Yu-Gi-Oh! Exiles [OOC|PG-16|Started|Accepting]

[Aqua Girl]

I will try and refrain from making the same mistake and thanks for the help any idea what went wrong with the spoilers?

[Lunar Origins]

[spoiler= Shoko]

 

"I want the children to have the world I make..... IF THEY CAN TAKE IT FROM MY COLD DEAD HANDS!"
 

Name: Shoku Enzimori
Gender: F
Age: 39
Height: 5'6

Physical description:
[spoiler= Shoku][/spoiler]

[spoiler= Shoku Mad][/spoiler]

[spoiler= personality]

(I hope this is an acceptable and original take on a characters personality traits.)

 Save for the eye-patch covering her right eye, Shoko on the outside looks completely normal. To those she is unequaled with she seems like a very mature and kind, all most nurturing. Shoko loves to see strong youth, its her greatest wish to see them inherit the world she intends to create. She often voices this fact verbally and often times unintentionally. On the other hand the people that she is well acquainted with know her real side.

 

 Shoko for a lack of better words, as such not many can describe this woman. Is a MONSTER. The ironic thing is as she states how she would like the youth to take over the world she creates, on the inside as she smiles. Shoko is thinking to her self, "Only if they take it from my cold dead HANDS!" Despite this her words are not false she wants a world for children to not have to grow up in a world like her own.

 

  In all actuality Shoko is ruthless, she will quite literally or figuratively cut some one down. Witch ever makes more of an impact/Gives her the best results. Despite her willing to cut down anything to get to the perfect world she wants Shoko is not by any means a stupid brute. She can... no Is conniving, meticulous, intelligent and a great strategist. Her ruthless nature has earned Shoko the respect and fear of the other warlords. One thing is to be known. Shoko is not to be crossed. During Shoko's visit for the event, all CONSNT staff are to not cross her and give her what she wants.

  But to fully understand Shoko Enzimori you have to know her history.[/spoiler]

 

[spoiler= Back Story]

 Shoko was a very smart child, at the age of 10 she was to attend high school early. Her parents were prominent scientists and they were working on some secret project. This was something Shoko had intended to investigate when she made her Ideal world but as that has not happened yet she put that plan on hold. Shoko was in a city far enough from the blast people did not just die from exposure when the catastrophe hit, when it did it brought the young girls world down around her, both figuratively and literally.

 

 It was just Shoko and her mother, her father was at the his lab when this happened Shoko assumed he died since he was so much closer to the Event tan them. Her mother heard from a few survivors that they had met up with of a continent that had been untouched by the disaster and so the group moved on towards the Eden in this hell. Shoko and her mother were very close before the event but that changed and s time went on the young girl felt like her mother saw her as a threat. They had food shortages constantly and her mother would eat most of Shoko's rations claiming she was younger and did not need as much. The world had changed people like this all over, but Shoko began to resent her mother. After the food stealing went on eventually Shoko attacked her mother to prevent her from stealing her food. People exclaimed, "So this is our world? Mother and daughter fighting for food..."

 

 Shoko grew up in this hell and after four years of traveling people and Shoko began to give up hope. They began to rummage through a abandoned city for supplies one day. Buildings were crumbling around the young girl and the pack of survivors. In what Shoko now assumes was a last ditch attempt to redeem herself, Shoko's mother pushed Shoko out of danger but the building crumbled around them killing all but a few of the survivors, the previous leader now dead Shoko Took up the mantle and told the others their previous goal was faulty and they should try and survive here. Despite it being abandoned and how young she was, Shoko succeeded, their little village sprung up fast, They had access to water and a place to sleep. with the few gardening and home improvement stores they were able to grow food and eventually they began to get cozy.

 

 Flash forward about ten years the city is booming once again. They have people working on projects to make the city better they managed to get an agricultural engineer to improve their crops a few years back, they had trade from other survivor camps, all was good. They had strong walls and makeshift weapons. Shoko had found a real forged Damascus steel katana and that was her weapon that she trained with for many years. That's when the monsters appeared. Suddenly they were under siege by monsters every night, When the walls began to give some odd miracle happened. It was a man in a bright uniform, he jumped off of a motor bike of some kind, and with a brilliant flash he brought out a creature of his own, This creature had armor of crimson read and they fought in perfect unison.

 

 This man was out numbered and despite how strong he was and how the people regarded him as a savior, Shoko could see he and his creature were being overwhelmed, The Man was stabbed in the side but with brilliant movement. he slew the last of them. The man looked back to the people and gave a thumbs up to show all was well. When suddenly another more powerful creature appeared (Dark Highlander). With a single attack the creature took a chunk out of the mans side. The crimson creature roared at its partners damage and struck out at the dark armored creature. Locked blades sparked as the vi lagers watched but one did not, Shoko. as she saw the creature strike down the man she jumped forward and bolted over the tall walls. As the crimson armored creature held off the monster she with three very fast and brilliantly bright slashes cut the things leg and arms off leaving the thing open to be cut in two by the crimson figure.

 

 The man with the last of his life told Shoko who he was, and realising her potential asked that she take his Combat Disk and keep the people safe in his stead. He turned to the crimson creature and said, "Shi-En go with her keep our dream alive...." The man then passed, the previously silent creature fell to his knees and roared, "Kyuzen!!!!!!!"

 

 Eventually Shoko was approached by CONSNT and asked for Ryuzen's body but Shoko had long since given him a burial. They through much communication and deals that some how ended more in Shoko's favor, were able to make a treaty with one of the most powerful and definitely most feared Warlord's of the Wastes.[/spoiler]

Faction: Independent

 

[spoiler= Card Pool]
Kagemusha of the Six Samurai x1

Legendary Six Samurai Kageki x1

Grandmaster of the Six Samurai x1

Six Samurai - Yaichi x1

Six Samurai - Kamon x1

Hand of the Six Samurai x1

Enishi, Shien's Chancellor x1

Shien's Squire x2

Legendary Ebon Steed x2

Six Strike Triple Impact x2

Smashing Ground x1

MST x2

Musakani Magatama x2[/spoiler]

 

(If owner of Bound Exile Card) Exile: Legendary Six Samurai - Shi-En
 

Misc. info/fun facts:

 

[spoiler= Reg theme]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7M3DmAaUMjE&list=PLCF1D68300FF8A53B&index=9[/spoiler]

[spoiler= Battle Theme]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GJtdagM3Ues[/spoiler]

[/spoiler]

[spoiler=Shi-En]

"Optional Quote from your character here"
 
Name: Shi-EN
Age:
Gender: Male
Card: Lgendary Six Samurai Shi-En
Exile Class: Bound
Owner of card: Shoko Enzimori
Faction: Independent
Physical Description: The same.
 
