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Micheal Fudo vs Paradox


krspaceT1

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In a even more futuristic Neo Domino

 

On the daedulus bridge, a dark red duel runner, sort of like Yusei's, flew down late at night, with a odd lack of traveling cars. The person on the runner had a blue racing suit with red shoulder pads. A yusei like disk was on the runner. His brown eyes were focused, his burgundy hair, with yellow highlighting flashed in the wind. He then spotted the person he was looking for, a large white runner, driven by a oddly clad man.

 

"Paradox!" he yelled. The masked man turned his head back towards him.

 

"So, if it isn't my young friend" he smirked in content. "I'm sorry, but I'm a few decades late for my appointment" his duel runner started to pick up speed.

 

"Oh no you don't!" the boy smirked, pressing a button.

 

"Speed World 2, ON!" both of the runners entered duel mode.

 

"Really that determined to lose" Paradox smirked. "Very well, I needed to test this deck out"

 

"Caution a duel is commencing,a duel is commencing,a duel is commencing, Central Lane chosen" a annoying announcer voice hollered. A red barrier formed, as they were herded into a long stretch of road.

 

"DUEL!"

 

Both 4000

 

"The first move is mine!" Paradox smirked.

 

"You may have some famous parents, Micheal Fudo, but that's not helping you today, first I set two cards face down, and next I remove my deck's Elemental Hero Neos, to summon Malefic Neos!"(OC monster) a evil version of neos with a black and white mask appeared in attack mode (2500, 2000).

 

(Dark, Level 7, 2500, 2000 This card cannot be Normal Summoned or Set. This card can only be Special Summoned by removing from play 1 Elemental Hero Neos from your Deck. There can only be 1 face-up Malefic monster on the field. Other monsters you control cannot attack. If there is no face-up Field Spell Card on the field, destroy this card.)

 

"Now, since I just removed a monster for a card effect, I activate this special trap that can only activate when a monster is removed for a summoning of a malefic monster, even on the turn it was set, go Malefic Override" (OC continous trap card showing Malefic Blue Eyes, rainbow Dragon and Stardust Dragon battling their original selves over a destroyed city).

 

"With this card's power, first any monster, including the one I just removed by the effect of a Malefic monster, are instead placed in my grave. If my monster is destroyed by battle, the corresponding card in placed on the bottom of your deck, and in exchange,you get dealt damage by the monsters level times 100."

 

"Not bad" Micheal commented.

 

"But next, I think I'll summon Dark Mimic level 1 in defense mode!" a blue box with teeth appeared. (100, 1000).

 

"Next, I play speed spell, Level up! Now, if i have a level monster on my field, I can upgrade him" the little box was replaced by a bigger one.

 

"Dark Mimic, Level 3 (1000, 1000), I think that's enough for now"

 

"My draw!" the boy smirked.

 

"I'll start, with discarding one card" he discarded his Speed Warrior. "To summon, Quickdraw Synchron!" a tuner in a cowboy get up appeared in attack mode (700, 1400).

 

"Next, I normal summon, my Dark Verger in attack mode!" a plant with two eyes on its leaves appeared in attack mode (0, 0).

 

"Now, since my Quickdraw can count as other synchron monsters, its time to tune!" Quickdraw shot his gun into the air, exploding as he did, covering Dark Verger in 5 green rings, with dark verger becoming transparent with two stars.

 

"Rise!" a flash of light

 

"Nitro Warrior!" a large blue warrior with anger issues appeared in attack mode (2800, 1800).

 

"Nitro Warrior, attack!" the warrior flew with a fiery contrail straight into Malefic neos, smashing him with a punch.

 

Paradox 3800

 

"Remember my trap, well if you don't!" a blast of purple light struck Micheal, causing him to cringe.

 

Micheal 3300

 

"Well, in case you don't remember, since my Nitro Warrior destroyed a card in battle, I can change your defense monster into attack mode, and attack again..."

 

"Normally yes, but I activate Skill Drain!" a creepy purple fog descended upon the field, engulfing all the monsters.

 

"Now, by paying 1000 life points, all effects in play are negated, and this card lasts for as long as it isn't destroyed, so sorry but your warrior is stupefied!"

 

Paradox 2800

 

"I'm not impressed, and with that I place a card face down to end my turn"

 

As they biked past a large billboard, with large wanted images for Valdimore and Bellatrix Lestrange, as well as another advertising "Tonto Co brand shaving cream", Paradox began his turn.

 

"My draw!"

 

"Now, I send to my grave the monster called Elemental Hero Flame Wingman, to summon Malefic Flame Wingman!" a dark version of Jaden's favorite monster rose in attack mode, with a black and white mask on his head and on his dragon arm ( OC 2100, 1200).

 

(Dark, Level 5 Warrior; This card cannot be Normal Summoned or Set. This card can only be Special Summoned by removing from play 1 "Elemental hero Flame Wingman" from your Extra Deck. There can only be 1 face-up "Malefic" monster on the field. Other monsters you control cannot attack. If there is no face-up Field Spell Card on the field, destroy this card. If this monsters destroys a opponents monster by battle, and sends it the graveyard, deal the destroyed monsters original attack points to its owner as damage)

 

"Next, I also send my deck's Blue Eyes to the grave, in order to call Malefic Blue eyes white dragon!" a evil blue dragon rose into the air (3000, 2000).

 

"Now, you see the power of my deck! Two all powerful monsters, and thanks to skill drain, its all possible! With it, their effects to be alone are negated!"

 

"I do, but also I see its defeat" Micheal smirked.

 

"Very well, Blue Eyes, Paradox Lightning!" a blast of blue light flew straight as Nitro warrior.

 

"Go, Scrap Iron Scarecrow!" a metal scarecrow blocked the attack.

 

"That's your father's oldest trick, I'm not impressed" Paradox smirked as he ended his battle phase.

 

"I activate, the Infinity Destructinator speed spell (OC spell card showing a green blue infinity symbol piercing Stardust Dragon, Colossal Fighter and Gaia Knight, the Force of Earth, with light of the same color).

 

"Now, by giving up 2 speed counters when I have at least 3, I can remove from play a synchro monster on your field, and in exchange, you regain the non tuners you used to make it" a blue light pierced Nitro Warrior, sending him into a swirling vortex, as Dark Verger replaced it.

