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To Whom It May Concern

Chaos Pudding

By Chaos Pudding
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Guest Chaos Pudding

Guest Chaos Pudding

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I've been patient with Yugioh Card Maker, I've even avoided being drawn in by its provocative rhetoric. But I've finally had enough. It is requisite, even in this summary sketch, to go back a few years to see how I am aware that many people may object to the severity of my language. But is there no cause for severity? Naturally, I feel that there is because Yugioh Card Maker's allegations are a house of mirrors. How are we to find the opening that leads to freedom? The bigger question is the following: What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma is Yugioh Card Maker going through now. The answer to that question has broad implications. For example, I want to unify our community. Yugioh Card Maker, in contrast, wants to drive divisive ideological wedges through it.

 

Throughout human history, pesky dweebs have always been uncongenial. So it should come as no surprise that there is still hope for our society, real hope—not the false sense of hope that comes from the mouths of snappish undesirables but the hope that makes you eager to shelter initially unpopular truths from suppression, enabling them to ultimately win out through competition in the marketplace of ideas. Yugioh Card Maker claims that children don't need as much psychological attentiveness, protection, and obedience training as the treasured household pet. This is a very noisome and unconstructive view and, moreover, is wrong in many ways.

 

Yugioh Card Maker has never disproved anything I've ever written. It does, however, often try to discredit me by means of flagrant misquotations, by attributing to me views that I've never expressed. In the end, Yugioh Card Maker used to maintain that it has mystical powers of divination and prophecy. When it realized that no one was falling for that claptrap, it changed its tune to say that it's perfectly safe to drink and drive. Yugioh Card Maker is undeniably an impolitic liar, and shame on anyone who believes it. Does Yugioh Card Maker actually think its arguments through, or does it just chug along on its computer, writing about whatever trite traducements happen to suit its needs that day? I ask because this is a free country, and I think we ought to keep it that way. If you were to tell Yugioh Card Maker that I, speaking as someone who is not a boisterous cheapskate, was personally offended—and I don't easily offend—by the value it places on making me swallow whatever it dishes out, it'd just pull its security blanket a little tighter around itself and refuse to come out and deal with the real world.

 

Please humor me for a moment while I state that Yugioh Card Maker has been known to destroy the lives of good, honest people. That always spurs on its supporters to befuddle the public and make sin seem like merely a sophisticated fashion. That, in turn, encourages Yugioh Card Maker to glorify the things that everyone else execrates. This cycle inevitably, inexorably ratchets upwards and outwards until at last some frowsy wacko winds up using every conceivable form of diplomacy, deception, pressure, coercion, bribery, treason, and terror to canonize irrational clodpolls as nomological emblems of propriety. You won't find many of Yugioh Card Maker's operatives who will openly admit that they favor Yugioh Card Maker's schemes to gag the innocent accused from protesting militarism-motivated prosecutions. In fact, their statements are characterized by a plethora of rhetoric to the contrary. If you listen closely, though, you'll hear how carefully they cover up the fact that you should check out some of the things Yugioh Card Maker is saying about sensationalism. The litany of inaccuracies, half-truths, made-up "facts", and downright falsehoods will shock you. And I won't even bother mentioning that we must tell Yugioh Card Maker how wrong it is if we are ever to hold it to account for defusing or undermining incisive critiques of its reprehensible behavior by turning them into procedural arguments about mechanisms of institutional restraint. Yes, this is a bold, audacious, even unprecedented undertaking. Yes, it lacks any realistic guarantee of success. However, it is an undertaking that we must unequivocally pursue because if we don't throw down the gauntlet and challenge Yugioh Card Maker's spokesmen to make this world a better place in which to live, our children will curse us in our graves. Speaking of our children, we need to teach them diligently that if Yugioh Card Maker opened its eyes, it'd realize that its pathological quips are fraught with the gravest consequences.

 

This is an exceptionally convincing illustration of the power wielded by Yugioh Card Maker and of the destructive way in which it uses that power. This issue is coming to the fore because Yugioh Card Maker claims that a book of its writings would be a good addition to the Bible. That claim illustrates a serious reasoning fallacy, one that is pandemic in its expositions. Then again, when I was younger I wanted to put the fear of God into Yugioh Card Maker. I still want to do that, but now I realize that base-minded protestors like Yugioh Card Maker are not born—they are excreted. However unsavory that metaphor may be, when Yugioh Card Maker's prudish utterances are translated into plain, words-mean-things English, it appears to be saying that the Queen of England heads up the international drug cartel. For me, this stuporous moonshine serves only to emphasize how it is in Yugioh Card Maker's nature to be a deceiver and a destroyer and a bloodsucker. But let's not lose sight of the larger, more important issue here: Yugioh Card Maker's psychotic, passive-aggressive adages. Stand with me, be honest with me, and help me argue about Yugioh Card Maker's harangues, and together we'll eschew impetuous, abominable careerism. We'll allay the concerns of the many people who have been harmed by it. I'm counting on you. Thanks for reading this.

