Venom Whitesnake - generic "Venom" Rank4

[Darj]

2 Level 4 monsters
Once per turn, during either player's turn: You can detach 1 Xyz Material from this card, then target 1 face-up monster your opponent controls; place 1 Venom Counter on it, and if you do, it loses 500 ATK and, this turn, it cannot activate its effects, also (eveb if this card leaves the field) it loses 500 ATK during each player's End Phase and it is destroyed if its ATK becomes 0 by this effect. If a monster is destroyed by the effect of a "Venom" card: You can target 1 face-up monster your opponent controls; place 1 Venom Counter on it, and if you do, (even if this card leaves the field) it loses 500 ATK during each player's End Phase and it is destroyed if its ATK becomes 0 by this effect.

I made this after someone dropped a joke on creating a Rank4 tied to the "Venom" archetype but is generic and splashable, referencing "Traptrix Rafflesia". But I thought it was a actually a clever and legit idea.

Putting it simply, this is a quick effect pseudo-BTS, in that it locks effect by preventing the opponent from activating them, while carrying the gimmick of Venom Swamp: drop 500 ATK every turn and destroy the monster when said ATK reaches 0. Needless to say, this won't negate continuous effect, and unlike BTS, Veiler, etc. chaining this effect to a monster's effect activation won't negate it.

Disclaimer: This card is intended to be close to the level of Traptrix Rafflesia, hence the balance-wise questionable Quick effect pseudo-BTS. But if I wanted to be more fair, I guess I could make it require Reptiles as material, turning it into a kind of Zerofyne for Reptiles.

The second effect feels redundant and awkward, but is more for flavor really: if a monster is successfully destroyed by this card's effect OR "Venom Swamp", this gets to "spread" the venom on other monsters, potentially forming slow and situational destruction chains.


Thoughts?

[Mugendramon]

it can't be chained to effects, that's a good bit of power lost in exchange for hitting a few extra things; it's leagues easier to bait.

[Trebuchet MS]

It creates a localized lingering effect that continues to act even after this card leaves the field?

[Darj]

it can't be chained to effects, that's a good bit of power lost in exchange for hitting a few extra things; it's leagues easier to bait.

 

So... the card is fine, or it could be better?

 

It creates a localized lingering effect that continues to act even after this card leaves the field?

Yes, that's the intention. Once the counter is placed, the target will lose ATK every EP, even if this card leaves the field.

[Toffee.]

Wouldn't you want to note that the ATK drain n' sheet stays even after This card leaves the field? I mean, a few other cards did that, but still...

Or would you want this to be like a Fiendish Chain of sorts, in which it only works for while it's on the field?

[Darj]

The former. I didn't think the PSCT was necessary, but I can add it; better to keep things clear.

[Darj]

Yeeah, this card being generic is part of its original concept. And yes, I could change it to be more of a Gorgonic Guardian for Level 4 Reptiles, but I would be straying away from the original intention; I guess I could reserve the idea for another card.