[Loyalist] Cosmic Guardians - Mini Set

[Loyalist]

Just a small set I made since I haven't made any new cards recently. Tried to be original. :P

 

[spoiler='Monsters']

Cannot be Normal Summoned/Set. You can Special Summon this card (from your hand) by banishing 1 "Cosmic" monster you control. When this card is Special Summoned: Destroy all face-up monsters on the field with 1000 or less DEF.

 

When this card is Summoned: You can target 1 monster your opponent controls; change it to face-up Defense Position. If this card is banished while you control a "Cosmic Guardian" monster, you can Special Summon this card. You can only Special Summon 1 "Cosmic Guardian, Mistress" this way per turn and only once that turn.

 

When this card is Summoned: You can target 1 monster your opponent controls; change it to face-up Defense Position. If you control a "Cosmic Guardian" monster: You can Special Summon this card (from your hand). You can only Special Summon 1 "Cosmic Guardian, Shaman" this way per turn and only once that turn.[/spoiler]

 

[spoiler='Spells']

The DEF of all face-up Defense Position monsters your opponent controls becomes 0. Once per turn: You can target 1 face-up Defense Position monster on the field; it cannot change it's battle position while this card is face-up on the field. You must control a face-up "Cosmic" monster in order to activate and resolve this effect.[/spoiler]

 

Thinking about making an Xyz if I can get a good image.

Added one.

 

[spoiler='Xyz']

You can also Xyz Summon this card by using a ""Cosmic Vanguard" monster you control as the Xyz Material, other than "Cosmic Vanguard, Helios Genesis" If you do, its effects cannot be activated this turn. Once per turn, during either player's turn: You can detach 1 Xyz Material from this card to target 1 monster on the field; destroy it if its DEF is 1000 or less, otherwise switch it to Defense Position.[/spoiler]

[Loyalist]

Updated OP.

[Toffee.]

You could probably bump the Xyz and Vortex up to 1000 or so DEF, for their effects.
Mostly, because at the moment they are heavily dependent on the field(I'm assuming it's a Field, despite the fact it's missing some kind of symbol for that). So if you at least give them a little more freedom, with regards to what they can hit, it makes them more playable.

[Loyalist]

You could probably bump the Xyz and Vortex up to 1000 or so DEF, for their effects.
Mostly, because at the moment they are heavily dependent on the field(I'm assuming it's a Field, despite the fact it's missing some kind of symbol for that). So if you at least give them a little more freedom, with regards to what they can hit, it makes them more playable.

It seems to not have come out properly when I copied the IMG code, I'll try again in a moment - It was a field.

I guess I would either get a way of searching the field easily or buff the DEF destruction effect. Did you spot any OCG errors or am I fine in that regard?

[Toffee.]

As long as the OCG isn't stuff like:

Sacrifice this card to kill an enemy monster and inflict damage of the monsters atk to enemy's LP

Then it's fine by me.

[Loyalist]

Oh ok then, thanks.

[Love of Ghibli]

Oh yay Abzo Dolba art.

Anywho the set seems simple. While so far it seems overtly spammy. If you have one cosmic monster on your field you can ss all of them. I would like to point out that "Shaman's" text references "Devourer" so I think there is a typo in there somewhere. 

 

I don't really understand Fortress. Its a Normal Spell meaning that it won't be on the field for any extended period of time.

[Sleepy]

Since you are interested in it, here's the OCG fixes for everthing.
There's nit-picking here, and a lot are the same mistakes repeated over and over, so it's not actually as many as it seems.
 
Also note: Stupid quoting system changes
 
 

Cannot be Normal Summoned/Set. You can Special Summon this card (from your hand) by banishing 1 "Cosmic" monster you control. When this card is Special Summoned: Destroy all face-up monsters on the field with 500 or less DEF.

A colon " : " is important after "When this card is Summoned"-like effects, unless you want it to be a continuous effect that doesn't start chains.

The dash is just a recommendation.
 
 
 

When this card is Summoned: You can target 1 monster your opponent controls; change it to face-up Defense Position. If this card is banished while you control a "Cosmic Guardian" monster, you can Special Summon this card. You can only Special Summon 1 "Cosmic Guardian, Mistress" this way per turn and only once that turn.

The comma is only a comma if that effect is continuous like Maestroke's.
The "while" is only "while" if you need to control a "Cosmic Guardian" when it's leaving the field. If you need to still control a "Cosmic Guardian" when it's coming back, instead of "while", the whole first part of that effect is When this card is banished, if you control a "Cosmic Guardian". If it requires a "Cosmic Guardian" to be there at the time of banishing AND the time of coming back, then you leave the "while", and add in parenthesis at the end (you need to control a "Cosmic Guardian" monster to activate and resolve this effect). In which case, you don't need to specify the need of a "Cosmic Guardian" outside of the parenthesis clause. Am I too confusing here?
 
