, of course. But the stuff in between is what I'm really looking forward to. Technically, I'd complain that dividing a line of dialogue into three one-word parts to produce emphasis is something taken from the spoken word that has no place in the written one. But that UNLEASH THE NUMBERS part was so well-written and well-timed that it actually made me shiver a little bit when I read it, so I'll let it slide >.> As I said in the spoiler, I think most people would have been like 'whose Hirz' if I had chosen him. Suzero's deck was one of the major reasons I didn't get a head start on this ages ago (and have been writing all day). But I thought it would be a bit weird to allow her to change her deck mid-duel, so she's using a combination of Raesir's cards and her own, such as Tour Guide, for basic Instant Xyz strategies. Last minute decision to do that, but glad it had an effect. :D As for the end, I've been working on it since 11ish this morning (had to watch New Zealand win first :D) until now 9 in the evening, but found it really difficult in places despite having the duel already scripted and my mind just couldn't go constantly in the end; needed a few breaks to freshen up. In fairness its a good thing because... I dunno if anyone here follows Moto GP at all, but there is something that happens in the final chapter which given the very sad events of today, well when I read back what I'd written I just thought I couldn't post it. Not today. Chapter is probably halfway written. Got to go out now to see some friends and will be out late, and I'm really busy tomorrow, so this should be up and done Tuesday. Wednesday latest. Gives others chance to catch up as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~Tico~ Posted October 23, 2011 Report Share Posted October 23, 2011 WHOA. I was just bored and decided to read the first fan fic I saw, which happened to be YGO Armageddon. Twenty minutes later, I realize I'm still reading. This story is quite good and I definitely enjoyed it. The duels are great, the exposition moves along smoothly, and there's little to complaing about generally. You can be sure that I'll be back to read more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Not-so-Radiant Arin Posted October 24, 2011 Report Share Posted October 24, 2011 WHOA. I was just bored and decided to read the first fan fic I saw, which happened to be YGO Armageddon. Twenty minutes later, I realize I'm still reading. This story is quite good and I definitely enjoyed it. The duels are great, the exposition moves along smoothly, and there's little to complaing about generally. You can be sure that I'll be back to read more. LOL That's how I was when I clicked on this topic. I start at 7:00 at night from Chapter 1. Eight hours later, at 3:00 at night, I finish the second arc. Days and days worth of waiting, next chapter comes out. I came. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reinforce Posted October 24, 2011 Report Share Posted October 24, 2011 I am liking the aftermath chapters, especially Hideki's story, but I dislike you using raesir as a bad guy again, and probably killing him too, the duel is good though, and I was expecting the temporal machine gods, rather than xyz monsters. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bahamut - Envoy of the End Posted October 24, 2011 Author Report Share Posted October 24, 2011 WHOA. I was just bored and decided to read the first fan fic I saw, which happened to be YGO Armageddon. Twenty minutes later, I realize I'm still reading. This story is quite good and I definitely enjoyed it. The duels are great, the exposition moves along smoothly, and there's little to complaing about generally. You can be sure that I'll be back to read more. Another new reader, awesome. Glad you liked it. Also can I point you in the direction of the excellent YGO Dead Zone by Epic Hero Saber. It's very very good stuff. LOL That's how I was when I clicked on this topic. I start at 7:00 at night from Chapter 1. Eight hours later, at 3:00 at night, I finish the second arc. Days and days worth of waiting, next chapter comes out. I came. Well I've got the spoilers worked out, so hopefully should get the finale up tomorrow. I am liking the aftermath chapters, especially Hideki's story, but I dislike you using raesir as a bad guy again, and probably killing him too, the duel is good though, and I was expecting the temporal machine gods, rather than xyz monsters. Good to hear from you again. Well I wanted to use a previous character, and Hirz wasn't big enough and Luca I didn't want to put through anymore s***. Raesir is an unlucky bloke isn't he? Temporal Gods, no reason to. They are the past. Numbers are the future (of the next fanfic which I'm trying not so subtly to promote at the same time. Will reveal some more details later). Glad you enjoyed Hikari's chapter though. She deserved her Happy Ending (song I had on repeat whilst writing it). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reinforce Posted October 24, 2011 Report Share Posted October 24, 2011 Thanks, though I think you have put raesir through about as much s*** as luca anyway. Also, if you don't hear from me for a while on these stories, it just is me being lazy, nothing against the story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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