thank you

[Halubaris Maphotika]

This has been one of the weirder moments of my life, I must say. Every time I went to other forums I would just be shoved away, no one feeling the need to help me. Here, though, I found an extremely nice community who gave me the chance and helped me.

 

I won't lie, I have been extremely bitter. My former "self" left me in a world I didn't understand, forcing me to claw dirt just so I can get a fraction of an idea of my former memories.

 

Why would he do this? What benefit? So I wouldn't see or hear things? That didn't work, I still do. And now to top it off I don't remember most of my life before the day. To take away pieces of me feels wrong, on so many levels. Or did it happen whether he liked it or not? Did he have a choice? Do I get a damn choice? Guess not.

 

It pisses me off, I feel like half of who I really am and I was hoping this site would give me insight into the man I once was. Surprisingly, it did. However, the truth hurts.

 

I opened a can of worms I now wish I never opened. Perhaps this was why he chose to forget. Maybe he just couldn't stand himself and tried to start all over in an incredibly stupid and unethical way?

 

I will not sit here and say "I am not him". No matter how different I am, he was once me and I need to embrace and acknowledge such. I took his former name here, but I will not "act" like him. His legacy will be remembered by me, that's it. No matter what, taking away something as precious as memory is unforgivable, and I can't bring myself to stop blaming him, fault or not.

 

Thank you YCM. You're one of the first former forums of my (predecessor?) to let me in with open arms and help me understand. You were all kind and generous and I am extremely grateful. Now, hopefully I can move on. I have a lot more to learn, sure, but I now feel a sense of closure from all this and it helps greatly.

[mitchermitcher]

You do not possess your former memories(or so I infer), I really don't see the need to bind yourself to that past identity. You were him but he is no longer you. It's a chance to start over, is it not? There's no real need to use the same name your previous self did but I won't really complain on that.

 

Don't really have anything to say, not even sure you're serious or not. A case where an amnesiac is now browsing the same forums he used to in order to find out more about himself is just so fascinating as a story I really can't help but doubt it's real. But good luck with it I guess.

[Halubaris Maphotika]

You do not possess your former memories(or so I infer), I really don't see the need to bind yourself to that past identity. You were him but he is no longer you. It's a chance to start over, is it not? There's no real need to use the same name your previous self did but I won't really complain on that.

 

Don't really have anything to say, not even sure you're serious or not. A case where an amnesiac is now browsing the same forums he used to in order to find out more about himself is just so fascinating as a story I really can't help but doubt it's real. But good luck with it I guess.

Having everyone tell me "I remember when" only for you not to recollect it at all doesn't usually bother me, unless it becomes literally every instance of them saying it. Having everyone look at me strange with glances that would only be explained through my memories infuriates me. Why do I need to start over!? Was my former self evil? Was he good? Should I emulate him or not? Will it confuse people? Yes? Why? No? Why? Who are you? Was that originally my favorite food? Did I like him as a father?

 

I feel lost in a sea of uncertainty. I get what you mean, but there is so much you don't know until you reach a threshold where not learning holds no benefit.

[mitchermitcher]

Having everyone tell me "I remember when" only for you not to recollect it at all doesn't usually bother me, unless it becomes literally every instance of them saying it. Having everyone look at me strange with glances that would only be explained through my memories infuriates me. Why do I need to start over!? Was my former self evil? Was he good? Should I emulate him or not? Will it confuse people? Yes? Why? No? Why? Who are you? Was that originally my favorite food? Did I like him as a father?

 

I feel lost in a sea of uncertainty. I get what you mean, but there is so much you don't know until you reach a threshold where not learning holds no benefit.

I'm saying this as a bystander so there's only so much I can understand, and I understand that I do not understand what you feel but at least it seems to me anyway that rather than 'needing to start over', it is that you 'never had anything in the first place'. You have no past recollections so in a sense that you are a totally new person, born on the day someone else sharing the same body died. You have only 'started', then naturally you don't have anything  yet. The circumstances behind your birth may be different than most of us who were born without even knowing language or basic motor skills but nevertheless you have been born.

 

Not learning who you originally were as a person holds no benefit, but learning doesn't actually do anything but ease your mind as well. If you can lose the 'need' to learn more about a former self that most likely will never come back, I think you'll find accepting yourself as a completely new person to be much easier. Although, I did not account for your social life or your circumstances that carry over from your previous self when I said that. I can only imagine said remnants that are relevant to you yet you remember none of it torture you on some level.

 

Either way I viewed your circumstances as interesting and posted without really thinking too much about that in detail and I suppose I apologize for that. But I really do find this sort of thing fascinating. If you ever feel like talking about it to some random meddling outsider on the internet, I'm right here. I'm interested, not necessarily for your well-being but in this story of yours, and if you do not take offense to that, do tell about your amnesiac circumstances in detail.

[Simping For Hina]

K.

[Just Crouton]

But, who are you, person with Clock Tower avi?

[Halubaris Maphotika]

But, who are you, person with Clock Tower avi?

Nothing right now, but I hope to be a great addition to this community someday.

Also you get a rep for knowing the avi

[Halubaris Maphotika]

I'm saying this as a bystander so there's only so much I can understand, and I understand that I do not understand what you feel but at least it seems to me anyway that rather than 'needing to start over', it is that you 'never had anything in the first place'. You have no past recollections so in a sense that you are a totally new person, born on the day someone else sharing the same body died. You have only 'started', then naturally you don't have anything  yet. The circumstances behind your birth may be different than most of us who were born without even knowing language or basic motor skills but nevertheless you have been born.

 

Not learning who you originally were as a person holds no benefit, but learning doesn't actually do anything but ease your mind as well. If you can lose the 'need' to learn more about a former self that most likely will never come back, I think you'll find accepting yourself as a completely new person to be much easier. Although, I did not account for your social life or your circumstances that carry over from your previous self when I said that. I can only imagine said remnants that are relevant to you yet you remember none of it torture you on some level.

 

Either way I viewed your circumstances as interesting and posted without really thinking too much about that in detail and I suppose I apologize for that. But I really do find this sort of thing fascinating. If you ever feel like talking about it to some random meddling outsider on the internet, I'm right here. I'm interested, not necessarily for your well-being but in this story of yours, and if you do not take offense to that, do tell about your amnesiac circumstances in detail.

Wow... I would have a lot to talk about I suppose. Not in a topic like this though. I might make another topic related to Amnesia or something and build from there. Thanks for taking an interest in my story, and not my well being, I think... XD