[Writing Contest] Loneliness

[Aix]

Well, I'm glad we got such a grand total of 3 submission. I was really hoping for more, so I sort of stretched the deadline way past what it should have been. I suppose it makes it easier for our judges to have less.

[spoiler=The Cost of Living]Andy was the only one left. This feeling was a new one, and an unwelcome one at that. He had never been on his own like this. One would think he’d feel free now that his tiny lodgings wasn’t being shared with dozens of others but as it turned out he missed his friends dearly.

For they were friends. How could they not have been with how much they had in common? Even if some of them were older, or younger, and with vastly different faces. They were all cut from the same cloth after all. To see them go, especially in the way it happened, was jarring.

Just the other day they were all together. Enjoying each other’s company and swapping stories of their travels. They had one guy who had been to Egypt and saw the pyramids first hand. And yet another that found himself in the middle of a bank robbery.

He himself hadn’t had nearly as many adventures. He wasn’t very old after all. In fact this had been the first time he was away from his place of birth. Perhaps that’s why he felt so alone. back then he was around so many others. And now there was nothing. He was all by himself in this place.

He noticed things about his living space that he hadn’t before. It was dirty. Bits of dust and crumbs littered the floor. And it smelled. It smelled horribly. He realized then that it hadn’t been cleaned since he first came to live here. It hadn’t bothered him before but without the others to distract himself he could think of nothing else.

That wasn’t quite true. Even the disgust he felt at his surroundings couldn’t keep his mind off the fate of his friends for long. It was horrible what happened to them. He may be wallowing in loneliness-driven pity but that didn’t cloud his judgment. It was awful, and unfair, and many other terrible things.

They hadn’t simply left. They were taken from him. Ben was a victim of hunger. No one had realized just how bad it had gotten until suddenly he was gone. He felt like a failure of a friend. Being unable to prevent such a thing. Of course, with a life such as this, it wasn’t an unexpected way to be taken. It was a sad but true fact about their situation. Hunger was a very real, very common threat.

It wasn’t the only one, however. Sickness, vehicles, and drinking claimed more than a few of his friends over the past week alone. Even something as simple as boredom could claim them eventually.

George’s was the worst, however. He still shuddered when thinking about it. Life had never been kind to old George. He was always being tossed around like nothing. Going from place to place without real purpose. Unlike some of their friends, his adventures were never good. They were always filled with the most dirty and horrible places.

His loss had come unexpectedly. Everything had been calm but then they realized that George was gone. They eventually learned that he had been drowned. Worse than that was how little the bearer of this news seemed to care. “It wasn’t all that important. Sure it is a bit inconvenient but I don’t mind.”

They went in such terrible ways. Just taken from Andy just like that. Torn away suddenly and violently. They had no way to prevent it. It just was how it worked here. This world they lived in was sickening, repulsive, a world of greed where no one cared about anyone else and...

He was getting bitter. He had been here by himself for far too long. An entire week of just him. With only two walls for company. He wondered if he would ever get any company. He heard rumors that in another week more he would get some new guys here. It seemed iffy. With how often people lost their jobs around this place he couldn’t see how anyone new would make it. No, he couldn’t face another false hope like that. It was bad enough the other day, when a stupid gamble had given him hope that he wouldn’t be so alone soon. That had ended in only disappointment and he was left to contemplate his situation more.

He started growing paranoid. Whenever he peeked his head out into the world he wondered if he would be next. He was the last one after all. And this world was vicious. He wondered how he had lasted this long. It was as if the world was just waiting for something.

The longer he was on his own the more paranoid he became. Every second now he expected to be forcefully pulled out of the safety of his home.

He didn’t want to leave. This was all he had left. No friends, no family, just this smelly enclosure that protected him from the outside world.

He had almost become used to being by himself. The loneliness was better than the panic he had been in these past several days. He started noticing things about himself more.

The strange greenish tone to his skin. The creases and scars that he didn’t remember getting. He only vaguely remembered his former friends by now. When he thought about it he really was worth more than any of them, besides Ben. Poor Ben. But he still missed them. They weren’t totally worthless after all and they had been good company.

It was a day left until the time predicted he’d get new friends. He had been alone for so long he wasn’t sure how he would handle the company. Would they be nice? Would they smell good? How many would there be? Would any of them be like him or would they all be different?

The more he thought about it, the more excited he got. Soon, very soon, there would be something new. Something other than this place. Someone to talk to.

The door opened. He was startled. Had he gotten the time wrong? He was sure it was tomorrow. But no one came in. He heard a voice from outside. “That’ll be exactly twenty dollars.”

