PikMan Posted June 13, 2010 Report Share Posted June 13, 2010 I am currently writing a fanfic series in preparation for my Flash cartoon. It will be called "When Worlds Collide". Just think of it as Super Smash Bros. Meets Homestar Runner. Please note that I have no copyright involvement, and don't get upset that I may or may not ruin the characters. Also, for future reference, Pokemon can talk in my cartoon. (I can't have the characters repeat everything!) I ask you to give me your opinion. [spoiler=Characters] Jacob Species: Mii Favorite Outfit: Green sweater with Green and White striped sweats Religion: Mormon Residence: Apartment on the West Side of Mediaville Torchic Favorite Move: Flame Wheel Current Girlfriend: Umbreon Pet Peeve: Moves that do Recoil Damage Favorite Food: Sitrus Berry Kirby Favorite Food: Tomatoes and Watermelons Least Favorite Food: Caterpillars Method of Transportation: Inflating himself Stomach Space: Infinite Roll Favorite Outfit: Red Dress w/ black sleeves Weapon of Choice: Broom Karate Belt: Black Least Favorite Person: Toph Iggy Species: Koopa IQ: 199 Previous Girlfriend: Toph Dirty Secret: Kidnaps people to use as Lab Rodents Lemmy Species: Koopa Goals: To join the circus; To convince Iggy that Toph is a lost cause Height: Less than 2 feet Skill: Has incredible balance Toph Claim to Fame: World's first Metalbender Eyesight: Blind Hygeine: Poor Why She Broke Up with Iggy: Unknown (KENNY KILLER AWARD) Marvin Knows: 97% of what there is to know Capacity of Happiness: You can fit it in a full matchbox Closest Thing to a Friend: Roll Number of Part-Time Jobs: A lot Homestar Distinguishing Quality: An unbelievably loose grasp on reality Favorite Food: Marshmallows Favorite Game: I Spy Unresolved Question: Why he doesn't wear pants Olimar Home Planet: Hocotate Eyesight: Poor, due to his squinty eyes Perpetual Weakness: Oxygen Secret Shame: Watches Dora the Explorer Dark Jacob Purpose in Life: Enjoy himself at the expense of others Number of Failed World Domination Attempts: 13 Nemesis: Just about everybody Worst Thing he's ever Done: Burning down the Christmas Tree Umbreon Nemesis: Jacob Favorite Move: Shadow Ball Why She Helps Dark Jacob: Likes Dark Jacob's Food Storage Room Easiest Game in Her Opinion: DDR Kenny Number of Times He Died: 70... And counting! Reason for Coming Back to Life: Unknown First Death: Knocked into Street and got Run Over by a Police car Outfit: An orange hoodie which muffles his speech [spoiler=Season 1][spoiler=Episode 1- Laser Tag, You're It!][spoiler=Part 1]Welcome to Mediaville. Yeah, the name’s kinda dumb, but I had to call it something, and Videoland was already taken. So, here we are. One day in Mediaville, Jacob was walking down the street with his roommates, Torchic and Kirby. Everything seemed normal enough; The sky was partly cloudy, the plants were carnivorous, plumbers jumped on mushrooms with eyes, and guys without arms could carry stuff. Then they heard the familiar call of “Eggs tree! Eggs tree!” It was Homestar. He was doing his part time job as a newspaper boy. He stopped next to Jacob and chucked a newspaper at them, and ran off. Jacob picked it up. “Whoa, there’s going to be a Lasertag championship in 3 weeks!” Said Jacob. “It seems like you’re hyped”, said Torchic, who had the ability to speak English after a run-in with Iggy Koopa. “It’s just too bad you got kicked off the Lasertag team last year.” Jacob chose that time to have a brain fart. “Wha-?!” He asked. “Don’t you remember what happened last year?” Replied Kirby. Then Jacob had a vivid flashback of the moment: In Mediaville, the Lasertag rules state that if a Team Captain gets gunned down, that team loses. Jacob was the team captain, but Rayman was the brains behind him. Rayman explained their plan. “All right, we’re gonna have Kirby and Mario flank left while me and Jacob head straight. I’ll take off from Jacob to cover his rear while Link helps Jacob gun down Bowser. So Tails, how’s our plan?” Tails stepped up. “Our chances of success are about 2,846 to 1.” “That’s better than we usually do”, said Rayman. Jacob (Who had been daydreaming that he was in the bathroom) suddenly shouted “All right, time’s up chumps, let’s do this!” He grabbed his gun in his hand, and as he bolted out he shouted at the top of his lungs “LEERRROOOOOOOOOY JENKINS!!!” He was barely 10 yards away from his team when he tripped on thin air. No, it wasn’t air- It was Larry Koopa, Bowser’s 2nd youngest child. As Larry aimed his gun, he taunted, “The force is strong with you, Jacob, but you are not a Jedi yet.” Bang. Then Jacob snapped back into the present. "No, I don't", he lied. “That figures”, said an unbelieving Kirby. Just then, Mega Man and his sister, Roll, walked by. (And please don’t ask me to explain Roll’s name, I’m not in the mood.) “Hey guys!” Said Mega Man. “What’s up?” Roll walked over and saw the article in the newspaper about the Lasertag championship. “This is about the Leeroy Jacob incident, isn’t it?” She said. Before they even had a chance to answer, Roll continued. “Well, good news for Jacob; The legislation was passed so that people cannot get kicked off the team, so Jacob’s back in.” Jacob, Kirby, and Torchic had a simultaneous “WHA-?!” The look in Mega Man’s eyes made it clear he wasn’t enthusiastic about the idea either. “Hey don’t look at me, it was Roll’s idea to ask Dedede. Ah, well. See you in 3 weeks.” Both of the androids left. Once they were out of earshot, Mega Man decided to mess with Roll a little bit. “You just suggested that to Dedede because you like Jacob!” Roll blushed. “Wha- No I don’t!” Mega Man smirked. “That’s fine, your secret's safe with me!” Roll groaned, then blushed some more. Meanwhile, one of them awkward silences fell upon Jacob and his friends. Kirby broke the silence after a full 2 minutes. “Welp, we’re boned.” [spoiler=Part 2]The day of the championship arrived. On Jacob’s team was him and his roommates, Mega Man, Roll, Mario, Link, Rayman, Sonic, and Tails. Bowser’s team contained him and his kids, as well as Kamek. The announcer, Mr. Monopoly, walked into the center of the arena. He began to speak. “All right, let’s review the rules. If a team captain-“ That’s as far as he got before Sonic interrupted him. “We went over this in the flashback in part 1, remember?” Another awkward silence. “All right then, let’s get the teams into their hiding spots before the game begins. You all get 1 minute.” The moment he said that, everyone disappeared from his view, finding hiding spots. Jacob stuck with Torchic and Kirby. Rayman went solo, Mario and Link went together, and Mega Man and Roll teamed up. Same with Sonic and Tails. About 5 seconds before the game began, Larry stuck one of his legs in front of Sonic’s legs. When the whistle blew, Sonic took off like a bullet, but upon hitting Larry’s leg, he looked more like a poorly-tossed football. Iggy and Lemmy caused all heck to break loose. Iggy was the smart guy, and Lemmy was the clueless prankster. Anyway, Lemmy’s questionable strategy of rapidly spinning around and randomly shooting seemed to work. Larry was the cheater of the group. He decided to lure Mario and Link to his line of sight. He pulled a fresh plate of Lasagna from hammerspace and set it on the ground. He didn’t know what to do for Link. Then he remembered that Link was vegetarian (Why else is it impossible for him to kill chickens?), and set down a salad. It worked perfectly. Almost perfectly, actually. Mario came right in. Link saw what was going on immediately… But he couldn’t warn Mario because he can’t talk. Larry got Mario first. Link just took off, knowing very well what was coming. Unfortunately, Larry gave chase, firing his Laser Tag gun at Link. Link ran past Rayman, who joined the chase, trying to shoot Larry. Meanwhile, Jacob and his roommates were on their own. Jacob said, “I hope we don’t run into Kamek. He’s an even worse cheater than Larry!” “I concur”, said Kirby. “You got that right,” said Torchic. “I take that as a complement”, said Kamek, who was inexplicably standing behind them. Jacob instinctively ducked, while Kirby and Torchic ran off. Jacob shot behind him- only to discover that Kamek teleported in front of him. Jacob tried to shoot Kamek, but the latter kept teleporting. Jacob decided to use his last resort. “Hey, is that Halley’s Comet?” said Jacob, pointing behind Kamek with his fingerless hands. Believe it or not, Kamek fell for it. After he got shot, he decided to see how the heavies- Morton, Ludwig, and Roy- were doing. They were in the middle of an encounter with Mega Man and Roll. Kamek teleported