 

"And finally, I remove from play from my hand, Infiinity Skill Flagger (OC ) a monster just made of a mask like Paradox's with two large red and white flags behind it jumped into a remove from play vortex

 

(dark level 1, 0, 0 When you have the skill drain trap card out, you can remove this card. As long as this card is removed from play, your opponent is not affected by Skill Drain, and in exchange, this card's owner draws two cards each turn. Malefic Monsters also regain their effects, aside from their rule on being only one Malefic Monster in play)

 

"My draw!" Micheal said calmly.

 

"I activate, my speed spell one for one" he activated his spell.

 

"By removing 4 speed counters" he slowed down, getting a good look at the nearby billboards saying Krusty Krab; Home of the Krabby Patty, a inter world delicacy and for Dexlabs "I can discard a card from my hand, and summon a monster from my deck at level 1" he discarded his GigaPlant, as Stardust Xialong curled up on his field (100, 100).

 

"Next, I summon Hyper Synchron in attack mode!" the blue cybernetic being rose in attack mode (1600, 800).

 

"Now, I tune level 4 Hyper Synchron and Level 2 Dark Verger!" Four glowing lights burst out of a hatch on Hyper Synchron's chest, as he vanished. The lights turned into four green rings, which surrounded Dark Verger. He became transparent with two glowing stars again.

 

"I synchro summon, Splendid rose!" the blond haired girl with half black and half green clothing, with vines everywhere and roses above her feet, spun in attack mode 2200, 2000).

 

"I activate my Rose's special ability, by removing my Gigaplant from the grave, I can cut the attack of your Malefic Blue eyes in half!" a vine surrounded the evil Blue eyes (1500, 1000).

 

"Now, Attack, Wonder thorn!" the monster used a rose like a whip to strike down the trapped dragon.

 

Paradox 2100

 

"You fool! Now, your taking some damage, and a free loader!" her deck gained Blue eyes as a purple light struck Micheal again.

 

Micheal 2500

 

"Now, for my monsters other effect, by removing dark verger from play, she can attack again by cutting her points in half, so now your dark mimic shall also get some!" his monster swung her whip, striking the purple box, and Paradox. Paradox cringed, feeling a cut on his arm where the rose's whip hit him.

 

"You should know, when Dark mimic is destroyed, I can draw a card"

 

"I see, you are a freak like your mother" he smirked. "My move, and I activated the effect of speed spell, Bypass destroyer" (OC card showing Speed Warrior Kicking the head of Dark Grepher before he could draw his sword). "This spell activates in my draw phase when I draw it, instead of gaining a speed counter. Now, your strongest monster is destroyed!" a speed blast hit and destroyed Splendid Rose.

 

"No!"

 

"Yes! Paradox smiled as he also drew his extra card.

 

"Now, I send from my extra deck to my grave, Chimera the Flying mythical beast, to summon Malefic Chimera the Flying Mythical Beast!" a two headed creature, with a snake tail, all these heads covered in black and white masks, with armored wings, flew in from a dark vortex (OC, 2100, 1800)

 

(Dark, Level 6 Beast; This card cannot be Normal Summoned or Set. This card can only be Special Summoned by removing from play 1 "Chimera the Flying Mythical Beast" from your Extra Deck. There can only be 1 face-up "Malefic" monster on the field. Other monsters you control cannot attack. If there is no face-up Field Spell Card on the field, destroy this card. If this monster is destroyed and sent to the graveyard, and sent to the graveyard, summon forth a Malefic with equal or less attack points then this card,ignoring the summoning conditions)

 

"I have made malefic copies of the greatest cards ever made!" Paradox gloated as his two great monster stared down at Xialong. "And with them, I will change history!"

 

"I don't think so" Micheal smirked.

 

"Well then, Malefic monsters aren't my deck's only cards, I now remove Dark Mimic Level 1 and Chimera, sorry your not getting him today" his two monsters flew into a vortex "to summon, Dark Simorgh!" a giant black bird flew up from the air in attack mode (2700, 1000) "And now, thank's to my monsters ability, you can't set any card!"

 

"Now, Attack Chimera!" the monster charged at the small dragon.

 

"Go, scrap iron scarecrow!" the attack was bounced off.

 

"Well then, Dark Simigroth!" a dark whirlwind hit the dragon.

 

"Yes, I am aware that your little dragon has to be beat twice, that's why I have him!" Malefic Flame wingman burned through the dragon, and Micheal got the extra fire.

 

Micheal 2400

 

"That's enough for now" Paradox smirked, as they drove past another wanted sign, with Megatron and Azula's image on them, as well as a sign for Jurassic Park Domino"

 

"MY draw!" he yelled.

 

"And with that, I summon my Junk Synchron to the field in attack mode (1300, 500).

 

"Now, I can revive a monster from my graveyard that's level 2 or below, so welcome back, Speed Warrior in defense mode!" (900, 400)

 

"Junk Warrior can't help you now" Paradox commented..

 

"Oh maybe he can't, but not before I activate, Speed Spell, Angel Baton! Now, I can draw two cards, as long as I send one to the grave" he discarded Quilbolt Hedgehog.

 

"And since I have a tuner in play, I can call my Hedgehog from beyond the grave in attack mode!" A hedgehog with bolts for quils rose in attack mode! (800, 800).

 

"Now, I tune level 3 junk Synchron!" his tuner broke himself apart into three green rings.

 

"With level 2 Speed Warrior and Quilbolt Hedgehog!" the monsters jumped into a burst of light.

 

"To summon, my mother's favorite, BLACK ROSE DRAGON!" the flower themed dragon roared as it appeared in a flash of dark light (2400, 1800).

 

"Oh boy" Paradox chuckled "I have a chance to get a scan of that card too" his duel runner started to glow purple

 

"I don't think so, because when Black Rose Dragon is summoned, I can destroy all the cards on the field!" a burst of black fire crossed the area. "Sorry, no Malefic Black Rose Dragons today!"

 

"Go, Malefic guard!" (OC trap card showing Malefic Chimera protecting Paradox from a dark magic attack)

 

"Huh?"

 

"Now, I can protect my spells and traps from being destroyed, by removing a malefic card from my deck! I remove, Malefic Swift Gaia the Fierce Knight (OC)!"

