Kain, the assassin of Hexon

[Theomus]

 

This is my first creation so please judge and comment. Have thought of create a new archetype but inexperience. So I will start by making this card

[itsfido]

You would need to summon the monster in attack, or else you get a free 2800 beat stick with no cost each turn.

 

Maybe something like "if you use this effect, this cards attack and defence become the original attack and defence of the monster you summoned until the next end phase."

[Flash Flyer - Sakura]

Allowing set-up bait for another Xyz/Synchro monster AND getting a 2800 beater each turn? How about no. 

As already mentioned, you can get another Rank 5 or lower monster out, which can also be used to sweep for game in conjunction with this card's direct attacking effect. Granted, the only Decks that could probably abuse this card are Fiend-based ones (Fableds and Dark Worlds come to mind though; don't know if there is anything else that this card works with)

 

My suggestion would be to restrict it from attacking the turn you activate this effect or get rid of the direct attacking effect altogether. You should not be given a free direct attack for SSing a monster + fueling Extra Deck spam.

 

 

A quick OCG fix (again, this is based on your current effect; it will change depending on what edits you make to this)

 

1 Winged Beast or Fiend-Type Tuner + 1 or more non-Tuner monsters

Once per turn: You can Special Summon a Level 5 or lower Warrior or Fiend-Type monster from your hand; that monster's ATK/DEF become 0 until your next Standby Phase. If you activate this effect, this card can attack your opponent directly this turn. 

[Spinny]

May i suggest....

Lore:
1 Winged beast or fiend-type tuner monster + 2 or more none-tuner monsters
Once per turn you can special summon 1 level five or lower warrior or fiend type monster from your hand and if you do this card can attack directly until the end of the turn but if you do that monster can't attac this turn.
During your next standby phase if you summoned a monster with cards effect in your last turn and is no. Longer on the field destroy this card.

Or something more restrictive like that

Hope I was of use !!! :)

[Flash Flyer - Sakura]

You need to explain WHY you think that effect should be the way you worded it.

Just posting a fix without explaining does us no good.

 

(And also, please try to write your fix properly)

[Theomus]

 maybe if I change the effect  becomes like this: 

1 Winged Beast or Fiend-Type Tuner + 1 or more non-Tuner monsters

Once per turn: You can Special Summon a Level 5 or lower Winged Beast or Fiend-Type monster from your hand; that monster's ATK/DEF become 0 until your next Standby Phase. That monster also cannot be used for Xyz/Synchro/Fusion material until your next standby phase. If you activate this effect, this card loses 200 ATK and can attack your opponent directly.

 

Change that ss monster type and with its effect negated. I was initially hoping that this card could be used in Harpie/Blackwing deck. As mentioned, this card should be better in Fiend-based deck but its not my thought at first. That "warrior-type" in the original description is nothing but simply a rookie mistake. 

 

So this is actually my thought on how should it  be working out in winged beast based deck. 

First. you get this this monster on the the field. Special summon 1 winged beast.  E.g. Blackwing shura. Then you can special summon Bora or gale. This may looks unfair but to me it fits the theme of "swarming".

       Another example, you ss harpie queen, then you can activate Harpie hunting ground on the field to destroy a spell/trap card. Then you can use elegant egotist to ss another harpie lady. But since you can't xyz using              harpie queen( or shura). That is pretty much the things you can do.

 

2nd, If you run a harpie deck and did what i said, you can destroy at least one spell/trap card which is what we worried( or need , like , destroying call of the haunted to get rid of possible combo                starter or effect monster that you tried so hard to defeat in last turn.

 

3rd, sometimes facing a defence-based deck, their def is much higher and opponent probably waiting to get some xyz material to the field next turn. This card may not be able to end your opponent( or could be in some              cases) but can still do some damage to it. 

 

With the effect negated and ATK/DEF becomes 0. its up to player to protect that monster. unless you want to ss dark simorgh if using BlackHarpie deck. I hope this is much better version. Still welcome any comment. and  so sorry for my bad grammar and poor expression skill