Knight of Raidant Dawn - Gurguit

[Thomas★Zero]

[spoiler=Effect]2 Level 8 Monsters

Must be Xyz Summoned and cannot be Special Summoned by other ways. During the Battle Phase, this card is unaffected by your opponent's card effects. After this card attacks: you can detach 1 Xyz Material from this card; this card can declare an second attack this turn on an opponents monster. While their is a Fusion or Synchro Monster attached to this card as a Xyz Material, increase this card's ATK by 1000 and it gains the following effect.

* If this card attacks a Defense Position monster, inflict piercing battle damage to your opponent.

 

[ÆƵ–]

Let's try and fix some OCG here

 

 

 

2 Level 8 Warrior-Type Monsters
Must be Xyz Summoned and cannot be Special Summoned by other ways. During the Battle Phase, this card is unaffected by your opponent's card effects. After this card attacks: you can detach 1 Xyz Material from this card; this card can declare an additional attack this turn. While their is a Fusion or Synchro Monster attached to this card as a Xyz Material, increase this card's ATK by 1000 and it gains the following effect.
* If this card attacks a Defense Position monster, inflict piercing battle damage to your opponent.

 

There we go. Keep in mind that if an effect doesn't activate, it doesn't need any colons. 

 

Now then, onto a review. There aren't too too many decks that could run this to the fullest. Firstly, Level 8 Warriors are both uncommon and highly valuable, with only 56 existing as of now. There's a lot of fusions of them, but they're mostly HERO fusions, and not necessarily the good ones. Synchros, there's a few, but they either want to stay on the field or be destroyed, not be Xyz mats. Keeping that in mind, the effect is actually still pretty redic. Being able to make up to 3 attacks in one battle phase with a 4000 effect immune piercer is nucking futs, especially since the last swing can be a direct attack.

 

Honestly, this card is so niche that it's bad, but at the same time way too powerful. I'd recommend relaxing the material requirements a bit and toning down the effect, perhaps putting a monster only clause on the multi attack and bumping the multi attack down to 2 max. 

[Thomas★Zero]

Let's try and fix some OCG here

 

 

There we go. Keep in mind that if an effect doesn't activate, it doesn't need any colons. 

 

Now then, onto a review. There aren't too too many decks that could run this to the fullest. Firstly, Level 8 Warriors are both uncommon and highly valuable, with only 56 existing as of now. There's a lot of fusions of them, but they're mostly HERO fusions, and not necessarily the good ones. Synchros, there's a few, but they either want to stay on the field or be destroyed, not be Xyz mats. Keeping that in mind, the effect is actually still pretty redic. Being able to make up to 3 attacks in one battle phase with a 4000 effect immune piercer is nucking futs, especially since the last swing can be a direct attack.

 

Honestly, this card is so niche that it's bad, but at the same time way too powerful. I'd recommend relaxing the material requirements a bit and toning down the effect, perhaps putting a monster only clause on the multi attack and bumping the multi attack down to 2 max.

Made edits as you advised.