 

((Dark, Level 7, 2300, 2100 This card cannot be Normal Summoned or Set. This card can only be Special Summoned by removing from play 1 Swift Gaia The Fierce Knight, from your Deck. There can only be 1 face-up Malefic monster on the field. Other monsters you control cannot attack. If .?docid=17358803 is no face-up Field Spell Card on the field, destroy this card If this card is the only card in your hand when you special summon it, you can draw one card.). Paradox's cards were all destroyed, as was black rose Dragon.

 

"and now, thank's to my Malefic Chimera, I can summon a Malefic monster back, like Malefic Flame Wingman!"

 

"I play two cards face down, and with that, I end my turn"

 

"My draws!" Paradox smirked, as they passed a bill board about the big dueling leagues. The older Duela and Leo were on it, with Guardian Eatos vs Power Tool Dragon.

 

"I now send my Handcuffs Dragon, and my VWXYZ Dragon Catapult Cannon from my deck and extra deck, to summon Malefic Handcuffs Dragon (1800, 1800)and Malefic Dragon Catapult Cannon!" (3000, 2800). The large monster battle robot with a black and white mask on his face, and on his dragon head's armor, stood like a creepy robot, and behind it, the handcuffed headed and ended dragon had black and white marks on each part of the handcuff.

 

(Dark, Level 5, 1800, 1800 This card cannot be Normal Summoned or Set. This card can only be Special Summoned by removing from play 1 Handcuffs Dragon from your Deck. There can only be 1 face-up Malefic monster on the field. Other monsters you control cannot attack. If there is no face-up Field Spell Card on the field, destroy this card. If this card is destroyed in battle, all monsters on your opponents field loose 1800 attack and defense points, and when this card inflicts damage ,your opponent must send the bottom 2 cards from the deck to the grave)

 

(Dark, Level 8, 3000, 2800 This card cannot be Normal Summoned or Set. This card can only be Special Summoned by removing from play 1 VWXYZ Dragon Catapult Cannon from your Extra Deck. There can only be 1 face-up Malefic monster on the field. Other monsters you control cannot attack. If there is no face-up Field Spell Card on the field, destroy this card. Once per turn, you can remove a card in your hand to remove a card on your opponent side of the field and deal 500 points of damage)

 

"Whoa!"

 

"Yes, and now I remove the Rainbow Dark Dragon in my hand, to remove Scrap Iron Scarecrow!" his main defense trap was gone! and he took 500 points of damage

 

Micheal 1900

 

"Now, I attack you with my Catapult!" a blast of dark energy flew at Micheal.

 

"Go, Draining Shield!" a shield formed around him, absorbing the power of the attack.

 

Micheal 4900

 

"Very well, but still not enough! my Flamewingman!" a blast of dark fire struck Micheal head on

 

Micheal 2800

 

"And my Handcuff!" Micheal got pinched

 

Micheal 1000

 

"Now, your bottom two cards are back to me" he regained Neos and Blue eyes in his grave.

 

"Your move!"

 

"With pleasure" Micheal focused before drawing. He smiled.

 

"I first activate, Speed Spell- Burial from a different dimmension, and by removing 3 speed counters; Nitro, Quilbolt and Dark Verger are back in my grave!"

 

"Now I summon Debris Dragon in attack mode!" the white dragon flew in with a growl (1000, 2000).

 

"A tuner!"

 

"Yes, and now with his ability, I revive Dark Verger!" (0, 0).

 

"And with a tuner on my field, I revive Quilbolt Hedgehog one more time! (800, 800).

 

"Now, I tune level 4 Debris dragon, level 2 Dark Verger and Level 2 Quilbolt Hedgehog!" his monsters did the whole tuning sequence.

 

"To summon, Stardust Dragon!" the pure white dragon roared to life (2500, 2000).

 

"Next, I play, Speed Spell- Enchanted fitting room! With it, I give up 800 points, and draw four cards!" (In this time, its normal only rule is scratched)" two of the cards he drew glowed orange, as he felt a strange feeling on both of his arms. The dragon's head and Claw formed on each of his arms, from his parents.

 

"I summon, Two Majestic Dragons!" (0, 0) "as well as Dash Warrior (600, 1200)" he put the other card, Max Warrior, back into the deck. "And since Stardust Dragon was summoned, I can revive Stardust Xiaolong!"

 

"Now, I tune together, Stardust, Stardust Xiaolong and Majestic Dragon!" the two dragons jumped into the enlarged majestic Dragon to tune.

 

"I Synchro Summon, Majestic Star Dragon!" he yelled as the great beast roared to life (3800, 3000).

 

"You can summon that thing!" Paradox said shocked.

 

"When your the son of two signers, you pick up a trick or two, and now I activate, Descending lost star, reviving my one level down friend, Black Rose Dragon (2400, 0).

 

"Next, I tune my other majestic dragon, Black Rose Dragon, and Dash Warrior, into the just as mighty Majestic Rose Dragon!" the two monsters also jumped into the enlarged tuner.

 

"Rise, my mighty beast!"

 

A dragon much in the shape of Majestic Star Dragon, except purple with large roses at each pointed part, and petals on its wings, flew alongside the other majestic dragon. (3400, 2800).

 

(Fire, Level 10, 3400, 2800 Majestic Dragon + Black Rose Dragon + 1 non-Tuner monster

You can Tribute this card to destroy all the cards on your opponents side of the field, and for each card destroyed by this effect, you gain 400 life points. During the End Phase, return this card from the field to the Extra Deck, and Special Summon 1 "Black Rose Dragon" from your Graveyard.)

 

"Now, Majestic Rose Dragon, Rose Obliteration!" his dragon burst into a purple light, that obliterated all the cards on Paradox's field.

 

Micheal 2200

 

"Now, I shall attack with Majestic Star Dragon!" the bright light emmiting from Star's mouth struck Paradox clean

 

Paradox 0

 

Paradox's duel runner stopped as they skidded to a halt, near a bill board with a Visit the beautiful land of Alegesia, as well as a wanted poster for Van Kliess and Marik.

 

"It's over, Paradox, your going to the prison world, Spaghetti Junction" Micheal told him.

 

"Its not over, I still have this" a portal through time opened up as he got back onto his runner and drove for it.

