Squirrel Girl Posted December 20, 2011 Report Share Posted December 20, 2011 [center]Well, this is my first card I made since I took a loooooong break from here[/center] [center][img]http://img198.imageshack.us/img198/3479/133082y.jpg[/img][/center] [center]This card is Summoned in Defense Position. You take no battle damage from battles involving this card. Once per turn; you can banish 1 Level 4 or lower Fiend-Type monster in your Graveyard: Inflict damage equal to the banished monsters Level x400. Once, during this duel, you can Special Summon this card from your Graveyard if you control a Fiend-Type DARK monster.[/center] [center]Hope you enjoy[/center] [center]Img from Jazin Kay's PB archive[/center] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gimmepie Posted December 20, 2011 Report Share Posted December 20, 2011 Very well balanced card. Decent burn after a long build up also. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Squirrel Girl Posted December 20, 2011 Author Report Share Posted December 20, 2011 Why thank you. Yay, 6 star member Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Galkin Posted December 20, 2011 Report Share Posted December 20, 2011 It seems a little weak. First, since the maximum level is 3, you can only deal up to 900 burn from his effect; you can activate ookazi and deal 800 damage for no cost or the need to release a monster. Second, its 0 ATK means it won't last on the field since its vulnerable to battle and card effects, and with the DEF it has, I doubt it'll last long even if its in defense position. While the burn would be would be substantial in the long run, I find it doesn't have enough protection for it to last more than 2 turns. However, I do see the no battle damage thing being used with a Heart of clear water, Mist body, or safe zone to prolong its presence on the field. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Squirrel Girl Posted December 20, 2011 Author Report Share Posted December 20, 2011 Think about that the next card. Need some way to improve my cards since I just returned from about 6 to 10 month. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ragnarok1945 Posted December 20, 2011 Report Share Posted December 20, 2011 you should have made the burn bigger right now, since you said it has to be lv3 or lower, the max burn is only 900 that's not really much, what you should do is raise the burn per level either that or make it like lv6 or lower or something like that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sgrug4 Posted December 20, 2011 Report Share Posted December 20, 2011 Good its lvl 5 for them awesome XYZs. The burn is too weak though. Really, i think the max should be 1800. Burn those Goldds and sillvvs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Squirrel Girl Posted December 21, 2011 Author Report Share Posted December 21, 2011 I know the burn is low. Will probably change it soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.Leo Posted December 22, 2011 Report Share Posted December 22, 2011 Here is a quick OCG fix for you: This card cannot be Special Summoned. You take no battle damage from battles involving this card. Once per turn; you can banish 1 Level 3 or lower Fiend-Type monster in your Graveyard: Inflict damage equal to the banished monsters Level x300. The card is honestly balanced. Nothing really to say on this card other than it is kinda underwhelming in a way and could be a little bit stronger. Burn cards like this for example, don't really have a big effect in the metagame. Usually, they get taken out very easy and don't hurt your opponent that much. Maybe buffing the burn or adding another effect might make this card a tad more useful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sleepy Posted December 22, 2011 Report Share Posted December 22, 2011 As said already, the card is ok, but it's a little weak. For a suggestion, I'd say get rid of the Level 3 or lower limit, and to not break the burn with that, make it go down to 200 per Level instead. That way you can only do a maximum of 2400 burn per turn, and only if you have a Level 12 to remove. It also gives you a little more versatility on the monsters you want to remove with it. In addition, make it a Level 4 able to be Special Summoned. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.Leo Posted December 22, 2011 Report Share Posted December 22, 2011 [quote name='~Applejack~' timestamp='1324518869' post='5722193'] As said already, the card is ok, but it's a little weak. For a suggestion, I'd say get rid of the Level 3 or lower limit, and to not break the burn with that, make it go down to 200 per Level instead. That way you can only do a maximum of 2400 burn per turn, and only if you have a Level 12 to remove. It also gives you a little more versatility on the monsters you want to remove with it. In addition, make it a Level 4 able to be Special Summoned. [/quote] So essentially, you want to make it better, by lowering the burn. Now that is a great idea. /sarcasm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sleepy Posted December 22, 2011 Report Share Posted December 22, 2011 [quote name='.Leo' timestamp='1324519003' post='5722204'] So essentially, you want to make it better, by lowering the burn. Now that is a great idea. /sarcasm [/quote] You didn't seem to read my post very well. The lowered burn was in exchange for the removal of only "Level 3 or lower ammo" the card already has. If I just suggested the removal of the level-limit, the card would be able to burn for 3600 per turn, which would be pretty stupid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sander Posted December 22, 2011 Report Share Posted December 22, 2011 [quote name='.Leo' timestamp='1324516843' post='5722089'] Here is a quick OCG fix for you: This card cannot be Special Summoned. You take no battle damage from battles involving this card. Once per turn; you can banish 1 Level 3 or lower Fiend-Type monster in your Graveyard: Inflict damage equal to the banished monsters Level x300. [/quote] God damn it, it's condition:cost;effect people, meaning colon is used before the semi-colon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.Leo Posted December 22, 2011 Report Share Posted December 22, 2011 [quote name='~Applejack~' timestamp='1324519351' post='5722229'] You didn't seem to read my post very well. The lowered burn was in exchange for the removal of only "Level 3 or lower ammo" the card already has. If I just suggested