And a second, closer, voice. “Oh, perfect. I’ve had this twenty sitting here all week.” And instead of someone coming in, he was pulled out. Taken away from his home, just as he was about to get new friends. It wasn’t fair, it wasn’t fair at all.

And then he was passed to a new person. Some more talking happened but it mattered little. He was going to be alone for even longer wouldn’t he? The sound of a drawer opening couldn’t break him out of the depression that was forming.

But wait. Something was different. As he approached his new home he spotted...could it be? Yes, it was! An entire new home. Filled to the brim with friends. More friends than he had even in the previous home. He was greeted by a chorus of welcomes.

He would be lonely no longer.[/spoiler]
[spoiler=Sorry to leave you hanging]It's been one year to the day since I've spoken to anybody. I was never a really social type, but even I had friends I would spend time with daily. What I still don't get is why I was the only one. The one and only person among me or my friends that was killed during a school shooting. I also don't know why I'm the only one among the deceased whose ghost is still in this world. I guess I'm the only one who had some kind of unfinished business or promise here.

I'd attended my funeral a week after I died. It was an interesting experience, but an altogether unpleasant one. Even then, nobody was really talking to me so much as about me. That went on for a couple of months, until eventually my name was only brought up on occasion, and then not at all. I've been following my best friend out of the group – the one who introduced me to all my other friends – ever since, hoping maybe one day she'll develop some kind of power to see the dead. It's silly, but even ghosts can hope.

It was Thursday now, right around lunchtime. We...no, they, were all up on the roof; there were always a couple other groups of students who ate up there besides us. Not that we'd ever paid them mind. Today those other groups weren't up here; just my circle of six friends. They all brought more or less the same lunches they always brought to school. They all brought sodas with them every time. And every day since they'd seemingly forgotten about me, I'd always have my best friend's soda fizz out of control when she opened it. Today was no different; her can burst open, they all laughed and stepped away, and they'd make some joke.

“Why does this keep happening to me?”

“Maybe you've been cursed by a ghost!”

Yes! It's a ghost! It's me! I'm right here, guys! Right behind you!

“Nah, everybody knows ghosts aren't real.”

…I see. I vividly remember a time when she used to believe in everything spooky or supernatural. She must have gotten over that. And over me. And over the fact that exactly one year ago, I took a bullet to the brain when I dived in the way to save her life. She never even thanked me, not even at the funeral. I suppose that she's at least happy. She found a boyfriend six months ago; they're a very good pair for each other. Her mother gave birth to a baby sister last month. I tried picking up the baby once, while she was asleep. She woke up and cried. I don't even know if it was just bad timing or if she actually knew I was there.

“Oh, isn't today...?”

“Wow, it's already been a year...”

Hm? They remembered?

“Don't the rest of you get all glum on me! Tomorrow night's prom and our star girl here's got a cream-of-the-crop boy to go with!”

Oh, thanks a lot. By all means, brush off the subject the one time people are talking about me again and get them excited for the prom.

“I have to go to the flower shop today. Anybody else need anything while I'm out in that part of town?”

“Nah.”

“I'm okay.”

“Thanks for asking.”

“Actually, I need some daisies for my mom's birthday.”

“Alright, I'll keep it in mind.”

The flower shop, was it? Well, she's my best friend, so I'll follow her. I've been doing that. She must be planning to surprise that boy with some flowers. She was always like that; loved to surprise people with sudden things. The one time I surprise her and I end up dead. Figures. The group was going back to their usual chatter; nothing I hadn't heard before. I guess up here, on the sunlit roof, I could sit back and take a quick nap. Even ghosts can sleep, after all. Too bad we can't dream.
[divider1]
I woke back up to see the sun setting. School must have let out while I was asleep. Which meant my bestie would either be at home or the flower shop. Nothing better to do, really. I'm sure the school's occult club would be meeting up today, trying to contact the spirits of the dead. I tried talking to them through their little rituals once when this semi-solitude had started to really get to me. It was all fake; they didn't even notice me. Down on the streets, several cars were driving by the school building, going to and from wherever they had to be. I saw my friend's car among them. Heading away from her house.

My guess was that she had to be going to the flower shop. I swooped down from the roof, keeping close behind the car until it stopped at a red light and I could get in. Her mom was in the driver's seat, her baby sister behind the mom, and she herself in the passenger's seat. Carrying the flowers. They were white roses. I really hoped her boyfriend would like them; white roses were always my favorite flower.

We drove on through town. She and her mom were talking about things, but I tuned them out. Not like I'd be able to join the conversation if I heard them anyway. I just watched the town go by us out the car window. Sitting in the back of the car almost felt like I was alive again, when we'd go places together. But no, I was dead. And surprised. I knew where the boyfriend lived, but the car drove right past his street.