right in the middle. As this was a friendly fire-type game, Roy stopped shooting. Morton, though… he wasn’t what you would call the brightest candle on the Menorah. (Apologies to Jews everywhere.) He just kept shooting, and Kamek got shot again. Mega and Roll left. "Whew, that was a close one," Roy said. "What?" Said Ludwig. "I SAID THAT WAS A CLOSE ONE!" Shouted Roy. "Settle down, I'm not deaf!" Ludwig said. "Yes you are", Morton pointed out. "What?" [spoiler=Part 3]The only ones I haven’t mentioned so far were Wendy and Bowser Jr. They were in a firefight with Sonic and Tails, but during their tussle, Link, Larry, and Rayman flew past. Rayman accidentally knocked Wendy’s bow off, and Wendy was so concerned about her appearance that, even in the middle of a game of Laser Tag, she bent down, picked it up, dusted it off… And got shot. Bowser Jr. had mysteriously disappeared by then. Tails stepped around to look for him, but he stepped on something sorta pointy. He realized that is was Jr.’s shell. Jr. stood up, knocking Tails to the ground, and Bowser Jr. shot Tails, but Sonic ran off already. Sonic got shot somehow in the middle of his run. The shooter in question was Iggy. “Nice shot, bro!” Said Lemmy. “That’s what happens when you play the only existing copy of Duck Hunt 64”, replied Iggy. Duck Hunt 64 was considerably more popular than the original- for the sole reason that you can shoot that annoying dog. Then, a spark set off in Iggy’s brain- which, given that he was smarter than Einstein, was pretty common. “I think I know how we can get Jacob shot down! Now listen closely…” Jacob was, meanwhile, on his own. Kirby and Torchic ditched him in Part 2, leaving him alone. Jacob was surprised to find Lemmy tied up on the ground. “That double-crossing Iggy double-crossed me!” Lemmy lied, knowing that Bowser Sr. was hiding just next to him. Predictably, Jacob took the bait. Bowser jumped out from the shadows and shot point-blank. Somehow he missed, and Jacob had a clear shot at the Koopa King and fired. This time, the beam connected, and Jacobs team won. “Aw, man!” Bowser said, defeated. “Greedo knew exactly what he was talking about!” “Greedo didn’t shoot to begin with”, corrected Jacob. Jacob went off to join the celebration. “Well”, said Bowser, trying to keep a positive attitude, “At least I’m still King of the Koopas.” Iggy walked by as he said this and said, “Actually, Fawful took over your castle 5 minutes ago.” “AGAIN?!” Shouted Bowser. [spoiler=Episode 2- The Incredible Shrinking Hedgehog][spoiler=Part 1]Jacob, Torchic, and Kirby were taking a walk down the street. Then they heard something that sounded like a motorcycle, but not exactly. “Do you hear that?” Asked Torchic. “Yep”, said Jacob, “it sounds like…” Before he could answer, the source of the sound stopped in front of them. It was Sonic, and he looked panicked. “Hide me, guys! Amy’s after me again!” he stuttered. Kirby rolled his eyes. “Why don’t you just suck it up and take her on a date already?” He said. Sonic responded without thinking. “I would rather be experimented on.” “Great!” Said Iggy, who was inexplicably standing there. “Thanks for volunteering!” Sonic contemplated Iggy’s arrival for a second. “How long have you been here?” Sonic asked. “Oh, about 4 seconds," Iggy replied. Jacob was visibly confused. “What the crap is going on here?” “Allow me to explain”, said Iggy. “You see, when Sonic said ‘I would rather be experimented on’, a freak wormhole opened up in the fabric of space-time, carrying his words back 42 seconds ago to my lab. It just so happens I was looking for a lab rodent, and I didn’t want to use Lemmy, like I normally do.” That was when Amy showed up. “Oh, hello to everybody who isn’t Sonic, and a very special hello to everyone else." Sonic facepalmed. Iggy decided that the interruptions were over. “Come on guys… and girl”, he said. They headed back to his laboratory. At the laboratory, Sonic was strapped to a device of some sort. The device looked like a computer hooked up to a hospital table. Iggy made some finishing touches while Jacob, Kirby, Torchic, and Amy watched. Amy glanced at Iggy. “You better not hurt Sonic, or you’re gonna get the receiving end of my hammer!” Iggy shuddered. “Don’t worry”, he said doubtfully. “Everything will be fine with my safety supervisors watching”. He pointed at Larry, Lemmy, and Ludwig. Larry and Lemmy were busy playing Pokemon. “What?” Said Ludwig. Just then, Homestar pranced in. “Oh, hello guys!” He said. “Oh, joy”, said Torchic sarcastically. “Hey look! A TV with words on it!” Said Homestar, pronouncing the ‘r’ as a ‘w’ like he always does. He banged the keyboard with his underbite a few times and left. As he left, the machine shook, sparked, and zapped Sonic. [spoiler=Part 2]When the smoke cleared, nothing changed. Except for the fact that Sonic was nowhere in sight. “That’s the last straw!” Amy shouted. She pulled her hammer from its hiding spot in Hammerspace and charged Iggy. “Wait, hold up a sec!” Said Jacob, holding back Amy. “Iggy, remember when you posted that article of the Popular Science Forums that the energy source of a machine affects the machine’s results?” “Um, yes.” Said Iggy. Jacob continued. “So what did you use as fuel?” Iggy thought a bit. “Mini mushrooms”, he replied. “AHA!” Said Jacob. “If you used Mini Mushrooms as fuel, then that must mean…” Instinctively, everybody looked down. There was Sonic, the size of a Grapefruit. “What the crap’s happening?!” Shouted Sonic. Surprisingly, his pitch wasn’t affected. Iggy said. “I think you lost some weight.” Larry and Lemmy walked over to see what happened. “Whoa, cool!” Said Larry. “Now I can do a diorama of the 16-Bit Console Wars!” Lemmy glanced at Larry. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Iggy thought a bit and said, “I think I have something that can help.” He took off his shell, set it down, and began rummaging through it. Eventually, he grabbed his field guide. “If Mini Mushrooms shrunk Sonic, then a Mega Mushroom should set things straight.” He looked through the guide until he found where to find Mega Mushrooms. “See ya around!” He said, and he left. Some minutes later, Jacob’s cell rang. “Hello? Oh, it’s you. You are? You will? …You won’t? Oh, OK. Bye.” Jacob hung up. “Bad news, guys- Iggy just got trampled by a herd of wild Tauros, and he’ll be pancaked for a while.” Then someone came in. It was Olimar. “What’s all the excitement here about?” He asked. As he walked in, he accidentally stepped on Sonic. “Hm, I think I stepped in something.” He tried scraping it off. “I’m down here, imbecile!” Sonic shouted from underneath Olimar’s foot. Olimar looked down, then looked over at Amy. Amy readied her hammer. “I think I’ve figured out what the problem is.” Said Olimar, walking towards the machine. “What we need to do is inverse the quantum mainframe…” Began Olimar, who was oblivious to the fact that his ‘audience’ fell asleep. [spoiler=Part 3]Jacob was still asleep 2 hours later, when Olimar was wrapping up. “…Should reverse the molecular structure of the beam…. Um, Jacob? JACOB!” He snapped. Jacob snapped awake. “Oh, man, Olimar,” Jacob complained, “I just had a dream where I almost beat Yusei in a Turbo Duel.” “He probably had a trap card, anyway”, said Kirby, who had just woken up. Then Sonic woke up. “Olimar, your 2-hour ramblings didn’t help one bit!” That was right about when Homestar pranced in again, waking up Amy. “Oh, hello! Um, did everybody turn into a giant except Sonic?” He said. “It’s a long story,” Amy began. “You see…” “Ooh! A keyboard! I think I’ll type my autobiography.” Said Homestar, and he banged the keyboard again. “Meh, the keys are too small.” Homestar walked away. The machine zapped Sonic again, and when the smoke cleared, Sonic was dead. No, just kidding. You really think I’m that cruel? No, the beam zapped Sonic back into his regular size. “I’m back to normal!” Said Sonic. This woke up everybody else except Ludwig. “Let’s celebrate by pretending to make a pizza!” Shouted Larry. Just then, Iggy burst in with a bag full of Mushrooms. “I’ll save you, Sonic!” Sonic facepalmed again. “I’m already back to normal.” Iggy didn’t listen. He loaded the Mega Mushrooms into the machine and flipped a switch. Sonic got zapped again, and grew to 16 feet tall. Iggy looked up. “Oh no… what have I done? What am I doing? What will I do?!” He cried, banging his head on the control panel. The machine sparked again, and let loose a LOT of zapping. “This is gonna cost me,” muttered Iggy. Tails walked down the street. Jacob was walking away from the lab. “Hey Jacob, have