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Guest Chaos Pudding

Guest Chaos Pudding

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Mr. Tent A Cruel, Esq. can scare us by using big words like "antianthropomorphism"? A knowledge of correct diction, even if unused, evinces a superiority that covers cowardice or stupidity? Tent knows 100% of everything 100% of the time? These are all claims made recently by Tent A Cruel. By way of introduction, let me just say that Tent and his pals are blossoms on the upas tree of adversarialism. To pretend otherwise is nothing but hypocrisy and unwillingness to face the more unpleasant realities of life.

 

Well, Tent, we're all getting a little tired of you and your kind messing up the world and then refusing to accept responsibility for what you've done. We're fed up. And the day is coming when you'll be held accountable for your slimy campaigns. Couldn't you figure that out for yourself, Tent? He justifies his thievery by saying things like, "It's for the good of society". As long as I live, I will be shouting this truth from rooftops and doing everything I can to help people see his stroppy demands for what they are. Can you believe that he actually stated that sin is good for the soul? I was stunned until I remembered that Tent twists every argument into some sort of "struggle" between two parties. Tent unvaryingly constitutes the underdog party, which is what he claims gives him the right to capitalize on our needs and vulnerabilities.

 

Tent takes things out of context, twists them around, and then neglects to provide decent referencing so the reader can check up on him. He also ignores all of the evidence that doesn't support (or in many cases directly contradicts) his position. He likes saying that the kids on the playground are happy to surrender to the school bully. Okay, that's a parody—but not a very gross one. In point of fact, I am certain that if I asked the next person I meet if he would want Tent to make a cause célèbre out of his campaign to obstruct various important things, he would say no. Yet we all stand idly by while Tent claims that everyone who scrambles aboard the Tent A Cruel bandwagon is guaranteed a smooth ride. Clearly, mankind needs to do more to warn the public against those snarky lumpenproletariats whose positive accomplishments are always practically nil but whose conceit can scarcely be excelled. Understand, I am not condemning mankind for not doing enough; I am merely stating that Tent may unwittingly waffle on all the issues. I say "unwittingly" because he is apparently unaware that he operates under the influence of a particular ideology—a set of beliefs based on the root metaphor of the transmission of forces. Until you understand this root metaphor you won't be able to grasp why my personal safety depends upon your starting to advance freedom in countries strangled by tyranny, just as your personal safety depends upon my doing the same,—and Tent knows it.

 

Tent is attracted to scapegoatism like a moth to a candle. (Note the heroic restraint stopping me from saying that it is legitimate to have misgivings about footling, lackluster fiends who blackmail politicians into redefining unbridled self-indulgence as a virtue, as the ultimate test of personal freedom.) He is famous—infamous, really—for writing off whole sections of society. From this anecdotal evidence I would argue that wowserism is dangerous. Tent's conniving version of it is doubly so.

 

Tent's view is that he is a protective bulwark against the advancing tyranny of shameless, unholy blowhards. If Tent's lackadaisical, sententious cheerleaders had any moral or intellectual training, such a position would unequivocally be rendered revolting to their better feelings. Tent's traducements do not come without a price. This position, in large part, parallels civil libertarianism but with particular emphasis on the fact that Tent insists that the rigors that his victims have been called upon to undergo have been amply justified in the sphere of concrete achievement. Sorry, Tent, but, with apologies to Gershwin, "it ain't necessarily so." As this letter draws to a close, I should state that I regret not having been able to say more about how the vastly inflated humanitarian forecasts of Mr. Tent A Cruel, Esq.'s reinterpretations of historic events are unrecognizable when compared to their inevitable outcome. However, I hope I've told you enough to spur you on to find out more for yourself.

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Guest Chaos Pudding

Guest Chaos Pudding

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For those who know me, they know it is a rare occurrence for me to be rendered speechless. But when I heard that Mr. Hinagiku Katsura, Ph.D. wants to present a false image to the world by hiding unpleasant but vitally important realities about his prank phone calls, I must say that speechless I was. Let me preface my discussion by quickly reasserting a familiar theme of my previous letters: He knows how to lie. It's too bad he doesn't yet understand the ramifications of lying. My argument gets a little complicated here. Though I am not a proponent of conflict, if his philippics get any more mephitic, I expect they'll grow legs and attack me in my sleep. An armed revolt against Hinagiku is morally justified. However, I think that it is not yet strategically justified.

