(GigaDrillBreaker) Posted July 3, 2015 Report Share Posted July 3, 2015 Anger isn't an emotion that I focus on very often. It is a very real thing, and on occasion, it gets the best of me. I lose track of what is going on, I stop caring about what I want, and I just start lashing out at everyone. I wish I could say it was like I am blacking out, but I am fully conscious of what is going on. I revel in it. I can't help but enjoy the feeling of letting loose at everyone I care about, because they hurt me. It is wonderfully relieving. But I know it is wrong. The people I care about don't deserve it, but it is like they don't even care. I know I sound like an edgy teenager, but I am legitimately crying as I type all this sheet out and it just makes me even angrier, that I can't deal with this sheet on my on and have to come weeping to some funking website filled with people who have their own problems to deal with. It just is so funking frustrating. I have always had problems with self esteem. Problems with confidence. But even so, I manage to carve out a self image that I really like. I am kind, and when it comes down to it I concern myself with others and am compassionate, but otherwise, I act very sarcastically. It is just how I am. And it isn't like I am incredibly bitter all the time, I have asked people and they say that my snarkiness is a good kind, that I am fun to have around. I am feeling really funking good about myself right about now. But then, the people I really care about say that my attitude is rude, and that I act arrogant and have a big ego. I am funking skilless. What the funk would I even be arrogant about? It is just so frustrating. I finally got to where I was liking myself, and then the people who I actually give a sheet about go out and tell me I am doing everything wrong. Like I am supposed to go back to the pathetic little jabroni I used to be, who did nothing but kiss ass and throw around meaningless compliments. I like who I am, and no harm comes from it, so why can't you just let me be? I am so close. I am so close to just stomping out and yelling at everyone and telling them that I don't care what they think but the really frustrating part is that I do care. It is tearing me apart that people want me to be a person I hate being. Like, they say they like me for who I am, that I am a nice guy, but if they don't want me to act like myself, that just means they only like the prim and perfect version of me they made up in their head, and they don't give a sheet about the actual person. It just hurts so damn much and I am pissed the funk off at literally everyone. I just don't want to be fake. Most of the people reading this will just be thinking "oh that kid is being emo again" and the rest will just do some little snippet to make themselves feel better but don't really give a sheet at the core, because I am just some guy on the internet, complaining about feelings. It all just pisses me off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cosmo. Posted July 3, 2015 Report Share Posted July 3, 2015 Since i've been recently playing Persona 4, i can say that you're basically facing your own shadow, your dark feelings and thoughts deep inside of you are getting out and taking over yourself. Don't try to battle them, just accept them, everyone has a darker side, and sometime letting that side win over yourself is normal. Now go and grab something to calm down, and you can maybe tell us more, we can try and sort this out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LordCowCowCowCowCowCowCowCow Posted July 3, 2015 Report Share Posted July 3, 2015 *looks at time posted* I hope things are feeling better right now, cause it sounds like things just came to a head. If you need to talk about it more message me, alright? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.