hypebeast Posted April 30, 2014 Report Share Posted April 30, 2014 If u like a girl, go for her as soon as you can. if u dont, you will eventualy build up like more pressure on urself with time and you will feel more and more insecure. been there done that. discuss girl advice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zauls Posted April 30, 2014 Report Share Posted April 30, 2014 By contrast, if you are serious about things, you need to get to know a girl before deciding whether or not you "like" her. Basing it solely on looks is a big mistake. Just be friendly with her and get to know her, then when the time is right and if you are getting along, then ask her out or something. Don't wait so long that it becomes too long-drawn because she might lose interest or find another guy and you could end up in the friendzone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hypebeast Posted April 30, 2014 Author Report Share Posted April 30, 2014 By contrast, if you are serious about things, you need to get to know a girl before deciding whether or not you "like" her. Basing it solely on looks is a big mistake. Just be friendly with her and get to know her, then when the time is right and if you are getting along, then ask her out or something. Don't wait so long that it becomes too long-drawn because she might lose interest or find another guy and you could end up in the friendzone. the way we do it is we treat every girl like affectionately, look them in the eyes, smile a lot, ask them about themselves unless theyre like your actual friends. like, this way it wont be awkward when u introduce urself to her as a super friendly guy and then one day u wanna get in her pants. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zauls Posted April 30, 2014 Report Share Posted April 30, 2014 the way we do it is we treat every girl like affectionately, look them in the eyes, smile a lot, ask them about themselves unless theyre like your actual friends. like, this way it wont be awkward when u introduce urself to her as a super friendly guy and then one day u wanna get in her pants. I think we are fundamentally different in that sense. I want a relationship for companionship, friendship and intimacy rather than to simply "get in her pants". If that's all I wanted, I would just get hookers... Sure, sex enhances relationships, brings couples emotionally closer and is the fundamental purpose of the existence of relationships biologically and for the continuation of the species, but it doesn't make relationships and shouldn't be the sole purpose of getting into a relationship. Other than that I agree with you. Just be yourself and be friendly. Its a lot easier than people think. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Murphy ☆ Posted April 30, 2014 Report Share Posted April 30, 2014 Murphy sees a girl he likes. Murphy brings her to the cult. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zauls Posted April 30, 2014 Report Share Posted April 30, 2014 Murphy sees a girl he likes. Murphy brings her to the cult. This is the most helpful, intelligent and insightful comment I have ever seen in this section. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Murphy ☆ Posted April 30, 2014 Report Share Posted April 30, 2014 It really depends on what you mean by "go after her as soon as you can". Do I already know this girl and I'm just now realizing I like her? Or am I just meeting her? Because its awkward to just jump in a girls life and be her boyfriend... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LordCowCowCowCowCowCowCowCow Posted April 30, 2014 Report Share Posted April 30, 2014 I would like to add to the idea of going for the girl soon as you can and not building up pressure and insecurities. Do NOT feel bad if it doesn't work. Sometimes it just doesn't work out, doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. And don't think just because you're nice and go for the girl it's going to work. I don't mean be negative, but just don't get down on yourself or get upset if it doesn't work. That's the worst thing you could do. Especially if it's a person you'd like to keep as a friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flash Flyer - Sakura Posted May 1, 2014 Report Share Posted May 1, 2014 I'm more on the lines of Saberzauls's argument. While it is important to get a girl quickly before someone else takes her, you'll need to know her first BEFORE starting to take things to the next level (dating and eventually becoming your significant other). If you want someone who you can confide in and develop a strong bond with, then get to know them over time. This isn't something that'll be done in seconds. You should be able to determine the proper time between meeting a girl and being acquaintances/friends to the dating part. This gives you time to consider "Is this a person who I want to spend my life with?" or if you two are better off as (close) friends. Sex or looks isn't the only reason people get together; if that were my goal, I'd just go to a strip club or something and hook up with a girl. Mind you, I'm not of legal age to be even going there, so not elaborating further on this. Then again, our ideas of getting female companionship will differ in some way, but we'll leave it at that. The same logic could be applied for girls trying to get the man of their dreams. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LordCowCowCowCowCowCowCowCow Posted May 1, 2014 Report Share Posted May 1, 2014 Oh wow...Honestly I didn't even think about that part. I kinda just assumed that if someone were trying to date a girl or guy that they had gotten to know them really well. Totally slipped my mind somehow that that's not always the case. Yeah, very good advice, seriously. Don't date someone you wouldn't want to stay with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Posted May 1, 2014 Report Share Posted May 1, 2014 By contrast, if you are serious about things, you need to get to know a girl before deciding whether or not you "like" her. Basing it solely on looks is a big mistake. Just be friendly with her and get to know her, then when the time is right and if you are getting along, then ask her out or something. Don't wait so long that it becomes too long-drawn because she might lose interest or find another guy and you could end up in the friendzone. I'm more on the lines of Saberzauls's argument. While it is important to get a girl quickly before someone else takes her, you'll need to know her first BEFORE starting to take things to the next level (dating and eventually becoming your significant other). If you want someone who you can confide in and develop a strong bond with, then get to know them over time. This isn't something that'll be done in seconds. You should be able to determine the proper time between meeting a girl and being acquaintances/friends to the dating part. This gives you time to