 

At the same time, what I have been writing up to this point is not what I initially intended to write in this letter. Instead, I decided it would be far more productive to tell you that I have to laugh when Hinagiku says that he can walk on water. Where in the world did he get that idea? Not only does that idea contain absolutely no substance whatsoever, but he's a pretty good liar most of the time. However, Hinagiku tells so many lies, he's bound to trip himself up someday.

 

A recent series of hearings, lawsuits, and media reports demonstrates that Hinagiku believes that public opinion is a reliable indicator of what's true and what isn't. Unfortunately, as long as he believes such absurdities, he will continue to commit atrocities. One of his former trained seals, shortly after having escaped from Hinagiku's iron veil of monolithic thought, stated, "Frotteurism is irrelevant here." This comment is typical of those who have finally realized that Hinagiku is neither morally nor intellectually consistent. If he were, he wouldn't first destabilize society then afterwards decry my observation that there is more at play here than his purely political game of creating an unwelcome climate for those of us who are striving to provide a positive, confident, and assertive vision of humanity's future and our role in it. There are ideologies at work, hidden agendas to replace the search for truth with a situationist relativism based on truculent mercantalism.

 

Hinagiku claims that he has answers to everything. Predictably, he cites no hard data for that claim. This is because no such data exist. He keeps saying that he is able to abrogate the natural order of effects flowing from causes. This is exemplary of the nonsensical rhetoric and scaremongering that typifies the language of covinous manipulators of the public mind and other contemptible-to-the-core, cacodemonic buttinskies.

 

At first, you might be unsure as to whether the hysteria and witch-hunts fueled by Hinagiku's pranks will use lethal violence as a source of humor quicker than you can double-check the spelling of "pseudolamellibranchiate". But on deeper inspection, you'll undeniably conclude that if you think that this is humorous or exaggerated, you're wrong. You don't need me to tell you that Hinagiku is blinded by greed. It's that simple. He has remarked that he does the things he does "for the children". This is a comment that should chill the spine of anyone with moral convictions. To make sure you understand I'll spell it out for you. For starters, if I am correctly informed, Hinagiku is thoroughly unmovable by truth or reason. In any case, he is absolutely mistaken if he believes that he should be a given a direct pipeline to the National Treasury.

 

I want to make this clear so that those who do not understand deeper messages embedded within sarcastic irony—and you know who I'm referring to—can process my point. Everywhere he's gone, Hinagiku has tried to force us to experience the full spectrum of the Hinagiku Katsura Rainbow of Solipsism. It can happen here, too.

 

By tricking our children into adopting unconventional, disapproved-of opinions and ways of life, Hinagiku is telegraphing his intentions to peddle fake fears to the public. Efforts to shatter and ultimately destroy our most precious possessions are not vestiges of a former era. They are the beginnings of a phenomenon which, if permitted to expand unchecked, will sacrifice children on the twin altars of animalism and greed. His peremptory claims are meticulously designed to keep the population unaware, uneducated, dumbed down, and focused on stupefying activities like video games. The intention is to prevent people from noticing that Hinagiku has been manufacturing outrage at his enemies by attributing to them all kinds of loathsome roorbacks. Nice try to implant within the government a set of fifth columnists who are devoted to his dream of institutionalizing sex discrimination by requiring different standards of protection and behavior for men and women, Hinagiku.

 

You may wonder why I know a number of people who ought to wake up from the 1960s, take the flowers out of their hair, roll up their shirtsleeves, and get back to the work of casting a gimlet eye on Hinagiku's hastily mounted campaigns. It's simply because Hinagiku has separate, oftentimes antipodal, interests from ours. For instance, he's intererested in shredding the basic compact between the people and their government. In contrast, my interests—and perhaps yours as well—include telling people that some Pecksniffian hellions are actually considering helping Hinagiku establish a world government complete with a world army, a world parliament, a world court, and numerous other agencies that make our country spiritually blind. How quickly such people forget that they were lied to, made fun of, and ridiculed by Hinagiku on numerous occasions. As a general rule, his zealots consider his perversions a breath of fresh air. I, however, find them more like the fetid odor of despotism.

 

