Just Crouton Posted April 30, 2014 Report Share Posted April 30, 2014 Source A team of archeologists and theologians has announced the landmark discovery of a gateway to Hell directly beneath a World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) ring. The exact location of Hell’s gaping maw was confirmed Monday night when a demon — said to be the Devil’s favorite — clawed its way through the canvas of the WWE ring in an attempt to abduct WWE Diva Brie Bella. Witnesses in St. Louis, MO, reported the strong odor of sulfur and scorched flesh emanating from the gateway, although many residents insist St. Louis always smells like that. The agonized cries of tortured souls doomed to eternal damnation could be heard as well, but skeptics attribute this phenomenon to the the fans who had just learned that there will be a “WeeLC Match” between Hornswoggle and El Torito at the Extreme Rules pay-per-view. The archeologists report that Hell is populated by the souls of the wicked, as well as flimsy garbage cans, kendo sticks, a sledgehammer, and a cooler full of light beer. The escaped demon, known as Kane (or, occasionally, Isaac), narrowly failed to abduct Bella, much to the chagrin of most fans, who believe Bella should burn in Hell for turning Daniel Bryan into a bit of a pansy. After several minutes of panic and mayhem, the gateway to Hell became sealed during a commercial break — a phenomenon some called a “miracle” and others attributed to “the work of a great ring crew." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
宇佐見 蓮子@C94 Posted April 30, 2014 Report Share Posted April 30, 2014 One of the funniest Kayfabe News article I've read yet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agro Posted April 30, 2014 Report Share Posted April 30, 2014 Shit, I was always bad at hiding things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AGATHODAIMON BANGTAIL COW Posted April 30, 2014 Report Share Posted April 30, 2014 It's about time they found this. I mean, I found out that Hell is really in Norway a few years back myself, but this passage to it may come in handy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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