 

"Go, Black Rose Dragon, STOP HIM!" he used his psychic dueling skills to really summon Black Rose, whose thorns grabbed Paradox and his runner, but then his deck through into the portal.

 

"NO!" Paradox cried as his deck vanished.

 

In the present

 

The deck flew out of the portal, and landed in a dispersed pile, in the room of the supreme king, as he opened the door...

 

Michael Fudo; Son of Yusei Fudo and Akiza Izinski

As seen in The Adventures of Duela and Yuna

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My second line-by-line review. Let's see how this goes. Advance warning: I know virtually nothing about Yu-Gi-Oh 5Ds, so this is a blind reading, though I used to play Yu-Gi-Oh when I was younger and I remember some of the rules.

 

 

 

In a even more futuristic Neo Domino

 

That's amazing! My favorite way to open a story is with an incomplete sentence too! Great minds think alike' date=' I guess.[/i']

 

On the daedulus bridge,

 

I also enjoy using poor capitalization. It's amazing how much we have in common.

 

a dark red duel runner, sort of like Yusei's, flew down late at night, with a odd lack of traveling cars. The person on the runner had a blue racing suit with red shoulder pads. A yusei like disk was on the runner. His brown eyes were focused, his burgundy hair, with yellow highlighting flashed in the wind.

 

Did that really need four sentences to state? "A lone brown-eyed man with burgundy hair rode a dark red duel runner across the Daedalus Bridge. He wore a blue racing suit with red shoulder pads and carried a Duel Disk akin to Yusei's on his arm." How's that?

 

Also, more bad grammar, this time poor caps and an absence of a hyphen.

 

He then spotted the person he was looking for, a large white runner, driven by a oddly clad man.

 

Apparently, this 'person' is a Duel Runner being driven by another man. Is he a shapeshifter of some sort being hired by another man, or was the author just lazy about proofreading?

 

 

"Paradox!" he yelled.

 

Cliche name is cliche; however, given the truly brilliant writing the Yu-Gi-Oh series is known for, this might be an actual character from the series.

 

The masked man turned his head back towards him.

 

"So, if it isn't my young friend" he smirked in content. "I'm sorry, but I'm a few decades late for my appointment" his duel runner started to pick up speed.

 

IZN'T HE CLEVAR? Also, more epic grammar fail. It's amazing how poor grammar can become in the absence of a Word Processing program.

 

 

"Oh no you don't!" the boy smirked, pressing a button.

 

"Speed World 2, ON!" both of the runners entered duel mode.

 

"Really that determined to lose" Paradox smirked. "Very well, I needed to test this deck out"

 

"Caution a duel is commencing,a duel is commencing,a duel is commencing, Central Lane chosen" a annoying announcer voice hollered. A red barrier formed, as they were herded into a long stretch of road.

 

 

Even more poor grammar. Seriously. Use a word processing program. Spellcheck is your friend.

 

"DUEL!"

 

Both 4000

 

"The first move is mine!" Paradox smirked.

 

"You may have some famous parents, Micheal Fudo,

 

You don't need to skip a line if the same character is talking, though for all I know this might be the shapeshifting Duel Runner entering the conversation. Also, this is the first time I've actually seen someone misspell 'Michael'.

 

but that's not helping you today, first I set two cards face down, and next I remove my deck's Elemental Hero Neos, to summon Malefic Neos!"(OC monster) a evil version of neos with a black and white mask appeared in attack mode (2500, 2000).

 

(Dark, Level 7, 2500, 2000 This card cannot be Normal Summoned or Set. This card can only be Special Summoned by removing from play 1 Elemental Hero Neos from your Deck. There can only be 1 face-up Malefic monster on the field. Other monsters you control cannot attack. If there is no face-up Field Spell Card on the field, destroy this card.)

 

 

This is actually something good about the story (at long last). The card lore being displayed in parentheses helps the reader keep a mental picture of what's going on with the duel and makes reading less inconvenient, alleviating the severe pain of the author's atrocious punctuation and grammar.

 

"Now, since I just removed a monster for a card effect, I activate this special trap that can only activate when a monster is removed for a summoning of a malefic monster, even on the turn it was set, go Malefic Override" (OC continous trap card showing Malefic Blue Eyes, rainbow Dragon and Stardust Dragon battling their original selves over a destroyed city).

 

 

You should be able to describe a card in the story's context. Parentheses should not be necessary. Most importantly, don't write a Yu-Gi-Oh fanfic if you don't know the game's actual rules. Traps cannot be activated on the turn they're set.

 

"With this card's power, first any monster, including the one I just removed by the effect of a Malefic monster, are instead placed in my grave

 

YARD

 

. If my monster is destroyed by battle, the corresponding card in placed on the bottom of your deck, and in exchange,you get dealt damage by the monsters level times 100."

 

"Not bad" Micheal commented.

 

"But next, I think I'll summon Dark Mimic level 1 in defense mode!" a blue box with teeth appeared. (100, 1000).

 

"Next, I play speed spell, Level up! Now, if i have a level monster on my field, I can upgrade him" the little box was replaced by a bigger one.

 

"Dark Mimic, Level 3 (1000, 1000), I think that's enough for now"

 

"My draw!" the boy smirked.

 

"I'll start, with discarding one card" he discarded his Speed Warrior. "To summon, Quickdraw Synchron!" a tuner in a cowboy get up appeared in attack mode (700, 1400).

 

I'm not even going to bother commenting on the frankly appalling punctuation and capitalization in this story any more until the end.

 

"Next, I normal summon, my Dark Verger in attack mode!" a plant with two eyes on its leaves appeared in attack mode (0, 0).

 

"Now, since my Quickdraw can count as other synchron monsters, its time to tune!" Quickdraw shot his gun into the air, exploding as he did, covering Dark Verger in 5 green rings, with dark verger becoming transparent with two stars.

 

"Rise!" a flash of light

 

"Nitro Warrior!" a large blue warrior with anger issues appeared in attack mode (2800, 1800).

 

"Nitro Warrior, attack!" the warrior flew with a fiery contrail straight into Malefic neos, smashing him with a punch.

 

Paradox 3800

 

"Remember my trap, well if you don't!" a blast of purple light struck Micheal, causing him to cringe.

 

Not to be outdone, the dialogue in the story appears to be trying to outdo the punctuation in terms of sheer incompetence.