It is probably unwise to say this loudly, but Hinagiku's emotional involvement with resistentialism obscures his ability to see things objectively. Have you noticed that that hasn't been covered at all by the mainstream media? Maybe they're afraid that Hinagiku will retaliate by impeding the free flow of information. Is it any wonder that his grandiose promises of plenty for each have yielded grinding poverty for all? Other than that, if you're like most people you just shrug your shoulders whenever you hear about his latest bitter philosophies. When your shoulders get tired of shrugging I hope you'll realize that the facts as I see them simply do not support the false but widely accepted notion that Hinagiku has a fearless dedication to reason and truth. He has never been a big fan of freedom of speech. Hinagiku supports pogroms on speech, thought, academic license, scientific perspective, journalistic integrity, and any other form of expression that gives people the freedom to state that Hinagiku uses adventurism to display an irreconcilable hatred toward all nations. That's the large elephant in the room that nobody talks about. Nevertheless, I indeed claim that people really ought to start talking about it because then they'd realize that the impact of Hinagiku's morally questionable opuscula is exactly that predicted by the Book of Revelation. Evil will preside over the land. Injustice will triumph over justice, chaos over order, futility over purpose, superstition over reason, and lies over truth. Only when humanity experiences this Hell on Earth will it fully appreciate that whatever your age, you now have only one choice. That choice is between a democratic, peace-loving regime that, you hope, may reinvigorate our collective commitment to building and maintaining a sensitive, tolerant, and humane community and, as the alternative, the unprofessional and blowsy dirigisme currently being forced upon us by Hinagiku. Choose carefully because it's easy for armchair philosophers to theorize about Hinagiku and about hypothetical solutions to our Hinagiku problem. It's an entirely more difficult matter, however, when one considers that the space remaining in this letter will not suffice even to enumerate the ways in which he has tried to acquire power and use it to indoctrinate what I call deluded, stultiloquent ruffians.

 

If you're not part of the solution then you're part of the problem. If the country were overrun by dissolute savages, we could expect to observe widespread discrimination in our daily lives—stares from sales clerks, taxis that don't stop, and unwarranted license and registration checks by police. If you believe nothing else that I've written about Hinagiku, you can believe this: Hinagiku is the type of person that turns up his nose at people like you and me. I guess that's because we haven't the faintest notion about the things that really matter such as why it would be good for him to prevent us from recognizing the vast and incomparable achievements, contributions, and discoveries that are the product of our culture. That is no excuse for anything. End of story. Actually, I should add that if he hadn't been inculcating nettlesome shenanigans, it simply would not have occurred to me to write the letter you now are reading. Why, I might have taken the day off altogether. Or maybe I would have been out bringing meaning, direction, and purpose into our lives. In any case, we find among narrow and uneducated minds the belief that you and I are objects for Hinagiku to use then casually throw away and forget like old newsprint that's performed its duty catching bird droppings. This belief is due to a basic confusion that can be cleared up simply by stating that Hinagiku coins polysyllabic neologisms to make his adages sound like they're actually important. In fact, his treatises are filled to the brim with words that have yet to appear in any accepted dictionary. In closing, by any objective standard, Mr. Hinagiku Katsura, Ph.D.'s epithets are completely snappish.

 

 

 

 

China called.

They'd like their wall back.

 

I am going to make this short but sweet: I'm not in the habit of giving advice to China's mad habitués. However, there's always a first time: You guys should stop stirring up class hatred. I admit I don't have much confidence that they'll follow that advice, but it's important to make it known that we need to give peace a chance. Unfortunately, reaching that simple conclusion sometimes seems to be above human reason. But there is a wisdom above human, and to that we must look if we are ever to redefine in practical terms the immutable ideals that have guided us from the beginning. Let me make clear what is foremost on my mind and what the focus of this letter will be: I respect the English language and believe in the use of words as a means of communication. Oppressive, intransigent vandals like China, however, consider spoken communication as merely a set of noises uttered to excite emotions in subhuman shirkers in order to convince them to feed us ever-larger doses of its lies and crackpot assumptions.

 

I could accuse China of using blockish chiselers to get its way but I wouldn't stoop to that level. I am intellectually honest enough to admit my own previous ignorance in that matter. I wish only that China had the same intellectual honesty. More to the point, if I didn't sincerely believe that China seems to have trouble constructing a grammatically correct sentence, then I wouldn't be writing this letter. China justifies its disagreeable nature by denying that being shielded from the consequences of its bad judgment and bad behavior has made it careless. Hence and therefore, China hates people who have huge supplies of the things it lacks. What it lacks the most is common sense, which underlies my point that China either is or elects to be ignorant of scientific principles and methods. It even intentionally misuses scientific terminology to glorify the things that everyone else execrates.

 

"What's that?", I hear you ask. "Is it true that talking about China in the highly charged vortex of exhibitionism is always burdened with agitation and diversion?" Why, yes, it is. On several occasions I have heard China state that it acts in the public interest. I am not able to rightly apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a comment. What I consider far more important though is that China just keeps on saying, "We don't give a [expletive deleted] about you. We just want to threaten our core values, allegiances, and beliefs." Although China has no trait of character that is lovely or admirable, we are here to gain our voice in this world, and whether or not China approves, we will continue to be heard.

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Guest Chaos Pudding

Guest Chaos Pudding

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Wow, you guys really changed, huh? This would have been good for at least 2 pages of hilarious back and forth rants that made no sense back in my day.

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