[spoiler=Personality]
Shi-En was very abrasive to everyone. Now hes abrasive to everybody but Shoko.
 
  Originally Shi-En was very lighthearted and dreamed of making a perfect world with Kyuzen Shi-En's first partner. His heart was of the noble lord he was once in the spirit world. When he met Kyuzen, Shi-En found a kinship with this human he had not expected. They became close friends fighting alongside each other. Eventually they taught others to fight along side an exile.
 
  The day Kyuzen died was the hardest moment in Shi-En's life. He became emotionally blocked off, then when he did slip and let out all his emotions he would explode and let out his pent up anger on what he fought. When he learned that Shoko had the same goals as Kyuzen. The hatred and walls he put up came crumbling down, Shi-En began to let Shoko in. Though his feelings towards others was still very, abrasive at best.[/spoiler]
 
[spoiler=Back Story]
 Initially Shi-En and Shoko had a rough time adapting to one another, they had Issues with communication and Shoko's inexperience and Shi-En's grieving made their synchronization low. Shi-En kept blocked off emotionally and that allowed them little contact. Eventually when fighting off monsters Shoko was wounded this sent Shi-En in to a rage, and slaughtered the creature that should have been much stronger than him. As he stayed by Shoko's side Shi-En listened to how Shoko had an Ideal world, a world where children would never have to suffer as she did.

 With those words Shi-En wept. Shoko had the same dream as Kyuzen. From then on Shi-En and Shoko began to bond like Shi-En had once with Kyuzen. He trained her in how to properly use her weapon and as they finally began to synch up and became a formidable team.[/spoiler]
 
Exile Ability: Mist of Maekumo (Always active.)
 
 Mist of Maekumo is a simple but powerful ability.  When there is another Six Samurai Monster in play all damage that would be done to Shi-En is halved. Respectively if a spell/trap would affect Shi-En or if he would be attacked he can sacrifice one Six Samurai Monster to negate the card or effect.

Misc. info/fun facts:[/spoiler]

 

I can tell you spent a fair bit of time writing these applications, so here is my review.

 

[spoiler=Aqua Girl's Review]

 

Shoko

If I read this correctly, Shoko truly feels like a dual-personality type of character;  personally, I don't like this unless I know that the person writing it is sensible enough to pull it off - and that's in fiction.  Being able to pull off Shoko's highly dominant and violent albeit motherly personality is something that seems incredibly difficult to pull off.  In all honesty, I wouldn't think that this type of character would be good for the roleplay;  something of that caliber seems apt to steal the spotlight from everyone else and take dominance over the roleplay, which, to be quite honest, is something that sucks and will steal the fun from everyone else - gamemasters included.  It's something we don't want to deal with.

 

Coming to another part of your application, specifically this part.

 

"...all CONSNT staff are to not cross her and give her what she wants."

 

That's one of the things I am talking about, and it's the prime part of the application that just will not fly.  We're all for different types of characters; diversity is great and all, but there isn't a single character CONSNT would ever do this to.  Yes, I'm saying that your character must bow down to to the greater law.  No, I'm not saying you can't be a rogue warlord, but if you expect CONSNT to give into your character's demands, then you are dead wrong.  Keep in mind that if you do decide to change to a rogue warlord and still disregard the rules and regulations of CONSNT for the tournament, your character will be detained and put into custody - honestly another plot point we really don't need, all things considered.  The same thing goes for end of her biography.  Change this, or your application will not be accepted.

 

Another thing I see is that your overbearing character... just up and started a city.  While not impossible, the manpower and will to do this aren't completely down to one person; that's a story of its own, and yet another plot point we can't handle in the roleplay.  Also, check your timeline - Shoko is 39 years old; she would have been 9 years old at the arrival of the beast, unlike in your application where it says she was already 10 at the time.  Now, this is a minor mistake, but it does show a lack of eye for detail.  Please reread the original post and the database when you rewrite and correct your application.

 

Zai will be the one to review your cardpool.

 

Shi-En

To be perfectly honest, I am fairly okay with Shi-En.  However, his personality and backstory are very simple;  perhaps you can flesh out a bit on either of them?  I'm fairly sure that the personality is too short, anyways.  

 

The one problem with him is his Exile ability, which grants near invincibility while you control another Six Samurai monster.  From what I read, he can negate any Spell/Trap card effect, attack, and takes halve damage from every attack?  Christ!  Pick one or the other;  your monster simply can't be immune to everything.  He has to have some kind of weakness. Please change this Exile ability.

 

[/spoiler]

 

In summary:  Your application has been denied.  Shoko's character just seems very off and feels like it will be way too plot dominant, which is something we don't need.  Shi-En's Exile ability is far too overpowered.  I'm usually not a stickler for grammar but I will ask you to run your writing through a spell and grammar check before submitting it;  I know, mistakes happen to the best of us, but it's nice to have that sort of safety net.  My decision is final.  Arguments against this judgment are not to be had in this thread.  If you dispute a point that I have made in this thread, you will be barred from entry.  If you would like to dispute a point that I, or Zai, has made, then private message us.  This is for the sake of the thread, and to create a cleaner environment.

 

Thank you.

[Super Chaos Sonic]

Well finally finished it...hopefully its good enough ^^;
 
EDIT: Also...idk what is wrong with the friggin' spoilers >_>
 
[spoiler=Haruto Kurenai]
"Time for some action! Dian, let's go! Mask Change! HENSHIN!"
Name: Haruto Kurenai
Gender: Male
Age: 20
Height: 5'9"
[spoiler=Physical description]