 

Micheal 3300

 

"Well, in case you don't remember, since my Nitro Warrior destroyed a card in battle, I can change your defense monster into attack mode, and attack again..."

 

"Normally yes, but I activate Skill Drain!" a creepy purple fog descended upon the field, engulfing all the monsters.

 

"Now, by paying 1000 life points, all effects in play are negated, and this card lasts for as long as it isn't destroyed, so sorry but your warrior is stupefied!"

 

Paradox 2800

 

"I'm not impressed, and with that I place a card face down to end my turn"

 

As they biked past a large billboard, with large wanted images for Valdimore and Bellatrix Lestrange, as well as another advertising "Tonto Co brand shaving cream", Paradox began his turn.

 

Is 'Valdimore' a distant cousin of Voldemort? And is this actually going to be a Harry Potter/Yu-Gi-Oh crossover? I didn't think this could get any worse, but apparently I was wrong.

 

"My draw!"

 

"Now, I send to my grave the monster called Elemental Hero Flame Wingman, to summon Malefic Flame Wingman!" a dark version of Jaden's favorite monster rose in attack mode, with a black and white mask on his head and on his dragon arm ( OC 2100, 1200).

 

(Dark, Level 5 Warrior; This card cannot be Normal Summoned or Set. This card can only be Special Summoned by removing from play 1 "Elemental hero Flame Wingman" from your Extra Deck. There can only be 1 face-up "Malefic" monster on the field. Other monsters you control cannot attack. If there is no face-up Field Spell Card on the field, destroy this card. If this monsters destroys a opponents monster by battle, and sends it the graveyard, deal the destroyed monsters original attack points to its owner as damage)

 

"Next, I also send my deck's Blue Eyes to the grave, in order to call Malefic Blue eyes white dragon!" a evil blue dragon rose into the air (3000, 2000).

 

"Now, you see the power of my deck! Two all powerful monsters, and thanks to skill drain, its all possible! With it, their effects to be alone are negated!"

 

"I do, but also I see its defeat" Micheal smirked.

 

"Very well, Blue Eyes, Paradox Lightning!" a blast of blue light flew straight as Nitro warrior.

 

"Go, Scrap Iron Scarecrow!" a metal scarecrow blocked the attack.

 

"That's your father's oldest trick, I'm not impressed" Paradox smirked as he ended his battle phase.

 

"I activate, the Infinity Destructinator speed spell (OC spell card showing a green blue infinity symbol piercing Stardust Dragon, Colossal Fighter and Gaia Knight, the Force of Earth, with light of the same color).

 

"Now, by giving up 2 speed counters when I have at least 3, I can remove from play a synchro monster on your field, and in exchange, you regain the non tuners you used to make it" a blue light pierced Nitro Warrior, sending him into a swirling vortex, as Dark Verger replaced it.

 

"And finally, I remove from play from my hand, Infiinity Skill Flagger (OC ) a monster just made of a mask like Paradox's with two large red and white flags behind it jumped into a remove from play vortex

 

(dark level 1, 0, 0 When you have the skill drain trap card out, you can remove this card. As long as this card is removed from play, your opponent is not affected by Skill Drain, and in exchange, this card's owner draws two cards each turn. Malefic Monsters also regain their effects, aside from their rule on being only one Malefic Monster in play)

 

"My draw!" Micheal said calmly.

 

"I activate, my speed spell one for one" he activated his spell.

 

"By removing 4 speed counters" he slowed down, getting a good look at the nearby billboards saying Krusty Krab; Home of the Krabby Patty, a inter world delicacy and for Dexlabs

 

Okay, never mind, this isn't a crossover. The author just wants to throw in random references to other shows. Also, who the hell slows down to look at a billboard in the middle of a fight, let alone with a time traveler? Is this a mediocre attempt at comedy, or does "Micheal" just have ADHD?

 

"I can discard a card from my hand, and summon a monster from my deck at level 1" he discarded his GigaPlant, as Stardust Xialong curled up on his field (100, 100).

 

"Next, I summon Hyper Synchron in attack mode!" the blue cybernetic being rose in attack mode (1600, 800).

 

"Now, I tune level 4 Hyper Synchron and Level 2 Dark Verger!" Four glowing lights burst out of a hatch on Hyper Synchron's chest, as he vanished. The lights turned into four green rings, which surrounded Dark Verger. He became transparent with two glowing stars again.

 

"I synchro summon, Splendid rose!" the blond haired girl with half black and half green clothing, with vines everywhere and roses above her feet, spun in attack mode 2200, 2000).

 

"I activate my Rose's special ability, by removing my Gigaplant from the grave, I can cut the attack of your Malefic Blue eyes in half!" a vine surrounded the evil Blue eyes (1500, 1000).

 

"Now, Attack, Wonder thorn!" the monster used a rose like a whip to strike down the trapped dragon.

 

Paradox 2100

 

"You fool! Now, your taking some damage, and a free loader!" her deck gained Blue eyes as a purple light struck Micheal again.

 

"Her"? Did one of the characters just have a sex change, or does the shapeshifting motorcycle strike again?

 

Micheal 2500

 

"Now, for my monsters other effect, by removing dark verger from play, she can attack again by cutting her points in half, so now your dark mimic shall also get some!" his monster swung her whip, striking the purple box, and Paradox. Paradox cringed, feeling a cut on his arm where the rose's whip hit him.

 

"You should know, when Dark mimic is destroyed, I can draw a card"

 

"I see, you are a freak like your mother" he smirked. "My move, and I activated the effect of speed spell, Bypass destroyer" (OC card showing Speed Warrior Kicking the head of Dark Grepher before he could draw his sword). "This spell activates in my draw phase when I draw it, instead of gaining a speed counter. Now, your strongest monster is destroyed!" a speed blast hit and destroyed Splendid Rose.

 

"No!"

 

"Yes! Paradox smiled as he also drew his extra card.

