Spirit of DMG Posted December 5, 2012 Author Report Share Posted December 5, 2012 Hmmm... Those are some good points. But... wasn't Chris still alive when I cut that scene off? Yazul had bigger issues to deal with than Pichu. Like that group of young actors who just escaped a burning stage, and the fact that Aqua is currently barely able to breath due to smoke inhalation. Those other issues... well, I dunno. I guess they were standing around trying to keep the fighting away from Rosa, who has no experience in the area whatsoever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fusion X. Denver Posted December 5, 2012 Report Share Posted December 5, 2012 Oh, is he still alive? I kinda thought he died there, but true, it's not outright stated he died. I figured Yazul would at least make a quick phone call, but it is just a kid, so whatever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lt. Colonel Remo Posted December 6, 2012 Report Share Posted December 6, 2012 Chris you fool! Never assume the main character dies unless explicitly stated. Interesting chapter, but I was hoping for a bit more that Deustodo/Creator rivalry to take place. And of course Remo's pants caught on fire, what else is he there for? xD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spirit of DMG Posted December 23, 2012 Author Report Share Posted December 23, 2012 Finally managed to update.. I get the feeling these are gonna be more infrequent now... Maybe I should end this in the next couple chapters instead of aiming for the ten chapters I wanted for Part 2... What do yall think? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lt. Colonel Remo Posted December 23, 2012 Report Share Posted December 23, 2012 You could always put it on hiatus while away in Afghanistan....I'm assuming that's the reason why they're infrequent, right? Edit: DMG, I feel I liked the chapter well enough, but one thing that kinda bugged me was that Odin's entrance and subsequent description seemed like a Kubo-ish asspull Like, he was supposedly dead (informal knowledge that was inserted on the spot) and then just kinda "happens" to be Mikara's mindslave? I don't like that feel man. It's something I expect of Bleach bro Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spirit of DMG Posted December 23, 2012 Author Report Share Posted December 23, 2012 I see where you're comin from. The reason I went with that is this: I needed some way of simultaneously jacking with our groups minds, as well as snapping Karin and Kanna out of the mind-slave deal. I could have always had someone pull Chris's Springtime of Youth line, but that seems out of character for everyone who was there. Using Odin seemed a decent way of getting a new ally against Mikara, snapping his daughters out of the hypnosis, and messing with everyone. Though, now I have to come up with some way to justify him having survived his supposed death... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fusion X. Denver Posted December 24, 2012 Report Share Posted December 24, 2012 You'll think of something. Possibly. Hopefully. Whatevah So Chris lived, that's cool. By the way, I [i]actually[/i] loled at "Good news is I'm not pregnant" As for when to end this, do it whenever you feel's right. If we have to wait a while longer for a proper ending, don't be afraid to do that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blake Posted December 24, 2012 Report Share Posted December 24, 2012 Decided to skim in general and just observe if anything caught my eye. And it did. *Stamps the words "PLOT DEVICE" to own forehead*May actually read it when I have some free time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spirit of DMG Posted December 24, 2012 Author Report Share Posted December 24, 2012 Yay! Another possible reader! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spirit of DMG Posted December 27, 2012 Author Report Share Posted December 27, 2012 Things are starting to wrap up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fusion X. Denver Posted December 27, 2012 Report Share Posted December 27, 2012 Well damn, sh*t's goin cray soon. Wait, a dummy? Wouldn't forensics be able to determine it wasn't Odin? I laughed at Deus' burrito bit though. Makes me miss his and Creator's arguments. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spirit of DMG Posted December 27, 2012 Author Report Share Posted December 27, 2012 Depending on how big the fire is, my friend. A hot enough fire would be able to decompose DNA to uselessness, and in some situations, render dental comparison useless as well, thus meaning that they'd have two choices: List the corpse as "Unknown Person" or follow the logic of "It was his car, therefore, this must be him." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lt. Colonel Remo Posted December 28, 2012 Report Share Posted December 28, 2012 I liked the chapter, but yeah the Ninjew dismissed the Inactive army was kinda funny and sad at the same time Which leads me to my next question, when does the time line split from the original? Like, from the very get-go? Because the inactive and Life seem to be pretty feared already and I'm pretty sure they only became a danger in DEF [i]during[/i] rather than before it started Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fusion X. Denver Posted December 28, 2012 Report Share Posted December 28, 2012 It's been a whole different story from the get-go though, you know? And I believe he mentioned a year time gap between Donovyn's announcement and the following chapter, though I may be mistaken. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lt. Colonel Remo Posted December 28, 2012 Report Share Posted December 28, 2012 [quote name='Fusion X. Denver' timestamp='1356661389' post='6103858'] It's been a whole different story from the get-go though, you know? And I believe he mentioned a year time gap between Donovyn's announcement and the following chapter, though I may be mistaken. [/quote] I know it was a whole different story, but it's still in the same universe and that universe has some base rules Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fusion X. Denver Posted December 28, 2012 Report Share Posted December 28, 2012 What base rules are you referring to though? What I was saying was the fact it's an alternate DEF universe means it doesn't need to follow the exact same line of events, just to involve the same set of players for the most part. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lt. Colonel Remo Posted December 30, 2012 Report Share Posted December 30, 2012 It's like an alternate universe Batman where Bruce Wayne becomes batman except his parents survive He became Batman [i]because [/i]of his parents murder It makes no sense for him to become Batman afterwards Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spirit of DMG Posted December 31, 2012 Author Report Share Posted December 31, 2012 Well, there was this one saga in Spiderman where Peter gets sucked through an inter-dimensional portal and meets an alternate-universe Peter Parker who was a millionaire, and his Uncle Ben survived, and yet he still became Spiderman. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spirit of DMG Posted December 31, 2012 Author Report Share Posted December 31, 2012 Speaking of Spider Man, I've just posted Chapter 16, so, you can always read that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lt. Colonel Remo Posted December 31, 2012 Report Share Posted December 31, 2012 I wasn't in the least expecting for Creator to make that weapon more precise But to casually go on his iPod? That's cold man But I liked how in this universe, the [i]Ultima[/i] has a better purpose other than plot-escape-hatch (looking in Fuse's direction) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spirit of DMG Posted January 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted January 3, 2013 Alright, here's Chapter 17. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fusion X. Denver Posted January 3, 2013 Report Share Posted January 3, 2013 Wait, where? I don't see it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lt. Colonel Remo Posted January 4, 2013 Report Share Posted January 4, 2013 [quote name='Fusion X. Denver' timestamp='1357244250' post='6110308'] Wait, where? I don't see it. [/quote] This You even went through the trouble of updating your sig What happened? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spirit of DMG Posted January 4, 2013 Author Report Share Posted January 4, 2013 Unreliable internet. At any rate, now it really is there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spirit of DMG Posted January 5, 2013 Author Report Share Posted January 5, 2013 Chapter 18 is now up, as well. Huh, this hasn't taken as long as I'd thought it would... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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