Haruto has a slim body frame, which is great for the active young man. Because of his activeness, Haruto is able to move quick when he needs to. The young man is always seeming like a tidy person, with not a single hair out of place (even if its never combed, dude really loves his bed-head look). Haruto most often times will wear a pair of dark blue denim jeans, a black belt around his waist and usually wearing the dark orange/light brown and grey shirt seen above. The armbands/bracelets were given to him by his father and he continues to wear them on his left wrist, even in the midst of a duel. He has in his possession a Duel Disk which resembles a very old Duel Academia model, that he's made custom to him, by painting it with black trims.[/spoiler]
[spoiler=Personality]A duelist with a very strong sense of justice and willing to always do his best to protect his friends. ...OK scratch most of that. Haruto is indeed a very kind-hearted person and prefers not to harm any of his friends, but the hero act he tries to put up...it seriously needs working. He is easily intimidated by those who are bigger and stronger than he is (a trait Dian is doing his damn well best to adjust). However, if it wasn't for Dian at all, Haruto would most likely just try his best not to be involved in most situations. Haruto does his best to surround him with friends that will support and back him up, in his hopes that they'll become the driving force to make him less intimidated. The intimidated attitude and trait, however, spills over through his Combat Duels/Dueling as well, however its a bit worse. However, with Dian with him to show him the path, he's slowly grown (somewhat) accustom to the battles that are Combat Duels/Dueling. Basically everything that Haruto does in some way or fashion revolves around his Exile partner, as its his strength and ability to move forward.[/spoiler]
Faction: Independent
[spoiler=Backstory]Haruto grew up in the northern end of Ophia, where a series of Exiles (not Rogue but more on the lines of just bad) and gangs are seen causing trouble (not of the deadly kind, but more of the thefts and petty arson). Here, Haruto learned how the world seemed to look so evil in his eyes...especially the night his mother died. It was just a petty arson fire...so the Exiles and gangs thought...but it was Haruto's home and his dad did his best to save him and his mother...but his mother was left inside the burning building. At her funeral, Haruto promised at his mother's grave that he'd try to protect others in a way she would've wanted him to. And that's when he met Dian.
 
Dian appeared to Haruto during the funeral, as he paid his respects to the Kurenai woman, the woman who also helped him out one day before. "She wanted to save people...and summoned me. She got them to safety...and I protected them. I've been ready by her side since." Dian also spoke and mentioned the reason he could not save her that night...was that she had already passed the card down to another: Haruto. The deck he was given the morning before did indeed have Masked HERO Dian there. It was this day as well, that he asked Dian to help him with trying to what his mother did and help to protect some of the other citizen's lives from these bad Exiles and the gangs. He agreed as the two began to do their best to protect those living in northern Ophia.[/spoiler]
[spoiler=Card Pool]E-HERO Woodsman
2x E-HERO Ocean

2x Form Change
2x Mask Change
2x Mystical Space Typhoon
Bottomless Trap Hole
Dark Bribe
2x Negate Attack
2x Mirror Force
M-HERO Acid

M-HERO Vapor

M-HERO Goka[/spoiler]
Exile: Dian Lowell (AKA: Masked HERO Dian)
Misc. info/fun facts:
Haruto's Theme | Battle Theme

• Haruto Kurenai's name is derived from two separate Kamen Rider main characters: - Haruto from Kamen Rider Wizard (Haruto Soma), Kurenai - from Kamen Rider Kiva (Wataru Kurenai).
• Haruto's overall appearance stems from another Kamen Rider main character: Eiji Hino from Kamen Rider OOO.

[/spoiler]
 
[spoiler=Dian Lowell]
"The time has come to return justice to this world!"
Name: Dian Lowell
Age: Unsure (Only speculating to be 24)
Gender: Male
Card: Masked HERO Dian
Exile Class: Bound
Owner of card: Haruto Kurenai
Faction: Independent
[spoiler=Physical Description]

Same as above, however his sword/lance is sheathed and resting on his left hip, along with his armor and cape having a few cuts and scratches on them.[/spoiler]
[spoiler=Personality]Dian is a noble hero and warrior on Earth and in the spirit world, as he is willing to lay down his life for his friends and comrades. Now if he could only get his partner Haruto to have almost the exact same attitude. He is a very patient warrior, though it runs out most of the time when he is constantly being thrown into helping Haruto learn what it takes to become a real hero, however he has begun to regret this job, as its being needed too often. Not only is Dian acting as a mentor/friend to Haruto, but he is also acting like the sole guardian of his chosen Duelist, as he was instructed to do so long ago. Dian is a nobleman at heart, always holding his tongue and never speaking ill about anyone, whether friend, foe, or rivals, he treats them all with a very strong respect. He is an easy Exile to get along with, so long as you don't talk down to either Haruto or Haruto's allies. If this happens, you better be on guard from this hero's strike...however this rarely happens so it's not too often shown to anyone.[/spoiler]
[spoiler=Backstory]Dian was found by Haruto's mother, but was never called upon until that fateful day she helped save a bunch of a people with his help. Since then and even before, he and her shared a strong bond between each other (as most Duelists and cards do). When it came time for Haruto get his own deck, Dian was put into his deck, almost as if his mother was telling Dian to watch over her son no matter what.[/spoiler]
[spoiler=Exile Ability]
Heroes Never Die
Dian's ability, Heroes Never Die, allows him to call forth his fallen HERO comrades into battle as spirits (these fallen HEROs are either from the monsters that have been sent to the graveyard, or fallen Exiles that have walked the path before them). Depending on the amount of HERO spirits that are called forth, decides on how strong Dian shall become with their combined power and teamwork:

• One - Two: When one or two HERO comrade spirits are summoned forth, Dian tells them to destroy two of the in play Spells/Traps.
• Three: When three are summoned forth, the opposing Exile monster becomes slow in attacking, this allowing Dian the upper hand in attacking swiftly.
• Four: When four HERO spirits are summoned forth, Dian's power raises as the spirits are called to his blade, allowing to attack the Exile with an attack that is quite literally one that deals four times the damage.

[/spoiler]Misc. info/fun facts:
Dian's Theme | Battle Theme

• Masked HERO Dian is one of the few Exiles that have decided to keep some form of his original name (only adding Lowell on a whim, as it was the first name he heard on his appearance on the Earth). [/spoiler]

[Mugendramon]

fixed your spoilers for ya

[BANZAI!!!!]

fixed your spoilers for ya

not quite, from the looks of things on my end.

 

I'll get a review of this one done tonight most likely, if im conscious enough after work.

 

Planning on putting up the IC this weekend or next week. We've had this OOC running long enough. Try and have your apps in ASAP if you haven't gotten them accepted yet.

[Mugendramon]

[spoiler="Jules & The Crispy Crew"][spoiler=Julius]

"Huh? Sorry. I wasn't paying attention."
 Name: Julius "Jules" Cohen
Gender: ♂
Age: 66
Height: 5'6''
[spoiler=Physical description]

Julius's attire is as depicted above except during field operations, however rare, in which he he wears a fireproof jumpsuit.[/spoiler][spoiler=Personality]
A weary veteran of a disaster-wrought and war-torn world, Julius is always willing to show a warm smile to any seeking help or comfort. To his eyes, humans should not suffer for something they did not bring to themselves. His thought does occasionally turn to Duel Monsters, and how they allegedly are manmade inventions... and eventually come back to himself as he snaps from daydream. The first years of drifting and later role as a leading figure in CONSNT have taught him better than to lower his guard, however. While he may care for all, he trusts but himself. His two exiles act as both a reassuring presence and an ever-present proof that humanity is, in fact, at war.
 