So where was she bringing those flowers? I had a good warm feeling about some possibilities, but...she hadn't even said my name for eight months. She hadn't acknowledged me in any way at all in six. But it turned out my hunch was right. I saw the gates to the local cemetery. We all got out of the car, and I followed my friend and her family, until we got to my grave.

I'd never actually seen it before today. It was a pretty surreal experience; seeing the big stone slab that indicated I was very much deceased. The inscription on my tombstone moved me now that I got to finally see it. “Gave her life to save another.” And my friend got down on her knees, and put the flowers right there in front of it. Those were for me. She even spoke.

“Sorry to leave you hanging.”

She used to always say that when she was late for something. Her saying it to me...I could almost feel my heart – or whatever (if anything) I had that represented one – beating again.

“We'll meet up again next year. Same spot, same time. Maybe someday we'll meet up forever. It hasn't been the same without you here. There's so much I want to tell you, and so much you've missed, but I don't even know where to start. Until next time.”

Then she kissed my grave. Today, I resolved. Today I'd finally try speaking to the living again. It took all of my courage to gather the strength to say it. Just one word. “Wait!”

…

…

No response. So this was it? I'd be stuck watching over her like some kind of stalker? Never to be really acknowledged except in annual visits?

Being dead sucked. I wanted to pass on already.
[divider1]
It's been 90 years. I'm still roaming this earth. I feel miserable, even though I should be happy. A lot has happened these last few decades. My friend and her boyfriend got married. They had kids, and then grandkids. Not one of them even knows I existed. I haven't spoken to anyone. I feel like I've completely lost my mind. I've even started talking to people and pretending they talked back.

My friend has been very happy for her lifetime, though. Now she's old. She turned 107 just the other day. Her husband died a few years ago from a heart attack. His ghost never showed up in this world. One of her kids got t-boned by a drunk driver not long after, and he died too. His ghost never showed up either. As for my friend...she wasn't looking so good. She was really old. I'm still amazed she ever made it this far. But she's been happy. Way happier than I could have ever been if she was the one who took that bullet instead of me.

She's been in the hospital for the last month; she's been sick. The doctors don't think she'll be leaving the hospital alive. I heard some of them say it's very likely that she'll die tonight. My gut says the same thing. That's why I haven't left this room. I want to be the very first person she sees when she goes. Every time the heart monitor beeped, I expected it to flatline afterwards.

BEEP.

BEEP.

BEEP.

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE...

This was it. She was dying. She was dying happily, though. She'd lived a very full life, full of smiles and good memories. And she was smiling, even with death staring her right in the eyes. That was all I could possibly want right now. That she die happily and content to go, not trembling and afraid like I went. As long as I knew that, I'd be fine leaving this world...
That was it. That was why I was here this whole time, wasn't it?
Suddenly, in the wall nearby, I saw a bright light. Pulling me in. That was where heaven was, wasn't it?

…

No. Dammit, no! I didn't stick with my friend for almost a century just to be forced away from her again now that she was finally about to join me! But that light – that vicious, heartless light – was pulling me toward it. This wasn't right! This wasn't how it was supposed to end! Why was the universe hell-bent on keeping me away from my friends!?
“Over here,” I heard a voice say. From behind me. From that light. I didn't want to look. I didn't want to, but even 90 years later, I knew that voice. I turned around, and there she was. My best friend...or her ghost, I suppose. She looked young again. She was holding her hand out to me. It was time to try again. Time to try speaking to someone again.
“Is that really you?” If we were supposed to go through there together...that was fine. Just as long as I didn't have to leave another poor soul to suffer like I did. I stepped toward the light and grabbed her hand. And she smiled.
“Sorry to leave you hanging.”[/spoiler]
[spoiler=Chronicle of a Pugilist's Redemption]

Chronicle of a Pugilist's Redemption

 
Never in one’s life is a moment more profound than one’s first encounter with death, an eternally impactful experience which scars the heart and taints the soul. Such was the nature of young Chen Yu’s first time seeing a human life being taken, with him standing helplessly as he watched the light fade from a man’s eyes, his soul separated from his body with the same, if not more, crudeness as his innards. Were it any other age, the child would probably have experienced fear and dread of exponentially higher magnitude, lost what remained of his sanity, and drowned in the shadowy abyss of existentialism. But for better or for worse, Yu lived in a time of primitive brutality, where death was commonplace and civilization a pitiful facade of human decency. Within this land where corruption reigned and the law was nonexistent, humanity gave birth to creatures who wore the face of man but possessed the soul of wicked demons.
 