you seen Sonic anywhere?” Asked Tails. Jacob pointed behind him. “Yeah, he’s back there.” Tails turned pale. There was Sonic, 42 ft. tall. “If I had known this would’ve happened, I would’ve gone with Amy”, said Sonic. [spoiler=Episode 3- The Mediaville Resistance][spoiler=Part 1]Jacob walked into the local Gamestop. He walked up to the counter, where Mario worked. “Mario, aren’t you a plumber? Or at least a carpenter?” Asked Jacob. Mario replied, “My a-boss is a-giving me time off”, Mario replied in his Italian accent. “Whatever. What do ya got?” Jacob asked. Mario pulled some games from the counter. “We have Super Smash Bros. DS, Kirby Wii, and Yugioh World Championship 200X.” Jacob thought it over. “Well, it’s about time Smash Bros. DS came out. I’ll take it!” Mario went on the cash register. “That’ll a-be $59.99”, he said. Jacob shook his head. “SIXTY BUCKS?! Why would I pay 5 dozen bucks for a DS game?!” Mario shrugged. “Dedede’s the one who started the game tax.” Jacob seemed intrigued. “Tell me more about this tax…” The next day, Jacob was hanging out with Kirby, Torchic, Iggy, and Roll. Jacob was relaying what Mario had told him. “So that’s why I think we oughta do something,” he finished. “It just hurts me that Dedede thinks he can just take money from us for no reason,” Roll said. As if on cue, Dedede walked by and said, “Loitering fine! $7.50!” Kirby literally coughed up the money, and Dedede took it with a pair of tongs. “See what I mean?” As Dedede left the area, Aang and Ben 10 came by. “I hear you’re discussing the tax, huh?” Asked Ben. Iggy didn’t really like Ben all that much. “I told you to stay on the other side of the road. OK, why did Ben cross the road?” He said. “To get to the other side”, replied Aang. Rimshot. Ben was not amused. “Seriously. Anyway, that Earthbender whats-her-face is organizing a resistance movement because Dedede is starting a new wave of taxes.” Iggy jumped. “Wait, you mean Toph? I haven’t seen her since I broke up with her last spring!” Aang replied, “Yeah, but she still isn’t happy about the breakup.” “How did you two break up, anyway?” Asked Roll. Everybody gave her an awkward stare. "I dunno", said Torchic. Jacob was once again intrigued. “So a resistance movement, eh? Hmmm…” [spoiler=Part 2]“So just out of curiosity- This isn’t a repeat of the Bar Code incident, is it?” asked Jacob as the group headed to the resistance HQ. “Don’t worry, we took care of that on the quickfast!” Assured Ben. What’s that? You’ve never read The Bar Code Tattoo? Good reading, that book. Then they got there. It was… nothing more than a couple of warehouses. “Yeah, I know it isn’t much,” explained Aang, “But it was the best we could do, what with the recession and all.” They went inside one of the warehouses. There they saw Toph who was taking a nap in a chair. "Toph's in charge of the rebellion?" Whispered Jacob. "Yep", confirmed Ben. “Hey, Toph!” Said Aang. This seemed to get Toph’s attention. “Who are these guys?” She asked. “Well, we have Jacob, Kirby, Roll, Torchic, and Iggy”, replied Aang. “OK, who’s the brain genius behind putting a blind girl in charge of the revolution?” Asked Jacob. (Apologies to blind people everywhere) Toph pointed behind her. “It was Marvin.” Marvin looked up from the corner where he was standing. “Thanks for noticing me”, the robot said. “Not that I care, though. I’m used to not being noticed.” Iggy rolled his eyes. “Hi, Toph”, he said. “Could someone keep him AWAY from me please?” Toph said. “Sorry, I ain’t budgin’." So Toph Earthbended a piece of metal from the floor and chucked it at Iggy. Iggy dodged it and the metal disappeared from sight- but not before it killed some guy with an orange hoodie. Iggy looked behind him and said, “Holy crap! You killed Kenny! You jerk!” “Look, people,” said Ben, trying to avert a major catastrophe, “I think we should focus on the main problem here.” After this incident, Toph decided the best way to rid herself of Iggy was to either send him on a pointless Recon mission, or just drop a boulder on his head. Thankfully, she chose the former. Tagging along was Jacob, Roll, and Marvin. “…And I’ve got this awful pain on the diodes on my left-hand side”, muttered Marvin while they were headed there. “Oh, no kidding?” Roll asked sympathetically. “Yep. I’ve asked them to be replaced, but no one listens. But don’t act like you care about it. No one ever does.” Iggy sorta wanted to reprogram Marvin, but he figured that since Proto Man resisted, why try it with another robot with a slightly similar personality. By this time, Castle Dedede was well in sight. ‘If we can deal with Meta Knight, we’re home free!’ thought Iggy. While Iggy was thinking this, he tripped over a rock. The rock rolled down a hill, where it fell on top of one of the guards of the castle, who turned around. “This does not look good for Iggy Koopa”, muttered Iggy as Waddle Dees, Waddle Doos, and Gordos surrounded the group. [spoiler=Part 3]“Well, well, well, look who tried to get rid of my taxes,” Said Dedede after his prisoners had been delivered to him. “Well, it’s about time you finally showed up in the Fanfic”, said Iggy. “We mentioned you 3 times before now.” “SILENCE!” Dedede pulled out his hammer. “Meta Knight, I have a job for you.” “What is it, king?” Said Meta Knight in his Hispanic accent. (Apologies to Hispanic everywhere.) “Take these 4 to prison cell 42.” “Yes sir.” Prison cell 42 proved that Dedede wasn’t concerned about the comfort of his prisoners. It was little more than a small brick room with a toilet, 1 bed, and an air vent. While Jacob searched for a way out, Roll and Iggy passed the time by playing Yugioh. Marvin was hunched in a corner, as usual. Roll looked up from her game. "Y'know, if you hadn't been so careless, Iggy..." “Yeah, yeah, I get it!” Shouted Iggy. “It’s my fault we’re in here, blah blah.” “Shut up, Iggy”, said Jacob, “Can’t you see I’m trying to escape?” Marvin walked over to them. “Can’t you see I’m trying to not think positive?” He said. Jacob looked up and saw an air vent. “I have an idea. Roll, if I pick you up will you be able to reach that vent?” “I guess so”, replied Roll. So Jacob held Roll by the feet and she tried to unscrew the air vent. “You know, I think there’s a reason that I’m on the top,” Roll said. “I mean, do you see anyone else who’s wearing a dress?” “Psst!” Someone said. It was coming from the air vent. They all looked up. There was Toph, hiding in the air vent. “What are you doing here?” Iggy asked. “Well, you know, I felt kinda bad for getting after you earlier, Iggy”, Toph confessed, "So I came over to apologized and found out you were captured." She got rid of the grate, then pulled everyone up. “That was less than comfortable”, Roll said. "Oh yeah! Toph's back!" Iggy said. "Don't get too excited, Iggy", Toph said, "As far as I'm concerned, we're still broken up." The five of them crawled through the air vent. Roll and Toph didn’t seem to cooperate very well. “You know, you’re not making this easier, Roll,” Toph complained. “You don’t exactly smell like a basket of roses,” Roll replied. That was when they fell out another air vent- landing right in Dedede’s throne room. "This is real awkward", Jacob said upon realizing that he had landed on top of Roll. Dedede groaned. “I gotta do everything myself, huh?” “Well, you are in charge of Mediaville,” Iggy pointed out. “Good point.” Dedede pulled out his hammer. “Prepare to be pancaked!” He taunted. Toph responded by pulling up a giant chunk of the floor and holding it over Dedede’s head. Dedede promptly dropped his hammer and held his hands in the air. “You know”, Toph said as Dedede signed the order to drop the new tax, “That was really anticlimactic.” Turning towards Jacob and the rest of the group, she decided, “So I guess the resistance has broken up, huh?” “Don’t worry”, Jacob reassured. “I got an anonymous tip from PikMan that the villain will appear next episode.” [spoiler=Episode 4- The Pokemon Olympics][spoiler=Part 1] Jacob grinned. The Pokemon Olympics were only a week off, and he was the only one he knew of who had a Pokemon, so he would win by default. Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. Jacob went over to answer it, and was less than excited at who was there. "Well, if it isn't my evil twin, Dark Jacob." "It's me, bro", said Dark Jacob. "Anyway, I bet you're thinking that you and Torchic are gonna win the Pokemon Olympics next week." "I didn't know you could read minds!" Said Jacob, sarcastically. "Well, just so you know, I've got a secret weapon", said Dark Jacob with a smirk. "Say hello to Umbreon!" With that, an Umbreon walked out from behind Dark Jacob. "Now if you'll excuse me, my Pokemon and I have some training to do." "Yeah, go back to being uncouth", Jacob said. Dark Jacob snickered. "Pfft. Uncouth. Is anything really just plain couth? Maybe Roll is plain couth." Dark Jacob and Umbreon walked away. Jacob went back inside. Kirby and Torchic were playing Super Mario Galaxy 2. "Well, guess I was wrong," said Jacob. "I'm not the only one with a Pokemon." "Dark Jacob got a Pokemon?" Asked Torchic, pausing the game. WTC TORCHIC'S TALKING!!! Well, if it isn't Ann 10. Well, while you're here, you may as well make commentary. Whatever. "Yep, and I don't think that we'll win if we don't start training," Jacob continued. Torchic lowered his eyebrows. "And you won't be a drill sergeant-type instructor like you were with the Yugioh tournament?" "Hey, that game was rigged! Any game with both Yugi AND Yusei is unwinnable." Kirby tapped his foot. "Torchic, can you unpause this so we can finish this level?" He can't talk either! Yeah, yeah, shut up. Jacob shrugged. "Yeah, you should get on with that Daredevil comet. We can talk about this later." Meanwhile, Dark Jacob and Umbreon were preparing for the Pokemon Olympics themselves. "Alright, Umbreon, we need to make sure that Jacob and Torchic are taught a lesson." "They've just been winning by default, though, right?" Said Umbreon. Umbreon talks too?! I NEVER would've noticed that! Maybe you should be a crime scene investigator! "That doesn't change the fact that they're still the champions," finished Dark Jacob. Umbreon rolled her eyes. "They don't actually have any experience, though." "So we'll beat them by a long shot then!" Umbreon rolled her eyes again. "Do you even know what the events are?" "Sure do!" With that, Dark Jacob held out a list that he printed from his computer. Umbreon checked it over. "Was PikMan drunk when he wrote this?" Well, were you, PikMan? If you must know, I chugged down a couple of Cokes before I wrote this. The soda Coke or the Drug Coke? (Punches Ann 10) Anyway, Umbreon then said, "Well, I'd better start getting ready since the events are so... unorthodox." "That's more like it!"[spoiler=Part 2]After a week of military-type training, both Torchic and Umbreon were ready for the Pokemon Olympics. I will serve as the announcer. And I'll be the other announcer! Hey, didn't I tell you to get out in between chapters? Yeah, but I wanna tell them what the events are and who's winning and stuff. Ugh, fine. So anyway, we kick this off with our first event: The Kenny Kick. Since Umbreon is a 4-legged Pokemon, she had a hard time figuring out how to kick Kenny. Torchic, on the other hand, was a natural; He kicked Kenny so hard, he flew over town, landing in the lava moat around Bowser's castle. Seeing this, Umbreon shouted, "Holy crap, you killed Kenny!" WAAAH SHE'S TALKING! (Slaps Ann 10) As of now, Torchic's winning. Up next we've got the Yoku Block Race. If you don't know what Yoku blocks are, you probably know them as 'Those annoying disappearing and reappearing blocks from Mega Man.' The objective of this event is to be the first/only one to make it across a road of Yoku Blocks. Umbreon stared into the sequence of blocks, memorizing it. Torchic, on the other hand, just dashed across, and was quite annoyed when a block appeared directly over his head, knocking him into the penalty zone. Now the score's tied. Then we have Umbreon's worst event: The Pokeball Put. Umbreon, also has problems throwing stuff. She tossed the Pokeball, but unwittingly at a Pokemon in the crowd, trapping him, with Umbreon ending up with a Capture Fault. "These games are fixed!" Shouted Umbreon. "Check the Germans' pants!" Torchic's in the lead again. Our coverage of the Pokemon Olympics continues with the Clean and Jerk... Sokka's Underwear... Over his Head. Thankfully, you don't have to clean them. "Are you telling me that Sokka doesn't already have a wedgie of illegal proportions?" Umbreon said to referee Katara, upon seeing that the back of Sokka's underwear was duct-taped to the back of his neck. "Yep- That's the regulation starting point", said Katara. "That's it, I'm boycotting these games." "FINALLY!" Said Sokka, relieved. [spoiler=Part 3] Hello, we now return to the 200X Pokemon Olympics! Now, I'd like to apologize to Ann 10 for any inappropriate comments I may or may not have made during the commercial break. All right, PikMan, that's 2 strikes. Yeah, yeah, what fun. So if you recall, Torchic was winning 3-1 against Umbreon. However, the contest is only half over, so Umbreon might still have a chance. The next event is the DDR Dance-Off. The object is to score the most points in a DDR match. Torchic's legs weren't very long so as he was flipping out on the DDR mat, he accidentally did the split. "Ugh! I suddenly remember why I refused to play this game when I was 1!" He said. Umbreon, on the other hand, was a natural: Being a 4-legged Pokemon DOES have advantages after all. Next event we have the Leaf Raft Race. Hey, Ann 10, can you give me a reminder of what Leaf Rafts are? Sure. Remember that one level in Super Mario Galaxy 2 with those floating Lily Pads? Oh, those things! Anyway, Torchic was an Aquaphobic for obvious reasons, so being around water made him uncomfortable. Since Umbreon had 4 legs, it was easier for her to lean farther. Torchic tried to catch up, but he fell in the water, and sank to the bottom of the 8-foot pool. "I'll save him!" Said Sonic. He ran over to the pool and jumped in- Only to remember he can't swim, either. By the time Katara got them out, Umbreon had already won. So, how's the outlook, Ann 10? The score's tied. So the last event will be the tiebreaker, then. The last event happens to be my personal favorite: The Boss Battle. The object of this event is to decrease your opponent's HP to 0. Both competetors prepared for this match. Jacob would've put one of them damp towels around Torchic's neck, but the latter was aquaphobic, so Jacob just put a towel in the dryer and put it on Torchic's neck. Dark Jacob's two archenemies were Torchic and Jacob, and he hoped that Umbreon would beat up Jacob after creaming Torchic. "Now Umbreon, show no mercy", Dark Jacob said. "Can do", Umbreon said. "Though I don't really get why I have to beat up another living thing." The bell rang. Torchic started out by using his favorite move- Flame Wheel. A ring of fire shot out from Torchic's beak, circling Umbreon at high speed. Umbreon got slightly cinged, and Dark Jacob tossed a damp towel over to Umbreon to cool it off. Umbreon put it over the burn, then chucked it at Torchic. "WAAH! Water!" Torchic aimlessly ran in circles like he always does on contact with even the tiniest amount of water. Umbreon then used Headbutt. Unfortunately for her, Torchic has a habit of lighting on fire when he goes fast. By this time, Umbreon's HP was half empty. She used her favorite move- Shadow Ball- encasing Torchic in a ball of darkness. Torchic flailed around, and by the time he escaped, his health was half empty as well. It went on like this until both Torchic and Umbreon had only 2 HP left. Jacob and his alter ego looked on with anxiety. Either one of them could win at any second, but if they attacked at the same time, it would result in a draw. Umbreon surrounded herself with dark energy. Torchic lit himself on fire. They both approached each other, preparing to deliver the final blow. But the final blow didn't get delivered. They both extinguished themselves. "You know", Torchic said, "we're pretty much equals when it comes to this, eh?" "I agree," Umbreon said. "What do ya say we call a truce?" Torchic nodded, and they both began walking away. "And by the way..." Torchic began. Jacob listened closely to what he had to say. What Torchic said made him jump. "Umbreon, do you want to go out?" Jacob and Dark Jacob looked at the 2 as they left. "You've got to be kidding!" They both said. You know, PikMan, you're a cruel writer. It's a gift! (Thanks to guest star Ann 10)[spoiler=Episode 5- Stranded][spoiler=Part 1]Dark Jacob decided to resume his normal shenanigans. Today's main event would be this: He would hide a springboard underground while pretending to sell hamburgers. Unsuspecting "customers" would walk over the springboard and be launched to a place that Dark Jacob couldn't figure out yet. He was just done setting up his stand when Jacob walked by. "OK, just confess right now. I would like to ask what you're doing." Dark Jacob knew he would be accused. "I decided to turn over a new leaf and sell burgers." "Oh really," Jacob said