Deeper down, his motivation is purely based on long gone, fond memories of better times. Reminding him of those does bring tears to his eyes sometimes.[/spoiler]Faction: CONSNT
[spoiler=Backstory]
Julius counted 10 years of work at a chemical plant in Kinsfield when the massive dragon head could be seen far off in the atmosphere. At once, news spread of the appearance of a real creature spawned from a monster off that horrid card game, Duel Monsters. As catastrophe drove the world into disarray and Exiles started appearing, it became obvious to a first-time fathering Julius that his family could not possibly survive for long. For many months, he would reassure her to no avail, that things would go back to normal soon–
 
Then one day she was stabbed on the street. Just like that, authorities said. Was probably carrying food. The child gone missing as well, no body found. It tore young Julius apart.
 
He could not stay in his home as he was, and so off he took. He took nothing with him, just enough to get to Ophia–the continent struck the least by calamity. Nowhere to go, nowhere to stay; Julius lived on the street and made a living out of whatever small job he could take to feed his homeless self.
 
A year into his stay in Ophia, he moved into Gaea. It was not long after that Julius met his first exile: an easily-scared Fox Fire, carrying its own card in its mouth, whom he came to name Lucius–after his (presumably) dead child. With his help, Julius became more adept a thief. It pained him to have to hurt others for his survival, but the world was in shreds... every man for himself, no matter how sad.
 
The second Exile he met was a whole lot meaner. A rogue, and a very dangerous one. He recognized it as Invasion of Flames–an evil face drawn dreadfully on a huge house fire. Julius scoffed at how easily it was getting killed, Gaea's firemen brigade dousing it. Just before the last of it was out, Julius took a burning piece of wood out of the site's wreck.
 
The fire, surprisingly eloquent and by the name of Cipher, was deeply grateful to Julius. Through a mutual agreement, Cipher would burn indefinitely alongside Julius; and likewise, Julius could ask of Cipher its... volatile capabilities.
 
Now with a decent weapon at his disposal, Julius flew back into a righteous path, lighting up as many homeless barrels as he could find, and threatening to burn the shit out of wrongdoers. At age 43, he was first screened for CONSNT.
 
And the rest, is history.[/spoiler][spoiler=Card Pool]
Infernal Flame Emperor x1
Solar Flare Dragon x2

Volcanic Scattershot x2

Volcanic Shell x2
Hinotama Soul x2
 
Tri-Blaze Accelerator x1
Molten Destruction x2
Blaze Accelerator x2
Wild Fire x1
 
Gravity Bind x1
Negate Attack x2
[/spoiler]Exile: Lucius (& Cipher)
Misc. info/fun facts: He's jewish in case you couldn't tell. His dueling experience is very limited, but his Exile Combat is highly regarded as cost-efficient and relatively safe to the user.[/spoiler]
[spoiler=Lucius]

"Gering-ding-ding-ding-ding-gedingeding"
Name: Lucius
Age: 40
Gender: ♂
Card: Fox Fire
Exile Class: Bound
Owner of card: Jules
Faction: CONSNT
[spoiler=Physical Description]
Lucius looks a lot less mischievous and just curls on Julius's lap most of the time. It also looks tired.[/spoiler][spoiler=Personality]
Old Lucius has always been a bit of a figurine. All he was ever good for back in the day was running to and from someplace really fast so as to not be caught, plus he suffers from a severe lack of actual physical strength, and as such his first instincts are of flight. Cunning but unable to speak, he communicates well enough by pointing at things and charading. He's a bit more on the lazy side nowadays, but can still run around the control room or the streets of Gaea when needed. He's deathly afraid of water and is incredibly dependent on Julius for protection.

 

He's not very picky when it comes to food, but visibly enjoys well-done small rodents, particularly the eventual Volcanic Rat some sap or other gets to call from the Spirit World.[/spoiler][spoiler=Backstory]
He'd just been born when a player Summoned him. Pissed that his Exile turned out to be him rather than something more powerful or cooler, he threw away the card. Lucius immediately picked it up and ran the hell away, before he finally found Julius. The man took him with open arms, and Lucius grew to become a street urchin in Gaea with his new partner in crime.[/spoiler][spoiler=Exile Ability]
Undying Flame:
The ability is surprisingly simple. Lucius's card will combust as any Exile's would–but is fireproof. That's right, when Lucius gets 'killed' (which is rather often given how fighting is not his forte), his card will burn for a while, then stop. When it does, Lucius springs back to life just as well.
Ripping the card will still kill Lucius, and getting it wet would cause the same effect burning any other card would.[/spoiler]Misc. info/fun facts: No-one actually knows what the fox says.[/spoiler]
[spoiler=Cipher]

"Burn baby, burn"
Name: Cipher
Age: Never said
Gender:
Card: Invasion of Flames
Exile Class: Rogue
Owner of card:
Faction: CONSNT
[spoiler=Physical Description]
Face is the same, except it's normally smaller and burning in a fireplace in the CONSNT HQ.[/spoiler][spoiler=Personality]
Cipher is ridiculously intelligent for a chemical reaction. And surprisingly adept at deceit and trickery. However, it is not completely without honour: its promise to Julius is its most important possession–and only one really, since this is a fire we're talking about. A sassy backtalker ever since it first appeared, its humiliating defeat during its first few hours of life on Earth will forever live in its proverbial, nonexistent brain.

 

While its bloodlust is not very prominent, it does feel rather attracted to combustible surfaces and is not generally against giving itself the small pleasure of consuming some loose chunks of wood which it deems no more useful unburnt. This becomes a problem when the same judgment is passed on the supporting beam of a house, for instance. Not that it's ever let anywhere near a house with one of those.[/spoiler][spoiler=Backstory]
Cipher was just another hellfire burning some town when it was called. It manifested as the fire combusting the card, and spread onto the wooden floor of the room the two duelists were playing in. The house caught fire and firemen were called. By the time they arrived the whole house was burning evilly. Then the flames started to be doused, and Julius saved it.[/spoiler][spoiler=Exile Ability]
Trapped in flames:

While a duelist is standing in proximity (10 or so metres) to a fire which is part of Cipher, trap cards placed on a disk will not activate.[/spoiler]Misc. info/fun facts: Cipher's voice is really deep.[/spoiler][/spoiler]

 

And done.