Never more aware was Yu of this fact than the moment he stared into the cold, black eyes of the murderer who stood before him, ravenous and savage with an unmistakable bloodlust. Every aspect of this killer reminded him of an emotionless animal, from his large bulky frame to his long shaggy hair to the coat of deerskin draped around his broad shoulders, evoking the utmost fear from Yu. Any other child of Yu’s age would have immediately succumbed to their flight instincts. Yet, he remained there, glaring at the murderer with sharp eyes of anger and hatred.
 
“You bastard!” Yu shouted, his teeth chattering from the cold. “That was my father you just killed!”
 
The killer merely glanced at the child with an uninterested expression before swinging his curved steel sword to flick off the blood, sheathing his weapon into his scabbard, and walking away.
 
“You have to take responsibility for this!” Yu barked. “You can’t just leave me here!”
 
Ignoring the child’s words, the killer continued on his path through the snowy forest, strewn with tall, leafless trees.
 
“Are you listening to me?” the child roared fruitlessly. “You’re not getting away with this!”
 
Eliciting no reaction from the killer, Yu chased after him, continuing his loud exclamations and pleas, hoping that his voice would eventually outlast the man’s patience.
 
After half a day of following the killer, Yu found to his dismay that his continuous whining had virtually no effect on the man, who continued walking without paying any heed to the boy’s words, which grew softer and less frequent as his energy deteriorated with hunger and fatigue.
 
“Don’t you have anything to eat?” Yu complained. “I can’t ask my father for food because, you know, you freaking killed him!”
 
The killer’s pace failed to change, enraging the tired and agitated Yu.
 
“What the hell is your problem?” the boy shouted angrily. “You kill my father and leave me alone to fend for myself, not even giving me any money or food! Don’t you have any guilt for what you’ve done? You know what? Screw you! Damn you to hell! Damn your mother, your father, and everyone you’ve ever loved! If you’re even capable of love that is!”
 
Upon hearing these words, the man stopped in his tracks and turned around to face Yu, who was taken aback by the hostile look in his cold, dark eyes.
 
“Look here,” the killer said with a deep, threatening voice, “you-!”
 
“Watch out!” Yu suddenly interrupted, wearing a terrified expression as he pointed at something behind the man.
 
Spinning around, the killer’s eyes widened as he found his face several centimeters away from a downward-swinging blade. Reacting instinctively, the man turned his face to the side, following the course of the blade and swirling his body to fly over the falling sword. Floating midair, the man unsheathed his curved saber and made a wide circular swing, slashing his attacker in the chest and landing on his feet simultaneously with the thud of the corpse against the snow. 
 
“Wow!” Yu exclaimed, his face aghast. “You’re amazing!”
 
However, just as he spoke, the killer lunged at him with his saber, charging with such speed and ferocity that Yu couldn’t react other than by shutting his eyes. 
 
Seconds passed and Yu didn’t feel any pain, triggering his curiosity. Several seconds later, he felt something drip against his shoulder, something with a putrid smell that he had only recently come to recognize. Opening his eyes and glancing down at his shoulder, Yu yelped in shock and disgust as he saw the lifeless head of a middle-aged man less than a centimeter from his face, with a thick blade lodged into his profusely bleeding skull. 
 
“Oh my god,” Yu whimpered as the killer pulled back his weapon, freeing it from the dead man’s skull and causing his body to flop awkwardly onto the ground.
 
His heart beating with alarming intensity upon witnessing this gory display, Yu found himself lightheaded and nauseous, his eyes flickering as the world around him grew fuzzy. Losing his balance, Yu saw a wave of black fade over him as he lost consciousness.
 
Late in the evening, he awoke to the warmth and sound of a smoldering fire, nearly a meter away from him as he opened his eyes. Sitting upright and yawning groggily, Yu’s attention was directed towards a savory aroma which filled the air, arousing his appetite with the unmistakable scent of freshly cooked meat. His eyes bursting open, Yu found himself salivating from the sight of deer meat hanging over the fire on a rack of wooden branches, the fat sizzling and oil dripping into the flames. Sitting across from him was the shaggy-haired man he had been following all day, tearing away at a piece of meat.
 
“Can I,” Yu began, wiping a stream of drool from the side of his mouth as his stomach growled, “can I please have some?”
 
The man took another bite of his meat, ignoring the child. Interpreting this as a gesture of approval, Yu hurriedly grabbed the end of a branch and brought the meat to his mouth, blowing several times before sinking his teeth into the soft, rich venison. Unable to hold back his appetite, Yu devoured the piece he took and greedily grabbed another, smothering his face with juicy, oily meat. For the next few minutes, the two sat across from each other silently savoring their hefty meal without speaking a single word until the deer was reduced to bone.
 