 

"Now, I send from my extra deck to my grave, Chimera the Flying mythical beast, to summon Malefic Chimera the Flying Mythical Beast!" a two headed creature, with a snake tail, all these heads covered in black and white masks, with armored wings, flew in from a dark vortex (OC, 2100, 1800)

 

(Dark, Level 6 Beast; This card cannot be Normal Summoned or Set. This card can only be Special Summoned by removing from play 1 "Chimera the Flying Mythical Beast" from your Extra Deck. There can only be 1 face-up "Malefic" monster on the field. Other monsters you control cannot attack. If there is no face-up Field Spell Card on the field, destroy this card. If this monster is destroyed and sent to the graveyard, and sent to the graveyard, summon forth a Malefic with equal or less attack points then this card,ignoring the summoning conditions)

 

"I have made malefic copies of the greatest cards ever made!" Paradox gloated as his two great monster stared down at Xialong. "And with them, I will change history!"

 

"I don't think so" Micheal smirked.

 

"Well then, Malefic monsters aren't my deck's only cards, I now remove Dark Mimic Level 1 and Chimera, sorry your not getting him today" his two monsters flew into a vortex "to summon, Dark Simorgh!" a giant black bird flew up from the air in attack mode (2700, 1000) "And now, thank's to my monsters ability, you can't set any card!"

 

"Now, Attack Chimera!" the monster charged at the small dragon.

 

"Go, scrap iron scarecrow!" the attack was bounced off.

 

"Well then, Dark Simigroth!" a dark whirlwind hit the dragon.

 

"Yes, I am aware that your little dragon has to be beat twice, that's why I have him!" Malefic Flame wingman burned through the dragon, and Micheal got the extra fire.

 

Micheal 2400

 

"That's enough for now" Paradox smirked, as they drove past another wanted sign, with Megatron and Azula's image on them, as well as a sign for Jurassic Park Domino"

 

Okay, this is really getting ridiculous. Please stop throwing in random references. It's not funny, it's annoying.

 

"MY draw!" he yelled.

 

"And with that, I summon my Junk Synchron to the field in attack mode (1300, 500).

 

"Now, I can revive a monster from my graveyard that's level 2 or below, so welcome back, Speed Warrior in defense mode!" (900, 400)

 

"Junk Warrior can't help you now" Paradox commented..

 

"Oh maybe he can't, but not before I activate, Speed Spell, Angel Baton! Now, I can draw two cards, as long as I send one to the grave" he discarded Quilbolt Hedgehog.

 

"And since I have a tuner in play, I can call my Hedgehog from beyond the grave in attack mode!" A hedgehog with bolts for quils rose in attack mode! (800, 800).

 

"Now, I tune level 3 junk Synchron!" his tuner broke himself apart into three green rings.

 

"With level 2 Speed Warrior and Quilbolt Hedgehog!" the monsters jumped into a burst of light.

 

"To summon, my mother's favorite, BLACK ROSE DRAGON!" the flower themed dragon roared as it appeared in a flash of dark light (2400, 1800).

 

"Oh boy" Paradox chuckled "I have a chance to get a scan of that card too" his duel runner started to glow purple

 

"I don't think so, because when Black Rose Dragon is summoned, I can destroy all the cards on the field!" a burst of black fire crossed the area. "Sorry, no Malefic Black Rose Dragons today!"

 

"Go, Malefic guard!" (OC trap card showing Malefic Chimera protecting Paradox from a dark magic attack)

 

"Huh?"

 

"Now, I can protect my spells and traps from being destroyed, by removing a malefic card from my deck! I remove, Malefic Swift Gaia the Fierce Knight (OC)!"

 

((Dark, Level 7, 2300, 2100 This card cannot be Normal Summoned or Set. This card can only be Special Summoned by removing from play 1 Swift Gaia The Fierce Knight, from your Deck. There can only be 1 face-up Malefic monster on the field. Other monsters you control cannot attack. If .?docid=17358803 is no face-up Field Spell Card on the field, destroy this card If this card is the only card in your hand when you special summon it, you can draw one card.). Paradox's cards were all destroyed, as was black rose Dragon.

 

"and now, thank's to my Malefic Chimera, I can summon a Malefic monster back, like Malefic Flame Wingman!"

 

"I play two cards face down, and with that, I end my turn"

 

"My draws!" Paradox smirked, as they passed a bill board about the big dueling leagues. The older Duela and Leo were on it, with Guardian Eatos vs Power Tool Dragon.

 

"I now send my Handcuffs Dragon, and my VWXYZ Dragon Catapult Cannon from my deck and extra deck, to summon Malefic Handcuffs Dragon (1800, 1800)and Malefic Dragon Catapult Cannon!" (3000, 2800). The large monster battle robot with a black and white mask on his face, and on his dragon head's armor, stood like a creepy robot, and behind it, the handcuffed headed and ended dragon had black and white marks on each part of the handcuff.

 

(Dark, Level 5, 1800, 1800 This card cannot be Normal Summoned or Set. This card can only be Special Summoned by removing from play 1 Handcuffs Dragon from your Deck. There can only be 1 face-up Malefic monster on the field. Other monsters you control cannot attack. If there is no face-up Field Spell Card on the field, destroy this card. If this card is destroyed in battle, all monsters on your opponents field loose 1800 attack and defense points, and when this card inflicts damage ,your opponent must send the bottom 2 cards from the deck to the grave)

 

(Dark, Level 8, 3000, 2800 This card cannot be Normal Summoned or Set. This card can only be Special Summoned by removing from play 1 VWXYZ Dragon Catapult Cannon from your Extra Deck. There can only be 1 face-up Malefic monster on the field. Other monsters you control cannot attack. If there is no face-up Field Spell Card on the field, destroy this card. Once per turn, you can remove a card in your hand to remove a card on your opponent side of the field and deal 500 points of damage)

 

"Whoa!"

 

"Yes, and now I remove the Rainbow Dark Dragon in my hand, to remove Scrap Iron Scarecrow!" his main defense trap was gone! and he took 500 points of damage

 

Micheal 1900

 

"Now, I attack you with my Catapult!" a blast of dark energy flew at Micheal.

 

"Go, Draining Shield!" a shield formed around him, absorbing the power of the attack.

 

Micheal 4900

 

"Very well, but still not enough! my Flamewingman!" a blast of dark fire struck Micheal head on

 

Micheal 2800

 

"And my Handcuff!" Micheal got pinched

 

Micheal 1000

 

"Now, your bottom two cards are back to me" he regained Neos and Blue eyes in his grave.

 

"Your move!"

 

"With pleasure" Micheal focused before drawing. He smiled.