[Aqua Girl]

I like your character allot Mu, I for a second before I finished reading through. I thought "Gasp! Shoko's Daddy! xD"

[BANZAI!!!!]

[spoiler=Julius]

"Huh? Sorry. I wasn't paying attention."
 Name: Julius "Jules" Cohen
Gender: ♂
Age: 66
Height: 5'6''
[spoiler=Physical description]

Julius's attire is as depicted above except during field operations, however rare, in which he he wears a fireproof jumpsuit.[/spoiler][spoiler=Personality]
A weary veteran of a disaster-wrought and war-torn world, Julius is always willing to show a warm smile to any seeking help or comfort. To his eyes, humans should not suffer for something they did not bring to themselves. His thought does occasionally turn to Duel Monsters, and how they allegedly are manmade inventions... and eventually come back to himself as he snaps from daydream. The first years of drifting and later role as a leading figure in CONSNT have taught him better than to lower his guard, however. While he may care for all, he trusts but himself. His two exiles act as both a reassuring presence and an ever-present proof that humanity is, in fact, at war.
 
Deeper down, his motivation is purely based on long gone, fond memories of better times. Reminding him of those does bring tears to his eyes sometimes.[/spoiler]Faction: CONSNT
[spoiler=Backstory]
Julius counted 10 years of work at a chemical plant in Kinsfield when the massive dragon head could be seen far off in the atmosphere. At once, news spread of the appearance of a real creature spawned from a monster off that horrid card game, Duel Monsters. As catastrophe drove the world into disarray and Exiles started appearing, it became obvious to a first-time fathering Julius that his family could not possibly survive for long. For many months, he would reassure her to no avail, that things would go back to normal soon–
 
Then one day she was stabbed on the street. Just like that, authorities said. Was probably carrying food. The child gone missing as well, no body found. It tore young Julius apart.
 
He could not stay in his home as he was, and so off he took. He took nothing with him, just enough to get to Ophia–the continent struck the least by calamity. Nowhere to go, nowhere to stay; Julius lived on the street and made a living out of whatever small job he could take to feed his homeless self.
 
A year into his stay in Ophia, he moved into Gaea. It was not long after that Julius met his first exile: an easily-scared Fox Fire, carrying its own card in its mouth, whom he came to name Lucius–after his (presumably) dead child. With his help, Julius became more adept a thief. It pained him to have to hurt others for his survival, but the world was in shreds... every man for himself, no matter how sad.
 
The second Exile he met was a whole lot meaner. A rogue, and a very dangerous one. He recognized it as Invasion of Flames–an evil face drawn dreadfully on a huge house fire. Julius scoffed at how easily it was getting killed, Gaea's firemen brigade dousing it. Just before the last of it was out, Julius took a burning piece of wood out of the site's wreck.
 
The fire, surprisingly eloquent and by the name of Cipher, was deeply grateful to Julius. Through a mutual agreement, Cipher would burn indefinitely alongside Julius; and likewise, Julius could ask of Cipher its... volatile capabilities.
 
Now with a decent weapon at his disposal, Julius flew back into a righteous path, lighting up as many homeless barrels as he could find, and threatening to burn the s*** out of wrongdoers. At age 43, he was first screened for CONSNT.
 
And the rest, is history.[/spoiler][spoiler=Card Pool]
Infernal Flame Emperor x1
Solar Flare Dragon x2

Volcanic Scattershot x2

Volcanic Shell x2
Hinotama Soul x2
 
Tri-Blaze Accelerator x1
Molten Destruction x2
Blaze Accelerator x2
Wild Fire x1
 
Gravity Bind x1
Negate Attack x2
[/spoiler]Exile: Lucius (& Cipher)
Misc. info/fun facts: He's jewish in case you couldn't tell. His dueling experience is very limited, but his Exile Combat is highly regarded as cost-efficient and relatively safe to the user.[/spoiler]
[spoiler=Lucius]

"Gering-ding-ding-ding-ding-gedingeding"
Name: Lucius
Age: 40
Gender: ♂
Card: Fox Fire
Exile Class: Bound
Owner of card: Jules
Faction: CONSNT
[spoiler=Physical Description]
Lucius looks a lot less mischievous and just curls on Julius's lap most of the time. It also looks tired.[/spoiler][spoiler=Personality]
Old Lucius has always been a bit of a figurine. All he was ever good for back in the day was running to and from someplace really fast so as to not be caught, plus he suffers from a severe lack of actual physical strength, and as such his first instincts are of flight. Cunning but unable to speak, he communicates well enough by pointing at things and charading. He's a bit more on the lazy side nowadays, but can still run around the control room or the streets of Gaea when needed. He's deathly afraid of water and is incredibly dependent on Julius for protection.

 

He's not very picky when it comes to food, but visibly enjoys well-done small rodents, particularly the eventual Volcanic Rat some sap or other gets to call from the Spirit World.[/spoiler][spoiler=Backstory]
He'd just been born when a player Summoned him. Pissed that his Exile turned out to be him rather than something more powerful or cooler, he threw away the card. Lucius immediately picked it up and ran the hell away, before he finally found Julius. The man took him with open arms, and Lucius grew to become a street urchin in Gaea with his new partner in crime.[/spoiler][spoiler=Exile Ability]
Undying Flame:
The ability is surprisingly simple. Lucius's card will combust as any Exile's would–but is fireproof. That's right, when Lucius gets 'killed' (which is rather often given how fighting is not his forte), his card will burn for a while, then stop. When it does, Lucius springs back to life just as well.
Ripping the card will still kill Lucius, and getting it wet would cause the same effect burning any other card would.[/spoiler]Misc. info/fun facts: No-one actually knows what the fox says.[/spoiler]
[spoiler=Cipher]

"Burn baby, burn"
Name: Cipher
Age: Never said
Gender:
Card: Invasion of Flames
Exile Class: Rogue
Owner of card:
Faction: CONSNT
[spoiler=Physical Description]
Face is the same, except it's normally smaller and burning in a fireplace in the CONSNT HQ.[/spoiler][spoiler=Personality]
Cipher is ridiculously intelligent for a chemical reaction. And surprisingly adept at deceit and trickery. However, it is not completely without honour: its promise to Julius is its most important possession–and only one really, since this is a fire we're talking about. A sassy backtalker ever since it first appeared, its humiliating defeat during its first few hours of life on Earth will forever live in its proverbial, nonexistent brain.