 
 

When this card is Summoned: You can target 1 monster your opponent controls; change it to face-up Defense Position. If you control a "Cosmic Guardian" monster: You can Special Summon this card (from your hand). You can only Special Summon 1 "Cosmic Guardian, Devourer" this way per turn and only once that turn.

After targeting or paying costs, what goes there is a semi-colon " ; " and no capital afterwards. No exception. Although you are probably not using Problem-solving text so don't worry too much about this if you are not.
The word "monster" being capitalized is only really a thing for:
Effect Monster
Normal Monster
Ritual Monster
Fusion Monster
Synchro Monster
Xyz Monster
Otherwise it's something along the lines of:
"Elemental HERO" monster
LIGHT monster
Dragon-Type monster
Attack Position monster
Level 4 or lower monster
monster
etc.
I'm not sure on Flips though.
 
 
 

The DEF of all face-upDefense Position monsters your opponent controls becomes 0. Once per turn: You can target 1 face-up Defense Position monster on the field; it cannot change it's battle position while this card is face-up on the field. You must control a face-up "Cosmic" monster in order to activate and resolve this effect.

Ironically, "battle position" doesn't seem to be capitalized, according to Battle Pack's reprint of "Goblin Attack Force". Though trust me, Attack Position and Defense Position are.
 

 

2 Level 4 DARK monsters
You can also Xyz Summon this card by using a ""Cosmic Vanguard" monster you control as the Xyz Material, other than "Cosmic Vanguard, Helios Genesis" If you do, its effects cannot be activated this turn. Once per turn, during either player's turn: You can detach 1 Xyz Material from this card to target 1 monster on the field; if it's DEF is 500 or less, destroy it. If the targeted monster's DEF is more than 500, change it to Defense Position.

The commas are just grammar in general, not just Yugioh grammar.
The last effect could break out from the "by the rule" way of writing it and become shorter. I'd personally write it like this:
; destroy it if it's DEF is 500 or less, otherwise switch it to Defense Position.
Two reasons for that. 1: They are the resolution of the same effect, and if there's a way to put it together it'd be better. 2: I'm not putting it as an official correction because it's not official at all. Of course, the ideal would be to go for bullet points in that effect, but we all know how YCM doesn't have those.
 
 
 
 
 
Let's break away from OCG nazy mode now.
The first card is completely fine.
Card two is hilarious with Gold Sarcophagus and Interdimensional Matter Transporter.
The third card is hilarious. Though it makes me ask why the first one is not the same Level as the rest.
The Field Spell Card is kinda iffy noticing how you force opponent's into Defense Position waaaaay easy, and Naturia Fruit Fly now is a once per turn Brain Control with it. There's also that it'd probably be more safe if you excluded your archetype instead of all your monsters.
 
The Xyz could get away with generic materials instead of DARK, and a bit more ATK. It's not like 500 or less DEF is all that common for significant monsters.

[Loyalist]

Let's break away from OCG nazy mode now.

The first card is completely fine.
Card two is hilarious with Gold Sarcophagus and Interdimensional Matter Transporter.
The third card is hilarious. Though it makes me ask why the first one is not the same Level as the rest.
The Field Spell Card is kinda iffy noticing how you force opponent's into Defense Position waaaaay easy, and Naturia Fruit Fly now is a once per turn Brain Control with it. There's also that it'd probably be more safe if you excluded your archetype instead of all your monsters.
 
The Xyz could get away with generic materials instead of DARK, and a bit more ATK. It's not like 500 or less DEF is all that common for significant monsters.

Thanks for the OCG fixes. The first card is more of the 'trademark' card of the deck.

 

The archetype is sorted into two sub-archetypes: Guardians and Vanguards (Protectors and leaders). My main inspiration was the Galaxy and Photon cards.

 

I'll try to fix the field spell.

 

Oh yay Abzo Dolba art.

Anywho the set seems simple. While so far it seems overtly spammy. If you have one cosmic monster on your field you can ss all of them. I would like to point out that "Shaman's" text references "Devourer" so I think there is a typo in there somewhere. 

 

I don't really understand Fortress. Its a Normal Spell meaning that it won't be on the field for any extended period of time.

When I got the IMG code and pasted it it came out wrong, I will have to do it again.

 

The typo is because I originally named it Devourer but felt it didn't suit the Psychic type.

 

I was thinking about limiting the Special Summons a bit, although you can only summon 1 of each per turn. I know the cards a very powerful but (at least to me) don't seems like top tier material that can keep up with Geargia and Mermails.

Regardless I'll trust your judgement and thanks for reviewing.

[Loyalist]

UPDATED OP

 

Fixed OCG and changed both Vanguard's effects to destroy monsters with 1000 or less DEF rather than 500 or less. Still trying to think of ways to make the deck less spammy and more consistent instead. Might change one of the Cosmic Guardians into a searcher for the field instead of Special Summoning.