skeptically, remembering the incident with Dr. Wily. Dark Jacob said, "Would you like a burger?" Jacob glanced at him suspiciously."Yes, I would." Dark Jacob pretended to get a cheeseburger from under the stand, but he actually grabbed a switch that activated the springboard. "Now I know how Team Rocket feels!" Jacob wailed as he flew through the air into the desert. "Ah, what fun", Dark Jacob said. But his smile didn't last long. "Uh-oh, here comes trouble." Toph walked up to Dark Jacob. "I heard some suspicious wailing noise not far from here. Some rambling about Team Rocket. Please to explain." "Hey, Toph, could you get a little closer? I have a hearing problem." Without thinking, Toph walked closer, and was also hit by the springboard. Dark Jacob laughed. "She can be so dumb sometimes." "Hey, whatchy'a doin'?" Said a voice. It was Homestar. "Hey, that looks like fun!" He said. "I wanna ride! I wanna ride!" Dark Jacob groaned. "It's no fun when people WANT you to do it." He paused. "But then again, what the heck!" Meanwhile, in the desert, Jacob landed in the soft sand. "The sand is so soft... It's a good thing PikMan's such a convenient writer." Toph landed next to him. "Whew," Jacob said. "It looked for a second like she was gonna land on me." Just then, Homestar landed on him. "I hate you, PikMan," Jacob said. Rule #1: Never diss the writer. Jacob's legs disappeared. "OK, OK, I'm sorry. I take that back." His legs came back. "Thank you." Toph stood up. "So where are we?" Homestar got to his feet. "I think that we are in Frontierland." Jacob shook his head. "I'm pretty sure we're in the desert." "Let's just set up camp, and in the morning we can try to escape," Toph suggested. Back in Mediaville, Dark Jacob took down his stand. Then Umbreon walked by with Torchic. "Hey, have you seen Jacob?" Torchic said. "He said he was going to Gamestop, but he's been gone for over an hour." Dark Jacob knew that Umbreon would know that he was lying, so he fessed up. "I launched him, Toph, and Homestar into the desert." Umbreon looked over at Torchic, who nodded. "We're going to look for them," Umbreon decided.[spoiler=Part 2]The next morning, the group started looking for a way to escape. "Hey guys, I found something!" Said Homestar. Jacob walked over and looked at it. Homestar continued, "We can use it to get back! I call it my Boat!" Jacob looked back up. "Homestar, it's a board", he said, picking it up. "Yep", replied Homestar. "In the middle of the desert." "Yep." "And this is gonna save us." "Uh-huh, that's right." "So where's the water?" Homestar looked around. "Oh. You're right." Jacob facepalmed. "Can someone please help me here?" Toph shouted from a few yards away. "I have a hard time seeing in sand." And why can't she see well in sand? You should know that already! Anyway, the 3 of them set out on their return trip. An hour later, Homestar yawned. "I don't know about you guys, but I think that this trip is boring. Let's play a game!" He looked around for a bit. "I spy something tan." "Is it sand, by any chance?" Jacob said. "Hey, you got it right! OK, I spy something... tan." "Is it sand?" Jacob got a bit annoyed. "That's right!" Meanwhile, Umbreon and Torchic wandered through the desert just outside Mediaville. Torchic wandered around until he ended up at the edge of a cliff. "Welp, they're boned. There's no way that they can get up without Toph." "Um, Torchic, Toph is with them," Umbreon told them. "Well, it won't help if the cliff's covered in sand!" He rapidly kicked a bunch of sand on the cliff. An awkward silence fell on the two. Torchic suddenly realized what he did. "Yep. They're boned", he said. Back with Jacob, that stupid game was still going on. "Now I spy something... tan", Homestar said. "Sand", both Jacob and Toph answered. "All right. I spy something..." "Lemme guess, tan. Is it sand?" Jacob replied. "Wrong! It was the pile of sand over there!" Silence. Toph facepalmed. "I really hate that guy. Almost as much as I hate Iggy." "Why do you hate him, anyway?" Jacob asked. "If you want to keep your hands, you won't ask me that again." Jacob considered this. "You can't even see my hands." Then Jacob stopped. "Wait a minute, we passed that board from earlier at least 42 times! We're going in circles!" "Hey there!" Said a voice. Everybody except Toph looked. There was the cliff, and Torchic and Umbreon.[spoiler=Part 3]"Well, if it isn't Chicken Wings!" Said Jacob. Toph yelled, "Hey! Giving people nicknames is MY job!" Umbreon roled her eyes. "Thanks to Torchic here, you probably won't be able to climb this thing." Toph walked to the cliff. "How hard can that be?" She put her hand up against the sand Torchic spilled on the cliff in Part 2. "Oh, that." Torchic blushed, but nobody could tell, for obvious reasons. Homestar suddenly got an idea. "What if we stand on that board from earlier, while Toph sandbends a fountain of sand underneath it?" Everybody looked at Homestar. "That is a really great idea, Homestar!" Said Umbreon. "What idea?" So they put their plan into motion. Unfortunately, it didn't turn out as expected; The board was only about 6 inches wide and 12 inches long, so cramming 3 people on it was no easy task. Jacob came up with the bright idea of going 1 at a time, but that didn't seem to work either. Finally, Jacob suddenly realized how hot it was getting. He collapsed from the heat. "Oh great! We lost the main character!" Said Torchic. "Now what are we going to do?" Umbreon thought for a second. "I just thought of something... why don't we burn the board and do smoke signals?" Homestar tossed the board up the cliff, and Torchic used Ember on the board. Umbreon took a flat rock that was conveniently lying around, and began the message. Unfortunately, before they completed the message, a heavy wind started, extinguishing the flame. The force of the gust flung Homestar's cap against the cliff. Homestar picked it back up. The propellor on his cap started spinning. Torchic suddenly realized a way they could escape. "Hey Toph, are there any sharp rocks down there?" Toph felt around. "Is this OK?" She said, holding up a rock about the size of a carving knife. "That'll do just fine!" Torchic said. "Here's my idea... What if we use the rock and the board to make a makeshift propellor?" Umbreon said, "That isn't gonna work." "Sure it will!" Torchic replied confidently. "This is cartoon physics we're dealing with!" Sure enough, the humble propellor worked and the 3 of them made it up. They got back to Mediaville, and after Jacob regained consciousness, the 5 of them headed home. "Nice thinking with the board", Umbreon said to Torchic. Jacob looked around. "I told Kenny yesterday I'd meet him at Gamestop." Sure enough, there was Kenny. "I was wondering where you were!" Said Kenny, although the hoodie muffled his speech. "You said you'd be here at 5, but you took forever." Toph jumped. "AH! Zombie!" She said, remembering the incident at the warehouse. She Earthbended a chunk of asphalt from the street and smashed Kenny with it. Everyone just stared. "Holy crap, you killed Kenny!" Jacob said. "Jerk!" Torchic added. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pichu Posted June 13, 2010 Report Share Posted June 13, 2010 BOWSER! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PikMan Posted June 14, 2010 Author Report Share Posted June 14, 2010 I hate to disappoint you, Pichu, but Bowser's gonna take a backseat to the Koopalings. He will be in it, though, but not as frequently as his kids. Anyway, I would like you to place your guess as to which characters I've clued you in on in the General Premise. Once I start the fanfic, a Characters guide will be started. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PikMan Posted June 14, 2010 Author Report Share Posted June 14, 2010 Characters page is up, and so is the first part of Episode 1. How will the championship turn out? Stay tuned for partial excitement! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PikMan Posted June 14, 2010 Author Report Share Posted June 14, 2010 Bump! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jolta Posted June 14, 2010 Report Share Posted June 14, 2010 So... This is a humongous Crossover? Cool me likey. Is it OK to suggest characters? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PikMan Posted June 14, 2010 Author Report Share Posted June 14, 2010 Yeah, it's OK to suggest characters.OK, Part 2 is now up! Sorry if it's too complicated to be funny, it should get back up in Episode 2. And sorry if my remark about Morton offended anyone.Episode 1 has been completed! Episode 2 Part 1 will be posted tomorrow. Until then, what do ya think? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PikMan Posted June 14, 2010 Author Report Share Posted June 14, 2010 Change of plan, peoples- Episode 2 Part 1 is up today! Hope you like it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PikMan Posted June 15, 2010 Author Report Share Posted June 15, 2010 Part 2 of episode 2 is now up! Hope ya like it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jolta Posted June 15, 2010 Report Share Posted June 15, 2010 Yeah' date=' it's OK to suggest characters.[/quote'] Alright, how about Ben Tennyson? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pichu Posted June 15, 2010 Report Share Posted June 15, 2010 OK! A REVIEW! Episode 1-Laser Tag, You're it! We start the story with a retarded name... Welcome to Gameville. Yeah, the name’s kinda dumb, NO! REALLY![/sarcasm] but I had to call it something, and Videoland was already taken. So, here we are. There was a Videoland..... One day in Gameville, Jacob was walking down the street with his roommates, Torchic and Kirby. Everything seemed normal enough; Yeah! Real normal! You're walking down the street with a black hole and a Pokemon. That's normal alright! The sky was partly cloudy, the plants were carnivorous, plumbers jumped on mushrooms with eyes, I believe their names are, M and L. and guys without arms could carry stuff. WHOOP-DE-DA! Give `em a prize! Then they heard the familiar call of “Eggs tree! Eggs tree!” It was Homestar. He was doing his part time job as a newspaper boy. He stopped next to Jacob and chucked a newspaper at them, and ran off. Nice town. All you need is an emo Pikachu and Gameland or whatever is perfect! Jacob picked it up. “Whoa, there’s going to be a Lasertag championship in 3 weeks!” Said Jacob. Lasertag.... lasertag.... Why can't it be something better like..... OH! Ann 10 comes to town! “It seems like you’re hyped”, said Torchic, HOLY S*** IT TALKS! But wait... I'm a Pichu and I can talk. What do you think Ann? HOLY S*** IT TALKS! Well she is a human! who had the ability to speak English after a run-in with Iggy Koopa. “It’s just too bad you got kicked off the Lasertag team last year.” YOU WERE KICKED OFF! Jacob chose that time to have a brain fart. “Wha-?!” He asked. “Don’t you remember what happened last year?” Replied Kirby. No we don't, marshmallow! TELL US! Then Jacob had a vivid flashback of the moment: In Gameville, the Lasertag rules state that if a Team Captain gets gunned down, that team loses. Jacob was the team captain, Smart idea! Giving the human the spot of team captain! but Rayman was the brains behind him. Rayman explained their plan. “All right, we’re gonna have Kirby and Mario flank left while me and Jacob head straight. I’ll take off from Jacob to cover his rear while Link helps Jacob gun down Bowser. So Tails, how’s our plan?” Bowser is an easy target! He's FAT! Tails stepped up. “Our chances of success are about 2,846 to 1.” So you have a human, a bunny killer, a black hole, a plumber, a warrior, and a fox with two tails. GREAT TEAM! Not... “That’s better than we usually do”, said Rayman. Jacob (Who had been daydreaming that he was in the bathroom) Gross... just gross.... suddenly shouted “All right, time’s up chumps, let’s do this!” He grabbed his gun in his hand, and as he bolted out he shouted at the top of his lungs “LEERRROOOOOOOOOY JENKINS!!!” Leeroy Jenkins? I have no idea who he is. He was barely 10 yards away from his team when he tripped on thin air. No, it wasn’t air- It was Larry Koopa, Bowser’s 2nd youngest child. With who? As Larry aimed his gun, he taunted, “The force is strong with you, Jacob, but you are not a Jedi yet.” Bang. I thought he was a koopa, not Yoda! Then Jacob snapped back into the present. "No, I don't", he lied. “That figures”, said an unbelieving Kirby. It just hit me that Kirby can't talk ether. Jacob is roommates are two characters who can't talk. And he thinks he can magicly make them talk?!?! Just then, Mega Man and his sister, Roll, walked by. First humans, then talking Pokemon, the walking gumball, the mean paperboy, and now robots.... (And please don’t ask me to explain Roll’s name, I’m not in the mood.) “Hey guys!” Said Mega Man. “What’s up?” Roll walked over and saw the article in the newspaper about the Lasertag championship. “This is about the Leeroy Jacob incident, isn’t it?” She said. Now it's Leeroy Jacob? What happened to Leeroy Jenkins? Before they even had a chance to answer, Roll continued. “Well, good news for Jacob; The legislation was passed so that people cannot get kicked off the team, so Jacob’s back in.” No can get kicked off but Jacob. Jacob, Kirby, and Torchic had a simultaneous “WHA-?!” Can't talk!!! The look in Mega Man’s eyes made it clear he wasn’t enthusiastic about the idea either. “Hey don’t look at me, it was Roll’s idea to ask Dedede. How in hell did I get in the story!?!?! Ah, well. See you in 3 weeks.” Both of the androids left. Back to the human and the two who can't talk. Once they were out of earshot, Mega Man decided to mess with Roll a little bit. “You just suggested that to Dedede because you like Jacob!” Roll blushed. “Wha- No I don’t!” Here-here! Here-Here! To the people and talking gum of my land! Roll likes Jacob! Oh Dedede! Isn't he funny? Mega Man smirked. “That’s fine, your secrets safe with me!” Roll groaned, then blushed some more. Meanwhile, one of them awkward silences fell upon Jacob and his friends. Kirby broke the silence after a full 2 minutes. “Welp, we’re boned.” They're not talking! YAY!-------------------------------------------------------------Thanks to my guest stars,King Dedede and Ann Tennyson! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PikMan Posted June 15, 2010 Author Report Share Posted June 15, 2010 Yeah' date=' it's OK to suggest characters.[/quote'] Alright, how about Ben Tennyson?Um, who's Ben Tennyson?And Pichu, about your review... (Tries to hold back laughter) It was... unintentionally hilarious. And for the record, Leeroy Jenkins is the name of a Youtube video about World of Warcraft. Not that I play it, but the video is REAL infamous. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jolta Posted June 15, 2010 Report Share Posted June 15, 2010 Er Pichu, is Kirby a black hole, a marshmallow, or both? I'm puzzled. EDIT: Never mind, if you don't know the character don't add him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pichu Posted June 15, 2010 Report Share Posted June 15, 2010 Yeah' date=' it's OK to suggest characters.[/quote'] Alright, how about Ben Tennyson?Um, who's Ben Tennyson?And Pichu, about your review... (Tries to hold back laughter) It was... unintentionally hilarious. And for the record, Leeroy Jenkins is the name of a Youtube video about World of Warcraft. Not that I play it, but the video is REAL infamous.first of all. WHO'S BEN TENNYSON!?!?![/b[ haven't you heard of Ben 10 or Ben 10 Alien Force!?!?!And thanks for liking my review! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PikMan Posted June 15, 2010 Author Report Share Posted June 15, 2010 OH, OK. Yeah, I think I could put him in my fanfic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PikMan Posted June 15, 2010 Author Report Share Posted June 15, 2010 Alright, episode 2 has been completed. Just to let you know, I also accept ideas for episodes. I probably won't use it, but if it's good, I will write the episode and give the sender a +rep. Bad episodes will not get a -rep, so don't worry. And please... No cusses in the reviews. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PikMan Posted June 15, 2010 Author Report Share Posted June 15, 2010 Episode 3 has officially started! Once this episode is finished, I will introduce the series' villain! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phantom Roxas Posted June 16, 2010 Report Share Posted June 16, 2010 I shall deliver a better review in the same format as Pichu did attempted to copy. [spoiler=Like No 1 Ever Was]We begin with a Chapter Plot - which is here referred to as "General Premise" - likely because PikMan is too impatient to reveal the plot to us that he would rather lay it out in front of us rather than let us read the story itself. Granted, a majority of published books do the same on the back, but for a fanfic it is simply ridiculous. Gameville is a place where characters from video games, books, movies, TV, and the internet coexist with each other. Then why is it called Gameville? Shouldn't it be Mediaville or something equally unoriginal? If, for whatever reason, I am planning my vacation to Gameville, I am under the impression that I will only see things relevant to video games there. Sadly, as books and movies have been thrown in, I will have to deal with the unending torture of the characters from Twilight and Eragon. If I am to believe that Mediaville Gameville is some kind of paradise, which I'm expecting to be the case here, then I want Stephenie Meyer and Christopher Paolini's influence removed posthaste. In the middle of this, the creator of this fictional world (meaning me) decided to create a cartoon version of himself. This character, a teenager named Jacob, faces the same challenges he does in real life, except alongside quirky characters including (But not limited to): Before we even get to his problems, the author has needlessly inserted himself as this story's equivalent of God (Though a God that allows my favorite characters of fiction to live in the same land as Bella Swan and Eragon is far from righteous), and said insertion created his own insertion. That means Jacob, who is clearly going to be our hero, is an author's avatar's author's avatar. Due to this redundancy, I suspect Jacob is going to be a very boring protagonist who will succeed in goals our PikMan only dares to dream of. -a firebreathing chicken pleasebetorchicpleasebetorchicpleasebetorchicpleasebetorchic -a marshmallow with a black hole for a stomach Wait, what? -a seeing-impaired turtle... dragon... thing with an IQ higher than Einstein No, you don't stutter like that with the description. -a blind girl who can manipulate rocks, and Toph's in this? At least the author had a good choice for at least one character. -an extremely accident-prone guy in an orange hoodie. Okay, no idea who that is. Also, I must point out your awful way of listing. The format should be "- A (insert description". This may be nitpicking, when you want to submit your resumé, you want to make sure it looks good. (Place your guess as to who they are.) It appears that when PikMan originally posted this story, Chapter Plot was all he had, and even that was just a "This is the setting to somehow make this crossover make sense, here are the characters." He's obviously trying to give us the challenge of guessing these characters, but as this is a crossover where the target audience should be fans of a majority of the involved franchises, there should be no reason to give us trivia when you should just outright state throughout the story which character is which. Chapter Characters, which was posted only a day after Chapter Plot, reveals these characters, making the whole point of guessing, well, pointless. And yes, Jacob is my real name. And so my opinion of Jacob is finalized. We immediately move on to Chapter Characters. Jacob- A carefree video game enthusiast and the only Mii in Gameville… so far. You don't understand the concept of Last of His Kind, do you? We are led to believe that he is the last one, and while it's often not really a big twist that there is another one, this is very poor foreshadowing. It's not even foreshadowing at all. It's just "He's the only guy here, but there there will be more somehow." Torchic- Jacob’s best friend. A firebreathing chicken who can speak English. You actually did make it Torchic, thank you, and he'll be serving the role of the Pikachu I guess. Please don't make him the Piplup. Kirby- A Mashmallow with an appetite rivaling that of Yoshi. The hint for Kirby was "a marshmallow with a black hole for a stomach", but here it's just his big appetite. Is "black hole" a metaphor, or is PikMan just mistaking "vacuum-style Mega Manning" with "black hole"? Roll- An android designed as Mega Man’s sister. She’s a huge clean freak. Iggy- A Koopaling with a higher IQ than Einstein. Rumor has it that he has skeletons in his closet, which I will partially reveal in Episode 3. Wait, what? I was expecting that Chapter Characters would confirm the identities of each character in the same order Chapter Plot hinted them at, and it followed that order up to this point. Iggy is the "genius turtle-dragon-thing", obviously, but where does Roll come from? She wasn't even hinted at! This is the last of the listed characters, and yet neither Toph nor the accident-prone kid were listed. This shows that PikMan is somehow unable to maintain continuity between Chapter Plot and Chapter Characters. Aside from the fact that this is a crossover fic, this terrible continuity error is what shows that we are to prepare ourselves for something terrible. Characters will be added as I go on. Then why don't you add in Toph and the klutz right now? Well, after two not-really-chapters, we've finally arrived at Chapter 1. Of course, PikMan seems to prefer the terrible method of posting a chapter in parts. What's that? Oh, fine, I did that with Hopeless Paradise, but that was a pretty large segment, and I formatted them into proper chapters. Here PikMan has each part under a spoiler, apparently unaware of a certain little line that should obviously denote a transition. Oh well, we've managed to survive Chapter Plot and Chapter Characters, so perhaps we'll just take a look at Chapter 1 Part 1 and be done with it. Chapter 1 is titled "Laser Tag, You're It!" Should I be scared? Welcome to Gameville. Yeah, the name’s kinda dumb, but I had to call it something, and Videoland was already taken. So, here we are. Two sentences into the actual story and you've already made an unforgivable mistake: Commenting on your own inability to come up with a better name by directly speaking towards us is not something to do within the actual story. Granted, Google informs me Mediaville is already taken, but honestly, this is a fanfic. I'm pretty sure not many people are going to give a damn if you were to call the place Videoland. "Gameville" is also apparently taken, anyway, so why are you afraid of give this place a name that's already taken if you're going to give this place a name that's already taken? One day in Gameville, Jacob was walking down the street with his roommates, Torchic and Kirby. Everything seemed normal enough; The sky was partly cloudy, the plants were carnivorous, plumbers jumped on mushrooms with eyes, and guys without arms could carry stuff. The description here astounds me. You describe the plants, the plumbers, even the sky, and yet you refuse to describe our heroes and Jacob You're one of those people who expect people to already know what your characters look like because you're using character people are familiar. Sure, Torchic and Kirby are pretty well known, but is it honestly that hard to describe a red little chicken and a pink marshmallow? In fact, how do the guys without arms carry stuff? What stuff do they carry? Are they carrying turkeys with their teeth? Then they heard the familiar call of “Eggs tree! Eggs tree!” I'm very certain that if I was in a town, I certain wouldn't recognize people screaming "Eggs tree!" at me. Perhaps this call is familiar only to citizens of Gameville? It was Homestar. Look, a character that wasn't even mentioned in Chapter Plot or Chapter Characters! He was doing his part time job as a newspaper boy. He stopped next to Jacob and chucked a newspaper at them, and ran off. Jacob picked it up. “Whoa, there’s going to be a Lasertag championship in 3 weeks!” Said Jacob. PikMan, Jacob is supposed to be you, correct? Is this really how you act? In fact, the title spells "Laser Tag" as two separate words, but from here on out "Lasertag" is a single word. Also, "Said". Get your cups out guys, because that's the first sip. “It seems like you’re hyped”, said Torchic, who had the ability to speak English after a run-in with Iggy Koopa. Read the first chapter of Fairy Tail. You will see the main character's pet companion is a blue cat named Happy. He speaks, and we accept this because Fairy Tail is fantasy. There is no need to reveal right here that Torchic gained the ability to speak English so hamfistedly. Couldn't we just wait for Iggy Koopa to show up to explain that in way that's not "As you know" purely for the benefit of the audience? “It’s just too bad you got kicked off the Lasertag team last year.” Jacob chose that time to have a brain fart. “Wha-?!” He asked. “Don’t you remember what happened last year?” Replied Kirby. Take two sips. Then Jacob had a vivid flashback of the moment: In Gameville, the Lasertag rules state that if a Team Captain gets gunned down, that team loses. Jacob was the team captain, but Rayman was the brains behind him. Rayman explained their plan. “All right, we’re gonna have Kirby and Mario flank left while me and Jacob head straight. Finally, someone who knows that