 

While its bloodlust is not very prominent, it does feel rather attracted to combustible surfaces and is not generally against giving itself the small pleasure of consuming some loose chunks of wood which it deems no more useful unburnt. This becomes a problem when the same judgment is passed on the supporting beam of a house, for instance. Not that it's ever let anywhere near a house with one of those.[/spoiler][spoiler=Backstory]
Cipher was just another hellfire burning some town when it was called. It manifested as the fire combusting the card, and spread onto the wooden floor of the room the two duelists were playing in. The house caught fire and firemen were called. By the time they arrived the whole house was burning evilly. Then the flames started to be doused, and Julius saved it.[/spoiler][spoiler=Exile Ability]
Trapped in flames:

While a duelist is standing in proximity (10 or so metres) to a fire which is part of Cipher, trap cards placed on a disk will not activate.[/spoiler]Misc. info/fun facts: Cipher's voice is really deep.[/spoiler]

 

And done.

I was going to review this, but, honestly, after reading through it, there's nothing wrong with it and anything i say will more or less be redundant. Accepted.

 

 

 

Well finally finished it...hopefully its good enough ^^;
 
EDIT: Also...idk what is wrong with the friggin' spoilers >_>
 
[spoiler=Haruto Kurenai]
"Time for some action! Dian, let's go! Mask Change! HENSHIN!"
Name: Haruto Kurenai
Gender: Male
Age: 20
Height: 5'9"
[spoiler=Physical description]

Haruto has a slim body frame, which is great for the active young man. Because of his activeness, Haruto is able to move quick when he needs to. The young man is always seeming like a tidy person, with not a single hair out of place (even if its never combed, dude really loves his bed-head look). Haruto most often times will wear a pair of dark blue denim jeans, a black belt around his waist and usually wearing the dark orange/light brown and grey shirt seen above. The armbands/bracelets were given to him by his father and he continues to wear them on his left wrist, even in the midst of a duel. He has in his possession a Duel Disk which resembles a very old Duel Academia model, that he's made custom to him, by painting it with black trims.[/spoiler]
[spoiler=Personality]A duelist with a very strong sense of justice and willing to always do his best to protect his friends. ...OK scratch most of that. Haruto is indeed a very kind-hearted person and prefers not to harm any of his friends, but the hero act he tries to put up...it seriously needs working. He is easily intimidated by those who are bigger and stronger than he is (a trait Dian is doing his damn well best to adjust). However, if it wasn't for Dian at all, Haruto would most likely just try his best not to be involved in most situations. Haruto does his best to surround him with friends that will support and back him up, in his hopes that they'll become the driving force to make him less intimidated.[/spoiler]
Faction: Independent
[spoiler=Backstory]Haruto grew up in the northern end of Ophia, where a series of Exiles (not Rogue but more on the lines of just bad) and gangs are seen causing trouble (not of the deadly kind, but more of the thefts and petty arson). Here, Haruto learned how the world seemed to look so evil in his eyes...especially the night his mother died. It was just a petty arson fire...so the Exiles and gangs thought...but it was Haruto's home and his dad did his best to save him and his mother...but his mother was left inside the burning building. At her funeral, Haruto promised at his mother's grave that he'd try to protect others in a way she would've wanted him to. And that's when he met Dian.
 
Dian appeared to Haruto during the funeral, as he paid his respects to the Kurenai woman, the woman who also helped him out one day before. "She wanted to save people...and summoned me. She got them to safety...and I protected them. I've been ready by her side since." Dian also spoke and mentioned the reason he could not save her that night...was that she had already passed the card down to another: Haruto. The deck he was given the morning before did indeed have Masked HERO Dian there. It was this day as well, that he asked Dian to help him with trying to what his mother did and help to protect some of the other citizen's lives from these bad Exiles and the gangs. He agreed as the two began to do their best to protect those living in northern Ophia.[/spoiler]
[spoiler=Card Pool]2x E-HERO Woodsman
2x E-HERO Ocean
2x Mask Change
2x Mystical Space Typhoon
Skyscraper 2 - Hero City
Bottomless Trap Hole
Dark Bribe
2x Negate Attack
2x Hero Barrier
2x Mirror Force
M-HERO Acid[/spoiler]
Exile: Dian Lowell (AKA: Masked HERO Dian)
Misc. info/fun facts:
Haruto's Theme | Battle Theme

• Haruto Kurenai's name is derived from two separate Kamen Rider main characters: - Haruto from Kamen Rider Wizard (Haruto Soma), Kurenai - from Kamen Rider Kiva (Wataru Kurenai).
• Haruto's overall appearance stems from another Kamen Rider main character: Eiji Hino from Kamen Rider OOO.

[/spoiler]
 
[spoiler=Dian Lowell]
"The time has come to return justice to this world!"
Name: Dian Lowell
Age: Unsure (Only speculating to be 24)
Gender: Male
Card: Masked HERO Dian
Exile Class: Bound
Owner of card: Haruto Kurenai
Faction: Independent
[spoiler=Physical Description]

Same as above, however his sword/lance is sheathed and resting on his left hip, along with his armor and cape having a few cuts and scratches on them.[/spoiler]
[spoiler=Personality]Dian is a noble hero and warrior on Earth and in the spirit world, as he is willing to lay down his life for his friends and comrades. Now if he could only get his partner Haruto to have almost the exact same attitude. He is a very patient warrior, though it runs out most of the time when he is constantly being thrown into helping Haruto learn what it takes to become a real hero, however he has begun to regret this job, as its being needed too often. Dian is a nobleman at heart, always holding his tongue and never speaking ill about anyone, whether friend, foe, or rivals, he treats them all with a very strong respect.[/spoiler]
[spoiler=Backstory]Dian was found by Haruto's mother, but was never called upon until that fateful day she helped save a bunch of a people with his help. Since then and even before, he and her shared a strong bond between each other (as most Duelists and cards do). When it came time for Haruto get his own deck, Dian was put into his deck, almost as if his mother was telling Dian to watch over her son no matter what.[/spoiler]
[spoiler=Exile Ability]
Heroes Never Die
Dian's ability, Heroes Never Die, allows him to call forth his fallen HERO comrades into battle as spirits. Depending on the amount of HERO spirits that are called forth, decides on how strong Dian shall become with their combined power and teamwork.

• One - Two: When one or two HERO comrade spirits are summoned forth, Dian tells them to destroy two of the opponent's face down cards.
• Three: When three are summoned forth, the opposing Exile monster becomes slow in attacking, this allowing Dian the upper hand in attacking swiftly.
• Four: When four HERO spirits are summoned forth, Dian's power raises as the spirits are called to his blade, allowing to attack the Exile with an attack that is quite literally one that deals four times the damage.

