[Serious] Growing up.

[Resident Fascist]

Man how long I've waited to post this. So recently I've been wanting to make a change in my life, and well, it's pretty much to grow up. To be honest, I've completely wasted the nearly 19 years I've been around by being a complete social outcast who would rather lock themselves in a room and play games all day, rather than actually having some sort of social life. Whilst I have always been socially inept to a degree, I feel I suffer much less than the majority of ASD people with actual talking to people, it's just that I lack very much conversational skills. Talking over people by mistake, repeating myself, making no sense, that sort of thing. While it's not explictly related to my attempts for want of a better term, grow up, it is something I need to learn at some point.

 

I've pretty much wasted so much of my time being far too into things, I'm the worst type in that regard, I'm insanely obsessive yet also enormously indecisive. I can never get anything done due to both of these. My attention span for some things is so incredibly long yet for others I have no patience. The way my brain functions as a whole is like that, but I hope to change this, too. And finally, I've spent too much time being a gutteral obnoxious twit to the majority of people and I hope to become somewhat of a self-respecting person. I seem to deal only in absolutes, I either have no confidence or so much confidence I'm obnoxious. I apologize too much in an attempt to appear sincere yet come across as timid and shrewd.

[Aerion Brightflame]

The easiest way to learn to be social is simply to get out there and be social. 

 

It's sounds super hard in theory, and I understand that it is, but there's really no other way to do it but starting to be social. Even if it's just small things, talking to one person about something stupid, eventually it just kinda settles in and you become okay at it. You'll probably still be quiet, but not to the degree where it cripples you. People are actually surprisingly understanding about others being quiet on the whole, so you should never feel pressured to fit into conversation as well as people are just naturally adept at it. And if you are feeling that, then you are probably associating with people who aren't right for you. 

 

Just to say; There's a huge difference between growing up and becoming social. The two aren't that closely related either, I know people who are incredibly social but still a long way away from 'growing up' and I know people who are incredibly mature despite being awful socially. 

 

You shouldn't let this process stress you out; It kinda defeats the point of it. Because it implies there's something wrong with being introverted; and that's not the case. I'm a pretty social person by the standards of YCM, but I'm still an introverted person. It doesn't really matter if you are introverted or extroverted, just find a level of social interaction you are comfortable with, and then push it little by little. A slow steady progress, and you'll be amazed how social you can end up being. 

[Tourmaline]

However you were before doesn't matter. Just work toward reaching whatever idea of happiness you have and you'll be totally fine. That's all there is to it.

[Spinny]

I think it's less to do with growing up and more to with just realising what you actually want to do next, you haven't wasted anything.

I could buy something one week and then the next week think " Damn I shouldve gotten something else that I like more now" but really I haven't wasted anything, just realised I want something different for that space of time if you get what I mean.