[COMPLETELY REVIEWED]Vampire Queen

[JamieDeeRaw]

Fubbed last card, made edits ^_^ , new card enjoy.
Tell me if I fubbed it lol.[attachment=39863:createcard-75.jpg]

[ChaosMarquis]

good card man, you are new?

copy the original cards to create a card its that i do

[JamieDeeRaw]

Yes, just started yesterday, got back into Yu-Gi-Oh! last week, you can say it's funner now than back in the day.

[Trebuchet MS]

"Polymerization" is never used as a Fusion Material Monster. Try again.

 

You may also want to include or link us to "Princess of Haydes" and "Vampire Dragon Queen".

 

While we're at it, realistic cards go here.

[JamieDeeRaw]

That would be true if it weren't for the fact this card is special.

[Flash Flyer - Sakura]

Like Gadjiltron mentioned on your other thread, you can only have 1 printed Type on your card. Choose one of those Types and add an effect saying "this card is also treated as a (Type) here" if that's what you want.

 

Because we don't know what Princess of Haydes and/or Vampire Dragon Queen do, as Gadjiltron mentioned above, you need to link them or include them here (in which case, you'll need to ask Zextra/one of the mods to move this to Multiple Cards). Otherwise, we have no way of gauging this card in terms of balance and its relation to them.

 

Although I can offer some critique on what you do have however:

 

Basically it's a Level 8 3000/1200 vanilla Fusion Monster that requires Polymerization as a fusion component, which as Gadj mentioned, doesn't work that way in game (not even with the anime-only Dragon cards). You should give this card some sort of effect besides that this card can be used to summon Dragon Queen.

 

 

If you read the title of this forum, it says "Realistic Cards", stuff that could hypothetically be printed by Konami if they ever came here. With that said, cards shouldn't have to rely on unexisting cards to be effective and should have some degree of playability, based on how the card game functions in reality. I apologize if this sounds harsh, but in here, the standards are relatively high and you are expected to have some degree of knowing how to make a decent card + playing the TCG.

[JamieDeeRaw]

[attachment=39865:createcard-71-1.jpg][attachment=39866:createcard-64-1.jpg]

[Trebuchet MS]

I'll just point out the bits of that card which irk me...

• 2 printed Types, again
• Spirit monster that lacks the usual Spirit effects or any variant thereof
• What's "Hatreds Gates"?
• 20 point DEF increase
• What's "defense standpoint"?
• Pin-pointed Obelisk hate

[JamieDeeRaw]

I was joking in the last comment I made, really appreciate the feedback, I know my concept is heading in a global direction, it's my coming back for so long that's got my "blah" but with comments and support, I'll be able to make material with the best artists here ^_^

[attachment=39867:createcard-19-1.jpg]

Holy Sh**, I made 89 cards today, and I have to change them.... Jesus, thanks to you guys I won't be stuck with over a hundred cards to edit, really appreciate ^_^

[Trebuchet MS]

Now, on Vampire Dragon Queen:

• You cannot Normal or Ritual Summon a Synchro monster.
• Polymerization cannot be a Synchro Material.
• 3 printed Types! THREE!
• Synchro requirements lack a Tuner.
• Union subtype without the usual Union monster effects.

Look, I don't think you really know what you're doing. Do read up on how the various cards (Fusions, Synchros, Rituals, etc) work, understand how their lore is written, then come back to improve on your cards.

[Flash Flyer - Sakura]

@Gadj: I'm assuming the "defense standpoint" is referring to it being in Defense Position.

 

@thread creator: In the future, add the new cards to the original post (don't make a new post with them on it). Since this now has 2+ cards in it, you'll need to ask a mod to move this to Multiples for you (or in this case, AoC).

 

Gadj already pointed out that both of your cards have multiple types; again, choose one to leave as the printed Type and have the others be listed in an effect marked "This card is also treated as a (whatever)-Type monster". He already did the Princess Haydes card for CnC, so I'll do your Synchro (Vampire Dragon Queen). Just keep in mind that because of the nature of RC, the review will be relatively harsh. Again, I do apologize.

 

- Multiple types again; as mentioned in above paragraph, select 1 of those Types to be printed and the rest can be included in that sub-effect.

- Improper usage of Synchro mechanics (Synchro Materials are generally listed as 1 Tuner + 1 or more non-Tuner monsters). Your card is better suited as a Fusion Monster the way you worded it. And again, Polymerization CANNOT be used for Fusion/Synchro/Xyz Material monsters.

- Misuse of Union mechanic

- Whatever Gadjiltron mentioned above.

 

Effect is the only thing that's OK (although worded correctly, should be like the following: When this card is Synchro Summoned: All DARK monsters gain 300 ATK and DEF)

 

For the Ritual Card, missing the usual text on card.

 

 

I hate to say this, but at the rate you're going with these sets, you might find it best to stay in the Any Other Cards section until you brush up on how game mechanics/card types work. As I mentioned earlier, the standards in Realistic Cards are quite high. I highly suggest you read the two stickies at the top of that forum to get an idea of how to make good cards that'll survive here and also take a look at the cards that are in that section.

 

In any case, you have a lot of work to do. If you don't fix up your cards, you won't have a good reputation inside this section. If you hope to be like the rest of the members here, your OCG and knowledge of how the game works needs to improve dramatically. We know that you're new, but take this to heart.