“My name is Yu,” the boy said minutes later with a burp, “Chen Yu. What’s yours?”
 
Staring into the fire, the man gave no reply.
 
“Come on!” Yu whined. “I saved your life! The least you can do is tell me your name!”
 
Looking up at the boy, the killer gave an exasperated sigh.
 
“I’m Qian Feng,” he said sternly.
 
“Qian Feng,” Yu repeated. “That’s a pretty cool name, fitting for a warrior of your stature. You were freaking awesome when you fought those bandits today! Who taught you to fight like that?”
 
“No one,” Feng replied stoically.
 
“You mean you taught yourself?” the boy gasped. “You’re more amazing than I thought!”
 
Not saying a word, the man threw a branch into the fire.
 
“So Feng,” Yu began, “what do you do other than kill people?”
 
“People?” the man said, glaring at the boy. “The ones I kill aren’t people. They’re dirty, lawless animals who don’t deserve to live.”
 
“Does that include my father?” Yu asked with a dark expression.
 
“He tried to kill me,” Feng replied. “He got what he deserved.”
 
“Then what about you?” the boy pressed. “If you kill people, do you deserve to die?”
 
“Maybe,” Feng grumbled, throwing another branch into the fire.
 
“Then what if I try to kill you?” Yu asked. “What if I try to take revenge for my father? If you think you deserve to die, would you let me kill you?”
 
“I would kill you without a second thought,” Feng said.
 
“That’s just evil,” Yu remarked. “What does your family think of what you do? Did they teach you that?”
 
“I don’t have a family,” the man replied.
 
“Really?” the boy asked. “What about friends?”
 
“I’ve been by myself for as long as I remember,” Feng said coldly.
 
“How did you survive on your own this whole time?” Yu beckoned. “It’s you against the world!”
 
“It was by being alone that I managed to survive,” Feng replied. “I taught myself everything I needed to do to live in this harsh world, trusting no one but myself.”
 
“Don’t you think it’s better to be with other people?” Yu asked. “To keep you company? To protect you?”
 
“People are fickle,” Feng grumbled. “People betray each other without a second thought. The more of them around, the more dangerous it becomes.”
 
“I don’t think so,” Yu smiled. “If I wasn’t here with you, you wouldn’t be alive right now.”
 
His eyes widening ever so slightly, Feng turned his head away, rendered speechless.
 
“And if you weren’t there,” Yu continued, “I’d be dead too. See? People can help each other.”
 
Once more, Feng found himself in lack of a response.
 
“I know!” Yu exclaimed. “I can follow you in your travels! It’ll be safer for the both of us, not to mention more fun!”
 
“I’m warning you, kid,” Feng growled, “I don’t need your help. You’re just going to hold me back. Not to mention, I’m not the kind of person you should be hanging around.”
 
“Is that something you should say to someone who saved your life?” Yu smirked.
 
Gritting his teeth in agitation, Feng shot the boy a threatening glare.
 
“Come on,” Yu pleaded. “It’ll be fine. Plus, I’m one hell of a cook.”
 
“Do what you want,” Feng growled. “But don’t blame me if you die.”
 
With that, he kicked down the fire and hopped atop a tree, resting on a branch and leaning against the trunk as he prepared to sleep.
 
“Where am I supposed to sleep?” Yu asked, shivering from the touch of the snowy ground.
 
“Figure it out yourself,” Feng grunted as he closed his eyes and tilted his head back.
 
Positioning himself closer to the recently extinguished fire, Yu curled into a ball against the snow, wrapping his hands over his arms and trying to conserve as much heat as he could. With great effort and much shuddering, Yu managed to fall asleep sometime halfway through the night.
 
Early the next morning, Feng awoke planning to leave the kid as he slept. As he began walking away, however, he smelled something aromatic in the air, something that tempted his appetite despite the full meal he had eaten the previous night. Following the scent, Feng found himself staring at a fire not too far away from his first one, with the boy sitting next to it holding what looked like a pan.
 
“What are you doing?” Feng asked out of curiosity.
 
“Making soup,” Yu replied cheerfully. “Should be about done. Want some?”
 
The man was about to proclaim his refusal when he was suddenly handed a small warm bowl. After dipping his finger into the soup and tasting it for poison, Feng held the bowl up to his mouth and drank deeply. Immediately, he felt innervated and refreshed by the warm liquid as it traveled down his throat, stimulating his body as well as his taste buds. The boy did not lie when he said he could cook.
 