[/spoiler]Misc. info/fun facts:
Dian's Theme | Battle Theme

• Masked HERO Dian is one of the few Exiles that have decided to keep some form of his original name (only adding Lowell on a whim, as it was the first name he heard on his appearance on the Earth).

[/spoiler]

 

Reviewing this today.

[spoiler=Review]Usually i'd attempt some form of humor here, but honestly my brain is incapable of trying to be funny right now. Its also really late and i have an IC thread to post, so this is gonna be a little bit short.

 

As usual, lets start with the duelist. Haruto first.

 

He's rather interesting, honestly. He's unique, there's room for development, etc. Really my only complaint here is that his personality doesn't quite meet the 6 line minimum. Add some more to it.

 

While I don't find Dian as interesting, what with him being a stright-up hero type, again I really have no complaints about his character. I do like the fact that it was in actuality Haruto's mother who first summoned him, and that Dian is in essence a hand-me-down. His personality is also not quite at the 6 line minimum, and needs to be added to as well. Heroes Never die has a couple of issues as well. First and foremost, I'm a bit confused as to what you mean by spirits. Does this mean that Haruto must play HERO monster cards on his duel disk to buff Dian? Are there dead HERO exiles that he can channel? Do they operate as attack drones in a similar fashion to Noxus's dragon minions in that they can attack the enemy autonomously, or are they just buffs? I'd like an explanation as to how this works. Second, the one-two spirit ability is not very useful, since cards are rarely set in combat duels, and when they are they are done so stealthily, as there are no rules stating that one needs to inform their oppoinent of the cards they play. In other words, most, of not all sets done in combat duels are done in secret so that they can be sprung on an unsuspecting opponent. This means that Dian will never know for sure if the opponent has set cards unless he sees the cards set on the disk itself, and will therefore have few, if any occasions to use this ability. Perhaps a change like extending it to s/t cards in play, rather than just sets would be in order?

 

Cardpool is, suprisingly, entirely ok, although Mugen suggested ( and i agree with him) that Form Change would make for an excellent card, as it allows Dian to summon transform into other masked HEROs provided haruto has copies of those cards.

 

All things considered, I really like this app for whatever reason. Just add the personality details and explain the Exile ability and we're good. Also form change if you feel like it.

 

Verdict: Tagged WIP until recommended edits are made.

[/spoiler]

[Mugendramon]

I like your character allot Mu, I for a second before I finished reading through. I thought "Gasp! Shoko's Daddy! xD"

 

...no. The kid would have to be 30 or 31, given the catastrophe happened around the time the child was born. And his name was fucking Lucius.

[Kari-chan]

Dont know if you were being coy or if you did not read her post right, She said before she finished. x33

[BANZAI!!!!]

IC is going up tonight. For all of you who haven't turned in complete apps yet, application will remain open until june 9th. If you've already applied and have either to edit your app or have not recieved a review, you can ignore the june 9th deadline.

[Lunar Origins]

[spoiler= Duelist]

"I'll find you and take you back Onii-chan! "

Name: Raena Hazashi

Gender: Female(But due to her outfit and voice disruptor in her helmet her gender is ambiguous)

Age: 18

Height: 4'11

Physical description:
[spoiler=Armored]

No this is not just me being lazy I truly like the mystery ninja's art and wanted it to be her armored form.[/spoiler]
[Spoiler= Unarmored][/spoiler]
Through the use of wrapping and a small chest she is indistinguishable from a male.

[spoiler= Personality] Rae as she likes others to call her, has a cheery and a stupid demeanor despite her harsh past she still holds on to her childish ideals of saving the world and loves to voice this fact. She can be smart witted and kind of an ass at times but shes a very pure hearted girl that only wants to bring her brother back from the destructive path hes set out on.[/spoiler]

Faction: independent

[Spoiler= Backstory]
Raena is a member of one of the last remaining ninja clans after the calamity with the rise of anarchy and warlords the Ninja's purpose was restored and soon they grew massive in stature they became one of the most feared names to be whispered. "The Hazashi clan." Raena Was raised in the clans higher social standings and since the age of six she underwent brutal training to hone her mind and body to become the perfect assassin. Times were good for the clan and for Raena, she and her brother grew up almost like twins despite him being 2 years older than her. They competed at everything and despite her brother being better than her in everyday she always tried to surpass him and he found her desire to become better than him endearing. When the day of her eighteenth birthday despite it being her birthday her brother was being announced to graduate the academy and become a high ranked member of the clan some even expected him to succeed the grand master, She was fine with this as he had little but his position and she knew it meant a lot to him. Plus she would make him buy her tofu later. That.... Was the day it all changed. The clan was attacked by a rival clan and the grandmaster was slain, Raena in her anger awakened the Ninjitsu art of transformation and Killed the assailant. She did not know what she did that day but it changed everything for her and her brother. The next morning the new grand master was to be declared and Her brother was the obvious choice, despite his age none but the grandmaster could match him and Raena thought so too. But unbeknownst to her the elders had other ideas. Because in the clans lore the Spirit within the Card Raena activated in response to her, when it should only respond to the grandmaster they claimed her as the new grand master, much to her and her brothers shock and dismay. Her brother worked realy hard to get to his position, Raena pleaded but they would have no word of it she was their Grandmaster now. This sent her bother mad, one day there was commotion, she hadn't been grand master for a week. Raena rushed to the temple where the Ninjitsu Art cards were held and found her brother and with a sick blood splattered grin he disappeared cards in tow. Raena is convinced her brother is involved in the tourney and is aiming to find and capture him there.[/spoiler]

[spoiler= Card Pool]
Red Dragon Ninja x1
Dark Simorgh x1
Brain Crusher x1
MST x2
Seven tools of the Bandit x2
Magic Jammer x2
Great Poseidon Beetle x1
Alpacaribou, Mystical Beast of the Forest x1
Ookazi x2
impenetrable attack x2
Meteor of Destruction x2
(To be changed with more Ninjutsu cards when her story grows.) [/spoiler]


Exile: Ninjitsu Art of Trance formation

Misc. info/fun facts: She has a hero Complex and though she really does want to bring her brother back she is also using this as a way to escape her duties.[/spoiler]
[spoiler= Exile]

"..."

Name:

Age:

Gender:

Card: Ninjitsu Art of Transformation

Exile Class: Bound

(If Bound Exile) Raena Hazashi

Faction: Independent

Physical Description: It appears as an blue Aura that surrounds her.