the removal of the level-limit, the card would be able to burn for 3600 per turn, which would be pretty stupid. [/quote] That still doesn't improve it at all. And I doubt duellists would have an abundance of level 12 fiend-type monsters in their graveyards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sleepy Posted December 22, 2011 Report Share Posted December 22, 2011 [quote name='.Leo' timestamp='1324520212' post='5722281'] That still doesn't improve it at all. And I doubt duellists would have an abundance of level 12 fiend-type monsters in their graveyards. [/quote] You still don't get it. As it is: -needs Tributes -can't be Special Summoned -does a max burn of 900 per turn. with my suggestions: -no need for Tributes -CAN be Special Summoned -does a max burn of 2400 per turn, but will usually do between 600 and 1000 if used casually. (it also is not much more than the original because it makes up for the other changes you missed) you won't say the card didn't improve at all >.> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gimmepie Posted December 22, 2011 Report Share Posted December 22, 2011 Maybe give it the summoning ability of cyber dragon or tricky instead of making it level four? Applejack your ideas are brilliant IMO. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DARKPLANT RISING Posted December 22, 2011 Report Share Posted December 22, 2011 You certainly did take a long break from here, TC. I can see that well. First of all, a no-SS monster requiring tributes automatically means it needs to have a broken effect for it to be used. For instance, take Light and Darkness Dragon, a hilarious tech in Frognarchs that gurantees massive pluses unless your opponent has a loop eff like Lightsworns or Spirits or Frogs and the latter. Or, Hino-Kagu-Tsuchi, whose punch immidiatly leads to gg. But well, those require 2 tributes, so it's not that important. The important part is that this thing is Level 5, which means it's basically on the same line as the Monarchs - Caius the Shadow Monarch to be exact, which is pretty much the only real commonly used tribute-requiring monster. And when you look at this and Caius, Caius is superior in almost every way: -High ATK -A +1 effect upon summon that gets back that disadvantage of the tribute -Synergy with Genex Ally Birdman in 2 brilliant ways - reuse of its effect and Locomotion The only things this excel at compared to Caius is the fact it's a Level 5 monster, which allows MAGMAX and stuff. But of course that'll stop mattering once The Sacred Ptolemys M7 hits the meta and makes Monarchs amazing. And I'll kill you if you say stuff like "But Ozoma can beat the opponent if he has under 900 LP", because Caius can be used as a Fire Trooper by Banishing itself. It still DOES have its uses: -You can summon Tour Guide next turn and make it evolve into Leviair, SS-ing the Banished random monster. Except oh wait, there's no reason at all to use this over Rescue Rabbit which evolves into a walking Solemn Judgment with a 2400 bulk and also has better synergy with the boss Sea Dragon. -It can be used as a wall! Oh, except, you forgot the "No destruction by battle" clause, which makes Spirit Reaper laugh in your face. Making a 2000 wall against this meta is like protecting yourself from a mass murderer holding a gun using a sheet of cardboard. tl;dr The card is depressingly terrible in all aspects of balance for reasons explained above. The only real things I'll say are good on this are: (1) the art (but it's Jazin Kay so anyone can get it), and more importantly (2) Ozoma just happens to be part of the word Ozomashii, which means disgusting in Japanese, but I'm not sure if you did that on purpose. This is similar to sleepy's suggestions, but I'm taking it even further: -Remove no SS clause -Make it a Level 3 DARK Fiend (and of course, keep its stats) so that it can be used as an emergency Tour Guide target -Allow it to Banish any Level 4 or lower monster from your Graveyard -Make its damage x400 the Level -Just as a good extra, make it also able to SS itself from the Graveyard just once if you control a DARK Fiend-Type monster. Yes, you know where I'm going. And then finally it COULD work in the game. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Squirrel Girl Posted December 22, 2011 Author Report Share Posted December 22, 2011 Thanks for the help. I will change it asap (1 - 2 min). EDIT: Upgraded the card. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gimmepie Posted December 22, 2011 Report Share Posted December 22, 2011 Well it is definitely better than before. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sleepy Posted December 22, 2011 Report Share Posted December 22, 2011 I have no complains on the card. It's perfect as is. Darkplant beat me on that one, and that "disgusting" bit about the name xD I need to show that comment to someone. *keeps laughing* Now it can burn, become an extra utility to Synchros, Xyz, and Tribute Summons. What else could one ask for? ;D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadic the hedgehog 1 Posted December 23, 2011 Report Share Posted December 23, 2011 i want to show the japanise bule eyes i have Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DARKPLANT RISING Posted December 23, 2011 Report Share Posted December 23, 2011 [quote name='Shadic the hedgehog 1' timestamp='1324637801' post='5725015'] i want to show the japanise bule eyes i have [/quote] Yeah, but I happen to be Japanese. And I have over 5 copies of Japanese Blue-Eyeses. OT: That makes it much better. TBH I'd even add to it by making its Banishing eff work on anything as aforementioned, but I suppose this is okay. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mugendramon Posted December 23, 2011 Report Share Posted December 23, 2011 Tour Guide gets another lover. How nice of you. @Shameless +1 part of the effect: We learned (through Plague), that those aren't good for the game. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DARKPLANT RISING Posted December 23, 2011 Report Share Posted December 23, 2011 [quote name='Ｍｕｇｅｎｄｒａｍｏｎ' timestamp='1324644659' post='5725053'] Tour Guide gets another lover. How nice of you. @Shameless +1 part of the effect: We learned (through Plague), that those aren't good for the game. [/quote] Let's add "This card cannot be used as Synchro fodder if it was SS-ed by its own eff". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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