“Want more?” the boy asked, offering him another bowl.
 
Without saying a word, the man took it and gulped it down, closing his eyes and sighing satisfactorily.
 
“I’m glad you like it,” Yu grinned.
 
“How did you make it?” Feng asked. “It has so much flavor despite us being in the middle of nowhere.”
 
“That’s easy,” Yu smiled, seemingly happy to boast of his achievement. “I used the snow for water and the deer bones from last night as a soup base. I also threw in some herbs I managed to find growing on the ground to add to the flavor.”
 
“Where did you get a pan?” the man inquired further.
 
“Oh, I’ve always kept it in my bag,” Yu replied, his expression darkening. “My father and I traveled a lot and I cooked for us, so I needed to bring cooking supplies with me wherever we went.”
 
“I see,” Feng nodded, closing his eyes as a feeling of guilt coursed through him.
 
“Okay,” Yu said, hopping on his feet. “Now that we’ve eaten, let’s go.”
 
“Yeah,” Feng agreed.
 
Waiting until Yu finished cleaning and packing his supplies, Feng continued his path down the snowy forest, with the boy following closely behind. 
 
When they finally exited the forest by noon, the boy collapsed to his knees, panting from exhaustion.
 
“Finally!” he exclaimed. “We’re out of that damn forest! Now I can rest!”
 
“You don’t have very much stamina,” Feng said, shaking his head in frustration. “Didn’t I say you’d only be slowing me down?”
 
“I’m sorry I’m not a conditioned martial artist who travels all day without stopping!” Yu cried, huffing as he wiped the sweat from his brow.
 
“I’m sorry you aren’t too,” Feng muttered before continuing to walk.
 
“Wait!” Yu shouted. “Can’t we just take a tiny break?”
 
“There’s a village about a kilometer north of here,” Feng said. “We can rest then.”
 
Sighing deeply, Yu forced himself back on his feet and trudged behind the man, eliciting a small chuckle from Feng.
 
Upon reaching the village gates, the boy fell to his knees once more, panting and sweating twice as hard as before.
 
“I can’t go any further,” Yu whined. “We have to take a break.”
 
“I don’t know,” Feng smirked. “This village doesn’t really suit my tastes. Maybe we should walk to the next one.”
 
“Please,” Yu wailed, plopping on the ground, “just kill me now.”
 
“Don’t worry,” Feng said, “there’s an inn up ahead.”
 
“I can’t walk anymore,” Yu complained.
 
“So what?” Feng asked. “Do you expect me to just stand here and wait for you to recover your strength?”
 
“Carry me,” the boy requested, raising his arms.
 
“Are you an idiot?” Feng shouted. “Do I look like your father?”
 
Upon seeing a grown man yelling at a young child limping on the ground, the villagers all gave disapproving stares at Feng, whispering and gossiping about him amongst themselves. The man glared at Yu with a shaking fist as whispers of “bad father,” “neglect,” and “embarrassing” could be heard throughout the street, prompting a cheeky grin from the boy. Left with no other choice, Feng grabbed Yu by the waist and propped him up on his back, weakly smiling at the villagers in a sad attempt to improve their opinion of him.
 
When he reached the inn and requested a room, Feng immediately dropped the boy onto the bed, fuming over the embarrassment he had suffered at Yu’s hands.
 
“And I suppose you thought that was funny,” Feng growled.
 
“It was while it lasted,” Yu said as he chuckled.
 
“You need a lot more stamina than that if you want to travel with me,” Feng grunted, addressing the root of the problem.
 
“Maybe you should teach me kung fu then,” Yu suggested with a yawn.
 
“It’s not something you can learn in a week, month, or even a year,” Feng warned. “You have to-.”
 
Looking down, he found the boy snoring away on the bed, wearing a soft and peaceful expression on his face. Sighing to himself, Feng sat on his own bed, crossing his arms in frustration. However, when he looked at the boy’s gentle face as he slept, he couldn’t help but smile, feeling the anger towards Yu melt away in a matter of seconds.
 
“You really are a handful,” he said aloud, lying down on his own bed.
 
And so, it was in this manner that Feng and Yu traveled across China for almost a month, going from village to village without a set destination. Throughout this journey, Feng developed a fonder relationship with Yu, teaching him martial arts, teasing him, treating him as though he were a younger sibling. At first, he was convinced that the only reason he had allowed the boy to travel with him was his gratitude for saving his life, guilt for killing his father, or enjoyment of Yu’s cooking, but at some point, he came to realize that was beginning to like the boy. Then, at another point, the thought crossed his mind that he would like to travel with this boy forever, to see everything the world had to offer side by side, as brothers, friends, or whatever else they might have been.
 