 

"I first activate, Speed Spell- Burial from a different dimmension, and by removing 3 speed counters; Nitro, Quilbolt and Dark Verger are back in my grave!"

 

"Now I summon Debris Dragon in attack mode!" the white dragon flew in with a growl (1000, 2000).

 

"A tuner!"

 

"Yes, and now with his ability, I revive Dark Verger!" (0, 0).

 

"And with a tuner on my field, I revive Quilbolt Hedgehog one more time! (800, 800).

 

"Now, I tune level 4 Debris dragon, level 2 Dark Verger and Level 2 Quilbolt Hedgehog!" his monsters did the whole tuning sequence.

 

"To summon, Stardust Dragon!" the pure white dragon roared to life (2500, 2000).

 

"Next, I play, Speed Spell- Enchanted fitting room! With it, I give up 800 points, and draw four cards!" (In this time, its normal only rule is scratched)" two of the cards he drew glowed orange, as he felt a strange feeling on both of his arms. The dragon's head and Claw formed on each of his arms, from his parents.

 

"I summon, Two Majestic Dragons!" (0, 0) "as well as Dash Warrior (600, 1200)" he put the other card, Max Warrior, back into the deck. "And since Stardust Dragon was summoned, I can revive Stardust Xiaolong!"

 

"Now, I tune together, Stardust, Stardust Xiaolong and Majestic Dragon!" the two dragons jumped into the enlarged majestic Dragon to tune.

 

"I Synchro Summon, Majestic Star Dragon!" he yelled as the great beast roared to life (3800, 3000).

 

"You can summon that thing!" Paradox said shocked.

 

"When your the son of two signers, you pick up a trick or two,

 

As I understand it from snippets heard here and there, the Signers are significant plot figures, meaning this guy's a Gary Stu character on top of simply annoying.

 

and now I activate, Descending lost star, reviving my one level down friend, Black Rose Dragon (2400, 0).

 

"Next, I tune my other majestic dragon, Black Rose Dragon, and Dash Warrior, into the just as mighty Majestic Rose Dragon!" the two monsters also jumped into the enlarged tuner.

 

"Rise, my mighty beast!"

 

A dragon much in the shape of Majestic Star Dragon, except purple with large roses at each pointed part, and petals on its wings, flew alongside the other majestic dragon. (3400, 2800).

 

(Fire, Level 10, 3400, 2800 Majestic Dragon + Black Rose Dragon + 1 non-Tuner monster

You can Tribute this card to destroy all the cards on your opponents side of the field, and for each card destroyed by this effect, you gain 400 life points. During the End Phase, return this card from the field to the Extra Deck, and Special Summon 1 "Black Rose Dragon" from your Graveyard.)

 

"Now, Majestic Rose Dragon, Rose Obliteration!" his dragon burst into a purple light, that obliterated all the cards on Paradox's field.

 

Micheal 2200

 

"Now, I shall attack with Majestic Star Dragon!" the bright light emmiting from Star's mouth struck Paradox clean

 

Paradox 0

 

Paradox's duel runner stopped as they skidded to a halt, near a bill board with a Visit the beautiful land of Alegesia, as well as a wanted poster for Van Kliess and Marik.

 

"It's over, Paradox, your going to the prison world, Spaghetti Junction" Micheal told him.

 

"Its not over, I still have this" a portal through time opened up as he got back onto his runner and drove for it.

 

"Go, Black Rose Dragon, STOP HIM!" he used his psychic dueling skills to really summon Black Rose, whose thorns grabbed Paradox and his runner, but then his deck through into the portal.

 

"NO!" Paradox cried as his deck vanished.

 

In the present

 

The deck flew out of the portal, and landed in a dispersed pile, in the room of the supreme king, as he opened the door...

 

Michael Fudo; Son of Yusei Fudo and Akiza Izinski

As seen in The Adventures of Duela and Yuna

 

 

Yeah, this sucked. The punctuation and capitalization were terrible, the duel was boring, and the main character's a Gary Stu. To top it all off, the story is riddled with annoying references to other TV shows. Using a word processor would dramatically improve this, though I can't help you with the OCs and the boring duel. This could use some work, but it isn't a lost cause.

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1. Your sig is too big.

2. Your grammer is horrid.

3. The storyline is just as amazing as Yu-Gi-Oh! GX.

4. Paradox did not exist in the same timeline as Yusei, or his next generation.

 

I don't mean that you should get out of this forum. All I want to say is to learn about proper english and better storylines before posting something.

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The story itself was OK...much more salvageable than your average foefic.

 

No. Not at all. The main character reeks of Gary Stu and uncreativeness. He's a complete expy of Yusei, down to the deck and character description, but is much more bland. There's already enough Yusei x Aki spawn running around on the Pit of Voles: we don't need any more here. The random shout-outs to Spongebob and Harry Potter are completely unnecessary and make you sound unfocused and infantile. The writing itself is boring and predictable, with almost no interesting twists. In short, this thing is garbage and does not make any sense.

 

...And I feel like Crab for posting this.

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GX is a good story! And for that matter' date=' it comes from a GX fanfic. Paradox, he travels in time, he could have easily gotten into this time, 20 years after 5D's

[/quote']

 

Except the whole thing with him getting killed at the end of the movie. Don't say, "he could've gone ahead before that", he didn't know he was going to be killed, so it doesn't work.

 

Are you sure this is from a GX fic? It is set in 5D's and features characters that have only appeared in 5D's and in the Anniversary Movie.

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GX is a good story! And for that matter' date=' it comes from a GX fanfic. Paradox, he travels in time, he could have easily gotten into this time, 20 years after 5D's

[/quote']

No it isn't! Why do you think I parody it so mercilessly?! It only started getting better after the third season, and that's just because it was emulating Evangelion!

 

Either way, now that I've said that, the references to everything else were stupid and teh grammarz were none too great. All that came from simply skimming this.

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The story itself was OK...much more salvageable than your average foefic.

 

No. Not at all. The main character reeks of Gary Stu and uncreativeness. He's a complete expy of Yusei' date=' down to the deck and character description, but is much more bland. There's already enough Yusei x Aki spawn running around on the Pit of Voles: we don't need any more here. The random shout-outs to Spongebob and Harry Potter are completely unnecessary and make you sound unfocused and infantile.

