Cursed Seal Dragon (Ritual Monster & Spell)

[Chiz Fri]

Cursed Seal Dragon

Dragon / Ritual / Effect

Attack: 2600 / Defense: 2100

You can only Ritual Summon this card with "Cursed Seal Ritual." Once per turn, when your opponent activates a Spell/Trap card during your turn: Negate the activation, and if you do, destroy it, then 1 monster your opponent controls cannot attack until your next Standby Phase.

 

Cursed Seal Ritual

Spell / Ritual

This card is used to Ritual Summon "Cursed Seal Dragon." You must also Tribute monsters from your hand or the field whose total Levels equal 7 or more. During either player's turn, if a face-up "Cursed Seal Dragon" you control is targeted by the effect of a Spell or Trap card: You can banish this card from the Graveyard; negate the activation of that card, and if you do, destroy it.

[goddamnit names are a pain]

It feels….a bit underpowered.

It's neat that its a level 7 Dragon, but the effect is somewhat weak. 

Maybe make it to where all monsters your opponent currently controls can't attack until your next standby phase?
The art for the cards also looked rather nice.

[Chiz Fri]

It feels….a bit underpowered.

It's neat that its a level 7 Dragon, but the effect is somewhat weak. 

Maybe make it to where all monsters your opponent currently controls can't attack until your next standby phase?
The art for the cards also looked rather nice.

 

Hmm I get what you mean. Maybe instead, have a stipulation on the amount like "Target any number of Monsters your opponent controls, up to the number of Banished Dragon-Type Monsters" or something to that effect (with the correct CCG)?

 

The art for both cards came from JazinKay's photobucket.

[Sleepy]

For grammar, I think the monsters usually have:
Must first be Ritual Summoned by "     ".

and nothing else written since the Ritual Summoning conditions will pretty much always be written on the Spell itself, making it rather redundant to write it twice nowadays. Or like Relinquish, which doesn't even have anything written. Just stating it is a Ritual Monster is enough to understand it needs to be Ritual Summoned anyways, unless you want to make it a Ritual Nomi of some sort that is.

 

The monster's effect is pretty much that of "Blizzard Dragon", which is a Level 4 effect monster. I think you can up that effect's power a bit, as said above.

 

As for the Ritual Spell, I recommend giving it an extra effect of some sort. We refer to these pretty much as Ritual Vanillas nowadays, which might look flavorful and nice, but have really no edge over Ritual Spells that work on any monster of a certain Attribute, or Advance Ritual Art, which works on any Ritual Monster at all, and even works out the Tributes from the Deck as long as they are vanilla monsters.

I advice something that can complement your monster's effect, like something along the lines of:
During either player's turn, while you control a "Cursed Seal Dragon": You can banish this card from your Graveyard to target 1 monster your opponent controls; it becomes affected by the effect of "Cursed Seal Dragon".

as in, being able to get a monster your opponent is just Summoning, which the monster would normally not be able to seal otherwise for being the opponent's turn. Just a suggestion.

 

 

The art of both cards looks great, and I like the concept itself.

[Trebuchet MS]

The problem with Cursed Seal Dragon is that the effect is very, very one-off, and doesn't give very good payouts. You Ritual Summon it to... freeze an opponent's monster? For 1 turn? And you can't keep re-freezing it or other monsters in subsequent turns?

 

On-Summon effects are generally expected to be relatively powerful to make the monster worth the investments you've done for its Summons. Slightly weaker effects that can be problematic over time would do better as once-per-turn ignition effects.

[cardffreakxx]

WAYYY to underpowered. Ritual monsters are hard enough to play as is and with a mediocre effect like that this card would be at the bottom of the list with hungry Burger.  try adding something more to it. its just not enough

[Chiz Fri]

The first version of the card has been moved to Aix's Rebirth project thread. The updated version is in the edit, and has taken into consideration everyone's ideas.

[Trebuchet MS]

Now it's wrapped around into too powerful. That S/T criteria is very wide, preventing the opponent from ever successfully responding to your plays barring Counter Traps. Tack on a "Once per turn" clause and then it would be significantly fairer, albeit still quite strong.

[Chiz Fri]

The "Once per turn" clause has been added. Anything else?

[Trebuchet MS]

As the text stands, it appears that the S/T negation occurs and resolves before the opponent even has a chance to react. Let me see if I can fix that text...

 

This card You can only be Ritual Summoned this card with the Ritual Spell Card "Cursed Seal Ritual." Once per turn, when your opponent activates a Spell/Trap card during your turn: You can target 1 monster your opponent controls; negate the effect of that card activation of the Spell/Trap Card, and if you do, destroy it, then you can target one monster your opponent controls; that target cannot attack until your next Standby Phase.

It's not exactly as you might have intended, as the opponent now knows what monster might get frozen should they let the effect go off, but the alternative is to not make this effect target.

[Chiz Fri]

As the text stands, it appears that the S/T negation occurs and resolves before the opponent even has a chance to react. Let me see if I can fix that text...

 

It's not exactly as you might have intended, as the opponent now knows what monster might get frozen should they let the effect go off, but the alternative is to not make this effect target.

Well you're just having to fix all my grammar mistakes tonight aren't you? (Not that I don't appreciate it; it just makes me better!)

How would I write an effect that doesn't target, but still only affects a limited number of the opponent's cards?

[Trebuchet MS]

Well you're just having to fix all my grammar mistakes tonight aren't you? (Not that I don't appreciate it; it just makes me better!)

How would I write an effect that doesn't target, but still only affects a limited number of the opponent's cards?

You just don't specify any targets between the colon and semicolon (this is normally where any costs to be paid or targets to be selected are written).

 

In the case of your card effect, the alternative I was thinking of was:

Once per turn, when your opponent activates a Spell/Trap card during your turn: Negate the effect of that card activation, and if you do, destroy it, then you can target 1 monster your opponent controls; that target cannot attack until your next Standby Phase.

[Chiz Fri]

You just don't specify any targets between the colon and semicolon (this is normally where any costs to be paid or targets to be selected are written).

 

In the case of your card effect, the alternative I was thinking of was:

Once per turn, when your opponent activates a Spell/Trap card during your turn: Negate the effect of that card activation, and if you do, destroy it, then you can target 1 monster your opponent controls; that target cannot attack until your next Standby Phase.

 

Ah, that makes sense. I suppose this would make it better, since the effect no longer targets. Thank you for your help again. The edits have been made to the OP.

[Trebuchet MS]

While I'm at it, let me adjust the Ritual Spell too to put it in line with the recent wordings.

 

You can use This card is used to Ritual Summon "Cursed Seal Dragon" from your hand. You must also offer Tribute monsters whose Levels equal 7 or more as a Tribute from your hand or the field whose total Levels equal 7 or more. During either player's turn, if a face-up "Cursed Seal Dragon" you control is targeted by the effect of a Spell or Trap card: You can banish this card from your Graveyard; to negate the effect of that card activation, and if you do, destroy it.

Nothing too strong or too weak about this card - a one-off protection from targeting S/T's on either player's turn after you've used this card for the Ritual Summon is helpful, even if the monster itself already has protection against those things to a limited degree.

[Chiz Fri]

While I'm at it, let me adjust the Ritual Spell too to put it in line with the recent wordings.

 

Nothing too strong or too weak about this card - a one-off protection from targeting S/T's on either player's turn after you've used this card for the Ritual Summon is helpful, even if the monster itself already has protection against those things to a limited degree.

Again, thank you for the assistance. As with the piercing deal, the only Ritual Cards I own predate PSCT and all other wording changes to Ritual Monsters.

The edits have been made to the OP.