But that wish would never come to pass.
 
The trouble began when they reached a particular village in the southeastern part of China, close to the capital of Lin’an. As he walked along the streets of the village, Feng noticed the people chattering quietly among themselves while staring at him with expressions of fear and disdain, generating a feeling of uneasiness from him. He even found the boy wearing a troubled look as he began to notice the whispering.
 
“What are they talking about?” Yu asked.
 
“I don’t know,” Feng replied, narrowing his eyes. “But I don’t like it.”
 
Arriving at the closest inn, Feng approached the manager, who seemed to be walking in large strides in a hurry to flee from him. Unfortunately for him, Feng easily caught up to him, placing his hand on the manager’s shoulder to stop him.
 
“I’d like a room with two beds,” he requested, glaring at the manager.
 
“I-I’m sorry,” the manager replied, quivering in fear. “I-I’m afraid we’re out of rooms.”
 
“What?” Yu exclaimed. “That’s obviously a lie! Look at how few people there are in this shabby joint!”
 
“I-I’m sorry!” the manager squealed, a bead of sweat rolling down his face. “I don’t want any trouble for my business! Please leave!”
 
“Trouble?” Yu asked, tilting his head in confusion. “What do you mean by trouble?”
 
At that moment, Feng realized what the man and all the other villagers were afraid of, causing him to furrow his brows in anxiety. Shaking his fist, Feng let go of the manager and turned around, walking out of the inn.
 
“Let’s go,” he said to the boy. “We’re not wanted here.”
 
Yu began to protest when he saw the terrifying look in Feng’s eyes, savage eyes he hadn’t seen since the first time they had met. Consumed with an icy feeling of fear, he began walking after the man, with each step carrying the weight of the foreboding atmosphere. And as they walked down the street, Feng felt his fist tightening with every whisper he heard from people he passed by, and his teeth gritting harder. Even when they took shelter in an abandoned wooden building they had managed to find in the outskirts of the village, this crushing feeling of dread continued to gnaw at them.
 
“Hey, I know what’ll lighten the mood!” Yu said suddenly “I’ll go to the market and buy some ingredients! Tonight we’ll eat a big feast!”
 
Raising his head, Feng gave the boy a small grin to acknowledge his efforts at cheering him up. As the boy dashed out the door with a gleeful smile on his face, Feng couldn’t help but laugh at the amount of energy Yu exhibited all the time.
 
What a nice kid,  he thought to himself. So pure and innocent. So much better than I was as a child.
 
Leaning back against a wooden pillar, Feng began to recount his early days, recollecting fond memories he had shared with people he didn’t even know he loved until they were gone. And as he traversed through the bright parts of memory lane, he eventually reached the moments of darkness, recounting the many mistakes he had made and the actions he regretted but knew he could never take back. Feng thought about how all these sad memories had made him cold, and turned him into an animal at one point. That was until he had met Yu, the light of his life which reignited his soul and melted his cold heart. The more he thought of the child, the more he dreaded the boy’s future, afraid that his purity would be tainted by the cruelty of the world, just as his had been. 
 
His ruminations continued until he heard the sound of the door creaking open. Looking up, he saw the boy walk in carrying a bag of groceries, wearing a downcast expression on his face.
 
“What’s wrong?” Feng asked worriedly.
 
“Oh nothing!” Yu said in surprise before forcing a smile. “Dinner will be ready in no time!”
 
That night the two of them ate quietly, sitting across from each other on the ground, intermittently spooning beef stew into their mouths without making any eye contact. Feng saw from the moment Yu walked in the door that his mind was somewhere else. But in moments like these, he didn’t know what to do. It had been so long since he had tried to cheer someone up that he’d forgotten how to do it.
 
“How is it?” the boy asked, giving another forced smile.
 
“It’s delicious,” Feng answered weakly, trying to reciprocate the smile.
 
“That’s good,” Yu said softly, his eyes lowering. “That’s good.”
 
Both returned to silence as they resumed their meal, staring awkwardly at the ground as they ate. Unable to bear the tension, Feng raised his head to speak when he was interrupted.
 
“I lied to you about something,” the boy said with a sad look in his eyes. “Something important.”
 
“What?” Feng asked with a serious yet non-threatening expression.
 
“That man you killed wasn’t my father,” Yu frowned. “He was a thief I followed around to get by in life.”
 
One tension in the air disappeared, replaced by another with equal, if not more, pressure, silencing both once more. It wasn’t until a minute later that someone spoke.
 
“I know,” Feng replied, causing the boy’s eyes to widen. “Someone like that couldn’t have raised such a good kid as you.”
 