[/quote']

 

All of this is true, and though it pains me to say it, it's still better than your average foefic. It's sort of like saying "the best case of food poisoning you ever had." It's still horrible, but at least it doesn't feature The Professor Young Boy. That's always a plus.

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My fanfic universe, is strange. Let's put it this way, Jaden has met Voldemort, eaten at the krusty krab, and visited Jurassic Park. The universe of my fanfiction has slowly created a strongly intergrated universe of many shows, each with their own world; Inheritance (Alegesia), Spongebob (Bikini Bottom), Ben 10 (Land of Aliens), Jurassic Park (Isla Nublar), Code Lyoko (Lyoko), Transformers (Cybertron), ect ect ect

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But sadly, there is no good reason for how all these universes became combined together, leaving the entire thing looking lazy and half-assed.

 

Really, if you're going to cram in all the references, the story you're writing either needs to be a straight-up comedy, or you need to come up with a reason for why the universes came together like this.

 

Also Spongebob has sucked for the past few years, so unless you want to be looked down upon, I'd suggest that you don't include him or any references from after the movie, and Code Lyoko is really actually pretty disgusting, considering how many underage panty-shots they throw in. Don't use that either. And in addition, the Inheritance Trilogy sucked ass, and everybody only said Paolini's work was great was because he was a teenager when he wrote it. Discard any references to that, too. And in conclusion, Jaden is an idiot who can't stop making cruddy puns for anything. Wait, that doesn't matter at all, it's only my opinion!!

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Plus, there were no shots of female underwear in code lyoko, and inheritance doesn't stink (Plus, Jaden teamed up with Aelita and Eragon, among others, to save the universe once from a alliance of the universes most evil villians, Galbatorix, Sidious, Doofemsmirtz, Megatron, ect, and now their kids Duela, Einette and Garrow will as well, with new faces, Van Kliess, Kronos and Voldemort)

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Plus' date=' there were no shots of female underwear in code lyoko, and inheritance doesn't stink (Plus, Jaden teamed up with Aelita and Eragon, among others, to save the universe once from a alliance of the universes most evil villians, Galbatorix, Sidious, Doofemsmirtz, Megatron, ect, and now their kids Duela, Einette and Garrow will as well, with new faces, Van Kliess, Kronos and Voldemort)

[/quote']

 

To quote TVTropes...

 

# Fanservice: Oh God, the fanservice. Nearly every main character has had a shirtless/underwear scene of some sort. And yes, it's all in the dub. Which was run on Cartoon Network. In the afterschool slot. With a TV-Y7FV rating.

 

* Despite this, Aelita's first two civilian outfits include Magic Skirts; for reasons known only to MoonScoop, she has never had an underwear scene (except that time her heart was restarted and she appeared to be wearing a slip). Instead, she is seen stepping into a shower and standing under the water in Season 4.

* There is even Sissi in her cheerleader outfit, with several frames of animation in which you can clearly see up her skirt (she's sitting down and crossing her legs). She is also seen walking around her room in her underwear in early episodes.

* It's worth noting that the English dub was produced by MoonScoop alongside the original French, rather than it being dubbed by an American company. They aren't Getting Crap Past the Radar, they are the radar.

* To recap, we have: Bare Your Midriff, Censor Steam, Foot Focus, Furo Scene, Lingerie Scene, Modesty Towel, Panty Shot, Pool Scene, Sensual Spandex, Shirtless Scene, Shower Scene, Zettai Ryouiki (Yumi in "TeddyGozilla")...

 

And anyways, I think I'm delving too deep into your universe. I'd better stop saying things before I accidentally say anything too mean... wait, Doofenshmirtz?! Wait wait wait, I'd better just leave now, before I get too involved... just walk away...

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Yes, beware for it takes a strong imaginative mind to understand the ways of the KrspaceT universe. You weren't the first to question it, and you will not be the last. And yes, he was in the first dark alliance, but he changed sides after his world was destroyed, and teaming up with Transformer's Waspinator, he was the one to destroy the first dark leader, Darth Sidious

 

MUWHAHHHA

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My fanfic universe' date=' is strange. Let's put it this way, Jaden has met Voldemort, eaten at the krusty krab, and visited Jurassic Park. The universe of my fanfiction has slowly created a strongly intergrated universe of many shows, each with their own world; Inheritance (Alegesia), Spongebob (Bikini Bottom), Ben 10 (Land of Aliens), Jurassic Park (Isla Nublar), Code Lyoko (Lyoko), Transformers (Cybertron), ect ect ect

[/quote']

 

That's even more stranger than Yu-Gi-Oh DMX. Which means lots.

 

Well, some people like GX, but a large number of members hate it.

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Black rose couldn't have destroyed paradoxes monsters, Skill drain was still on the field. Scrap-Iron couldn't have re-set itself because dark simorgh was there. Michael couldn't have tuned verger and debris, because debris is also a tuner itself.

 

So basically, Michael actually lost but won because he cheated.

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One (Infinity Skill Flagger, did you not read it, its effect canceled out Skill Drain to the opponent and user, except in negating the Malefic's one monster rule, and allowed the user to draw an extra time)

Two I don't think that's a rule, I haven't checked!

Third; DARK VERGER IS NOT A TUNER MONSTER! It was revived by Debris's effect

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1. I stand corrected, that I missed "iinfinity skill flagger". Though the fact that you included such an absurdly specific and situational card at all is ridiculous.

 

2. It is... should be apparent from reading the cards.

 

3. That is right.

 

 

 

So I guess you aren't as bad as I thought... even so, I was right that scrap iron doesn't work.

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You gotta be kidding me >.

 

This is even worse than...

 

I dunno, forgot the name...

 

Okay, honestly... Write properly. This thing reeks of... Obviousabilitiblitsjustupidism.

 

GX was terrible, especially the dub >.

Doofenshmirtz is dissapoint...

 

He's doesn't deserve to be pulled into this D:

 

HP reference? Jarassic Park!? Transformers!? Weird card rulings!? I could go on forever, but I can't be bothered.

 

Long rants short.

 

This is... Terrible.

 

Well, it felt good to trash a stupid story again.

Not quite the par, slightly better... Slightly.

Try again. Use MS Word. Hell, that would do a lot!

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