D'artagan [a single xyz]

[Garthfunkle Vii Backwards]

[Spoiler=info on this card]
a basic xyz but after it loses its xyz materials his effect bring it back but stronger until the end phase (but under somewhat strict conditions)
[/Spoiler]
[Spoiler=card]
[img]http://i758.photobucket.com/albums/xx221/judedudemud3/Dartagan%20Sly%20Psychomancer_zps12e2e033.jpg[/img]
[/Spoiler]
[Spoiler=card effect]
[color=#000000]2 Level 4 monsters
Once per turn during your Main Phase 1 or your opponent's Standby Phase you can detach 1 Xyz Material from this card, all other face-up monsters you control gain 100 ATK for each Rank of all Xyz monsters you control. If targeted for an attack while it has no Xyz Materials: Target the attacking monster; negate the attack and destroy this card. If this Xyz Summoned card is sent to the Graveyard, when it is banished: Special Summon it in Attack Position and make it's ATK 2700, until the End Phase. [font=arial,helvetica,sans-serif]" [/font]You can only control 1 face-up "D'artagan, Sly Psychomancer".[/color]
[/Spoiler]

[Gojira/Godzilla]

I have bolded the corrections [spoiler='OCG correction']
2 level 4 monsters
Once per turn during any player's turn you can detach 1 Xyz Material from this card[b],[/b]all face-up monsters [b](Except this card)[/b] you control gain ATK equal to the combined rank of all Xyz monsters you control x 100. If this [b]Card[/b] is selected as an attack target while it has no Xyz Materials attached to it[b],[/b] negate th[b]e[/b] attack then dest[b]r[/b]oy this card. If this card is banish[b]ed[/b] from your Graveyard after it was Xyz Summon[b]ed[/b] from your Extra Deck, Special Summon it in ATK[b] Position[/b]. When this effect is activated, this card's ATK becomes 2700 until the End Phase.[b] This Effect can only be activated Once per Duel[/b]
[/spoiler]
From what I could understand of your [u][b]TERRIBLE[/b][/u] OCG, this card is a worthless card, and it would probably never see [b][u]ANY[/u][/b]use at all, it has useless effects and the art is the only redeeming feature of the card. at best this card gets a 4/10

[Garthfunkle Vii Backwards]

fix it i was typing fast

[Organized Chaos]

An interesting card. First off to begin with, I will start by asking what is the point of this card exactly? It's stats are matched easily by almost all the other Rank 4s so why pick this anyway? It's effect while somewhat helpful require proper set up to get actual results. It is a genuinely balanced effect and one that could work but it's weak stats hold it back. If you activate it's effect while only controlling it and no other Xyz Monsters, the effect gives a meager 400 ATK boost, making this card's stats only 2100, a total which can be beat by a lot of commonly played monsters.

With 2 D'artagan on the field however all of your monsters gain a 1600 boost (each D'artagan's effect will increase all the monsters ATK by 800 and since there are 2 = 800 x 2 = 1600) So if anything, raise the monster's ATK to at least 2000 and add the effect

You can only control 1 face-up "D'artagan, Sly Psychomancer".

This will allow your monster to have fine enough ATK after using it's effect to take down the like of the Evolzars and the Monarchs while the added effect will stop you from boosting your monster's ATK to obscene amounts. The second effect (the one concerning it having no Materials then negating the attack) is fine to be honest as this card will most likely be destroyed before activating it but it still remains as a good counter to cards that take away your Materials.