flashbacks are a better method than As You Know. However, the correctness of that method is negated by one think: "me and Jacob." Did you somehow miss the point in grade school where it was revealed that you are to right "Jacob and I"? I’ll take off from Jacob to cover his rear while Link helps Jacob gun down Bowser. So Tails, how’s our plan?” Tails stepped up. “Our chances of success are about 2,846 to 1.” “That’s better than we usually do”, said Rayman. Take a sip. Jacob (Who had been daydreaming that he was in the bathroom) No. "Jacob - who had been daydreaming that he was in the bathroom -"is what you should do. suddenly shouted “All right, time’s up chumps, let’s do this!” He grabbed his gun in his hand, and as he bolted out he shouted at the top of his lungs “LEERRROOOOOOOOOY JENKINS!!!” You somehow forget to put a comma after "lungs." Also, obligatory pop culture reference. That's worth another sip. He was barely 10 yards away from his team when he tripped on thin air. No, it wasn’t air- It was Larry Koopa, Bowser’s 2nd youngest child. What's the point of saying he tripped on thin air - something that's it intangible, mind you - when you're just going to contradict it a sentence later and say it was a living being. As Larry aimed his gun, he taunted, “The force is strong with you, Jacob, but you are not a Jedi yet.” Bang. Take a sip. Then Jacob snapped back into the present. "No, I don't", he lied. “That figures”, said an unbelieving Kirby. That was a painfully pointless flashback then. Furthermore, dialogue made by two separate character shouldn't be on the same line; you did this earlier. Just then, Mega Man and his sister, Roll, walked by. (And please don’t ask me to explain Roll’s name, I’m not in the mood.) I wouldn't have asked you to anyway, but because you insisted on putting that request within parentheses within the story, I've decided that you now have to explain Roll's name. “Hey guys!” Said Mega Man. Take a sip. “What’s up?” Roll walked over and saw the article in the newspaper about the Lasertag championship. “This is about the Leeroy Jacob incident, isn’t it?” She said. Unnecessary naming method for an inside-joke of an incident via pop culture reference, having this dialogue on the same line as Mega Man's, and capitalizing "She". Since you put all those mistakes at once here, I think you should all take five sips here. Before they even had a chance to answer, Roll continued. “Well, good news for Jacob; The legislation was passed so that people cannot get kicked off the team, so Jacob’s back in.” This only makes the previous flashback even more pointless. We learn that Jacob epically failed on a Lasertag game, was apparently kicked out because of said fail, and yet said expulsion has already been revoked. We're not even a third of the way done with the first chapter, and the plot as it is has already been rushed. Couldn't Jacob have just failed, and his motivation this year is to not fail as much as last time. The simple idea of a Laser Tag Lasertag legislation is so stupid that I'm pretty sure they only exist just to revoke the ban. Is this world's "Lasertag" the equivalent of CARD GAMES ON MOTORCYCLES!? Jacob, Kirby, and Torchic had a simultaneous “WHA-?!” Looks like it is. The look in Mega Man’s eyes made it clear he wasn’t enthusiastic about the idea either. Why shouldn't he? Aren't they on the same team? Is Mega Man worried that Jacob fails so much that letting him back on the team will be their downfall? If Jacob is to prove he's worthy of being our protagonist, I'm sure he'd have tried to get better, but who said Jacob was worthy? PikMan did, because Jacob is PikMan. “Hey don’t look at me, it was Roll’s idea to ask Dedede. Ah, well. See you in 3 weeks.” Both of the androids left. I've seen 100s of people who don't know how to write 1 number in letters, likely because they're too lazy to input 4 extra keys. Once they were out of earshot, Mega Man decided to mess with Roll a little bit. “You just suggested that to Dedede because you like Jacob!” Roll blushed. “Wha- No I don’t!” Take a sip. Also, I really don't like when romance is shoehorned like this. Rave? That did romance pretty well, only here it's worse. PikMan has written Roll so that she has a crush on him. That's pretty creepy, since Roll is an android. Interspecies/interracial romance aside, a robot crushing on a human Mii seems pretty weird. Now, apparently PikMan was anticipating criticism for this very thing. PikMan, if you are aware that people would criticize this, why do it in the first place? I already planned to complain about this part anyway, but your revelation that you expected this just amazes me. Mega Man smirked. “That’s fine, your secret's safe with me!” Roll groaned, then blushed some more. Meanwhile, one of them awkward silences fell upon Jacob and his friends. Kirby broke the silence after a full 2 minutes. “Welp, we’re boned.” "ONE OF THEM AWKWARD SILENCES." Also, that closing line is from "Bender's Big Score", so take another sip. Overall, the story is boring. We got a crossover fanfic here, with characters mentioned in Chapter Plot and Chapter Characters that regrettably don't even make it here, but perhaps they do eventually. My only motivation to read further is to find out when these characters actually do show up, if at all. The story obviously is a Wish Fulfillment Fic, where PikMan is friends with a talking Torchic (Admittedly, this would be awesome) and several other video game characters, not to mention the uninteresting one-sided romance between Roll and Jacob (SPOILER: Jacob has always liked Roll, too), stemming only because PikMan is obviously a fan of Roll, and while I personally have no problem with him being a fan of her, making the main character a self-insert who is the love interest of Roll is so blatant that I just can't let it slide. The beginning promised me "Super Smash Bros. Meets Homestar Runner, but this seems more "Jacob prepares for a Lastertag championship with his video game friends as Homestar has been degraded to a mailman." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PikMan Posted June 16, 2010 Author Report Share Posted June 16, 2010 First of all, I only hinted at a few characters, hence the 'but not limited to'. Secondly, as revealed later on in the fanfic (spoiler alert), the romance isn't completely one-sided. Third, I was almost certain that anyone can see that the kid in the orange hoodie is, in fact, Kenny. You know, that guy who died every episode up to season 5 in South Park. Fourth, what I meant by "Smash Bros meets Homestar Runner" is "Smash Bros-style crossover in the style of Homestar Runner". Finally, only the really major characters will be on the characters part. I will change Gameville to Mediaville, though. I couldn't find the right word for it, so thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrabHelmet Posted June 16, 2010 Report Share Posted June 16, 2010 I'm just here to say one thing: you wrote this story so that a fictional robot would be in love with you. That is all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PikMan Posted June 16, 2010 Author Report Share Posted June 16, 2010 Actually, I've been dreaming up this entire concept WAY before I even heard of Mega Man, let alone a supporting character. I added the "You like him" comment later. Wow. This is gonna be a pressing issue, isn't it? Well, chances are, the romance will be considerably less prominent in season 2. In the meantime, could someone review part 2 of episode 1? 'Cause that's where I think the series hits its low point.Episode 3 is now officially complete. I will now take a little break before I begin Episode 4. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pichu Posted June 16, 2010 Report Share Posted June 16, 2010 Hey PikMan! if you haven't read my second review yet, you should. Talking Torchic and talking Kirby TALK in it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PikMan Posted June 16, 2010 Author Report Share Posted June 16, 2010 Oh yeah, I've read it! Anyway, if you want to, you can review another part of my fanfic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pichu Posted June 16, 2010 Report Share Posted June 16, 2010 i might, i might be a later number Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PikMan Posted June 17, 2010 Author Report Share Posted June 17, 2010 After I finish episode 4, I will be working on an extended Character page that describes EVERY. SINGLE. FRIGGIN'. CHARACTER... IN DETAIL. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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