R.R.K. Lionheart

[DiabloMask]

Hi guys

This is one of my favorite creations...

I drew the picture myself with mspaint, even though it's as good

as I wanted it to be, but I think it's fine.

 

Btw (R.R.K.) means (Resurrected Royal Knight Lionheart)

 

 

The effect is:

When your opponent attacks, you can send this card from your hand to the graveyard to negate the attack. Once per turn while this card is in your graveyard, you can special summon it by offering 1 monster as a tribute, when this card is special summoned, you must offer 1 monster, if you do not, it is destroyed at the end phase. Once per turn, you can select 1 level 6 or lower monster on the field and negate its effect.

 

This is a better picture for the monster:

 

 

I hope you guys like it.

Tell me your thoughts about the effect and the design.

[Toffee.]

Cleaner version of it's effect:

If your opponent's monster declares an attack: You can discard this card; negate that attack(this is a Quick Effect). You can Tribute 2 monsters you control: Special Summon this card(from the Graveyard). You cannot Summon/Set other monsters during the turn this card was Summoned by this effect. Send this card to the Graveyard during the End Phase of a turn in which it was Summoned by this effect. Once per turn, you can Target 1 face-up Level 6 or lower monster on the field: It's effect(s) are negated until the End Phase

I know my version isn't perfect, but for the most part, I corrected a lot of your terminology, and also helped clean it up a bit. Mostly, because you had like 1-2 things mixed up.

That aside, it feels a little janky. Mostly because the impression your holding it back for some reason. This is partially do the fact it's gimmick outweighs a lot of it's playability. What I mean is, it's going to be a bit of an annoyance to play this, due to the fact most of your Summons n' junk would have to be from monsters like Mystic Tomato and/or cards like Scapegoat, as you can keep monsters out during the opponent's turn without having to actually Summon them during your own. Provided, of course, you wanted to play this through it's effect, to which, seems a little silly because you basically loose any and all means of playing monsters, for something that's going to wind up back in the Graveyard anyway.
I dunno', that's just my thoughts on it.

[DiabloMask]

 

Cleaner version of it's effect:
I know my version isn't perfect, but for the most part, I corrected a lot of your terminology, and also helped clean it up a bit. Mostly, because you had like 1-2 things mixed up.

That aside, it feels a little janky. Mostly because the impression your holding it back for some reason. This is partially do the fact it's gimmick outweighs a lot of it's playability. What I mean is, it's going to be a bit of an annoyance to play this, due to the fact most of your Summons n' junk would have to be from monsters like Mystic Tomato and/or cards like Scapegoat, as you can keep monsters out during the opponent's turn without having to actually Summon them during your own. Provided, of course, you wanted to play this through it's effect, to which, seems a little silly because you basically loose any and all means of playing monsters, for something that's going to wind up back in the Graveyard anyway.
I dunno', that's just my thoughts on it.

Thnx, you're actually good at criticizing, I totally agree with you, and your version actually helped me a lot, it was bothering me that the effect I wrote was too long.

 

You were right, I might have held back a little, but it's not because I don't know how to balance it, there's another reason for that.

 

When I designed this card, I wanted it to feel like an ace monster of a yugioh protagonist, you can notice that it has 2500 ATK and a different type than other protagonists' ace monsters, and is not overpowered.

You know that these ace monsters are not solo which you'd depend on without backup from other cards, that's why they're not easy to use.

 

 I was thinking of changing 2 parts in the effect:

The first part is "You cannot summon/set monsters during the turn this card was special summoned" i wanna delete it.

The second part "offer 2 monsters as a tribute" i was thinking of changing it to "destroy 2 monsters on your side of the field", this way even scapegoat can be used to special summon it, it'll still be destroyed at the end phase though.

What do you think? would it still be balanced?

 

Anyway, I'm still working on it, thnx for your help I really appreciate it.

Btw, do you have any complains about the design and art?

[Toffee.]