Now we come onto the last effect. It is somewhat balanced. It can be easily destroyed and easily banished so I would agree with ~10~ and make it once per duel. Why ? Because you can simply go Summon this > Use effect on all monsters > Scrap Dragon/Life Potion/other random destroying stuff > Target this > Banish it for cost of something > Summon this with 2700 ATK > Net profit. It's a good idea (considering it's type, attribute and original ATK make it quite hard to banish using effects. Not to mention, the attack boost only lasts till the End Phase) but it can still be abused. So change it to "Once per Duel, [font=arial,helvetica,sans-serif][size=4][color=#5A5A5A] If this card is destroyed then banished from your Graveyard after it was Xyz Summoned from your Extra Deck, Special Summon it in ATK Position. When this effect is activated, this card's ATK becomes 2700 until the End Phase."[/color][/size][/font]

All in all, a good yet somewhat underpowered card. It's effect is good but can be abused so I would add a effect, restricting the use of 2 or more D'artagans. It's base ATK can be improved on so again, I would reccommend bumping it up to 2000 or 2100. It's secondary effect, while good on paper, can be easily abused so a "Once per Duel" effect or similar restriction would not go amiss. It's a very creative card I will give you that. Well done for doing so, the Type and Attribute made me chuckle a bit, just by their absurdity yet I now see you did it to make it less abusable.

I apologise for the long post and if I offended you in anyway by improving on your already good work.

[Sleepy]

It is a pretty respectable card on it's own. I'd only complain that, I dislike "once per Duel" effects, and think you could get away with just taking that part off.
You need set up and some degree of effort to repeat it's effect anyways. That way it could tech Soul Release to ruin some of your opponent's Graveyard set up, while reviving up to 3 copies of this card.

The OCG is awkward.
2 [color=blue]L[/color]evel 4 monsters
Once per turn, during either player's turn[color=blue]: Y[/color]ou can detach 1 Xyz Material from this card[color=blue]; A[/color]ll [color=blue]other[/color] face-up monsters you control gain 100 ATK [color=blue]for each Rank of all Xyz monsters you control. If targeted for an attack while it has no Xyz Materials: Target the attacking monster; negate the attack and destroy this card. If this Xyz Summoned card is sent to the Graveyard, when it is banished: Special Summon it in Attack Position and make it's ATK 2700, until the End Phase.[/color]

^or that's the way I'd word it.

[Garthfunkle Vii Backwards]

thanks to both for the comments and the ocg

the card has been adjusted

[Sleepy]

I know I'm being nitpicky about this, but it gets my attention and bothers me a little so I have to mention it:

Opponent does not need capital O, it's "[b]o[/b]pponent" unless it was the start of a sentense, but the word "opponent" never starts a sentense, ever. That might be the reason it looks a little out of place.

Other than that I find no other OCG errors, and the "only 1 copy of this card at a time" part makes the Soul Release combo not that great anymore, but it's still a very solid card. I'd use "Gigantes" to banish it and get a 1900 ATK Heavy Storm on legs AND a 2700 ATK beatstick for a +1

[Garthfunkle Vii Backwards]

if i use its effect to ss it back then xyz summon anthor and keep it up 2-3 at least major beaters so i was like maybe op'ed

plus check out "[GVB] a single spell card thats about xyz [GVB]" there some thing about that gives me goose bumps lol

[Sleepy]

[quote name='Garthfunkle Vii Backwards' timestamp='1348075276' post='6028043']
if i use its effect to ss it back then xyz summon anthor and keep it up 2-3 at least major beaters so i was like maybe op'ed

plus check out "[GVB] a single spell card thats about xyz [GVB]" there some thing about that gives me goose bumps lol
[/quote]

I don't really know what "[GVB]" stands for ^^", but your card is fine as it is. It [i]might[/i] still be fine without the last clause, but you definitely do not have to do any changes, because it is also good as is. As I already stated, there are fun combos you can do with it as is.

Cheers~

[Garthfunkle Vii Backwards]

[quote name='Sleepy' timestamp='1348081238' post='6028108']
I don't really know what "[GVB]" stands for ^^", but your card is fine as it is. It [i]might[/i] still be fine without the last clause, but you definitely do not have to do any changes, because it is also good as is. As I already stated, there are fun combos you can do with it as is.
Cheers~
[/quote]
gvb garfunkle vii backwards