“There’s something else,” he said, his fingers trembling. “I didn’t follow you because I liked you or anything. It was because I lost the person keeping me alive and I had to do whatever I could to make you my new safekeeper.”
 
“And?” the man asked, sipping another spoonful of stew.
 
“Do you regret letting me stay with you?” the boy asked, his eyes glistening with moisture.
 
“What are you talking about?” Feng replied, trying to give a smile. “Of course not! I haven’t eaten such good food in years!”
 
“You have no reason to let me stay with you anymore,” Yu said with a melancholy expression. “You can tell me to leave right now if you want.”
 
“Did the beef turn your brain into a cow’s?” Feng teased. “You’re worrying too much. Nothing’s changed. If I didn’t want you with me, I would’ve killed you a long time ago. Now stop talking about this nonsense and go to bed.”
 
Putting down his bowl and lying on his side, Yu closed his eyes and tried to sleep.
 
“Feng?” he said moments later. “When I wake up in the morning, will you be gone? Will I never see you again?”
 
“Don’t be stupid,” the man smiled, caressing the boy’s head. “I’ll never leave you. Our journey will never end.”
 
With that, he stood up and blew out the candles, sitting down against a wooden pillar afterwards and closing his eyes.
 
“Feng?” the boy said once more.
 
“Hmm?” Feng responded, his eyes still closed.
 
“You said you don’t trust anyone but yourself,” Yu said softly. “Is that still true?”
 
“Go to sleep,” the man smirked.
 
Minutes later, the boy spoke again.
 
“Feng?”
 
But there was no response. He had already drifted off into slumber.
 
“Goodnight Feng,” Yu said with a weak smile, tears streaming down the side of his face.[/spoiler]

[Night]

1 

 

I feel like this one didn't really go anywhere, it definitely felt like more of a conceptual piece. Which I was definitely intrigued by, though that doesn't really do much on it's own to alleviate my qualms. 

 

Of the three this one's definitely the most interesting, but again, where's the story.

 

A lot of the "story" is essentially hinted at, which I do appreciate, though it leaves little to actually be analyzed in regards to the writing and story-telling. It's especially difficult when everything else is just as vague, from the character(s) to the over-arching progression of the story. 

 

in conclusion, good conceptually, messy in terms of execution. 

 

2

 

Not bad, though it did definitely feel bare. Exploring the intricacies of the dilemma at hand would have proven to be more interesting, at least to me. Instead we kind of just got a re-used concept that never really brought much to the table. 

 

About 90% of the story was essentially a lead-up to the last 10%, which isn't all bad but considering the fact that nothing interesting actually happened during all of that time - it just doesn't contribute anything of worth outside of the obvious. 

 

Though the ending did wrap up the story nicely and it at least felt whole, which is good. 

 

"Even ghosts can sleep, after all. Too bad we can't dream."

 

That was intriguing, to me, I'd have liked for that concept to be explored. 

 

Your story-telling's got potential, don't be afraid to deviate from the path every once and a while. 

 

3

 

I'll be honest, as good as the intro was, I wasn't into it at first. I did however end up thoroughly enjoying the story as it progressed. 

 

The story's pros come from it's natural progression and the minimalistic dialogue between the two characters. Both of which couple nicely to create realistic and intriguing characters that are molded by one another and carry the story where it falters. 

 

The simplistic and relatively straight-forward design makes for a rather unambitious narrative, though that comes with the territory it seems. Overall, the story did what it was crafted to do, and it does it rather well.

 

"One tension in the air disappeared, replaced by another with equal, if not more, pressure, silencing both once more."

 

Writing's pretty good too.

 

3 gmv

[Night]

 

Oh, right, I forgot, but I ask you guys to rate them each out of ten for an easy method of determining a winner. Kinda like judges on idk some talent show or something.

 

1 - 6/10

2 - 6.5/10

3 - 7.8/10

[Aerion Brightflame]

1 - 6/10

2 - 6.7/10

3 - 7/10

 

I'll post some critical reviewing of the pieces a few days after the contest ends, partially because if I need some time to mediate my criticism (Or else I'd be overly hard), and partially because I have some other commitments to finish first. 

 

But well done to all for participating. 

[Aix]

I may as well conclude this.

 

The placement is:

1. Chronicle of a Pugilist's Redemption by Crimson Blaze
2. Sorry to Leave You Hanging by Yui
3. The Cost of Living by CowCow

Prizes have been delivered through ACP.

[Thar]

I'm hoping there will be another one of these. I'll try to participate then.

[Frybread002]

I gotta admit, I've always been curious about these writing contests. Are the deadlines still open?