Personality: When under the influence of the Ninjutsu Art Raena's personality drastically changes. She can become more feral and moody sometimes prone to violence or attitudes she regularly wouldn't have. When Raena transforms is when her personality is changes the most by Ninjutsu Art. It takes over more completely and has varying effects. When Raena is a Beast type She becomes ferocious less prone to thinking first and rarely speaks almost as if restrained by the power or the beast she became. When she takes on the form of an insect she becomes single minded and stupid not her usual playing dumb but cold and calculating. When In the form of a Winged-Beast She becomes more intelligent and skilled. Despite this her personality turns more to that of carefree while having her mind on the task at hand, a contradictory like a gust of wind.
(Ya know I could just complained I think I did a dam good job since its a trap card and all so doesn't have a personality.)

[spoiler= Backstory]
Ninjitsu Art of Trance formation like all of the other singleton Ninjitsu Art cards were protected by Raena's former Grandmaster and predecessor he used the cards to make his clan what they have become today. Some say each Ninjitsu Art card has a Exile but that is far from the truth... Or is it?
[/spoiler]

Exile Ability
Nijitsu Art of Transformation allows is owner to turn in to a Beast, Winged-Beast, or Insect type monster from their card pool. This version of combat allows the user to become more powerful so they can fight to defeat the Enemy Exile.
The User is always treated as a level 4. The user is not tributed but their transformed in to the monster for a limited time before turning back with a cool down time.
[/spoiler]

Hope this goes over well Ehe~

 

I will be reviewing your application; however I will inform you that your application cannot be accepted at this time due to the personality section not adhering to the six-line rule.  Once you have updated that section of Raena's application, then I will review it.  But, from what I see, I do like your application.  Fix that issue, and we'll be well on our way.

[BANZAI!!!!]

Sonic's review is finished.

[Lord JZ of the Enigma]

I wonder, what kind of technological advances would CONSNT have over the other factions? how much more advanced is the combat disk and what kind of attachments are there?

[BANZAI!!!!]

I wonder, what kind of technological advances would CONSNT have over the other factions? how much more advanced is the combat disk and what kind of attachments are there?

I'd say they're roughly analogous to any 20th century nation in terms of technology, though obviously their manpower is still substantially lower because, ya know, its a post apocalypse. Combat disks are more or less weaponized versions of that robot kaiba fought at the beginning of battle city, in that they have rudimentary ai and their holograms are always set to that lethal level of real the we saw in that duel, making whatever actually becomes real a decent amount more powerful. The ai on a disk can also disregard certain gameplay rules like turn phases in order to cast cards, effectively simulating the situation within itself and allowing the card to be cast legally. Compare to a regular duel disk that will sometimes prevent a card from being cast due to the fact that its computer thinks that its playing the card game, and the card being played is a monster on the opponent's turn, a wrong timed s/t, etc. In other words, combat disks sort of cheat so that its easier to cast cards and they help duelists cast faster and better.

 

didn't finish the IC post last night so im gonna try to get it up this morning. I have another shift at work though so if i can;t then it will be up tonight.

[Aqua Girl]

*Me yawns loudly* Excuse me eheh. Just got over my work hell. Stupid high school graduations xD

 

Would it be possible to... herm. Whats the word... To have well Jarvis level AI at this time say if some one made a character that's some tech genius er something? I ask with his level as something like Cortana seems way too far off.

 

EDIT: I've made the changes to my app and fleshed out Shi-En a bit for better or worse ._.'

[Kari-chan]

I will be reviewing your application; however I will inform you that your application cannot be accepted at this time due to the personality section not adhering to the six-line rule.  Once you have updated that section of Raena's application, then I will review it.  But, from what I see, I do like your application.  Fix that issue, and we'll be well on our way.

http://forum.yugiohcardmaker.net/topic/316486-yu-gi-oh-exiles-oocpg-16not-startedaccepting/page-4#entry6414398

 

Oh I was under the impression that 6 lines was enough... I added another line er so I hope that's good enough :)

 

 

EDIT:

Ohhhh I see now, that's the old one you saw. I accidentally re posted my new app Zai Guard and I were working on.

 

Not that I mind if you want to do my new one, since hes been so busy. Although after we've made the changes he seems to like it.

 

EDIT:
Actually You can start but I'm going to give it a quick grammar check

[Super Chaos Sonic]

And with that...I'm finished!! ...I hope ^^;

[BANZAI!!!!]

And with that...I'm finished!! ...I hope ^^;

My answer

 

Just kidding, actually. Accepted.

[Lunar Origins]

Oh!  I didn't see that.  Well, here we go, here's the review.

 

[spoiler= The review.  Not 'da review' - that's childish and stupid.]

 

Here we have your quintessential ninja in Rae, who is perhaps one of the more interesting characters in the roleplay.  To get started, there are a couple of things you could work on, such as your spelling and grammar, but that's a problem easily remedied.  Just be more aware of your writing as you write on, and be sure to run posts through a spell checker such as this.

 

Raena's past makes for an interesting origin story;  she was rigorously trained in the ways of the ninja and is very combative, yet still holds what seems to be a very lighthearted and childish demeanor.  I like that.  But if her training was simply superior to what most people at CONSNT go through, if I read correctly, what was the true reason of sending her off to get more training?  That's certainly food for thought.  Surely her father could see that, or perhaps what he saw was a great evil, and the best way for him to combat that was to send his daughter off to the military.  Hm.

 

As for your card pool, I see your gimmick - equipping cards to the opponent's monsters to lock them down, then executing them with Eternal Rest.  Interesting, to say the least;  it fits the ninja theme quite well and I'm actually very curious to see how she'll perform in the roleplay.

 

[/spoiler]

 

You are accepted.  Raena's interesting past and what seems to be unique fighting style come together to create the little happy-go-lucky package of death and justice trap we have here today.  The only thing I'm not in love with is her armored form; however, that's just my personal taste and doesn't have much of an effect on whether or not this character is accepted or not.

[Kari-chan]

*claps my hands together* Yay I'm quite excited and will try to keep my grammar in check.

[Super Chaos Sonic]

My answer

 

Just kidding, actually. Accepted.

 

Oh good! XD

 

And I love that first response though!

[BANZAI!!!!]

I know i said id finish the IC yesterday, but it was not meant to be. Will try my best to get it up today.

[Kari-chan]

I was wondering if I can get the app up within a day. Can I make an Diabolos App?

[BANZAI!!!!]

I was wondering if I can get the app up within a day. Can I make an Diabolos App?

You've already been accepted into the rp, so there's no deadline for you to meet. feel free to submit an additional app for review.