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The Physics of Santa Clause (5 scientific reasons he doesn't exist)


Nishi-chan

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Guest Supreme Gamesmaster

An alternative proposition:

 

Somewhere in the universe, a crystalline structure exists that is at least as dense as diamond and as large as planet Earth. (Seeing as the universe is too big for the laws of physics, this is more probable than you'd think.) Santa uses advanced subspace-ansible technology to send his genetic and molecular data to this structure, which then 're-creates' Santa in the home of the child he wishes to give presents to. This process is better known as "teleportation," and if multiple teleport-copies were created at once, visiting every good Christian child in the world would be child's-play.

 

Fight fire with fire.

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An alternative proposition:

 

Somewhere in the universe' date=' a crystalline structure exists that is at least as dense as diamond and as large as planet Earth. (Seeing as the universe is too big for the laws of physics, this is more probable than you'd think.) Santa uses advanced subspace-ansible technology to send his genetic and molecular data to this structure, which then 're-creates' Santa in the home of the child he wishes to give presents to. This process is better known as "teleportation," and if multiple teleport-copies were created at once, visiting every good Christian child in the world would be child's-play.

 

Fight fire with fire.

[/quote']

Just out of curiosity, since when was Santa a Christian thing? Most of the really up-tight Christians I know think that Santa is evil because it takes the focus of Jesus. (yes i know it sounds stupid)

 

But actually, your idea is a really good one.

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Guest Supreme Gamesmaster

An alternative proposition:

 

Somewhere in the universe' date=' a crystalline structure exists that is at least as dense as diamond and as large as planet Earth. (Seeing as the universe is too big for the laws of physics, this is more probable than you'd think.) Santa uses advanced subspace-ansible technology to send his genetic and molecular data to this structure, which then 're-creates' Santa in the home of the child he wishes to give presents to. This process is better known as "teleportation," and if multiple teleport-copies were created at once, visiting every good Christian child in the world would be child's-play.

 

Fight fire with fire.

[/quote']

Just out of curiosity, since when was Santa a Christian thing? Most of the really up-tight Christians I know think that Santa is evil because it takes the focus of Jesus. (yes i know it sounds stupid)

 

But actually, your idea is a really good one.

We will assume that Santa Claus only applies to those who celebrate Christmas; id est, Christians. However, I agree that, like Christmas itself, he was used to win gentile and pagan converts (though he was adopted from different cultures.) Amusingly, early Protestants had the "evil-Santa" theory as well; your acquaintances seem to use the same argument.

 

Thankies. :D

 

Also, one particularly awesome author wrote an entire book called The Physics of Christmas, and while I've never read it, I've read some of his other works, and I'm certain it's epic.

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WEEGEE OBJECTION!!!

 

Your scientific scenario is very unlikely, because if science were 100% fact, religion wouldn't exist, thus no Santa at all, which is what your scientific arguement is based on, thus you would have no arguement because of your arguement.

 

I have a theory that Santa is actually the elf D'Klass (descendent of an ancient elven king) who is trying to get rid of human greed by delivering presents one day per year under the guise of a world-wide time stop. With advanced elven technology he can deliver the presents at his leisure with some sort of densifying machine to compact the presents, a flying machine in the form of reindeer, and of course the world-wide time stop I stated earlier.

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Your "scientific" scenario is very unlikely. I have a theory that Santa is actually the elf D'Klass (descendent of an ancient elven king) who is trying to get rid of human greed by delivering presents one day per year under the guise of a world-wide time stop.

 

You've been watching too much Hell Boy

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You are talking about Santa Clause existing because he is not Science, but magic.

 

BUT, using a simple argument, I will prove that you contradict yourselves:

 

 

Any sufficiently advanced science not to be understood is magic. = Magic IS a sufficiently advanced not to be understood science.

 

Science denied = magic denied.

 

End of story.

This increases the payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh - 353' date='430 tons. Again, for comparison - this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth[b'](the ship)[/b].

 

I lol'd hard at this one.

He mentioned the ship because the other alternative would have been too heavy to compare.

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