consider "Is this a person who I want to spend my life with?" or if you two are better off as (close) friends. I legitimately don't see the logic in your statements. Do you even understand the basic fundamental reason for dating? It's literally to get to know the person. By dating, you become acquainted with them on an intimate and personal level, something that isn't possible in a friendship. You make it seem as if you have to spend months getting to know a person prior to even hinting at the plausibility of an intimate relationship. The fact of the matter is; most people decide whether or not they're interested in you after the first impression. Yes it's primarily based on looks and yes it's quite shallow but that's just how the real world works. This is essentially what dating is for, to validate said initial feelings and see what else there is to the person besides their looks. If you find someone that you like, showcase your feelings. Don't waste your time "trying to get to know them," because again, that's what dating is for. They've most likely already decided whether or not they're interested in you. After you tell them you're interested, either thing could happen; It's reciprocated, great, you can now begin dating and see whether or not you'd want to be in a committed relationship with this person. Or it isn't reciprocated, even fucking better, because guess what? You just saved yourself months of "getting to know" someone who isn't even interested in you. Not to say that committed relationships cannot stem from existing friendships, they absolutely can, however I'm just speaking from personal experience on what has worked best for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zauls Posted May 1, 2014 Report Share Posted May 1, 2014 I legitimately don't see the logic in your statements. Do you even understand the basic fundamental reason for dating? It's literally to get to know the person. By dating, you become acquainted with them on an intimate and personal level, something that isn't possible in a friendship. How is it not? From what I understand, dating someone and being friends with someone that you are attracted to/interested in are not really that different. Friends go out places and do stuff together. Dating is the same. It just depends what you call it. I have developed a very close relationship with a friend literally just by being their friend. We've never been on a date, but we would be together if it weren't for the circumstances. I would say we were fairly intimate and personal with each other. I'm not saying you need to spend months getting to know someone, but you need to know them well enough so that asking them on a date or something wouldn't be considered weird or creepy. If I asked some girl in my school that I hardly even knew on a date, I highly doubt it would go well. That's just one example. You are correct in saying that the initial interest is generally sparked by looks. I started talking to my friend because she looked nice. However I wouldn't exactly start dating her straight away would I? At least a few conversations would have to have happened for me to even consider asking her on a date. If I tell a girl I like and I am interested in her if I hardly even know her, she will probably say something like "but we hardly know each other" or something. She may even lose interest because all you have to base your feelings on is looks, and she may think you are a shallow person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Posted May 1, 2014 Report Share Posted May 1, 2014 How is it not? From what I understand, dating someone and being friends with someone that you are attracted to/interested in are not really that different. Friends go out places and do stuff together. Dating is the same. It just depends what you call it. I have developed a very close relationship with a friend literally just by being their friend. We've never been on a date, but we would be together if it weren't for the circumstances. I would say we were fairly intimate and personal with each other. I'm not saying you need to spend months getting to know someone, but you need to know them well enough so that asking them on a date or something wouldn't be considered weird or creepy. If I asked some girl in my school that I hardly even knew on a date, I highly doubt it would go well. That's just one example. You are correct in saying that the initial interest is generally sparked by looks. I started talking to my friend because she looked nice. However I wouldn't exactly start dating her straight away would I? At least a few conversations would have to have happened for me to even consider asking her on a date. If I tell a girl I like and I am interested in her if I hardly even know her, she will probably say something like "but we hardly know each other" or something. She may even lose interest because all you have to base your feelings on is looks, and she may think you are a shallow person. Your logic only adheres to highschool relationships, you should probably preface it as such. Highschool works differently from the real world in that you see all of these people every single day, so you're basically going to get to know them regardless. You have time to actually get to know people. Outside of school, the only reoccurring people in your life are your close group of friends, which of whom you already know and your co-workers. Your selection goes from being the 150+ females you see every single day in class to literally just random people on the street and friends of friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zauls Posted May 1, 2014 Report Share Posted May 1, 2014 My logic comes from experience and I have never been in a high school relationship. Going up to and talking to a random girl in the street will NEVER work. They will just think you're creepy and they probably have other things to do than wait around talking to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lunar Origins Posted May 1, 2014 Report Share Posted May 1, 2014 TL:DR get dat booty asap. But seriously. My idea is that you should probably get to know them, but not too much, and as soon as you get the signal that they kinda like you... ask them out on a date! This doesn't have to be serious, but it has to be a little more than casual. Something could definitely come from that. This applies to both dudes and chicks; in the aspect of romance and stuff, and dating and the like, I don't see a huge difference in the two genders. Oh, and don't be a clinger. Clingers are bad and creepy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Madsen Posted May 1, 2014 Report Share Posted May 1, 2014 Going up to and talking to a random girl in the street will NEVER work. No one ever said it would. That's not a point anyone made. Fact of the matter is that as you move out of an environment like a school where you have regular contact with loads of girls every day relationships get harder. The argument being made here is that, as you have less contact with people whom you've had conversations with for months on years, relying on shallowness is what allows you to find a girl to date. Obviously not going up to random people in the street saying hey ur purdy, that's just plain wrong, but since the pool of people you can make a move on decreases you have to cherry-pick your chances. And since physical attractiveness is already an important aspect of a relationship, you might as well start there. Only thing you can get out of the way without having a conversation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greiga Posted May 1, 2014 Report Share Posted May 1, 2014 TIL I don't actually know my internet friends on a personal level because we don't date. Or is that the same as the high school thing of seeing them every day? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Posted May 1, 2014 Report Share Posted May 1, 2014 TIL I don't actually know my internet friends on a personal level because we don't date. Or is that the same as the high school thing of seeing them every day? Can't tell if shitty joke or if you actually misinterpreted that so horrendously. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greiga Posted May 1, 2014 Report Share Posted May 1, 2014 Can't tell if shitty joke or if you actually misinterpreted that so horrendously. I took it literally. I read the other stuff in your post after this and I agree with that though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hypebeast Posted May 1, 2014 Author Report Share Posted May 1, 2014 I'm more on the lines of Saberzauls's argument. While it is important to get a girl quickly before someone else takes her, you'll need to know her first BEFORE starting to take things to the next level (dating and eventually becoming your significant other). If you want someone who you can confide in and develop a strong bond with, then get to know them over time. This isn't something that'll be done in seconds. You should be able to determine the proper time between meeting a girl and being acquaintances/friends to the dating part. This gives you time to consider "Is this a person who I want to spend my life with?" or if you two are better off as (close) friends. Sex or looks isn't the only reason people get together; if that were my goal, I'd just go to a strip club or something and hook up with a girl. Mind you, I'm not of legal age to be even going there, so not elaborating further on this. u guys dont see it the way i do. its like you have in ur mind that the girl you pick to be ur gf is going to be the girl u marry, like shes gotta be realy special to you and you would never leave her. its funny cause youre probably gonna get ur heart broken eventually. why not just go out with a girl, if she likes u ur making her happy anyway; ur also making urself happier cause hey u got a gf, and youre probably making everyone else jealous lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zauls Posted May 1, 2014 Report Share Posted May 1, 2014 u guys dont see it the way i do. its like you have in ur mind that the girl you pick to be ur gf is going to be the girl u marry, like shes gotta be realy special to you and you would never leave her. its funny cause youre probably gonna get ur heart broken eventually. why not just go out with a girl, if she likes u ur making her happy anyway; ur also making urself happier cause hey u got a gf, and youre probably making everyone else jealous lol. I find relationships to be unfulfilling and pointless if you know that they are going to end at some point. It kinda ruins it for me knowing that's its not really "supposed to be". I wouldn't go out with a girl knowing that I would leave her eventually. I would only be with a girl if she was special to me. I've made the mistake of "just going out with a girl" and it ended up terribly and wasn't that great any of the time. I won't go into the details of it... Also wanting to make people jealous is just petty and distasteful. Not saying this is what everyone should do but I personally like taking relationships seriously. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hypebeast Posted May 1, 2014 Author Report Share Posted May 1, 2014 I find relationships to be unfulfilling and pointless if you know that they are going to end at some point. It kinda ruins it for me knowing that's its not really "supposed to be". I wouldn't go out with a girl knowing that I would leave her eventually. I would only be with a girl if she was special to me. I've made the mistake of "just going out with a girl" and it ended up terribly and wasn't that great any of the time. I won't go into the details of it... Also wanting to make people jealous is just petty and distasteful. Not saying this is what everyone should do but I personally like taking relationships seriously. living in a disney movie... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zauls Posted May 1, 2014 Report Share Posted May 1, 2014 living in a disney movie... Hmmm.... You could say that. You could also say that I don't choose to do things the conventional way. This applies to pretty much everything with me, not only relationships. You could also say that I (and I admit it) am a highly emotional person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simping For Hina Posted May 1, 2014 Report Share Posted May 1, 2014 Just because you're highly emotion doesn't mean anything to the fact that you're only relying on your emotions to fuel your desire or trust in relationships. Yeah, I would love my life to be a Disney movie where I can just fall in love and live happily ever after. You can't suspect for a relationship to the mean the world for you before anything that actually happens. Relationships come and go, and that is how it works. Sure, you should go into a relationship without thinking it is going to end, but you shouldn't think about a relationship like you're going to marry the person until it is serious enough. You should go into a relationship wanting to get to know a person because that is what a relationship is meant to be. You're just naive if you think that relationships are built upon already knowing the person. Yes, you can date a friend, but the intimacy of the relationship will be more than a friendship can offer. And you'll learn more about the person while you date them than you would as a friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LordCowCowCowCowCowCowCowCow Posted May 1, 2014 Report Share Posted May 1, 2014 I think another point that needs to be said is the difference between "dating" and "going on a date". You can go on a date with people you don't know very well, but you shouldn't start dating them until you've gotten to know them at least a little I think. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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