The second part "offer 2 monsters as a tribute" i was thinking of changing it to "destroy 2 monsters on your side of the field", this way even scapegoat can be used to special summon it-

Said Goat Tokens can't be used as Tributes for a Tribute summon.
Your card Tributes them for a Special Summon.
So changing 'Tribute' to 'Destroy' is redundant, unless of course you want to include weird combos.

[Oriannis]

I agree with Armadilloz in that this feels a bit of an inconvenience to play. I must also say that the background to the artwork does not do this card justice. I'm not sure how it could be improved so could someone help me with a recommendation?

[DiabloMask]

Said Goat Tokens can't be used as Tributes for a Tribute summon.
Your card Tributes them for a Special Summon.
So changing 'Tribute' to 'Destroy' is redundant, unless of course you want to include weird combos.

So how about it now? i edited the effect a little, i hope you like it this time :)

I agree with Armadilloz in that this feels a bit of an inconvenience to play. I must also say that the background to the artwork does not do this card justice. I'm not sure how it could be improved so could someone help me with a recommendation?

I edited both the effect and the background :) so what do you think?

[Oriannis]

So how about it now? i edited the effect a little, i hope you like it this time :)

I edited both the effect and the background :) so what do you think?

 

That looks better. :)

[I Hate Snatch Steal]

Wow you really know how to draw! Also you made that in MS paint no less! (If you want to, try paint.net, its free and has better features then MS paint)

 

 

Though its a little unclear, I'm assuming that you don't have to tribute a 2nd monster to revive lionheart but if you don't, it only stays out until the end phase. In that case, I could see this card being used to make rank 8 xyz monsters, since it won't be on the field during the End Phase if you do that, thus you could bring it out with 1 tribute and then get another level 8 monster somehow, maybe use gagaga magician for that. Being zombie type means access to zombie-type support, though off the top of my head I'm not sure what support would be best used with this card, if only zombies had their own foolish burial. Being DARK fixes that though, since they have both amageddon knight and dark grepher. Thus you don't have to wait to draw this card to start using it. Though if you did, it wouldn't be a dead draw thanks to its first effect.

[DiabloMask]

Wow you really know how to draw! Also you made that in MS paint no less! (If you want to, try paint.net, its free and has better features then MS paint)

 

 

Though its a little unclear, I'm assuming that you don't have to tribute a 2nd monster to revive lionheart but if you don't, it only stays out until the end phase. In that case, I could see this card being used to make rank 8 xyz monsters, since it won't be on the field during the End Phase if you do that, thus you could bring it out with 1 tribute and then get another level 8 monster somehow, maybe use gagaga magician for that. Being zombie type means access to zombie-type support, though off the top of my head I'm not sure what support would be best used with this card, if only zombies had their own foolish burial. Being DARK fixes that though, since they have both amageddon knight and dark grepher. Thus you don't have to wait to draw this card to start using it. Though if you did, it wouldn't be a dead draw thanks to its first effect.

Thnx ^^ well, the mspaint is not harder than other ways of drawing, it's just hard to get used to.

paint.net, never heard of it, but seems interesting, i'll give it a try :)

 

Well, you understood what i was trying to get to with this effect :) the main point of the effect is that even if it's not

a very strong monster, it can be useful in many different situations, and won't be a burden when you're stuck with

an empty field and depending on the next draw.

About having to tribute another monster, it's important to balance the effect, i actually wanted to make it 2 tributes

from the beginning, but 2500ATK is actually not worth it these days, it's about making a choice, whether you want

to use this card for 1 turn (like for xyz or synchro) or you're willing to sacrifice to have it for a longer time, it's a

level 8 monster after all, 1 tribute wouldn't be fair.

[DiabloMask]

That looks better. :)

Thnx :) it's because of the advice you guys gave me.

 

Btw no one noticed the huge mistake about the effect, i just added 1 part:

"Once per turn" before "while this card is in your graveyard..." can you guess why?

It's because if i didn't, it could be used the same way as "Manticore of Darkness" XD

lol, how comes i didn't notice that earlier?!